BANDlTO [2019-08-24 06:13:01 +0000 UTC]

man i just l o v e looking at tumblrina trolls who pretend they use "fae/faer" all that shit

i hate myself

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devilsuitz [2019-07-23 07:43:38 +0000 UTC]

I nutted looking at your account 😳 

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SlideSwitched [2018-07-20 08:17:23 +0000 UTC]

uwu cisphobe

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titpaw [2018-05-24 22:33:39 +0000 UTC]

can i eat ur ass

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Sparklecat16 [2018-02-19 23:52:22 +0000 UTC]

...

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DandyBandi [2018-02-16 23:24:42 +0000 UTC]

this isn't even funny imao

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nekomomoiro [2018-01-06 04:10:09 +0000 UTC]

i love you bless you bye 

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thePositiveSphinx [2017-12-27 15:30:44 +0000 UTC]

am i dead yet.

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3729234732y74 [2017-11-17 08:03:36 +0000 UTC]

im an evil sjw who does cisphobic thoughtcrimes and i could tell they were joking why cant yall

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Spongebob-Killer [2017-10-31 19:34:35 +0000 UTC]

POOPY UR DIAPEY

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OpaIescent [2017-09-06 22:42:18 +0000 UTC]

what the fuck

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H1EROGLYPH [2017-07-21 13:05:43 +0000 UTC]

Lmao @ people who (still) take this account seriously

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LunarLemming [2017-07-20 08:32:46 +0000 UTC]

nice, another fail troll

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kappaprince [2017-07-19 20:02:45 +0000 UTC]

this account is inactive
rest in pepperoni

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Demencias-Memes [2017-07-18 19:49:49 +0000 UTC]

Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it's ♪♫ beautiful ♫♪.

In the year negative a billion, Japan might not have been here. In the year negative forty thousand, it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some icebergs melted, it became an island, and now there's lots of ♫ trees ♫. Because it's warmer.

So now there's people on the island; they're basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls.

Ding dong, it's the outside world, and they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and ♪ crazy rice farms ♪. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, then you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survvvvive. So that makes you king.

Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread all across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here (Hi), here (Chikushi), here (Izumo), here (Kibi), here (Yamato), here (Koshi), and here (Kenu). But this one (Yamato) was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly superperson, or emperor for short.

Knock knock, get the door, it's religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion 🎺🎺🎺 (Buddhism) from Baekje.
"Please try this religion," he said.
"No," said everybody.
"Try iiiiit," he said.
"no," said everybody again, quieter this time.
And so the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it.

Then, the government was taken over by another clique (Taika). And they made some reforms , like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China's government, which is a government that governs more.
"Hi China," they said.
"Hi dipshit (wa, dwarf)," said China.
"Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?" said Japan.
"Like what?" said China.
♫♪"How about sunrise laaand?"♪♫ said Japan.
And they stole China's alphabet and wrote a book. About themselves! And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves.

Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while, right here (Kyoto, Heian Palace). And they conquered the north finally, get that squared away.

A rich hipster named Kūkai is bored with modern Buddhism and visits China, learns a better version which is more ♫♪ spiritual ♪♫, comes back, reinvents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be ♫♪ great ♪♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dreamworld of art that they really didn't give a shit about running the country.

So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit, from criminals? ♫♪ Hire a samurai. ♪♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful, more powerful than the government. So they made their own military government, right here. They let the emperor still be emperor, but the shogun was actually in control.

Breaking news, the Mongols have invaded China.
"W̛e҉'ve i͟nv̕aded ̵Chi͠na̸," said the Mongols, "Pl͘e̶a̷se̵ ͝res͢p̛ȩc̷t u͢s҉,͜ or͜ el̕se w͞e ͟m̛igh͟t ͠i͝nvade͡ ̕y͜o̕u̕ ͡a͡s̕ ̡well̀.̢"
"Okay," said Japan.
So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornadotyphoon. But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornadotyphoon.

Then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moves to Kyoto, and makes a new shogunate. And the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that's fine.

♫♪ Now there's more art. ♪♫
Like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers.

It's time for who's going to be the next shogun. Usually it's the shogun's kid, but the shogun doesn't have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay. But then the shogun has a kid. So now who's it gonna be? Vote now on your phones. And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn't care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it's anybody's game.

Knock knock, it's Europe. No, they're not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks, and guns, and ♫♪ Jesus ♪♫. So that's cool. But everyone's still fighting each other for control. Now with guns! And wouldn't it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them? This clan (Imagawa) is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan (Oda) which is in the way. Surprise, smaller clan wins! And the leader of that clan (Oda Nobunaga) steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. And it goes very well.

He's about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him, then someone else who works for him (Toyotomi Hideyoshi) kills them, and that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody's swords. And he made some rules.
"Ąnd͟ n͟ow I'̛m̶ goińg̡ to ͘inva͞d̨e ͝Kor͟e͡a,̵ an͝d͢ ̶the̴n h͜op̷ef̕ull͏y ̵Chin͢a̛," he said, and failed, and also died.
But before he died, he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he's old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said yeah right, it's not gonna be this kid, it's gonna be one of us. 'Cause we're grownups. And it's probably gonna be this guy (Tokugawa Ieyasu) who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others.

A lot of people support him, but a lot of people (Ishida Mitsunari) support not supporting him. They have a fight, and he wins. And starts a new government, right here. ♫♪ Edo ♫♪ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don't get confused, this (Tokugawa family) is the new government. And they are very strict, so strict they close the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, if they wanna buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (Dejima).

Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published. There was poetry (haiku), plays (kabuki), sexytimes, puppet shows (bunraku), and Dutch studies. People started to study European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We're talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity.

Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow do-
*impending doom music*
Knock knock. It's the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats.
"O͜pe͡ņ,̨ t͡he͏ ͘c̷o̷ưntry. ͠S̛t͜o̡p̛,̵ ҉ha͠v̀in͜g̷ i͝t̀ ͝be̴ ́clo͞sed.̢" said the United States.
*music ends*
There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan anytime they want.

Chōshu and Satsuma hated this. "That sucks!" they said. "This sucks!!!"
And with almost very little outside help, (from Britain) they overthrew the shogunate. And somehow made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed eastern capital (Tokyo). They made a new government, which was a lot more Western. And they made a new constitution, which was.. pretty Western. And a military that was... pretty Western (large).

And do you know what else is Western? That's right, it's conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquer Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further (Liaodong Peninsula).
And Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, "Stop no you can't do that we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water." And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shitton of soldiers. Then, when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuckton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade.
And Japan says, "Can you maybe chill?"
And Russia says, "How 'bout maybe you chill?"

Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You'll never guess who's also kind of scared of Russia. Great Britain! So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, but just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop.

♫♪ It's time for World War I ♪♫
The world is about to have a war. Because it's the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m̵͡͝͝o͏̨̨̢͢o͏͏̵̧̕ơ̢̢͜͜o͠͏͢ó͘o̶̢̧ó̷͝͠o͝͡o̧͘r̨̢̕ȩ̸ and the next thing on their list is this part of China (Qingdao) and lots of tiny islands.

All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, who was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France's ass because France was friends with Russia who was getting ready to kick Austria's ass because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia's ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria's ass. Err, actually, he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan. So you know what that means, duhhh.

♫♪ Japan should take the islands. ♪♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they sort of called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know, and then they did it! And they also helped Britain here and there with some errands and stuff. *bell rings*

Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan, you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table (Paris Peace Conference), with the big dudes, where they decided who owns what. And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. And you also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫♪ the League of Nations ♪♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world.

The Great Depression is bad, and Japan's economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria. And the League of Nations is like ♪"No don't do that if you're in the League of Nations you're not supposed to try to take over the world."♪
And Japan said, ♫♪ How bout I do, anyway? ♪♫ And Japan invaded more and more and more of China, and was planning to invade the entire East.

You've got mail.
It's from Germany, the new leader of Germany, he has a cool mustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common.

♫♪ It's time for World War II ♪♫
Germany is invading the neighbors, then they invade the neighbors' neighbors, then, the neighbor's neighbors' neighbors, who happen to be Britain, said "Holy shiiit" and the United States started helping Britain because they are ♫♪ good friends ♪♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫♪" Their friends and our friends are not friends. Plus they're planning on invaaading the entire ocean."♪♫

The United States is also working on a large, very huge bomb. Bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case (Germany). But they still haven't joined the war, war looks bad on TV, and the United States is really starting to care about their image.

But then Japan spits on them, in Hawai'i, and challenges them to war. And they say yes! And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. And they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany. And they also chase Japan back into Japan. And they haven't used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works, so they drop it on Japan.


They actually drop two.













(You win.)
The United States installed a new government, inspired by the United States government, with just the right ingredients for a ♫♪ post-war economic miracle ♪♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. But then the miracle wears off, but everything's still pretty cool I guess. ♪♫ Bye. ♫♪

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kiIled [2017-07-15 03:26:50 +0000 UTC]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFSjPn…

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burgerslut [2017-07-09 02:22:46 +0000 UTC]

pee your pants

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PIASTlC-BEACH [2017-07-07 04:42:38 +0000 UTC]

After this comment I will leave this page be to die or something: 

I'm 100% sure Aqua is an "anti SJW" disguised as your stereotypical "SJW UwU" to make the LGBTQA+ community look even worse than it already does

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axris [2017-07-07 02:34:40 +0000 UTC]

guess it was a troll after all

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MrC0ZM0S [2017-07-06 08:26:12 +0000 UTC]

//slides in

hey ya! How you doing

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Foxgroovetheghost [2017-07-03 19:38:48 +0000 UTC]

akk.li/pics/anne.jpg

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rainiing [2017-06-28 00:42:25 +0000 UTC]

can i have a fuckin uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh borger

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PIASTlC-BEACH [2017-06-25 20:53:32 +0000 UTC]

LGBT

L emme 
G et uhhhhhh... 
B oneless pizza wit a 
T wo litre of coke

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PIASTlC-BEACH [2017-06-24 20:06:18 +0000 UTC]

Yo bitch on me but you can never do nothing
Cause yo momma raised a pussy
Everytime I walk to the drop top, can't help but
Close my eyes cause my whip so glossy
God damn bitch, I don't smoke no gas
I don't pop no Xans hella cake
I just need that ass don't worry bout no mans
Look at me, look at he, you don't wanna fuck with we
Hit the streets roll on me, you gon end up in the sea

7: 30 wake up skrt up in the lobby then proceed to flee
All my people riding in the back seat on a killing spree
Wait, who that be? ready on the count of 3
Squeeze that G, leave that scene
Bouncin like the trampoline

Getting bread earn income (man)
Spend it on this Balmain
Working all night I might run into the Bat (man)
I don't see no such thing as a motherfucking bro mane
You ain't fucking slick if you think you in my team mane

We gon' pull up on the kids with a flat brim cap and the tats get the brick
And I don't give a fuck hit em with the damn dicks
Man, hold up, pause, now they red like Santa Claus
I'm a G bet there's something wrong with me
All these mans on the ground, lookin like the dead ass sea
Yeah, pull up on me, sip a high-t, till I OD
I don't really give a fuck no more b
Skrrt skrrt onamonapee, bitch Grand Prix
Pull up on a fuckin enemy, 3rd degree
Now I'm a go right back to the crib (to the crib bitch)
And leave the fuckin country with the brick (loudpack)

I'd call the cops on myself if I can, (if I can)
This shit too crazy need the fuckin ambulance (ambulance)
Don't wear no jackets, I just wear that metal vest (skrrt skrrt)
Got all this money but these bitches unimpressed (yea, yea, yea)

Getting bread earn income (man)
Spend it on this Balmain
Working all night I might run into the Bat (man)
I don't see no such thing as a motherfucking bro mane
You ain't fucking slick if you think you in my team mane

7: 30 wake up skrt up in the lobby then proceed to flee
All my people riding in the back seat on a killing spree
Wait, who that be? ready on the count of 3
Squeeze that G, leave that scene
Bouncin like the trampoline
Yeah

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FluffyKyubey42 [2017-06-24 16:09:17 +0000 UTC]

[Intro]
Look, if you had mom's spaghetti
Would you capture it, or just let it slip?
Yo

[Verse 1]
His palm's spaghetti, knees weak, arm's spaghetti
There's vomit on his sweater spaghetti: mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti to drop bombs
But he keeps on spaghetti what he wrote down
The whole crowd goes spaghetti
He opens his mouth, but spaghetti won't come out
He's choking, how? Everybody's joking, now
Spaghetti's run out, time's up, over - Blaow!
Snap back to spaghetti, oh! - there goes spaghetti
Oh! - there goes spaghetti - Blaow!
He's so mad, but he won't give up spaghetti
No, he won't have it
He knows he keeps on forgetting that
Mom's spaghetti's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stagnant, he knows
When he goes back to his mom's spaghetti, that's when it's
Back to the lab again, yo
This whole spaghetti
Better go capture spaghetti and hope it don't pass him

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in ya mom's spaghetti
It's ready
You better never let it go (go)
You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow
Cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime, yo
(You better)
You better lose yourself in ya mom's spaghetti
It's ready
You better never let it go (go)
You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow
Cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime, yo
(You better)

[Verse 2]
The soul's escaping through this hole that is gaping
Mom's spaghetti's mine for the taking
Make me spaghetti as we move toward a new world order
A normal sweater is boring, but mom's spaghetti is close to post-mortem
It only grows harder, spaghetti grows hotter
He vomits all over. Spaghetti's all on him
Coast to coast shows, he blows his own daughter
He only grows harder, homie grows hotter
He goes home and barely knows his own mom's spaghetti
There's vomit on his mom's spaghetti
These hoes don't want him no more, he's cold spaghetti
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
Man, he knows his palms are sweaty, oh!
He's calm, and ready, oh! - It unfolds
I suppose it's old spaghetti, chewed up and spit out
He's choking, now

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in ya mom's spaghetti
It's ready
You better never let it go (go)
You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow
Cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime, yo
(You better)
You better lose yourself in ya mom's spaghetti
It's ready
You better never let it go (go)
You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow
Cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime, yo
(You better)

[Verse 3]
No more games, Imma change what you call spaghetti
Tear this motherfucking roof off like two mom's spaghettis
I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed
Spaghetti chewed up and spit out and there's vomit on his sweater
But I kept chewin' and stepped right in the next cypher
Hold your nose cause here goes the damn diaper
All the vomit inside amplified by the fact
That I keep on forgetting to make spaghetti
And provide the right type of spaghetti for my family
Cause man, these God-damn food stamps don't buy spaghetti
And there's no movie, there's no mom's spaghetti. This is my life
And these palms are so sweaty, and I'm so hard
My seed's escaping through this hole that is gaping
Caught up with being a father and a prima donna
Baby vomit on his sweater already: mom's spaghetti
He's too nervous - Blaow! Another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point I'm like a mom
I've got to formulate spaghetti or end up in jail or shot
Spaghetti is my only motherfucking option, vomit's not
Mom, I love you, but this vomit's got to go
Oh! Oh! Da da dum-da-dum, sa da dum-da-dum
So here I go, it's my shot
This may be the only mom's spaghetti that I got

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in ya mom's spaghetti
It's ready
You better never let it go (go)
You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow
Cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime, yo
(You better)
You better lose yourself in ya mom's spaghetti
It's ready
You better never let it go (go)
You only get one spaghetti, do not miss your chance to blow
Cause spaghetti comes once in a lifetime, yo
(You better)

[Outro]
(Da dum)
Mom's spaghetti can do anything, man

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PIASTlC-BEACH [2017-06-20 22:11:18 +0000 UTC]

ay Aqua 

spell cisgender 

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kappaprince [2017-06-19 05:31:19 +0000 UTC]

yo aqua, i dare you to talk to this guy ; )
retrospriteresources.deviantar…

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kappaprince [2017-06-19 05:27:10 +0000 UTC]

So I talked with the priest at the local church about why God won't make Winry real and he gave me the dumbest bullshit I've ever heard. For God's sakes, it took me nearly 30 minutes to walk to the church and he didn't even tell me how to get God to answer my prayers. Literally all he did was blab about how I need to overcome the deadly sin of Lust and made me put away my 3DS while talking to him. Ignoring the fact that it was near impossible to see the screen until I was got inside the church. And to top it all off, as much of an idiot as I was, I decided to stop at some pizza restaurant near the church and when it came time for me to pay for the pizza, I realized that I forgot my wallet. I was told that I had to bring the money for the pizza there within five hours if I wanted to be let off the "hook". So I had no choice but to walk back to my house, back to the pizza restaurant and then back to my house again because my dad wouldn't be back within 5 hours. But the worst part was, my 3DS died right in the middle of my second trip there, so I had to walk all the way back to my apartment to charge it before heading out again. Then by the time it was all over, I decided to eat another two slices of pizza before heading back home, only to realize that I only had three dollars left in my wallet after paying for the first two slices. So I had to make a trip once again and I was EXHAUSTED. And the very worst part is, I tried to switch out Mario vs. Donkey 2: March of the Minis for Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story while on my way back to get the money for the second time after I left the pizza restaurant and I accidentally dropped it and it fell down a sewer cover. I then took out my pocket knife and started undoing the screws so that I could get it back, but some stupid police officer stopped me and wouldn't even get the game himself because "Public safety is more important than a save file I spent days on!" This is all that stupid priest's fault! Why couldn't he have just told me how to make Winry real?! Isn't God supposed to grant miracles?! That's why I want to take this stupid fraud to court.

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TyrantTooner [2017-06-19 02:36:24 +0000 UTC]

Psst
Hey you
Yeah you





















































































SPELL TWO GEN🅱️ERS NI🅱️🅱️A

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enveIopes [2017-06-19 02:21:03 +0000 UTC]

what did you just friggen say to me? your lucky im not next to you, cuz i would beat you the FRICK UP! poopface, my big brother lifts 30lbs weigts, and hes going to the armie soon, so if u wanna come to my house, go ahead. kid... u really taught u could kill me in minecraft? ill kill u in pvp anyday. u vs me, u can use diamond armour and i can use iron armour, and i will STILL win u!

oh and by the way, you fridging butthead, i have 3 minecraft gfs, and we have hot cybar sex everyday, while u have smex with a pig! did i say pig, i meant your friggen mommy, hahaha bye loser, nothing personnel

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

enveIopes [2017-06-19 02:20:57 +0000 UTC]

what did you just friggen say to me? your lucky im not next to you, cuz i would beat you the FRICK UP! poopface, my big brother lifts 30lbs weigts, and hes going to the armie soon, so if u wanna come to my house, go ahead. kid... u really taught u could kill me in minecraft? ill kill u in pvp anyday. u vs me, u can use diamond armour and i can use iron armour, and i will STILL win u!

oh and by the way, you fridging butthead, i have 3 minecraft gfs, and we have hot cybar sex everyday, while u have smex with a pig! did i say pig, i meant your friggen mommy, hahaha bye loser, nothing personnel

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

enveIopes [2017-06-19 02:20:50 +0000 UTC]

what did you just friggen say to me? your lucky im not next to you, cuz i would beat you the FRICK UP! poopface, my big brother lifts 30lbs weigts, and hes going to the armie soon, so if u wanna come to my house, go ahead. kid... u really taught u could kill me in minecraft? ill kill u in pvp anyday. u vs me, u can use diamond armour and i can use iron armour, and i will STILL win u!

oh and by the way, you fridging butthead, i have 3 minecraft gfs, and we have hot cybar sex everyday, while u have smex with a pig! did i say pig, i meant your friggen mommy, hahaha bye loser, nothing personnel

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

enveIopes [2017-06-19 02:12:53 +0000 UTC]

two genders

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