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[Establishing shot of X-class starship in orbit of planet; J-class ship comes along side during monologue. ARIAL's voice over]:

Admiral's log, stardate 9886.3. J-class starship 1967 now returning from special assignment on Beta-Epsilon Five. Captain and first officer now beaming aboard for personal oral report.

[Interior X-class transporter room with ARIAL at the controls. CAROLYN and BRANDY materialize on individual pads]

CAROLYN [after stepping off pad]:

Arial.

ARIAL [after coming around from behind console to greet them]: Hi Carolyn. Hi Brandy.

BRANDY [coming up behind CAROLYN]:

Hi Arial. How's everything?

ARIAL:

Oh, pretty good. How are you guys?

CAROLYN:

Fantastic. And I couldn't wait to get back to tell you the good news.

ARIAL:

Great. Well, I've asked John to join us. I hope you don't mind.

BRANDY [after CAROLYN gestures NP]:

No, that's great. We're anxious to get caught up on the sphere.

ARIAL [after walking briskly toward sliding door]:

I thought as much. Hungry? Thirsty? Both? Neither?

[interior shot of hallway as CAROLYN and BRANDY follow ARIAL down hallways. CAROLYN]:

You might twist our arms if you try really hard.

[interior shot of briefing room where JOHN stands when door slides open. JOHN]:

Well look what the tide washed in.

CAROLYN [after she enters behind ARIAL]:

Hi John.

BRANDY [after she enters behind CAROLYN]:

Hi John.

JOHN:

Hi you guys.

ARIAL [to CAROLYN and BRANDY]:

Well, what can we get you?

CAROLYN:

Whatever you're having is fine.

BRANDY:

Same.

CAROLYN [when no one says anything]:

So how's things going with the sphere?

JOHN [after gesturing]:

We're getting there; slowly but surely we're making progress.

BRANDY [after ARIAL sets a glass each in front of CAROLYN and BRANDY]:

So have you discovered who sent it out yet?

ARIAL [after she and JOHN dismiss this]:

No, it's going to be a while before that happens. The aliens want to take it slow, so we're going to have to wait them out.

CAROLYN [after she pulls on her drink and digests this]:

How about the colonists? They been behaving themselves?

JOHN [after ARIAL is slow to speak up, dragging on her drink as well]:

Yeah, I think you put the fear of God in them; they've been minding their manners ever since we delivered another pressure dome to them.

BRANDY [after another awkward pause]:

Great. [she takes another sip of her drink]

CAROLYN:

Well everything's all taken care of on Beta-Epsilon Five; got them all squared away.

ARIAL [after smiling widely]:

Great. I knew you would.

BRANDY [after exchanging eye signals with CAROLYN]:

So John. Ready to come back to our crew?

JOHN:

Nah, I think I'll hang here a little while longer. Check up on the sphere.

CAROLYN [after blinking]:

O.K.

BRANDY [after another sip, longer this time]:

So how have you two been getting along?

ARIAL [after smiling and exchanging glances with JOHN]:

Pretty well. We've been feeling each other out, seeing how the other likes to do things. I'd have to rate John rather highly, now that you mention it, although technically that's not official for another few weeks.

JOHN [after nodding]:

That's nice to know.

CAROLYN [after taking a long last drag on her drink]:

Yup.

BRANDY [to CAROLYN]:

Ready for another one?

CAROLYN [after standing]:

Yeah. What about you?

BRANDY [after following CAROLYN to replicator]:

Make mine a double this time.

CAROLYN:

Sounds good to me.

[ARIAL and JOHN exchange looks again at that]

[dissolve to a few hours later]

CAROLYN:

So how we doing Brandy?

BRANDY:

Real good boss.

CAROLYN:

How's the situation look?

BRANDY:

Dire as always, but I know you'll come through for us in the end.

CAROLYN:

How can you be sure?

BRANDY:

Because you always do.

CAROLYN:

I think something's up with Arial though.

BRANDY:

Why do you think that?

CAROLYN:

She doesn't seem to be saying very much.

BRANDY:

I kind of noticed that too.

ARIAL [after drawing up]:

I just thought you guys would be ready to kick back. You know, take it easy; what we talked about before you got involved in your last assignment.

CAROLYN:

Aren't you interested at all in the details of what happened?

ARIAL [after gesturing]:

I read through all your Captain's logs. You told me it went well. What more is there?

JOHN [intervening]:

Carolyn, I think Arial is concerned she hasn't created a monster in you.

CAROLYN [after collapsing back into her seat]:

Oh.

BRANDY:

I see.

CAROLYN:

Well if there's nothing more that's pressing, I guess we can hang around here for a while. Take it easy. Authorize shore leave and all that.

ARIAL:

Why not?

[interior shot CAROLYN & BRANDY's X-class quarters. CAROLYN's voice over as camera pans]:

Captain's log, supplemental. Shore leave for all off duty personnel is under way. Am hanging here on X-class starship while Admiral Niko evaluates me for possibly becoming an excitement junkie. Hector still has the conn back on J-class starship as First Officer Brandy is still with me. Will advise when orders or the situation changes. Captain out.

[BRANDY looks over at her]

CAROLYN:

Feel like going down to the gym with me?

BRANDY:

Sure.

[interior darkened corridor two shot; no conversation. CAROLYN walking slightly ahead of BRANDY]

[interior turbolift. CAROLYN]:

Gym.

BRANDY [says nothing as turbolift begins to move]

CAROLYN:

So do you think I'm an excitement junkie?

BRANDY [after gesturing]:

It's not just you.

[interior corridor after turbolift's doors have opened. BRANDY]:

It's an easy trap that any captain can fall into, especially the successful ones.

CAROLYN:

Uh-huh.

[interior gym shot; wide then cut to two shot of CAROLYN and BRANDY appraising each other, circling. CAROLYN]: You ready?

BRANDY:

Uh-huh.

[fast cuts to show CAROLYN and BRANDY wrestling. After being pinned and grunting BRANDY]:

You do like to win though.

CAROLYN:

Well who doesn't?

BRANDY [after being pinned again]:

You like to win a lot.

CAROLYN:

Uh-huh.

BRANDY [after being pinned yet again]:

You like to win an awful lot.

CAROLYN:

So what are you implying here?

BRANDY [after she rises from mat]:

I'm not implying anything; I'm simply making an observation.

CAROLYN:

That I like to win. That I have some unhealthy obsession with winning.

BRANDY [after shrugging]:

You said it; I didn't.

CAROLYN:

You like to be pinned.

BRANDY [smiling after dismissing this]:

No I don't.

CAROLYN:

I see what's going on here. You get what you want, and I'm the bad guy. [pantomiming red alert sound and rhythm]:

Guilt complex. Guilt complex.

BRANDY:

You're delusional.

CAROLYN:

Oh really?

[fast cuts again to show CAROLYN and BRANDY wrestling]

[dissolve to show passage of time; resolution to overhead two shot of CAROLYN and BRANDY both lying face up on the mat, both panting]

BRANDY:

Ready for a break?

CAROLYN:

No, now I'm ready for Arial.

BRANDY:

She'd kick your rear end. As tired as you are now.

CAROLYN [after panting some more]:

We'd see. I'm just getting warmed up.

BRANDY [after turning over to meet CAROLYN's level gaze]:

How about a shower?

CAROLYN [after pregnant pause]:

Yeah. O.K.

[Hard cut to tight two-shot of CAROLYN and BRANDY in the shower together, alternately kissing and soaping each other up; segues to both in bed, rolling around under the covers, continuing kissing, et cetera]

CAROLYN [after lying back, breaking from BRANDY and sighing]: Boy was that good.

BRANDY [with her eyes still closed, lying back also]:

Can say that again.

CAROLYN [after reflective moment]:

Glad we don't have to be on duty any time soon.

BRANDY [still with eyes closed]:

Yeah. Thank God for that.

CAROLYN [after considerable pause]:

Do you really think I'm an excitement junkie?

BRANDY [after turning over to face her, trying to obfuscate]: Carolyn.

CAROLYN [after resisting her advance]:

No. Don't touch me. Answer the question.

BRANDY [after closing her eyes again and opening them]: Sometimes I thought you were getting carried away, to some extent. I don't know as I'd call you a 'junkie.'

CAROLYN [confessing]:

It's just such a rush; I can't help it. When I feel like I've accomplished something tangible and I just want to do it again and again, over and over.

BRANDY [confessing back]:

I know. I feel the same thing, vicariously. And I feel proud to be part of our crew, to have helped you accomplish something worthwhile.

CAROLYN [having an epiphany]:

Arial's right though. In the wrong hands it could be used for, or as a cover for, nefarious activities.

BRANDY:

In the wrong hands. But for us though, as long as we're aware of the danger and guard against it. As we would groupthink. I think we'll be all right.

CAROLYN:

Yeah. I agree. So the best thing to do here is hang here until Arial says otherwise and just chill.

BRANDY [after blinking]:

But there's no reason why we can't help, is there?

CAROLYN [after blinking herself]:

No. Let's go--see what John's up to.

[Hard cut to both of them dressed in their usual uniforms converging on JOHN at his work station]

JOHN [after glancing at both]:

Ladies.

BRANDY [after sitting down in the work station next to him]:

Hi John.

CAROLYN [after sitting down on the other side]:

Hi John. How's everything going?

JOHN [after checking some instruments and readings]:

Just fine.

BRANDY:

Good. We're here to help.

CAROLYN:

Right.

JOHN [after drawing up and appraising both]:

O.K. Science Officer, here is what you can be doing-- [he demonstrates on BRANDY's work station]:

And Captain, you can monitor this over here. [shows CAROLYN]

BRANDY [without taking her eyes off the readings]:

All right.

CAROLYN:

O.K.

[dissolve to show passage of time]

BRANDY:

So this is what you do all day long John?

JOHN [looks sardonically at her but doesn't say anything]

[CAROLYN and BRANDY exchange glances but otherwise keep mum]

CAROLYN [after leaning back behind JOHN]:

(silently mouthing to BRANDY) There's got to be more to life than this.

BRANDY [who has leaned back also]:

(mouthing the same way to CAROLYN) I know.

CAROLYN [still leaning back]:

(fake screaming with no sound, eyes closed) This is so boring!

BRANDY [leaning back as well]:

(pulling on imaginary rope next to her head to simulate hanging herself) I KNOW! [sticking her tongue out and crossing her eyes]

JOHN [finally leaning back also]:

What are y'all doing?

[CAROLYN and BRANDY drop their chairs back simultaneously. CAROLYN and BRANDY at the same time]:

Nothing.

JOHN [returning his chair to normal position]:

Uh-huh.

CAROLYN [after regarding her instruments again]:

John, how long have you been at this position?

JOHN:

Some time. Why?

BRANDY:

Has it occurred to you John that uh maybe--

CAROLYN:

Maybe the sphere and/or the aliens are waiting for you to make the next move?

JOHN:

Arial said to go slow.

BRANDY:

John there's going slow and then there's--

CAROLYN:

This. I say we try a little (nudge), just to see what the sphere does and then--

BRANDY:

We wait.

CAROLYN [while they're waiting]:

Arial said.

JOHN [after a while]:

Yes. She did.

CAROLYN:

And if Arial said for you to jump off the roof on a high-gravity planet--

JOHN:

This involves considerably less personal risk.

CAROLYN:

But is she your commanding officer or am I?

JOHN:

You are. But you haven't been around. And you dumped me with her.

BRANDY:

Here we go, right? It all comes spilling out.

JOHN [after drawing up]:

Tell you ladies what. I'm going to eat now; what you do while I'm gone is your business. See y'all later.

[After he leaves, ARIAL bursts in]

CAROLYN:

Hi.

ARIAL:

Hi. Carolyn. Where's John?

CAROLYN:

He went to get something to eat.

ARIAL:

Well something's going on with the sphere.

BRANDY [after CAROLYN says nothing]:

We know. That's what we've been watching.

ARIAL [after considering CAROLYN and BRANDY]:

Might have known.

CAROLYN:

I'm sorry Arial--what was that?

ARIAL:

I said, I just got off the horn with Spacefleet Command. Seems we have a slight problem with Ursus Epsilon Three.

CAROLYN [after exchanging eye signals with BRANDY]:

Really.

ARIAL:

Yeah. Might be just the thing for a person with your--uh, touch, shall we say?.

BRANDY:

Care to give us any more details?

ARIAL:

Your Captain will explain after I've briefed her. In my cabin.

CAROLYN [aside to herself]:

So that's how it is. [After standing] Well, shall we then?

BRANDY [after ARIAL and CAROLYN leave]:

Well well well. She sure took her sweet time about it, but when push came to shove--

JOHN [after returning]:

What did I miss?

BRANDY:

I'll tell you all about it. Later.

[Hard cut to CAROLYN finishing dressing in ARIAL's cabin. CAROLYN (on intercom)]:

Brandy? Grab your stuff and meet me in the transporter room.

[Two shot of BRANDY with JOHN. BRANDY]:

On my way.

[Interior transporter room. CAROLYN enters with her bag. CAROLYN]:

Come on--change in plans. We're taking a shuttlecraft.

BRANDY [from behind transporter console]:

Not going back to the ship?

CAROLYN [after shaking her head]:

No. I changed my mind. Let's go.

BRANDY:

'K.

[Interior turbolift, two shot of CAROLYN & BRANDY. Eyes back and forth but no conversation.]

[Interior deserted shuttlecraft deck. Turbolift doors open to reveal two shot of C&B who both move out without hesitation toward nearest shuttlecraft.]

[CAROLYN accesses shuttlecraft while BRANDY looks on.]

[Hard cut to interior shuttlecraft; two shot of C&B in front two seats. CAROLYN pilots shuttle while BRANDY observes]

BRANDY [after a while]:

Where are we going?

CAROLYN [after some more button pushing and instrument reading]:

You'll see.

[Dissolve to show passage of time; shuttlecraft flying through starfield and fade back to interior shot behind both to show them facing large picture window with star cluster congregating in center of view; otherwise blackness.]

CAROLYN:

This is Federation shuttlecraft TC-118. Do you copy, Perseus Four?

BRANDY [after lifting hand to face]:

Oh no.

FEMALE VOICE [filtered]:

Perseus Four here, shuttlecraft TC-118. How can we help you?

CAROLYN:

Requesting landing clearance.

SAME FEMALE VOICE [filtered]:

Are we expecting you, TC-118?

CAROLYN:

Yes, this is Captain Carolyn Marks of Spacefleet Command. I have an appointment with Prime Minister Loomis later on today.

SAME FEMALE VOICE [filtered]:

Please hold on.

BRANDY:

A boundary dispute?

CAROLYN [aside]:

Shut up. I'll explain in a minute.

BRANDY [under her breath]:

Fuuuuuh. Why did you even bring me? You're not telling me anything and you act like this whole thing is the highest of state secrets.

CAROLYN [hissing to BRANDY]:

I said, SHUT UP!

BRANDY [rolling her eyes while twisting her mouth]

SAME FEMALE VOICE [filtered]:

Roger TC-118, proceed to landing pad twenty-two; you can land there.

CAROLYN [in normal tone]:

Thank you. [After she lands ship and turns radio off]:

It's not just a boundary dispute; it's also a trade dispute and an interplanetary incident. Arial said this whole thing has gone on long enough and everybody's sick of it. So I'm here to end it. As for what you're doing here, I thought you might want to help, but if you're going to be this way about it, just sit here with the ship until I'm done; then we can both leave.

BRANDY:

All right! Fine.

CAROLYN:

Fine.

BRANDY [after CAROLYN's gone, while playing with the computer]: 'Arial said, Arial said.' Freaking nonsense. Don't know what the problem is but--.

[Dissolve to show passage of time; a few hours later. Radio crackles] CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Brandy?

BRANDY:

Carolyn?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Yeah it's me. Are you alone?

BRANDY:

Yeah. Nobody's here. What's up?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

We have a slight problem. I need for you to get us clearance to leave, otherwise I can't do what I came here to do.

BRANDY:

I see. So what happens if I can't get us clearance?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Then I can't complete the mission. I have to abort it. But we should still be able to leave, one way or another.

BRANDY [after lowering her eyes]:

Hmm. I see. [she sighs, resigned] Well, what do I have to do?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Get up to Flight Command and either persuade whoever's in charge there to let us leave when I finish or, failing that, figure out a way to bypass the planet's security.

BRANDY:

Wait a minute. [after accessing onboard computer for map] I see it now. How soon are you going to be done?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Depends on you.

BRANDY:

O.K. I'll call you when I know what's what.

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

O.K. Talk to you then.

BRANDY:

K. Out. [continues to work on computer, flipping through screen, which reflects on her face in darkened cabin. After a while, she touches a place on the intercom to initiate a voice link]:

Captain. Are you there?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Yes, Science Officer?

BRANDY:

All set. Ready when you are.

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Sounds good. Be back in a flash.

BRANDY:

K. Standing by. [continues cycling through computer screens as she waits]

CAROLYN [after hastily entering shuttle and strapping herself into her seat]:

O.K. Let's get the you-know-what out of here.

BRANDY [after firing up the retros]:

Yes ma'am Captain sir. Exiting post haste.

[Exterior landing pad wide shot, showing shuttlecraft launching along with sirens wailing, red alerts signs lighting up and planet security in hot pursuit.]

[Interior two shot from behind] CAROLYN [after becoming visibly alarmed]:

Brandy.

BRANDY [remaining stoic]:

I see them.

[Detail of computer screen showing animated graphic flash and then: HIT ON MAIN REAR DEFLECTOR SCREEN]

CAROLYN:

Brandy, we're taking fire.

BRANDY:

I see that.

CAROLYN:

Well, what the hell is this?

BRANDY:

I don't know. [after sideways suspicious glance] What did you do?

CAROLYN:

I told you--I completed the mission.

BRANDY [after grimacing; eyes back on instruments in front of her]:

You didn't tell me anything!

[Same detail of computer graphic showing four pursuers in formation; lead ship fires and words flash: HIT ON MAIN REAR DEFLECTOR]

[Interior shuttlecraft two shot from behind; then tight one shot of CAROLYN] CAROLYN:

They're trying to knock out our engines.

BRANDY:

I see that.

CAROLYN:

Well?

BRANDY:

We'll be behind their larger moon before they can do any damage. Then we can warp out of here.

[Exterior wide shot of shuttle while being pursued. Ship makes extended right turn to sneak behind larger natural satellite.]

[Interior tight one shot of BRANDY] BRANDY [under her breath as she pilots ship into shadow behind moon]:

Too slow, suckers.

[Interior two shot from behind segues to POV on main screen showing squadron of similar planet security ships forming blockade stance.] CAROLYN:

Brandy!

BRANDY [grimacing as she whips the shuttle around]:

Uh-oh--can't go that way.

CAROLYN:

Try the other moon.

BRANDY:

I am.

CAROLYN:

Brandy, I thought you said you had this planned.

BRANDY:

I did--I just didn't anticipate this kind of a chase.

CAROLYN:

Now all of them are after us!

BRANDY:

I see that. All we need is a few seconds in the shadow of their moon; otherwise we have to outrun their planetary warp dampening aura.

[Exterior wide shot of shuttle now being pursued by initial P4 security squadron along with additional larger moon fighters. Again lead pursuer fires on rear of shuttle.]

[Same interior shuttle two shot rear. Alarms are ringing and warning lights are flashing.] BRANDY [over din]:

Sweet southern Jeasus--who did you kill?

CAROLYN [with eyes averted]:

None of your business.

BRANDY:

Obviously.

CAROLYN:

Just get us out of here.

BRANDY:

I'm trying.

[Exterior wide shot as shuttle passes around front of smaller moon, still being pursued.]

[Interior one shot of CAROLYN] CAROLYN:

Taking the long way?

[Interior one shot of BRANDY] BRANDY [after she shrugs]:

If the small moon's security forces were hanging around waiting for us, it'll take time for them to catch us this way, so maybe--

[Hard cut to interior of briefing room of X-class starship, where ARIAL, CAROLYN and BRANDY are all seated around a conference table. Wide establishing shot followed by individual one shots as each person talks.]

ARIAL:

So that's the way it is; you two can never go back to that planet, because of the outstanding warrants for both of you. Officially, I know nothing about it. Unofficially, great job.

BRANDY [after shrugging]:

Why would either of us ever go back there?

CAROLYN:

Exactly what I was going to say. So then, it worked? He was the logjam?

ARIAL [after nodding]:

Yes. The new guy just wants to make friends--go along to get along--so you did precisely what needed to be done.

CAROLYN:

And Ursus Epsilon Three? That got resolved also?

ARIAL:

It did. As we discussed. All taken care of. [pauses] I have other jobs that need doing--if you two are interested.

CAROLYN [after exchanging eye signals with BRANDY]:

Arial sweetheart, we'll let you know. Right now I just want to get back to my own ship.

[Hard cut to wide establishing shot of bridge of J-class starship 1967 to show CAROLYN in her command chair, BRANDY standing next to her, and HUBERT in navigator's seat with HECTOR in helmsman's chair. Camera swings around to show DAISY in communications seat.]

[Two-shot of BRANDY standing next to CAROLYN in captain's chair.] BRANDY:

You O.K.?

CAROLYN [after meeting the other's eyes]:

Are you?

BRANDY:

I'm fine.

CAROLYN:

Well, so am I. Hector, what's our next destination?

HECTOR [after looking down]:

The New Paris colony ma'am. We're rotating the medical research team that's been stationed there; they're finished with their study and want to go home.

CAROLYN [after nodding]:

I can see how that might happen. Give us warp six, to get us there in a hurry then.

HECTOR:

Warp six, ma'am.

CAROLYN:

Steady as she goes.

BRANDY:

So it's back to business as usual around here?

CAROLYN:

No. When we finish with this, I'll be calling you-know-who, to see what she wants us to do.

BRANDY:

Sounds like fun.

CAROLYN:

I know.

BRANDY: So tune in next week everybody, for another exciting adventure of Carolyn--

CAROLYN:

And Brandy--

ALL IN UNISON:

In Outer Space.

DAISY:

Oh wait--we have a preview from next week's episode.

BRANDY:

That we do. Shall I play it, Captain?

CAROLYN:

Roll it, Brandy.

[Hard cut to interior rec room; DAISY is playing 3-D chess against the computer alone. ARIAL NIKO in admiral's uniform walks in. DAISY doesn't acknowledge her or look up from the game. ARIAL sees this and approaches DAISY.] ARIAL:

Hi Daisy.

DAISY [after looking up from game]:

Hi.

ARIAL [after offering her hand]:

I'm Arial.

DAISY [after shaking her proffered hand]:

Hi Arial--I'm Daisy.

ARIAL [after smiling]:

Yes I know. Sorry I haven't introduced myself sooner but I've been so busy lately.

DAISY:

I've noticed. So you still have to do all your Admiral stuff even when you come to visit Carolyn and Brandy?

ARIAL [after ticking her head to the side and rolling her eyes]: Yeah, there's a lot of administrative work that unfortunately has to get done; personnel decisions, meetings with other admirals, this kind of thing. Spacefleet Command has a rather large bureaucracy, as you might well imagine. What about you--where's Hector?

DAISY [after rolling her eyes]:

On duty till Oh three hundred. Then we're going to do something together.

ARIAL [after winking at DAISY]:

I'm sure you will. He looks strong.

DAISY [after nodding]:

He is. But he's also very caring, and he doesn't fool around behind my back. What about you--why aren't you married?

ARIAL [after giving DAISY a sardonic glance]:

Sharon and Mark are married--are they happy?

DAISY [after waving this away in capitulation]:

I see your point.

ARIAL:

Well I'll let you get back to your game. Just wanted to say hi.

DAISY:

That's fine. See ya.

ARIAL:

Not if I see you first.

DAISY:

Right.

[Hard cut to interior Briefing Room, where CAROLYN, BRANDY, ARIAL (in red Admiral's uniform), HECTOR, HUBERT, SHARON, MARK and DAISY are all seated around the table.] DAISY:

Our next mission will be highly critical and immensely complicated; that's why Admiral Niko has asked me to lead the meeting.

HECTOR [after doing a doubletake]:

So she already briefed you?

DAISY [after blushing, eyes averted]:

Yes she did.

[Series of reaction shots of all meeting member]

ARIAL:

The reason I briefed Daisy first was to ascertain whether or not this ship was even capable of attempting this mission; I figured if she can understand it, she can explain it to everyone here in simple terms.

DAISY:

Basically what we're going to try is attempt to right someone else's wrong. Another Federation starship captain did something that she shouldn't have, and now we have to clean up the mess.

CAROLYN:

This captain will remain anonymous, but it's someone I personally know, so for the purposes of this briefing and mission she will be referred to as Captain Smith.

We're going to go back in time via a controlled implosion after an emergency restart of cold antimatter engines. Mark?

MARK:

We have run the simulation as many times as we can, but there is always some risk; it's like when a surgeon does an operation. Due to Murphy's law, something can always go wrong.

SHARON:

As a doctor, I can tell you from personal experience, even the most competent practitioner can make an error in judgment, or bad luck can intervene, or the power can go out, et cetera.

BRANDY:

Right. Well, that's why we're having this meeting; to prepare as much as possible and I hope learn from other people's mistakes.

DAISY [to CAROLYN]:

Should I run the video now?

CAROLYN [after nodding]:

What we're going to now see is the ship's automatic detail recording that was made of the incident. What none of you have been told, what’s been held as the highest of state secrets until just a few days ago when I was personally informed by Admiral Niko, is that this planet’s past has been recently altered by the intervention of Captain Smith's ship, which we’ve been ordered to intercept. That ship was on routine patrol in this quadrant when it accidently hit a black hole in the Gamma Psi area. It managed to escape the hole’s gravitational field but the resulting sling shot propelled the ship back in time, almost twelve hundred Earth years. Once there, Captain Smith unfortunately got caught up in the planet’s dramatic history and did something that she shouldn’t have.

ARIAL:

What Captain Marks has just related to you is true and I must caution everyone in this room that what we are discussing is not to be even hinted at with any of the other ship’s crew nor anyone else. The damage that this other ship caused is not only sensational but politically embarrassing for Spacefleet. There have been far too many accusations in the United Federation of Planets’ General Assembly about starship captains disregarding the Prime Directive, also known as General Order Number One, for whatever reason, and this incident has come along at the wrong time, so an example must be made. Captain.

CAROLYN:

Yes Admiral. Because of my close--relationship with Captain Smith and other reasons, we were chosen for this mission.

[on monitor; wide establishing shot of bridge of other ship; captain has back to chair to camera POV]

SMITH [in captain's chair]:

[All are shocked to see the Captain is Melanie; Melanie’s log continues in background while briefing room members make the following comments nearly simultaneously]

BRANDY:

Melanie?!

HECTOR:

How did SHE get her own ship?

DAISY:

OH MY GOD.

HUBERT:

I thought she was DEAD.

SHARON:

Sweet mother of Christ.

MARK:

Uh-oh.

CAROLYN:

[to ARIAL as an aside] See? I told you. [to everyone else] O.K. Pipe down now, PIPE DOWN YOU PEOPLE.

Captain’s log, additional update. We continue to monitor the activities on the planet’s surface. Science officer McAdams reports the Malovians are preparing for their initial attack against the central government’s barracks and weapons storage.

DAISY:

[after everyone silences] Thank you Captain. Hold on that please, Brandy. (After the playback image freezes) The Malovians most closely resemble the rebels from Cuba in the 1950s Earth history; what he’s referring to is the big first push that the Malovians are getting ready for, against the Barbers, the central government, whom they don’t like, to put it mildly.

The problem with this is that the ancient Barbers, as bad as they were, evolve eventually into the Navar, the dominant civilization on Alpha Centauri Four, or at least it was the dominant civilization until Captain Smith, whom we all now know is Melanie, and company interfered with the normal development of this planet. This entire cluster, this system and the neighboring systems, have consistently voted with Earth; they are an important allay whose loyalty must be maintained. This is where the other ship began their intervention.

[Monitor shows guerrillas fighting against government troops: the rebels are hopelessly outnumbered, caught and put on trial.]

ARIAL (narrating events in the courtroom):

This is how Melanie became personally involved with this whole drama; as you can see, many of the rebels were brutally murdered and otherwise treated harshly by the Barbers. Now the rebels were brutal also, in their own way, later on, but here you can see the leader of the rebels has charisma and speaks very well for himself and his men.

[Eye exchanges between HECTOR, HUBERT and BRANDY as they take all this in.]

SHARON:

Is this where the Captain interfered?

DAISY:

No, it was a few years after this, planet time. I’m just showing you this as background. Their science officer, taking the calculations that Brandy had worked out, figured out how to return to our time and had Captain Smith simply done that, we wouldn’t be in the fix we are today.

MARK:

Excuse me Captain, but you asked me to notify you; we are now five solar minutes to our insertion point.

CAROLYN:

Flash the bridge. Put all sections on red alert. We’ll continue this later.

[Briefing room empties out except for HECTOR]

HECTOR (standing):

Attention all decks: red alert, repeat red alert. We have reached our engine restart insertion point. Cycling stations will begin their shutdown in four solar minutes. (Grabs his tapes and takes off for the corridor where everyone else went.)

[POV camera pulls back on last image to show CHELY intently viewing events as we have seen them. Camera further pulls back to show interior of deep space probe; WALT is about to strike CHELY with rolled-up paperwork, as a newspaper used to be utilized on a puppy’s snout for housebreaking]

WALT:

Will you quit watching that already?

CHELY:

Leave me ALONE!

WALT:

I’m sorry.

CHELY:

No, I’m sorry. I apologize.

WALT:

No, I apologize for raising my voice.

CHELY:

Well, you could also have been more tactful.

WALT:

Look, I’m supposed to be your commanding officer.

CHELY:

Don’t start this again.

WALT:

Don't start WHAT again?

CHELY:

You're yelling once more.

WALT:

Well, you're goofing off.

CHELY:

No, I am not. There is nothing to do, and I am simply waiting on orders. There's a difference.

WALT:

Hm, what a coincidence; so am I. Perhaps we could think of something to do together. To pass the time.

CHELY [in mock astonishment]:

Why Walter--are you suggesting we engage in illegal and/or immoral behavior? I'm shocked.

WALT:

I am suggesting nothing of the kind. I am simply asking you if you're in the mood.

CHELY:

In the mood for what, exactly?

WALT:

In the mood to be romanced, kissed, held, idolized and otherwise made to feel as if you're Helen of Troy?

CHELY [theatrically holding out her hand for WALT to take]:

Oh darling--you make me swoon!

WALT [after kissing her proffered hand]:

So is that a 'yes?'

CHELY:

Only if you turn on the voice mail.

WALT:

You know we can't do that. We have to be available.

CHELY:

Then I guess you don't get what you want, do you?

WALT:

Nor do you, my darling.

CHELY:

What is such a big deal about voice mail?

WALT:

I'm telling you it's off the table. Why are YOU making such a big deal about it?

CHELY:

Because I don't like to be interrupted.

WALT:

I don't mind.

CHELY:

Of course not. Because you're a MAN--and you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.

WALT:

Good garden party--forget I asked.

CHELY:

Fine.

WALT:

Fine.

CHELY [after a few minutes of palatable silence]:

Commander, may I resume viewing transmission?

WALT:

No you may not.

CHELY:

Well, what may I do to please you, Commander?

WALT:

You may stand up.

CHELY [after immediately rising out of her seat]:

At attention?

WALT [after blinking]:

No, you may stand at ease.

CHELY [in much lower voice after WALT approaches her]:

What are your orders now, Commander?

WALT [in equally low tone and volume]:

You may increase your heart rate and respiration as you anticipate my touch.

CHELY:

Your touch?

WALT:

My caress. My kiss. My kisses. All over your body.

CHELY:

What about my chest?

WALT:

Yes, thank you for reminding me. I had completely forgotten about your really nice rack. Your chest should begin heaving as your respiration rate rises.

CHELY [after chest begins heaving and she closes her eyes, throwing her head back]:

Kisses all over take too long. Please confine your smooches to sensitive body areas, Commander.

WALT:

Your wish is my command, my beautiful lady.

[CHELY roars in absolute and unadulterated disgust as intercom whistles; WALT by contrast shrugs as he was about to kiss her on the lips and sits down at communication work station.] WALT [after he touches intercom button]:

Deep Space Probe One Eighty-Seven here. Who's calling?

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Hi Walt. Hi Chely.

WALT and CHELY simultaneously:

Hi Carmen.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

How you crazy kids doing?

CHELY [unenthusiastically]:

Great.

WALT:

We're fine here Carmen. How are you?

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

Just peachy keen here also, Walter. Just thought I’d give you guys a shout and find out where you are.

WALT:

What do you mean, where are we?

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

It’s a simple question, Walt; where are you?

WALT [after blinking]:

We’re on board the ship.

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

I KNOW that, silly boy. I mean, where are you out in space?

WALT:

We’re past Sector Two Ninety-Five. Seriously, you guys can’t see us on your scopes?

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

Well Walt, I don’t know how to break this to you, but you must be WAY past Sector Two Ninety-Five if yes seriously we can’t see you on ANY of our scopes.

WALT [to CHELY]:

Chel, where are we?

CHELY [to WALT]:

Same place we were five minutes ago Walt, except five minutes ago you were about to make sweet passionate unrestrained love to me, and now you just want to verbally masturbate with Carmen.

WALT:

Answer my freaking question, you insolent ungrateful wench!

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

Kids, is this a bad time?

CHELY [incredulously]:

KIDS?!

WALT:

She’s just trying to get a rise out of you.

CHELY:

And she has succeeded. I see no children here. This is not a kindergarten.

WALT:

Carmen, I’ll be able to report our current position when my navigator/helmsman decides she wants to resume her duties, rather than simply confining herself to responding to your asinine insult. And no, to further answer your question, this is not a bad time.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

That time of the month, Chel (pronounces like 'shell')?

CHELY:

No it is not that time of the month, but you have interrupted our foreplay AGAIN, so what is your freaking problem?

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

I have no problems--only solutions, so if you tell me your freaking position, I can let you go and you two can go back to doing whatever you want.

CHELY [after looking down at some instruments]:

We're--two clicks out of Rigel.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

What are you guys doing there?

WALT [after CHELY is at a loss for words]:

We're doing our job, Car. You of all people I thought would understand that.

CHELY [under her breath, scoffing]:

'Car?'

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Last I heard you guys were in Sector Two Ninety-Five.

WALT:

Yeah, and there's nothing in Two Ninety-Five so we decided to investigate outside of that sector.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Oh, so you decided on your own to disobey orders.

WALT:

No we had no orders to disobey so I decided to use my own initiative to carry out our mission.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Which is what, Walt?

WALT [reciting in as bored a voice as he can muster]:

To seek out new worlds, new life and new civilizations.

CHELY:

To boldy go where no man--

WALT:

--or woman--

WALT and CHELY simultaneously:

Has gone before.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Just checking. You two have a wonderful day.

CHELY:

We will. Thanks for calling Car.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

No problem. Be sure to use a condom. Starbase out.

CHELY [after rising from her seat]:

Now where were we?

WALT [after gesturing]:

Um, Chel.

CHELY [innocently]:

What?

[Camera POV shows CHELY turning around to see deflector screens have snapped on. She sits down at her work station and reads some instruments] CHELY:

Large body ahead.

WALT:

You're kidding.

CHELY:

No I'm not. Silica based, one E. On the viewer.

[Three shot from behind them shows WALT in communications chair, CHELY in navigator/helmsman's seat and approaching planet on large 3:2 aspect ratio screen]

WALT:

Standard orbit, please.

CHELY [after touching some places on her console]:

Standard orbit, sir.

WALT [after intercom whistles again]:

And we are being hailed. [after he touches a place on his console] This is Deep Space Probe One Eighty-Seven of Spacefleet Command. We convey greetings and await your reply.

ALIEN VOICE (filtered) [in stilted, affected English]:

Hello, Walter. Time to call your mother.

WALT [after rising from his seat in anticipation]:

My mother? [to CHELY] Turn the transmission back on.

CHELY [slowly, not understanding]:

The transmission?

WALT [agitated, snapping at her]:

What you were watching before; DO IT!

CHELY [finally understanding and touching a different place on her work station]:

Yes sir.

WALT [after engaging his intercom]:

Mom? We have a problem.

[Hard cut to J-class 1967's bridge; DAISY at her work station raises a finger to her earpiece as if listening to something]

DAISY:

Captain? It's Walt, and he says he has a problem.

CAROLYN [in Captain's chair after sighing]:

Everybody, stop what you're doing--just stop. My darling baby boy is calling to say he has a problem.

HUBERT [from navigator's position, with his hand raised theatrically]:

Shall I address intercraft?

CAROLYN [to HUBERT]:

Hold on that; let me see what the problem is first.

[Hard cut to two-shot of WALT aboard DSP187 ending conversation with his mother and CHELY listening silently with no reaction at her work station, the latter occasionally glancing down at her instruments]

WALT:

No, I understand. I got it. Talk to ya later. Love you too. Bye-bye. [after touching a place on his communications work station] Mom says she's busy; is there something I can help you with?

[CHELY turns around to give WALT a withering stare]

WALT:

Uh, make that 'we;' is there anything we can help you with?

ALIEN'S VOICE (filtered) [in similar stilted, halting English]:

Please initiate passionate unrestrained intercourse with Chely.

WALT [after addressing camera and CHELY turns around and begins disrobing]:

Roger that. Sorry guys--but we gotta go.

[Fade to black]

[credits roll, end theme music plays, camera pulls back]

Directed by
Orson Welles

Screenplay by
Truman Capote and Ernest Hemingway

Story by
Dorothy Kilgallen

Based on the Epic Poem 'Paradise Lost'
By John Milton

Cinematography by
Akira Kurosawa

Art Director:
Ksenia Belaya

Assistant Art Director:
Vasilisa Shchurko

Creative Consultant:
Emily Jones

Music by
Ludwig Von Beethoven

Arranged by
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Performed by
The London Symphony Orchestra

Soundtrack available on
Columbia Records

Cameo by
Queen Noor of Jordan as the Waitress

Costumes by
Edith Head

Dance sequences staged by
Twyla Tharp

Additional choreography by
Grisha Lubov, by special permission of the Ballet Lermontov

Cameraman:
Ted Moore, BCE

All special effects courtesy of Lucasfilm LTD: Industrial Light & Magic

Read the Bantam Paperback Book; published by Bennett Cerf of Random House

The Producers wish to thank
The Royal Hashemite Monarchy of Jordan for their kind permission in access to certain forbidden Holy Lands
The Guggenheim Foundation
The World Bank
The Hague
Princess Celestia of Equestria
The Cartoon Network
The Coca-Cola Bottling Company
United Technologies
The Estate of John Updike
The Estate of Vladimir Nabokov
Lauren Faust
Rarity & Spike

The James Bond Theme is copyright United Artists and MGM Studios; here used with permission.

No animals were harmed in the making of this motion picture.

No blooper reel is available, so don't even ask.

You in the back there--pick up your popcorn!

Description
[Establishing shot of X-class starship in orbit of planet; J-class ship comes along side during monologue. ARIAL's voice over]:

Admiral's log, stardate 9886.3. J-class starship 1967 now returning from special assignment on Beta-Epsilon Five. Captain and first officer now beaming aboard for personal oral report.

[Interior X-class transporter room with ARIAL at the controls. CAROLYN and BRANDY materialize on individual pads]

CAROLYN [after stepping off pad]:

Arial.

ARIAL [after coming around from behind console to greet them]: Hi Carolyn. Hi Brandy.

BRANDY [coming up behind CAROLYN]:

Hi Arial. How's everything?

ARIAL:

Oh, pretty good. How are you guys?

CAROLYN:

Fantastic. And I couldn't wait to get back to tell you the good news.

ARIAL:

Great. Well, I've asked John to join us. I hope you don't mind.

BRANDY [after CAROLYN gestures NP]:

No, that's great. We're anxious to get caught up on the sphere.

ARIAL [after walking briskly toward sliding door]:

I thought as much. Hungry? Thirsty? Both? Neither?

[interior shot of hallway as CAROLYN and BRANDY follow ARIAL down hallways. CAROLYN]:

You might twist our arms if you try really hard.

[interior shot of briefing room where JOHN stands when door slides open. JOHN]:

Well look what the tide washed in.

CAROLYN [after she enters behind ARIAL]:

Hi John.

BRANDY [after she enters behind CAROLYN]:

Hi John.

JOHN:

Hi you guys.

ARIAL [to CAROLYN and BRANDY]:

Well, what can we get you?

CAROLYN:

Whatever you're having is fine.

BRANDY:

Same.

CAROLYN [when no one says anything]:

So how's things going with the sphere?

JOHN [after gesturing]:

We're getting there; slowly but surely we're making progress.

BRANDY [after ARIAL sets a glass each in front of CAROLYN and BRANDY]:

So have you discovered who sent it out yet?

ARIAL [after she and JOHN dismiss this]:

No, it's going to be a while before that happens. The aliens want to take it slow, so we're going to have to wait them out.

CAROLYN [after she pulls on her drink and digests this]:

How about the colonists? They been behaving themselves?

JOHN [after ARIAL is slow to speak up, dragging on her drink as well]:

Yeah, I think you put the fear of God in them; they've been minding their manners ever since we delivered another pressure dome to them.

BRANDY [after another awkward pause]:

Great. [she takes another sip of her drink]

CAROLYN:

Well everything's all taken care of on Beta-Epsilon Five; got them all squared away.

ARIAL [after smiling widely]:

Great. I knew you would.

BRANDY [after exchanging eye signals with CAROLYN]:

So John. Ready to come back to our crew?

JOHN:

Nah, I think I'll hang here a little while longer. Check up on the sphere.

CAROLYN [after blinking]:

O.K.

BRANDY [after another sip, longer this time]:

So how have you two been getting along?

ARIAL [after smiling and exchanging glances with JOHN]:

Pretty well. We've been feeling each other out, seeing how the other likes to do things. I'd have to rate John rather highly, now that you mention it, although technically that's not official for another few weeks.

JOHN [after nodding]:

That's nice to know.

CAROLYN [after taking a long last drag on her drink]:

Yup.

BRANDY [to CAROLYN]:

Ready for another one?

CAROLYN [after standing]:

Yeah. What about you?

BRANDY [after following CAROLYN to replicator]:

Make mine a double this time.

CAROLYN:

Sounds good to me.

[ARIAL and JOHN exchange looks again at that]

[dissolve to a few hours later]

CAROLYN:

So how we doing Brandy?

BRANDY:

Real good boss.

CAROLYN:

How's the situation look?

BRANDY:

Dire as always, but I know you'll come through for us in the end.

CAROLYN:

How can you be sure?

BRANDY:

Because you always do.

CAROLYN:

I think something's up with Arial though.

BRANDY:

Why do you think that?

CAROLYN:

She doesn't seem to be saying very much.

BRANDY:

I kind of noticed that too.

ARIAL [after drawing up]:

I just thought you guys would be ready to kick back. You know, take it easy; what we talked about before you got involved in your last assignment.

CAROLYN:

Aren't you interested at all in the details of what happened?

ARIAL [after gesturing]:

I read through all your Captain's logs. You told me it went well. What more is there?

JOHN [intervening]:

Carolyn, I think Arial is concerned she hasn't created a monster in you.

CAROLYN [after collapsing back into her seat]:

Oh.

BRANDY:

I see.

CAROLYN:

Well if there's nothing more that's pressing, I guess we can hang around here for a while. Take it easy. Authorize shore leave and all that.

ARIAL:

Why not?

[interior shot CAROLYN & BRANDY's X-class quarters. CAROLYN's voice over as camera pans]:

Captain's log, supplemental. Shore leave for all off duty personnel is under way. Am hanging here on X-class starship while Admiral Niko evaluates me for possibly becoming an excitement junkie. Hector still has the conn back on J-class starship as First Officer Brandy is still with me. Will advise when orders or the situation changes. Captain out.

[BRANDY looks over at her]

CAROLYN:

Feel like going down to the gym with me?

BRANDY:

Sure.

[interior darkened corridor two shot; no conversation. CAROLYN walking slightly ahead of BRANDY]

[interior turbolift. CAROLYN]:

Gym.

BRANDY [says nothing as turbolift begins to move]

CAROLYN:

So do you think I'm an excitement junkie?

BRANDY [after gesturing]:

It's not just you.

[interior corridor after turbolift's doors have opened. BRANDY]:

It's an easy trap that any captain can fall into, especially the successful ones.

CAROLYN:

Uh-huh.

[interior gym shot; wide then cut to two shot of CAROLYN and BRANDY appraising each other, circling. CAROLYN]: You ready?

BRANDY:

Uh-huh.

[fast cuts to show CAROLYN and BRANDY wrestling. After being pinned and grunting BRANDY]:

You do like to win though.

CAROLYN:

Well who doesn't?

BRANDY [after being pinned again]:

You like to win a lot.

CAROLYN:

Uh-huh.

BRANDY [after being pinned yet again]:

You like to win an awful lot.

CAROLYN:

So what are you implying here?

BRANDY [after she rises from mat]:

I'm not implying anything; I'm simply making an observation.

CAROLYN:

That I like to win. That I have some unhealthy obsession with winning.

BRANDY [after shrugging]:

You said it; I didn't.

CAROLYN:

You like to be pinned.

BRANDY [smiling after dismissing this]:

No I don't.

CAROLYN:

I see what's going on here. You get what you want, and I'm the bad guy. [pantomiming red alert sound and rhythm]:

Guilt complex. Guilt complex.

BRANDY:

You're delusional.

CAROLYN:

Oh really?

[fast cuts again to show CAROLYN and BRANDY wrestling]

[dissolve to show passage of time; resolution to overhead two shot of CAROLYN and BRANDY both lying face up on the mat, both panting]

BRANDY:

Ready for a break?

CAROLYN:

No, now I'm ready for Arial.

BRANDY:

She'd kick your rear end. As tired as you are now.

CAROLYN [after panting some more]:

We'd see. I'm just getting warmed up.

BRANDY [after turning over to meet CAROLYN's level gaze]:

How about a shower?

CAROLYN [after pregnant pause]:

Yeah. O.K.

[Hard cut to tight two-shot of CAROLYN and BRANDY in the shower together, alternately kissing and soaping each other up; segues to both in bed, rolling around under the covers, continuing kissing, et cetera]

CAROLYN [after lying back, breaking from BRANDY and sighing]: Boy was that good.

BRANDY [with her eyes still closed, lying back also]:

Can say that again.

CAROLYN [after reflective moment]:

Glad we don't have to be on duty any time soon.

BRANDY [still with eyes closed]:

Yeah. Thank God for that.

CAROLYN [after considerable pause]:

Do you really think I'm an excitement junkie?

BRANDY [after turning over to face her, trying to obfuscate]: Carolyn.

CAROLYN [after resisting her advance]:

No. Don't touch me. Answer the question.

BRANDY [after closing her eyes again and opening them]: Sometimes I thought you were getting carried away, to some extent. I don't know as I'd call you a 'junkie.'

CAROLYN [confessing]:

It's just such a rush; I can't help it. When I feel like I've accomplished something tangible and I just want to do it again and again, over and over.

BRANDY [confessing back]:

I know. I feel the same thing, vicariously. And I feel proud to be part of our crew, to have helped you accomplish something worthwhile.

CAROLYN [having an epiphany]:

Arial's right though. In the wrong hands it could be used for, or as a cover for, nefarious activities.

BRANDY:

In the wrong hands. But for us though, as long as we're aware of the danger and guard against it. As we would groupthink. I think we'll be all right.

CAROLYN:

Yeah. I agree. So the best thing to do here is hang here until Arial says otherwise and just chill.

BRANDY [after blinking]:

But there's no reason why we can't help, is there?

CAROLYN [after blinking herself]:

No. Let's go--see what John's up to.

[Hard cut to both of them dressed in their usual uniforms converging on JOHN at his work station]

JOHN [after glancing at both]:

Ladies.

BRANDY [after sitting down in the work station next to him]:

Hi John.

CAROLYN [after sitting down on the other side]:

Hi John. How's everything going?

JOHN [after checking some instruments and readings]:

Just fine.

BRANDY:

Good. We're here to help.

CAROLYN:

Right.

JOHN [after drawing up and appraising both]:

O.K. Science Officer, here is what you can be doing-- [he demonstrates on BRANDY's work station]:

And Captain, you can monitor this over here. [shows CAROLYN]

BRANDY [without taking her eyes off the readings]:

All right.

CAROLYN:

O.K.

[dissolve to show passage of time]

BRANDY:

So this is what you do all day long John?

JOHN [looks sardonically at her but doesn't say anything]

[CAROLYN and BRANDY exchange glances but otherwise keep mum]

CAROLYN [after leaning back behind JOHN]:

(silently mouthing to BRANDY) There's got to be more to life than this.

BRANDY [who has leaned back also]:

(mouthing the same way to CAROLYN) I know.

CAROLYN [still leaning back]:

(fake screaming with no sound, eyes closed) This is so boring!

BRANDY [leaning back as well]:

(pulling on imaginary rope next to her head to simulate hanging herself) I KNOW! [sticking her tongue out and crossing her eyes]

JOHN [finally leaning back also]:

What are y'all doing?

[CAROLYN and BRANDY drop their chairs back simultaneously. CAROLYN and BRANDY at the same time]:

Nothing.

JOHN [returning his chair to normal position]:

Uh-huh.

CAROLYN [after regarding her instruments again]:

John, how long have you been at this position?

JOHN:

Some time. Why?

BRANDY:

Has it occurred to you John that uh maybe--

CAROLYN:

Maybe the sphere and/or the aliens are waiting for you to make the next move?

JOHN:

Arial said to go slow.

BRANDY:

John there's going slow and then there's--

CAROLYN:

This. I say we try a little (nudge), just to see what the sphere does and then--

BRANDY:

We wait.

CAROLYN [while they're waiting]:

Arial said.

JOHN [after a while]:

Yes. She did.

CAROLYN:

And if Arial said for you to jump off the roof on a high-gravity planet--

JOHN:

This involves considerably less personal risk.

CAROLYN:

But is she your commanding officer or am I?

JOHN:

You are. But you haven't been around. And you dumped me with her.

BRANDY:

Here we go, right? It all comes spilling out.

JOHN [after drawing up]:

Tell you ladies what. I'm going to eat now; what you do while I'm gone is your business. See y'all later.

[After he leaves, ARIAL bursts in]

CAROLYN:

Hi.

ARIAL:

Hi. Carolyn. Where's John?

CAROLYN:

He went to get something to eat.

ARIAL:

Well something's going on with the sphere.

BRANDY [after CAROLYN says nothing]:

We know. That's what we've been watching.

ARIAL [after considering CAROLYN and BRANDY]:

Might have known.

CAROLYN:

I'm sorry Arial--what was that?

ARIAL:

I said, I just got off the horn with Spacefleet Command. Seems we have a slight problem with Ursus Epsilon Three.

CAROLYN [after exchanging eye signals with BRANDY]:

Really.

ARIAL:

Yeah. Might be just the thing for a person with your--uh, touch, shall we say?.

BRANDY:

Care to give us any more details?

ARIAL:

Your Captain will explain after I've briefed her. In my cabin.

CAROLYN [aside to herself]:

So that's how it is. [After standing] Well, shall we then?

BRANDY [after ARIAL and CAROLYN leave]:

Well well well. She sure took her sweet time about it, but when push came to shove--

JOHN [after returning]:

What did I miss?

BRANDY:

I'll tell you all about it. Later.

[Hard cut to CAROLYN finishing dressing in ARIAL's cabin. CAROLYN (on intercom)]:

Brandy? Grab your stuff and meet me in the transporter room.

[Two shot of BRANDY with JOHN. BRANDY]:

On my way.

[Interior transporter room. CAROLYN enters with her bag. CAROLYN]:

Come on--change in plans. We're taking a shuttlecraft.

BRANDY [from behind transporter console]:

Not going back to the ship?

CAROLYN [after shaking her head]:

No. I changed my mind. Let's go.

BRANDY:

'K.

[Interior turbolift, two shot of CAROLYN & BRANDY. Eyes back and forth but no conversation.]

[Interior deserted shuttlecraft deck. Turbolift doors open to reveal two shot of C&B who both move out without hesitation toward nearest shuttlecraft.]

[CAROLYN accesses shuttlecraft while BRANDY looks on.]

[Hard cut to interior shuttlecraft; two shot of C&B in front two seats. CAROLYN pilots shuttle while BRANDY observes]

BRANDY [after a while]:

Where are we going?

CAROLYN [after some more button pushing and instrument reading]:

You'll see.

[Dissolve to show passage of time; shuttlecraft flying through starfield and fade back to interior shot behind both to show them facing large picture window with star cluster congregating in center of view; otherwise blackness.]

CAROLYN:

This is Federation shuttlecraft TC-118. Do you copy, Perseus Four?

BRANDY [after lifting hand to face]:

Oh no.

FEMALE VOICE [filtered]:

Perseus Four here, shuttlecraft TC-118. How can we help you?

CAROLYN:

Requesting landing clearance.

SAME FEMALE VOICE [filtered]:

Are we expecting you, TC-118?

CAROLYN:

Yes, this is Captain Carolyn Marks of Spacefleet Command. I have an appointment with Prime Minister Loomis later on today.

SAME FEMALE VOICE [filtered]:

Please hold on.

BRANDY:

A boundary dispute?

CAROLYN [aside]:

Shut up. I'll explain in a minute.

BRANDY [under her breath]:

Fuuuuuh. Why did you even bring me? You're not telling me anything and you act like this whole thing is the highest of state secrets.

CAROLYN [hissing to BRANDY]:

I said, SHUT UP!

BRANDY [rolling her eyes while twisting her mouth]

SAME FEMALE VOICE [filtered]:

Roger TC-118, proceed to landing pad twenty-two; you can land there.

CAROLYN [in normal tone]:

Thank you. [After she lands ship and turns radio off]:

It's not just a boundary dispute; it's also a trade dispute and an interplanetary incident. Arial said this whole thing has gone on long enough and everybody's sick of it. So I'm here to end it. As for what you're doing here, I thought you might want to help, but if you're going to be this way about it, just sit here with the ship until I'm done; then we can both leave.

BRANDY:

All right! Fine.

CAROLYN:

Fine.

BRANDY [after CAROLYN's gone, while playing with the computer]: 'Arial said, Arial said.' Freaking nonsense. Don't know what the problem is but--.

[Dissolve to show passage of time; a few hours later. Radio crackles] CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Brandy?

BRANDY:

Carolyn?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Yeah it's me. Are you alone?

BRANDY:

Yeah. Nobody's here. What's up?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

We have a slight problem. I need for you to get us clearance to leave, otherwise I can't do what I came here to do.

BRANDY:

I see. So what happens if I can't get us clearance?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Then I can't complete the mission. I have to abort it. But we should still be able to leave, one way or another.

BRANDY [after lowering her eyes]:

Hmm. I see. [she sighs, resigned] Well, what do I have to do?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Get up to Flight Command and either persuade whoever's in charge there to let us leave when I finish or, failing that, figure out a way to bypass the planet's security.

BRANDY:

Wait a minute. [after accessing onboard computer for map] I see it now. How soon are you going to be done?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Depends on you.

BRANDY:

O.K. I'll call you when I know what's what.

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

O.K. Talk to you then.

BRANDY:

K. Out. [continues to work on computer, flipping through screen, which reflects on her face in darkened cabin. After a while, she touches a place on the intercom to initiate a voice link]:

Captain. Are you there?

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Yes, Science Officer?

BRANDY:

All set. Ready when you are.

CAROLYN'S VOICE [filtered]:

Sounds good. Be back in a flash.

BRANDY:

K. Standing by. [continues cycling through computer screens as she waits]

CAROLYN [after hastily entering shuttle and strapping herself into her seat]:

O.K. Let's get the you-know-what out of here.

BRANDY [after firing up the retros]:

Yes ma'am Captain sir. Exiting post haste.

[Exterior landing pad wide shot, showing shuttlecraft launching along with sirens wailing, red alerts signs lighting up and planet security in hot pursuit.]

[Interior two shot from behind] CAROLYN [after becoming visibly alarmed]:

Brandy.

BRANDY [remaining stoic]:

I see them.

[Detail of computer screen showing animated graphic flash and then: HIT ON MAIN REAR DEFLECTOR SCREEN]

CAROLYN:

Brandy, we're taking fire.

BRANDY:

I see that.

CAROLYN:

Well, what the hell is this?

BRANDY:

I don't know. [after sideways suspicious glance] What did you do?

CAROLYN:

I told you--I completed the mission.

BRANDY [after grimacing; eyes back on instruments in front of her]:

You didn't tell me anything!

[Same detail of computer graphic showing four pursuers in formation; lead ship fires and words flash: HIT ON MAIN REAR DEFLECTOR]

[Interior shuttlecraft two shot from behind; then tight one shot of CAROLYN] CAROLYN:

They're trying to knock out our engines.

BRANDY:

I see that.

CAROLYN:

Well?

BRANDY:

We'll be behind their larger moon before they can do any damage. Then we can warp out of here.

[Exterior wide shot of shuttle while being pursued. Ship makes extended right turn to sneak behind larger natural satellite.]

[Interior tight one shot of BRANDY] BRANDY [under her breath as she pilots ship into shadow behind moon]:

Too slow, suckers.

[Interior two shot from behind segues to POV on main screen showing squadron of similar planet security ships forming blockade stance.] CAROLYN:

Brandy!

BRANDY [grimacing as she whips the shuttle around]:

Uh-oh--can't go that way.

CAROLYN:

Try the other moon.

BRANDY:

I am.

CAROLYN:

Brandy, I thought you said you had this planned.

BRANDY:

I did--I just didn't anticipate this kind of a chase.

CAROLYN:

Now all of them are after us!

BRANDY:

I see that. All we need is a few seconds in the shadow of their moon; otherwise we have to outrun their planetary warp dampening aura.

[Exterior wide shot of shuttle now being pursued by initial P4 security squadron along with additional larger moon fighters. Again lead pursuer fires on rear of shuttle.]

[Same interior shuttle two shot rear. Alarms are ringing and warning lights are flashing.] BRANDY [over din]:

Sweet southern Jeasus--who did you kill?

CAROLYN [with eyes averted]:

None of your business.

BRANDY:

Obviously.

CAROLYN:

Just get us out of here.

BRANDY:

I'm trying.

[Exterior wide shot as shuttle passes around front of smaller moon, still being pursued.]

[Interior one shot of CAROLYN] CAROLYN:

Taking the long way?

[Interior one shot of BRANDY] BRANDY [after she shrugs]:

If the small moon's security forces were hanging around waiting for us, it'll take time for them to catch us this way, so maybe--

[Hard cut to interior of briefing room of X-class starship, where ARIAL, CAROLYN and BRANDY are all seated around a conference table. Wide establishing shot followed by individual one shots as each person talks.]

ARIAL:

So that's the way it is; you two can never go back to that planet, because of the outstanding warrants for both of you. Officially, I know nothing about it. Unofficially, great job.

BRANDY [after shrugging]:

Why would either of us ever go back there?

CAROLYN:

Exactly what I was going to say. So then, it worked? He was the logjam?

ARIAL [after nodding]:

Yes. The new guy just wants to make friends--go along to get along--so you did precisely what needed to be done.

CAROLYN:

And Ursus Epsilon Three? That got resolved also?

ARIAL:

It did. As we discussed. All taken care of. [pauses] I have other jobs that need doing--if you two are interested.

CAROLYN [after exchanging eye signals with BRANDY]:

Arial sweetheart, we'll let you know. Right now I just want to get back to my own ship.

[Hard cut to wide establishing shot of bridge of J-class starship 1967 to show CAROLYN in her command chair, BRANDY standing next to her, and HUBERT in navigator's seat with HECTOR in helmsman's chair. Camera swings around to show DAISY in communications seat.]

[Two-shot of BRANDY standing next to CAROLYN in captain's chair.] BRANDY:

You O.K.?

CAROLYN [after meeting the other's eyes]:

Are you?

BRANDY:

I'm fine.

CAROLYN:

Well, so am I. Hector, what's our next destination?

HECTOR [after looking down]:

The New Paris colony ma'am. We're rotating the medical research team that's been stationed there; they're finished with their study and want to go home.

CAROLYN [after nodding]:

I can see how that might happen. Give us warp six, to get us there in a hurry then.

HECTOR:

Warp six, ma'am.

CAROLYN:

Steady as she goes.

BRANDY:

So it's back to business as usual around here?

CAROLYN:

No. When we finish with this, I'll be calling you-know-who, to see what she wants us to do.

BRANDY:

Sounds like fun.

CAROLYN:

I know.

BRANDY: So tune in next week everybody, for another exciting adventure of Carolyn--

CAROLYN:

And Brandy--

ALL IN UNISON:

In Outer Space.

DAISY:

Oh wait--we have a preview from next week's episode.

BRANDY:

That we do. Shall I play it, Captain?

CAROLYN:

Roll it, Brandy.

[Hard cut to interior rec room; DAISY is playing 3-D chess against the computer alone. ARIAL NIKO in admiral's uniform walks in. DAISY doesn't acknowledge her or look up from the game. ARIAL sees this and approaches DAISY.] ARIAL:

Hi Daisy.

DAISY [after looking up from game]:

Hi.

ARIAL [after offering her hand]:

I'm Arial.

DAISY [after shaking her proffered hand]:

Hi Arial--I'm Daisy.

ARIAL [after smiling]:

Yes I know. Sorry I haven't introduced myself sooner but I've been so busy lately.

DAISY:

I've noticed. So you still have to do all your Admiral stuff even when you come to visit Carolyn and Brandy?

ARIAL [after ticking her head to the side and rolling her eyes]: Yeah, there's a lot of administrative work that unfortunately has to get done; personnel decisions, meetings with other admirals, this kind of thing. Spacefleet Command has a rather large bureaucracy, as you might well imagine. What about you--where's Hector?

DAISY [after rolling her eyes]:

On duty till Oh three hundred. Then we're going to do something together.

ARIAL [after winking at DAISY]:

I'm sure you will. He looks strong.

DAISY [after nodding]:

He is. But he's also very caring, and he doesn't fool around behind my back. What about you--why aren't you married?

ARIAL [after giving DAISY a sardonic glance]:

Sharon and Mark are married--are they happy?

DAISY [after waving this away in capitulation]:

I see your point.

ARIAL:

Well I'll let you get back to your game. Just wanted to say hi.

DAISY:

That's fine. See ya.

ARIAL:

Not if I see you first.

DAISY:

Right.

[Hard cut to interior Briefing Room, where CAROLYN, BRANDY, ARIAL (in red Admiral's uniform), HECTOR, HUBERT, SHARON, MARK and DAISY are all seated around the table.] DAISY:

Our next mission will be highly critical and immensely complicated; that's why Admiral Niko has asked me to lead the meeting.

HECTOR [after doing a doubletake]:

So she already briefed you?

DAISY [after blushing, eyes averted]:

Yes she did.

[Series of reaction shots of all meeting member]

ARIAL:

The reason I briefed Daisy first was to ascertain whether or not this ship was even capable of attempting this mission; I figured if she can understand it, she can explain it to everyone here in simple terms.

DAISY:

Basically what we're going to try is attempt to right someone else's wrong. Another Federation starship captain did something that she shouldn't have, and now we have to clean up the mess.

CAROLYN:

This captain will remain anonymous, but it's someone I personally know, so for the purposes of this briefing and mission she will be referred to as Captain Smith.

We're going to go back in time via a controlled implosion after an emergency restart of cold antimatter engines. Mark?

MARK:

We have run the simulation as many times as we can, but there is always some risk; it's like when a surgeon does an operation. Due to Murphy's law, something can always go wrong.

SHARON:

As a doctor, I can tell you from personal experience, even the most competent practitioner can make an error in judgment, or bad luck can intervene, or the power can go out, et cetera.

BRANDY:

Right. Well, that's why we're having this meeting; to prepare as much as possible and I hope learn from other people's mistakes.

DAISY [to CAROLYN]:

Should I run the video now?

CAROLYN [after nodding]:

What we're going to now see is the ship's automatic detail recording that was made of the incident. What none of you have been told, what’s been held as the highest of state secrets until just a few days ago when I was personally informed by Admiral Niko, is that this planet’s past has been recently altered by the intervention of Captain Smith's ship, which we’ve been ordered to intercept. That ship was on routine patrol in this quadrant when it accidently hit a black hole in the Gamma Psi area. It managed to escape the hole’s gravitational field but the resulting sling shot propelled the ship back in time, almost twelve hundred Earth years. Once there, Captain Smith unfortunately got caught up in the planet’s dramatic history and did something that she shouldn’t have.

ARIAL:

What Captain Marks has just related to you is true and I must caution everyone in this room that what we are discussing is not to be even hinted at with any of the other ship’s crew nor anyone else. The damage that this other ship caused is not only sensational but politically embarrassing for Spacefleet. There have been far too many accusations in the United Federation of Planets’ General Assembly about starship captains disregarding the Prime Directive, also known as General Order Number One, for whatever reason, and this incident has come along at the wrong time, so an example must be made. Captain.

CAROLYN:

Yes Admiral. Because of my close--relationship with Captain Smith and other reasons, we were chosen for this mission.

[on monitor; wide establishing shot of bridge of other ship; captain has back to chair to camera POV]

SMITH [in captain's chair]:

[All are shocked to see the Captain is Melanie; Melanie’s log continues in background while briefing room members make the following comments nearly simultaneously]

BRANDY:

Melanie?!

HECTOR:

How did SHE get her own ship?

DAISY:

OH MY GOD.

HUBERT:

I thought she was DEAD.

SHARON:

Sweet mother of Christ.

MARK:

Uh-oh.

CAROLYN:

[to ARIAL as an aside] See? I told you. [to everyone else] O.K. Pipe down now, PIPE DOWN YOU PEOPLE.

Captain’s log, additional update. We continue to monitor the activities on the planet’s surface. Science officer McAdams reports the Malovians are preparing for their initial attack against the central government’s barracks and weapons storage.

DAISY:

[after everyone silences] Thank you Captain. Hold on that please, Brandy. (After the playback image freezes) The Malovians most closely resemble the rebels from Cuba in the 1950s Earth history; what he’s referring to is the big first push that the Malovians are getting ready for, against the Barbers, the central government, whom they don’t like, to put it mildly.

The problem with this is that the ancient Barbers, as bad as they were, evolve eventually into the Navar, the dominant civilization on Alpha Centauri Four, or at least it was the dominant civilization until Captain Smith, whom we all now know is Melanie, and company interfered with the normal development of this planet. This entire cluster, this system and the neighboring systems, have consistently voted with Earth; they are an important allay whose loyalty must be maintained. This is where the other ship began their intervention.

[Monitor shows guerrillas fighting against government troops: the rebels are hopelessly outnumbered, caught and put on trial.]

ARIAL (narrating events in the courtroom):

This is how Melanie became personally involved with this whole drama; as you can see, many of the rebels were brutally murdered and otherwise treated harshly by the Barbers. Now the rebels were brutal also, in their own way, later on, but here you can see the leader of the rebels has charisma and speaks very well for himself and his men.

[Eye exchanges between HECTOR, HUBERT and BRANDY as they take all this in.]

SHARON:

Is this where the Captain interfered?

DAISY:

No, it was a few years after this, planet time. I’m just showing you this as background. Their science officer, taking the calculations that Brandy had worked out, figured out how to return to our time and had Captain Smith simply done that, we wouldn’t be in the fix we are today.

MARK:

Excuse me Captain, but you asked me to notify you; we are now five solar minutes to our insertion point.

CAROLYN:

Flash the bridge. Put all sections on red alert. We’ll continue this later.

[Briefing room empties out except for HECTOR]

HECTOR (standing):

Attention all decks: red alert, repeat red alert. We have reached our engine restart insertion point. Cycling stations will begin their shutdown in four solar minutes. (Grabs his tapes and takes off for the corridor where everyone else went.)

[POV camera pulls back on last image to show CHELY intently viewing events as we have seen them. Camera further pulls back to show interior of deep space probe; WALT is about to strike CHELY with rolled-up paperwork, as a newspaper used to be utilized on a puppy’s snout for housebreaking]

WALT:

Will you quit watching that already?

CHELY:

Leave me ALONE!

WALT:

I’m sorry.

CHELY:

No, I’m sorry. I apologize.

WALT:

No, I apologize for raising my voice.

CHELY:

Well, you could also have been more tactful.

WALT:

Look, I’m supposed to be your commanding officer.

CHELY:

Don’t start this again.

WALT:

Don't start WHAT again?

CHELY:

You're yelling once more.

WALT:

Well, you're goofing off.

CHELY:

No, I am not. There is nothing to do, and I am simply waiting on orders. There's a difference.

WALT:

Hm, what a coincidence; so am I. Perhaps we could think of something to do together. To pass the time.

CHELY [in mock astonishment]:

Why Walter--are you suggesting we engage in illegal and/or immoral behavior? I'm shocked.

WALT:

I am suggesting nothing of the kind. I am simply asking you if you're in the mood.

CHELY:

In the mood for what, exactly?

WALT:

In the mood to be romanced, kissed, held, idolized and otherwise made to feel as if you're Helen of Troy?

CHELY [theatrically holding out her hand for WALT to take]:

Oh darling--you make me swoon!

WALT [after kissing her proffered hand]:

So is that a 'yes?'

CHELY:

Only if you turn on the voice mail.

WALT:

You know we can't do that. We have to be available.

CHELY:

Then I guess you don't get what you want, do you?

WALT:

Nor do you, my darling.

CHELY:

What is such a big deal about voice mail?

WALT:

I'm telling you it's off the table. Why are YOU making such a big deal about it?

CHELY:

Because I don't like to be interrupted.

WALT:

I don't mind.

CHELY:

Of course not. Because you're a MAN--and you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.

WALT:

Good garden party--forget I asked.

CHELY:

Fine.

WALT:

Fine.

CHELY [after a few minutes of palatable silence]:

Commander, may I resume viewing transmission?

WALT:

No you may not.

CHELY:

Well, what may I do to please you, Commander?

WALT:

You may stand up.

CHELY [after immediately rising out of her seat]:

At attention?

WALT [after blinking]:

No, you may stand at ease.

CHELY [in much lower voice after WALT approaches her]:

What are your orders now, Commander?

WALT [in equally low tone and volume]:

You may increase your heart rate and respiration as you anticipate my touch.

CHELY:

Your touch?

WALT:

My caress. My kiss. My kisses. All over your body.

CHELY:

What about my chest?

WALT:

Yes, thank you for reminding me. I had completely forgotten about your really nice rack. Your chest should begin heaving as your respiration rate rises.

CHELY [after chest begins heaving and she closes her eyes, throwing her head back]:

Kisses all over take too long. Please confine your smooches to sensitive body areas, Commander.

WALT:

Your wish is my command, my beautiful lady.

[CHELY roars in absolute and unadulterated disgust as intercom whistles; WALT by contrast shrugs as he was about to kiss her on the lips and sits down at communication work station.] WALT [after he touches intercom button]:

Deep Space Probe One Eighty-Seven here. Who's calling?

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Hi Walt. Hi Chely.

WALT and CHELY simultaneously:

Hi Carmen.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

How you crazy kids doing?

CHELY [unenthusiastically]:

Great.

WALT:

We're fine here Carmen. How are you?

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

Just peachy keen here also, Walter. Just thought I’d give you guys a shout and find out where you are.

WALT:

What do you mean, where are we?

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

It’s a simple question, Walt; where are you?

WALT [after blinking]:

We’re on board the ship.

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

I KNOW that, silly boy. I mean, where are you out in space?

WALT:

We’re past Sector Two Ninety-Five. Seriously, you guys can’t see us on your scopes?

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

Well Walt, I don’t know how to break this to you, but you must be WAY past Sector Two Ninety-Five if yes seriously we can’t see you on ANY of our scopes.

WALT [to CHELY]:

Chel, where are we?

CHELY [to WALT]:

Same place we were five minutes ago Walt, except five minutes ago you were about to make sweet passionate unrestrained love to me, and now you just want to verbally masturbate with Carmen.

WALT:

Answer my freaking question, you insolent ungrateful wench!

CARMEN"S VOICE (filtered):

Kids, is this a bad time?

CHELY [incredulously]:

KIDS?!

WALT:

She’s just trying to get a rise out of you.

CHELY:

And she has succeeded. I see no children here. This is not a kindergarten.

WALT:

Carmen, I’ll be able to report our current position when my navigator/helmsman decides she wants to resume her duties, rather than simply confining herself to responding to your asinine insult. And no, to further answer your question, this is not a bad time.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

That time of the month, Chel (pronounces like 'shell')?

CHELY:

No it is not that time of the month, but you have interrupted our foreplay AGAIN, so what is your freaking problem?

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

I have no problems--only solutions, so if you tell me your freaking position, I can let you go and you two can go back to doing whatever you want.

CHELY [after looking down at some instruments]:

We're--two clicks out of Rigel.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

What are you guys doing there?

WALT [after CHELY is at a loss for words]:

We're doing our job, Car. You of all people I thought would understand that.

CHELY [under her breath, scoffing]:

'Car?'

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Last I heard you guys were in Sector Two Ninety-Five.

WALT:

Yeah, and there's nothing in Two Ninety-Five so we decided to investigate outside of that sector.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Oh, so you decided on your own to disobey orders.

WALT:

No we had no orders to disobey so I decided to use my own initiative to carry out our mission.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Which is what, Walt?

WALT [reciting in as bored a voice as he can muster]:

To seek out new worlds, new life and new civilizations.

CHELY:

To boldy go where no man--

WALT:

--or woman--

WALT and CHELY simultaneously:

Has gone before.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

Just checking. You two have a wonderful day.

CHELY:

We will. Thanks for calling Car.

CARMEN'S VOICE (filtered):

No problem. Be sure to use a condom. Starbase out.

CHELY [after rising from her seat]:

Now where were we?

WALT [after gesturing]:

Um, Chel.

CHELY [innocently]:

What?

[Camera POV shows CHELY turning around to see deflector screens have snapped on. She sits down at her work station and reads some instruments] CHELY:

Large body ahead.

WALT:

You're kidding.

CHELY:

No I'm not. Silica based, one E. On the viewer.

[Three shot from behind them shows WALT in communications chair, CHELY in navigator/helmsman's seat and approaching planet on large 3:2 aspect ratio screen]

WALT:

Standard orbit, please.

CHELY [after touching some places on her console]:

Standard orbit, sir.

WALT [after intercom whistles again]:

And we are being hailed. [after he touches a place on his console] This is Deep Space Probe One Eighty-Seven of Spacefleet Command. We convey greetings and await your reply.

ALIEN VOICE (filtered) [in stilted, affected English]:

Hello, Walter. Time to call your mother.

WALT [after rising from his seat in anticipation]:

My mother? [to CHELY] Turn the transmission back on.

CHELY [slowly, not understanding]:

The transmission?

WALT [agitated, snapping at her]:

What you were watching before; DO IT!

CHELY [finally understanding and touching a different place on her work station]:

Yes sir.

WALT [after engaging his intercom]:

Mom? We have a problem.

[Hard cut to J-class 1967's bridge; DAISY at her work station raises a finger to her earpiece as if listening to something]

DAISY:

Captain? It's Walt, and he says he has a problem.

CAROLYN [in Captain's chair after sighing]:

Everybody, stop what you're doing--just stop. My darling baby boy is calling to say he has a problem.

HUBERT [from navigator's position, with his hand raised theatrically]:

Shall I address intercraft?

CAROLYN [to HUBERT]:

Hold on that; let me see what the problem is first.

[Hard cut to two-shot of WALT aboard DSP187 ending conversation with his mother and CHELY listening silently with no reaction at her work station, the latter occasionally glancing down at her instruments]

WALT:

No, I understand. I got it. Talk to ya later. Love you too. Bye-bye. [after touching a place on his communications work station] Mom says she's busy; is there something I can help you with?

[CHELY turns around to give WALT a withering stare]

WALT:

Uh, make that 'we;' is there anything we can help you with?

ALIEN'S VOICE (filtered) [in similar stilted, halting English]:

Please initiate passionate unrestrained intercourse with Chely.

WALT [after addressing camera and CHELY turns around and begins disrobing]:

Roger that. Sorry guys--but we gotta go.

[Fade to black]

[credits roll, end theme music plays, camera pulls back]

Directed by
Orson Welles

Screenplay by
Truman Capote and Ernest Hemingway

Story by
Dorothy Kilgallen

Based on the Epic Poem 'Paradise Lost'
By John Milton

Cinematography by
Akira Kurosawa

Art Director:
Ksenia Belaya

Assistant Art Director:
Vasilisa Shchurko

Creative Consultant:
Emily Jones

Music by
Ludwig Von Beethoven

Arranged by
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Performed by
The London Symphony Orchestra

Soundtrack available on
Columbia Records

Cameo by
Queen Noor of Jordan as the Waitress

Costumes by
Edith Head

Dance sequences staged by
Twyla Tharp

Additional choreography by
Grisha Lubov, by special permission of the Ballet Lermontov

Cameraman:
Ted Moore, BCE

All special effects courtesy of Lucasfilm LTD: Industrial Light & Magic

Read the Bantam Paperback Book; published by Bennett Cerf of Random House

The Producers wish to thank
The Royal Hashemite Monarchy of Jordan for their kind permission in access to certain forbidden Holy Lands
The Guggenheim Foundation
The World Bank
The Hague
Princess Celestia of Equestria
The Cartoon Network
The Coca-Cola Bottling Company
United Technologies
The Estate of John Updike
The Estate of Vladimir Nabokov
Lauren Faust
Rarity & Spike

The James Bond Theme is copyright United Artists and MGM Studios; here used with permission.

No animals were harmed in the making of this motion picture.

No blooper reel is available, so don't even ask.

You in the back there--pick up your popcorn!