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| PureDrkness
PureDrkness
[4535302]
[2007-04-09 23:21:18 +0000 UTC]
"¬___¬"
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 10180; Deviations: 11; Watchers: 108
Watching: 3057; Pageviews: 25499; Comments Made: 727; Friends: 3057
# Interests
Favorite movies: Sweeney ToddFavorite bands / musical artists: Paramore/Three Days Grace
Favorite writers: Patrick Jones/David Klass
Favorite games: Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Other Interests: Music, Computers, Foxes, Wolves
# Comments
Comments: 1527
Oh wow. That really sucks. I can see why you were upset O: I would be too if I had to re-do an essay. And it's okay, haha. I don't mind-just so long you're not mad at me
Anyways
I don't want to go through the motions. I want to take a detour. Haha.
Apparently BCC doesn't giveashit either. Expect for about actually doing work and trying to learn because you're paying to be there and if you aren't going to take the classes seriously, they're wasting money and need to getthefuckout. Or so one of Mindy's teacher's said, what was it, last year? I can't remember.
And she only went because of the NJ stars thing. Her reasoning was why pay for the first two years where she'll learn the same thing anywhere when she can go for free pretty much to BCC because of the stars program. She plans to transfer to TCNJ I believe next year. And she's majoring in Education. One of her teachers told her she was too smart and she shouldn't be at BCC and she should go. It was funny.
And okay. I'll tell her O:
You procrastinator. Haha -not one to talk...-
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thanks for the procrastinator thing. I am. lol. My mom who felt devistated about it, sadly. wrote me a new essay O.o i know. i was shocked too. it needs some fine tune up, but I am going to rewrite it in the morning. Send it to the teacher and see if that's what she wants? if not I am going to see If i can be moved to another class. Also if not, I am dropping it.
I am not mad at you, just the world XD
I knew Mindy was majoring in education. I heard her a lot on being a teacher. Well a lot of my teachers did tell me I was bright. I just don't know when to apply my self. I could of been in the stars program too, but well. I got sick X( Then yeah. you know the story.
You should wish me luck. I am going to do something romantic for my Nicola. she is coming to Jersey in October, and I want to see if there are sparks. If there isn't I don't know if I could open myself up to the right person X( *tear* But I know there are sparks. I hope. you kind of see that I am also doubt myself. lol. But wish me luck on that, and I'll finish my series of Alice and Me. With Alice's Answer. I hope everything works out for me. who knows, maybe we going somewhere in my life could save me. My disease could get better. Who knows, anything can happen.
Well know I am dreaming about a reality that doesn't exist. That's unhealthy. I am going to bed. ttyl
~Ash
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Just so you know, I'm answering this backwards.
You're not dreaming of a reality that doesn't exist. Stop doubting yourself. You can't be negative. At least not all the time and when it involves you. I know I don't know you too well, but I know you well enough to say: You're a great guy, any girl would be lucky to have you, you're smart and funny and nice, you're not a jerk like most guys are. You're a wonderful person. Stop doubting yourself because you're smart and you can do most likely anything you want to do. You just need to believe that and not be negative about it or doubt it.
The disease you have, maybe it won't go away, but it does have a good chance of getting better. So you can't doubt that either. You need to look at the silver lighting (or is it lining?) of things. I'm sure things will go, at least, well, if not, great for you and Nicola. Don't stress or get upset about it. It hasn't even happened it. And it won't be the end of the world if there are sparks just for one of you or something. Just give it time. Love comes to those who wait. Or something like that. I can't remember the saying right. But, hopefully, you get what I mean.
Just be happy and positive about it. Have a good attitude about it. I'm sure it'll be fine.
-cutting that rant short...-
Okay, good 
More a librarian than a teacher, but she still has to go through the teaching thing to be one.
Awww D: And there was no way you could have made it up? -doesn't really pay much attention to the whole stars program thing so I have no idea-
Your mom re-wrote your essay for you? O: Wow. Lucky. xD My mom wouldn't do that. At least not unless it was super important or something. I don't know. But at least she helped you. And at least you can put some of your effort into it and tune it up a bit XDD;
But, uh, yeah.
Hopefully the teacher will accept it this time =/
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Thanks for the rant. I needed it. <3 <3
And it's the silver lining. lol.
Well yeah. I just typed it up. lol. I have to go to bed. lol. dentist tomorrow. two cavities. >.< Well I will give you a shout, when I get back
~Ash
P.S.
I am glad your doing good in school.
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Of course ^^
Ah, okay. Thanks, haha. I always forget what it is.
Aww D: Stop getting sugary things, mister. -finger shake- Haha, just kidding. But, still, yeah. I haven't had any cavities yet, but from my dad and Mindy, I know they suck D:
And thanks? haha.
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lol. i don't mind needles in my mouth. i just had it on the top of my lip. the needle on the top part of my mouth. it hurt like a bitch lol XD but it took 5 min. he said they were just starting. so it was from my sugar fest i had a while back.
My sister is in the hospital with pneumonia. :'( I need the power of good spiritual energy for the next couple days. I hope you can give.
Ttyl
~Ash~Ehgg
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I can't even stand seeing a 1inch needle go into my arm. o__O You're fine with them in your mouth? Crazy, pure craziness there. I'd be freaking out. (even though one of my screen names on another site is poisoned needles and poisonous injection....ironic). You need to floooossssss O: Especially after a sugar fest 
Awwww D: I'll do my best? D: I'm sorry to hear. I hope she gets better soon
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she's a little better. I think i just aced my anatomy test, I got a 60 on my math test(forgot a section to look over XD) and I have to take a psychology test. i am doing the study guide right now. So I will cut this short, and g2g. I love goofing off lol.
I hope you see my pole, and give my sister some of your spiritual energy.
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I hope so DDD:
And I hope you did well on that test too O:
>> How did you forget to look over the section? And good luck with that psychology test.
And stop goofing off so much!! You can't afford to fail those classes, mister! O:
And okay.
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lol. i decided to wing it XD It's multi choice. so i think i can XD i hope lol. Well yeah. I am going to bed. i am pooped!! ttyl
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Well you have a sorta good chance I suppose....O: Maybe. I dunno.
Good luck ^^ ;;;;
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I got a 50 on the test XD I knew i do bad. if i don't buckle down to begin with in the beginning i do terrible. it's my study habit. so this is my punishment. lol. No scolding. I got enough of that from my mother. But now I am starting to get used to school. I'll do better on the next exam. Watch me! 
My sister doesn't have bacterial in her blood. Which is good. she won't get sicker. But she isn't eating, so they put in a feeding tube through her nose. OUCH! I was there for 5 hours today. Ugh. that could be another reason i did terrible. I was thinking about my sister. Ugh. i hate having emotion troubles >.<
Ugh
Ugh
Ugh!
So how was your day?
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Ash, you better study, you, mister -fake motherly voice- << -shouldn't really be talking...never studies-You better do well on your next exam. You can't fail this class. It's important, even if it's boring as hell. >_>
That's good O:
The no bacterial thing, that is.
Through her nose? D: Why not do that one thing those people do and put, like, mush food through a tube thingy in their arm or whatever it is? Much less painful and uncomfortable than the NOSE. Or at least, I would assume so.
And don't worry. I'm sure anyone who's sibling was in the hospital sick would be distracted, too.
My day was long.
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why? How is your day. I just ordered Tarot Cards. I am getting them tomorrow. I can't wait to learn how to do the future lol.
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Crap, forgot what I put in reply and I can't look at it on the laptop. I can't answer your 'why'
My day was long. Good, but long.
And nice, lol. Good luck figuring out how to use them O:
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lol. get back to me on the why? lol. i am pooped. i am going to bed. to awake to another early morning, to fall dead like usual.
Night
~Ash~Ehgg
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Was the why for me telling you to study or something else?
Haha, well, hope you get enough sleep, then. And I hope your sister gets better sooon DD:
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she's doing a little better today. I spent from 11 to 5:30 with her, and my mom. Going to do it again tomorrow. but tomorrow i am going to bring HW lol. I got English, Psych, and Anatomy to study XD It's fun to learn, so yeah. I just learned how to do Tarot cards. Its fuckin scary lol. it told me that I am going to meet the love of my life soon. And another nurse lady the other day told me that my aura and stuff. Well at the end she told me that the girl I am in love with, will marry me soon. not soon in which now. But maybe after college? I was sooo happy. sorry to seem uninterested with you. I just get home, and die. But today I left so I had enough energy to do what I needed to do. lol. Well yeah.
How's school going?
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I'm glad that your sister's gotten better. Hopefully you're not failing anything yet, either
xD Well I'm glad that you got that result for the girl you're in love with thing. I hope it comes true for you.
And for the uninterested thing, blahh. I don't have much to talk about. Just been very tired lately. My dad is coming home, and I'm procrastinating my homework again. xD Not much to tell you.
School is alright. Boring as hell. But at times it's okay. (such as the time before homeroom, after 4th period, 5th period, and lunch)
But that's pretty much it. -shrug-
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Im glad that everything is going good for you.
Your dad's coming home. Must be exciting! Right?
And thanks for the girl who I am deeply in love with. But my fortune did tell me that rough times are ahead of us. I am thinking that this is to easy. I am probably going to be rejected, like the many times before. She tells me that we're not, what we are. But she gives me mix signals. idk. she is someone i really like. And i realize, if this doesn't work out. Maybe...I can't believe i am saying this. A separation is in order. Maybe. I was told by a really good psychic, of what kind of soul I am. I am a old soul, and i am a soul looking for love. I feel empty without it. I don't want her and I to rush madly into a marriage. I just want answers. Is she in love with me, as I am in love with her. You understand? You don't talk to a guy for 7 years and not have feelings for him. You don't tell him that you put your love poem, which he wrote directly to her, under her pillow each night. Maybe I am stupid at the romance thing, but I know the signs when I see them. I may not be a cow boy, or a really handsome guy. I know that. I am also damaged good.s I walk with a cane. I don't think she wants me because of that reason. I always think of that. I always pick the most horrible reasons. She is my love, my life. If I didn't have her, I probably not have anyone. My heart has been through hell. My dog dieing, my cat dieing. My sister close to her expiration date, and Niki. Ugh. I wish this was a little easier.
Sorry to bore you. If I did. i had to tell someone. What do you think?
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Yes. It was. Especially since I'm a daddy's girl
Anyways
Don't worry about boring me. It's hard to do that (well...unless you're trying to teach me history/geometry/science....). And I'm absolutely fine with you ranting to me about anything or whatever. I don't mind, and I won't tell anyone.
Anyways
That really is a whole lot. So I'm just going to skip around in that message a bit to reply to.
The reason you're thinking she doesn't want you, the cane thing, that's stupid. I mean, I don't know for sure what she is thinking. But if she's known you and has been friends with you and has been there for you for 7 years, I HIGHLY doubt that the fact that you need a cane is the reason she wouldn't want to be with you. I don't know for sure, but I'm going to base this guess off of what I know from my girl friends and myself. Since she's known you for so long, she probably does have feelings for you. Maybe they aren't as strong as you're hoping, but there is something there. But maybe she's worried that maybe something will happen if she dates you, and then your really good friendship will be ruined and it will never be the same for you two. That's the common fear that I know of when it's something like this.
Need an example? Well, I've been best friends with this guy in Florida for almost five years now. He's always telling me that he loves me, that I'm his true love and he doesn't want anyone else even when I argue with him to go find someone. Even if I lie or tell him something very nasty or whatever. He doesn't care. I could annoy him so much that I make him angry with me, but he'll get over it. And his reasoning for loving me like he does is because I've been there for him when he needed someone. He's gone through a lot, not the same situation you're having, but he's been through hell too. And I love him. I really do love him, but I won't date him. Every time I have, I break up with him. I just don't want something to happen between me and him that will end up making us no longer friends, or it'll be very awkward talking to each other or something.
But, hey, maybe this girl is different. I don't know for sure. But that's just my guess. And you can reassure her all you want, but she might still doubt it, if that is the reason anyways.
Oh wow. wrote more than I had planned. And now I forget what else I was going to say...
Hmm...
I'm not sure what else I can say to this...
And I'm truly sorry about your sister. I'm still wishing her luck and to get better, though..
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ugh. sorry for not replying. been busy. i have to learn everything about the skull XD the f'in human skull. god. I am going into science, and i am already hating it. Well i hope it will pay off. I am glad your dad is coming home, or is home? Thanks for the niki help. it is killing me not knowing. My friend wrote me a song for her. I am going to play it for her. I know the guy in the band, and he posted it. It's called Grey. It's really good. I hope she likes it. I just don't know what will happen to me if she rejects me. I will become hallow, like a tree, my soul will fall apart. I will lose my humanity. >< i wish this love thing was easier. And thanks for your example. But me and her. I think we would hit it off, and we would stay friends, even after something big happens. If she cheats on my that be a different story. But anything else, we know the other would understand. We understand each other. We are completely different, but i am smitten with someone who thinks differently than me. Why? I guess we'll never understand the heart. Well how are you. School for me. Well i need to buckle down. Tomorrow I am dedicating it to all of school.
g2g
~Ash
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I'm so so sorry for not replying earlier. Been more on my other account than this one. Again, sorry.
And I'm jumping around a bit in this reply.
I think I might know the song you're talking about. If so, I absolutely love it, it's a pretty song.
If it's not what I'm thinking, then I have no clue. o__o;; But if it is, she might like it.
And I'm sure the subjects will get a bit more interesting as you get more into and do different things.
And No problem. I love trying to help others, to give them advice and do the best I can, even if it's not a whole lot or anything.
I know what you're thinking on the love thing. It should be easier, but it just isn't unfortunately. People are complicated.
And I'm sorry if she rejects you...I wouldn't understand why she would, though. You're an amazing guy. You're funny, and nice, and (-already did this rant, not sure if you would want me to repeat this to you again, but will anyway!!!-) you're sweet. You care about others, especially the ones you love. There is no reason for her not to like you. I don't get why you're so worried and full of doubt on this. You're a smart person. You're a great friend. And look at what you're doing to try to get her. Most guys wouldn't try so hard like you have. It shows that you're committed and you care about her. Most guys would be like 'Want to go out with me?' If it's a no, they move on quickly. If a yes, sometimes they'll stay with them, sometimes they'll break up quickly, or just plain cheat on the girl. You're not the type of guy to do that. And I'm sure she knows that, too. You're a wonderful person. I can't get my mind to wrap around why you're so worried about this! I mean, yes, I know, if she rejects you, it'll be hard because you love her so much, but you can't let that get you down. Sometimes you just have to wait. Sometimes the person doesn't know who or what they want. Hopefully soon, it'll click in her mind that she loves you too and wants to be with you. You just have to stay positive, keep in close touch with her, and give her some time.
I'm fine. A lot less worries and troubles than you have right now. School's a pain. Have to go catch up on work and study because I was out for 4/5 days, so yeah.
Ttyl
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thank you. i really needed that 
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Saw your facebook status earlier.
You're in a relationship now? O:
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was...lol. i was in it with Brittney Snyder. Her mother called me ugly and it was the end of that. so yeah. And i realized how much i am like the character of House. I am Gregory House!? It's scary. But people say I am not. But in relationships i am. It sucks. ugh.
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=/
Personally I don't give a fuck what someone else would think. As long as the person I'm dating likes me for me, and sees the beauty inside, no one else's opinion matters -_-
=/
And I don't see anything wrong House! D: Fuck. If I was old enough and really knew him...(and if his character was real, of course.)
But the actor's British and I love his accent D:
Sorry xD
But anyways
Gregory House is awesome. I dunno what you're talking about.
I can't really make any comment on relationships, especially yours because I don't know what kind of girls you've dated and all that crap so yeah. -shrug- ._.
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thanks for the love, but i've dated no girls. really dated. sorry not typing a lot. i got a fake nail on my pinky and middle finger for my costume. idk. it was cool lolXD
also thanks about the house thing. i like house dammit! lol X) but for your knowledge i walked with a cane and did that before i even watched the show 
Well i'll type more when i get it off tomorrow but i am thinking about getting one for good on my left thumb? Idk i like long nails. i like to be different than other males. lol
night. hope you had a happy halloween.
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It's fine. No need to apology for not typing a lot. You still get your point across
What was your costume? lol.
House is awesome as hell O:
And nice xD I think so anyways.
And I'm not going to make any input on that. 1. It's not my body to do things to-so if you want to and if you can, then go ahead. 2. My opinion is completely different from yours or anyone else's. And as long as you're happy with it or whatever, then my opinion shouldn't matter too much. 3. Crap. I forgot my third reason. I blame staying up too late every night. xD
But anyways
Yeah
If you want to, go ahead.
My only thing would be - don't make it ridiculous like some girls with their fake nails. Personally, I don't like fake nails (on anyone for the matter unless it's for, like, halloween or something). I just think they look (and this is more for girls because I haven't really seen a guy with them) trashy on people. Especially the ones that are crazy desgins/colors and are, like, 10 feet long (I'm exgarrating-sorta. The very long ones are just terrible! Personally, I think only hookers should get them ((the longer ones, to clarify)) but even then it's a little much =/)
I mean, it's fine on some people, some people can make it work/pull it off. But when everyone has the fake nails, it's just. No. Ew. No.
-trying to stop from ranting-
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lol. i decided to keep my long middle finger nail. I read in some japanese culture that a long middle finger nail represented intelligence. And I want people(even though they don't know that). That i am intelligent. Well I just posted my new poem. I hope you enjoy it. g2g. i think i'll sleep some more XD it's only 8:49. I woke up to write this. so it's hot and fresh 
ttyl and you can rant sometimes lol
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I try not to though lol.
And that's really interesting. I never knew that before : D (you learn something new every day! -oh that was bad...-)
And you are really smart, so it does suit you
And you should get some more sleep. You're in college. You need the rest
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did you read my new poem? I try to put things new. But that was a true dream. Sooo yeah. Tomorrow I get my middle finger back on. It fell off. It didn't hurt, I just do a lot of stuff which made it wear off. So I took off the rest, and now I get my new one tomorrow. I'm excited
~Ash
and read my poem
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Yes I did read it. It's really interesting. I enjoyed it.
I'm sure the dream was interesting too o.o
Yay for getting a new..middle finger? I'm assuming you mean the nail?
I cant really complain about English this year. I have Birkmire and we haven't done too much...
That sucks you have a bitch for a teacher this year D:
fghd
How many months do you have off?! D:
I don't hate you, though. Just the fact you have a long break >_>
And of course ^^ Friends support friends, don't they? And you are intelligent. Which is why if you ever disagree with that, I will go on a rant again (as long as I'm not too tired when I read the message)
Anyways it's late. I have to get up and go to party for tomorrow. I need some sleep. Been stressed lately. =/
I'll talk to you later~
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Thank you. You always make me feel better
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I try to keep my friends in happy spirits
It was a good poem O: And true, too. ^^ Or at least in my opinion it's true....
I rarely have criticism. And if I do, it's not useful/creative criticism. It's usually straight to the point with a few rambles here and there maybe.
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you do
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Uhhhh....I dunno what to request...ummm...I dunno! D: -doesn't particularly like to make any sort of decisions-
Umm...One...based on the song...um...Run Away - Casada? [link]
Because I can't really think of anything else to give you.... .__.;
Anyways
Well I'm glad I'm able to help you. Though it's a bit hard through the computer.
Stay positive! : D
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what do think of my new poem to the new great grandchild Mason.
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I think it's really great. : )
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It didn't save it in my favorites? =/
I'll try again on my other account then.
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i always post the best of my work on my protfile. not my best, but newest. just a general fact u could know.
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Did the fave work this time?
And I believe that.
And personally, I think, or at least from what I'm able to tell from, all your work is good. I personally like it all. : )
My things on the other hand, aren't that great >_>
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don't say that. i love ur pictures. i never read ur poetry. or if i did. i don't remember. i am going to look right now if u posted. i am upset. i couldn't deliver the poem today. no one in my house was going. sooo i ended up staying home. and it was an hours drive...ugh. now i have to type up an essay. ttyl.
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Sorry for the delay. Been having friend/personal problems as of late.
Anyways
Thanks, but I'm definitely not pro at it. I'm still very bad and amateur-like. I'm not that good with art =/
But still, thank you.
And that sucks D: Maybe some other time you can?
Good luck with the essay, too.
Also, Merry Christmas (eve) and Happy New Year if I don't reply in time!
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Thank you a lot for the 
Have a nice day
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