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Published: 2014-10-26 21:28:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 1671; Favourites: 32; Downloads: 0
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Honestly, I expect they either kept a shitload of extra blades around or found a way to sharpen them at home. Still, I couldn't resist the idea of Leatherface walking into a hardware store the way regular chainsaw owners do. Doesn't everyone dismember people with them? I thought that's what they were invented for!
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (c) Tobe Hooper
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Comments: 56
Hehe! But you gotta keep them clean or the blood will corrode them. Though I'm guessing she's better about that than dear Bubba!
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Yeah, she is.... hurhurhurΒ Β
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Me: *skips over to the counter* "Oh, you don't really wanna know."
*gently elbows Bubba*
Me: "Next time, we gotta wash this."
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Hehe, best to clean up after your own murders!
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Yup!!!!! Teehee!!!! Β Β Β Β Β Β
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She doesnΒ΄t really want to know!
Best wishes,
Chris
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Nope! Better off not!
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"Come back next Tuesday. Here's your claim check."
Gets on PA System, "Mr. Krueger, your glove is ready."
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LOL, that was good!
"Mr. Vorhees! If you're going to use the machetes you have to buy them!"
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Trust me dear... you DONT want to know! 
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Well tuff tibiae bones then, LF... I mean honestly... Forgetting that blood is the most corrosive liquid to leave on iron and steels on account of hemoglobin?
Welp that might mean folks are safe for however long it takes for LF to come up with the fifty bucks for a new bar and chain.
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I forgot about the corrosive properties. That's why you clean it, Bubba.
Not long. He'll get the money somehow!
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This is hysterical. It reminds me of something I probably have seen or should be on Robot Chicken. Especially since I love the idea of horror movie villains doing mundane things that explain how they get their weapons or other tools.
*Jason Voorhees comes up to the hardware store clerk and puts his rusted machete along with a warranty on the counter. Leatherface walks by, Jason waves as if to say hello*
*Another time, Pinhead and Chatterer from Hellraiser walk up to the counter with a few chains*
Pinhead: Do you have any chains that aren't so heavy?
*Chatterer picks up a candy bar and puts it on the counter*
Pinhead: For the last time, the peanuts get stuck in your teeth.
Β
And because I went to the Alien vs. Predator horror house at Halloween Horror House...
*A Predator is dragging by a leash, a screaming Alien who's scratching at the sidewalk to escape where he's going: the Vet. The Alien is dragged into the Vet and... SNIP-SNIP*
Alien: NO!!!
*The Predator walks the Alien out, who's now whimpering with a cone around its head*
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Thank you!
Okay, all of that needs to be on Robot Chicken. It was glorious, especially the neutered alien!
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Also, I just remembered some things after rewatching some Friday the 13th movies...
*A bunch of teenagers are driving down the road*
Teenager 1: Where are we going, again?
Teenager 2: Camp Crystal Lake.
Teenager 1: Wait... Wasn't that that place where all the teenagers got killed that one time... like... every year or so?
Teenager 2:... Holy shit, you're right. What the hell was I thinking?! Let's go to that beach up north. It's a farther drive but hell, it's safer.
*Jason sees the car drive past, signaling to him that there won't be any teenagers to slaughter this year. Shrugging his shoulders, he goes back to his house, sits down on a chair, puts on reading glasses over his hockey mask, and picks up Moby Dick and reads. *
And the best way to beat Jason...
*Jason lifts up his machete to kill his next target but she just lifts up a piece of paper*
Real Estate Agent: Don't you threaten me, young man! You haven't paid the lease for these camp grounds in the last six years.
*Jason lowers his machete and takes the notice*
Real Estate Agent: As of this moment, Camp Crystal Lake is property of the bank and you have 24 hours to vacate the area. Good night!
*Texas: Next Night. Jason knocks on Leatherface's door and he answers. Jason holds up his eviction notice and Leatherface moves aside to welcome him in as if to say "You can stay for as long as you need to*.
And I can't forget the hardware store...
*Firefly walks up to the counter after Leatherface leaves and holds up 8 canteens of kerosene and a coupon*
Firefly: Yeah, I can't read the fine print. Does your store still have the buy 6 canteens of kerosene, get two half off or did that expire?
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You would think they'd shut the place down after a while... I mean it seems to happen often enough! He'd be right at home helping out the Sawyers.
Stacy: That coupon expired four months ago. ... But I'll give you the discount anyway. (Where do they all come from?!)
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Probably thinks it's not real. Or made of cow leather.
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I imagine she gets her fair share of weirdos and rude people. Hopefully no homicidal maniacs though!
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loma :- i always fix my own chainsaw 
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They would make the cutest team I swear!
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What? You never seen a chainsaw before, Lady?
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Not one covered in blood and hair!
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True! It's just that she was calling it a thingy.
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Don't question it Stacy (yes I read her name badge) just sharpen it and move on! It'll end up better for everyone.
From
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No kidding. It's best not to ask questions of the Family!
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The cashier is just like "umm.... *subtly presses panic button* You'll just have to fill out these forms..... *looks around for the police officers to arrive*
From
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TeeHee!
From
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He's been murdering people all over the place.
Btw, do you wanna see how this movie should have ended: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBgVmxβ¦
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Hehehe! Honestly running with a live chainsaw is dangerous enough. Add in someone who can turn and nail you in the nads and all bets are off!
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Leatherface! He must've recently killed a city person too with that suit and tie on.Β
There is a relative of the chainsaw called the osteome that was used to cut bone back in the
early 1830's. Β
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Dressed to kill!
Interesting! I couldn't find it on Google though, just a bunch of x-rays.
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Tha'ts because I misspelled it. I put in "Ostseome" when I should'veΒ
typed in "Osteotome"Β en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osteotomβ¦
Sorry about that.Β
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Maybe they have one on eBay or Amazon.Β
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Don't ask any questions lady! You're better off.Β
Poor Bubba. I bet he's worried about his trusty chainsaw!
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No kidding. Don't want to chili!
Leaving his baby in the hands of stranger, what could be worse?
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I love how he's all dressed up and formal XD
his tie is pretty cool...
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Suits and chainsaw murders. Hell yeah.
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In the cracks. He really should have cleaned it.
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