HOME | DD
AdmiringBeautyArt — Coming Out
by-nc
Published: 2014-07-27 09:02:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 93498; Favourites: 441; Downloads: 1343
Redirect to original
Description
Who takes time to write and read when you can look at sexy photos instead, right? You asked me why I got into this kind of photography. There are three reasons. The first reason is exactly this. I was incredibly unsuccessful as writer and I needed to something different with my creativity. The second reason was obviously that I’ve always been a pervert who’s in love with erotic photography. The third reason takes longer to explain.When I was around twenty in the late 1990ies, the internet finally arrived in my circles. Soon everybody around me was watching porn online. I was very worried. Did we not learn that "pornography is the theory; rape is the practice”? Do we not become accomplices to rape by watching porn? Do I have to face the fact that my friends and I are a bunch of rapists? How can I live with that?
So before killing all of my friends and then killing myself I decided to find out more about the "adult industry". It turned out to be a difficult field to investigate. Are the literature and the documentaries about it reliable or are they skewed? I've read everything that I could find about it, but the whole thing still remained very abstract for me.
So, becoming a “nude photographer” was my attempt to get firsthand insight into the adult industry. And it changed my worldview. I’ve listened to the stories of the women. They all said a lot of different things but they all seemed to agree on one thing: “Yes, we are suffering, but not because we are somehow forced to this work, but because society has such a huge need for it and then treats us like vermin for satisfying that need.”
This reminded me of how the gay community was able to reduce the discrimination against their members by “coming out” of the closet. If people see that someone they value is gay, they can’t treat gays like vermin anymore. So I thought maybe I could help by “coming out” as someone who watches online erotica. So I did.
It’s been a hell of a ride. Soon I got fired from my position as a teacher and I found myself with a big stamp on my forehead that said “pervert”. It’s funny how people react. Friends turned away from me, some girlfriends of my friends even said “I can’t look him in the eyes anymore.” This was particularly interesting because I knew what their boyfriends were hiding on their computers.
It’s easy to look at porn and point your finger at everything that’s wrong with it (there’s so much, right?) but it doesn’t seem to really solve the problem. It only adds to all the secrecy and shadiness about it.
So here I am. The position I find myself in is maybe not fully satisfying but it was the best thing I could do with what I had to work with. I was the only one who wanted to talk about the problems associated with porn, now I’m the only one with that stamp on my forehead. I guess I have to learn to live with it. Didn’t I always want something that would make me more attractive to potential dating partners?
Related content
Comments: 323
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
You, your models, your work, are all heroes. I raise a glass to you my friend, carry on.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Wow, that description changed my mind on this whole topic... thank you for the inspirational light.
👍: 2 ⏩: 0
Its about how you look at a picture, a nude can be both art and 'dirty' (no offense). I believe that you shoot it using an artistic view, rather than the other one so as long as you stay true to that then dont give a sh-t about the trolls that say otherwise. If you like what you do and your models like being shot they way you do then the hell with the critics (that give you negative feedback, such as 'this is a nude image, so this is porn'). Also if your friends find what you do 'shameful' then get better friends, as obviously 'adult photography' (model nudes) is obviously a business that can pay well.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Thanks.
It's fun because i follow you since a moment, and i never clic on this picture tu see what you wrote. I always think that was something funny, but it's very deep.
It's very fun again because 2 years ago, i wrote something about the sexy photos on my blog. I made myself a sort of coming out as a pervert. for me, erotics photos are something that keep me away from stress like a zen prayer. I don't expect something more and I stay with my foot on the reality. for example only my girlfriend is in my fantasies (and my heart obviously).
I see you as a master painter. Your photos are very beautiful, sexy, erotic, attractive and many more, but they are not vulgar. I love the way you use light, poses, colors... plus, I respect your a lot for the fair trade nude label because it's something important.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Very interesting read. You are a professional more than anything though.
I've looked up to your work for years now, but I guess maybe because I'm a man, never really judge it.
But I agree with your words completely, and have massive respect for you and your work.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Bro
Theres nothing wrong with being nude photographer n on top of that what happens to raped women is non of our business +
Since you are in porn industry you know rough brutal porn type where even civilians are cornered they can't even complain
Point being
I enjoy watching beauty shows
Ye you will get criticized like a criminal or something
But i don't think so
So should you
-Fellow pervert
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
LOL! The stamp on your forehead is funny XD
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
we are humans...for as female is the most beautiful thing on that planet ! pervert is good.....! hypocrisy is bad....!
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
We are just a men ... Who love womans ...
I think "perverse" is being more unhealthy than what you do ...
For me you just beautify the girls with your SONY Camera
And you do this very well !
It is not vulgar, it's fine thank you
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Dude you're the man for telling it like it is!
Also you like that guy from the first Ghostbuster's movie. The guy who pulls the lever and releases all those ghosts from that massive hard drive.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
It's sad to hear you still seem to have struggles because of your "coming out" whereas it is SO "popular" to see porn nowadays. I have to admit I am a bit careful near men that "like porn" but not as in, I detest them when I see they like or watch erotic stuff, even if it's a computer background of a half naked lady or posters... More if it's like one of the first things you get to know of them, because that is kind of like a sign they might be a bit weird about the topic.
In general it's important now for our society to learn how to correctly deal with stuff like porn. As you said it already became popular when the Internet started to be available for most of the people. And so nowadays it is such a normal thing and also easy to reach for everyone, also kids. So instead of saying "Eww, porn is a taboo" and making the small ones even more interested in it and maybe learning false stuff from it, it would be much safer to openly talk about it so everyone knows that porn is not reality, it's not rape and it's definitely no standard or something (because I heard kids are starting to "sell" stuff for blowjobs already, just because they watched porn secretly and think it's pretty normal to do that.)
When I think about it, the people that are so conservative are the reason for oversexualisation. A few years ago i didn't think of a butt to me something sexual. But now that it's all over the media and people are like "How dare she expose her butt like that?" and when you just go along you find yourself be like "Yeah how dare she". Even though some years ago it wouldnt have been that much of a deal for you.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Any woman can understand a man/boy's fascination with her likeness if explained artfully - after all, we men do crave the company of a woman like it's a special hunger. I used to view photography like yours purely sexually but after an internal change, I pick up more expression in it. A woman should feel as free as she wants with her beauty and a man should be liberal in praising it.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
I've been called a pervert for having (mildly) nude art that has a great deal of other fascinating artistic aspects and qualities. The nudity was not the point of the art, merely a part of it. Someone I knew saw it and called me a pervert. As far as I'm concerned, people like that are the perverts. Apparently, they cannot see or appreciate past a naked body: it becomes all-important to them. For me, it is only one facet of the jewel. So I feel rather sorry for people like that: they are apparently stuck staring unhappily at a nude body, while I am experiencing universes beyond their comprehension.
Great essay, and compliments on your courage.
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
The picture is great, but the text is amazing. You know, I do not have porn on my computer. Do you know why? Cause it's all there. Links are in my mind as the word is on your forehead. Beautiful works. Congratulations.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
If I were being honest, I'd have that and 'Poor Impulse Control' on my forehead. However it's my view that a better (global) society would be more accepting, and find nothing wrong at all with the human body and whatever forms of (non-lethal) consensual kink people want to practice.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
The interesting thing is, though clearly erotic, your eye and art are so refined that it transcends the merely perverted. All subject to perspective, I'm sure. I am a porn addict. I love porn. Not all porn, mind you, but huge swaths of it, from the artsy and coy to the disturbingly fetish. I suppose I'm not a good judge of what perverted means anymore. I will say this, though: I have seen many of your models photographed by others, most of which was only for porn and didn't do the girls' beauty the justice that one can see your appreciation for. There's a place for that, but I will always be in awe of artists such as yourself.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
I really appreciate your honesty and open thoughts about this. I wish there could be more of a dialog that was on that level. Honest and open. There are countless points of view, and I'm not going to express mine except to say that as an amateur artist and professional designer I appreciate the technical and, to some degree, artistic level of your work. It is of a very high quality and you are excellent at what you do. Everyone will have a different perspective on the value but I for one appreciate it for what it is. Modelling is not an easy job, and photography of this level is certainly not easy. Kudos to you and your craft. And while the models may have a tough time of it, I am sure they appreciate working with you.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
I never read an explanation like this... it is very interesting... is human nature I guess to finger point someone for take away the look of others
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
I've debated my mother tentatively on subjected related to porn and porn it self. I believe she is swayed but is never likely to be a user of it. Parents are a good place to start when exposing your true self. I would warrant that there are secrets worth keeping but by in large if you can not be open with them you can't possibly ever be fully open with others.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
tell me about it, i didn't even realize how the world takes advantage of this kind of industry but throws it back in its face after its done with it. like, whats the point of it even existing if we're all going to pretend it doesn't exist?
when i first found this guy and saw the photos, the first thing that came to mind wasn't porn (not even remotely near it, so basically he's doing something right here) what it did remind me of was several classes of art study that i took in late high school and college. my professors took up pin ups and landscapes of women nude, and while it was uncomfortable at first. i eventually stopped looking at it as nudity and more as a way to express the human body as well as the beauty of trying to recreate it. to this day i still suck at drawing but i do have better skills then when i went into it.
these girls remind me alot of that drawing class, so thanks for allowing us to see the art in this kind of photography
👍: 1 ⏩: 2
But I won't myself say it is a shame, I really do love what Stefangrosjean do, and that story... If I were an artist I could have write it... I think it would have been the same for me, who knows...
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
that is the point my friend, everybody don't see it as we do, and we didn't looked at it as art in the first time. Furthermore, Stefangrosjean had the chance to work with Elizabeth Ryan who is a porn actress of sort. So my own vision is different from yours. That's why and how we (meaning mankind) can say it's a shame and love it.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
i dont see why you have been "incredibly unsuccessful as writer" because what i read here is a gem.
Not to mention you have just combined intelligence with honesty. A great combination indeed my friend.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
This is why I want to see your work: your take on this specific corner of the world. I follow you from now to see what you see.
Show me your world.
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Its just a matter of definition. Porn is capturing, whether real or simulated, the sexual act. Erotica is creating a eros response to art. Your stills are not porn but erotic art.
Something that is considered to be erotic, could be anything. It doesn't have to confined to nude forms. Whereas porn is just that - fucking bodies.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I love your story. Mine isn't the same but I'm slowly building into my circle of friends and family via my pinups. The best lawyers can't change someone's mind, but if we can slowly encourage the acceptance of nude art and pin ups, hopefully we can expect pacifism from people who are ignorant of the industry (instead of outright rejection). My dad is still vary against all things porn related because he views it as bad, but mostly because he's council young boys who got themselves addicted to porn and found themselves wanting to go after the lone girl in the parking lot; he won't change his mind after hearing stories like that. I still see it as a vice, no different from craving a certain food or cigarette because it plays on basic instinct (especially with teenage boys who haven't got their hormones quite figured out). We can only try.
Love your art! The girls are gorgeous and not overly "corrected." I might use a couple photos for my anatomy drawing and background practice but I won't post them or sell them because they are yours.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Your photos are incredibly well done & tasteful. You should be proud! I would say put your nose in the air and say you can't look them in the eye because you find them too unsophisticated and ignorant. Humans like those are easily manipulated, and are only acting how they think they should. They will follow whatever trend a confident artist sets.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I still feel guilty about drawing porn as a job. It's like selling alcoholic beverage, some will drink moderately and others will destroy their lives. Empty relationships are born and others unhealthy behavior. It gets to a point that they can't tell reality from fantasy and shit happens.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
There are lots of people who enjoy porn who totally respect the people in the pictures or videos, and have respect for their fellow human beings. While some porn is problematic not all of it is. What is the intent when you create porn? Are you creating it to demean or dehumanize someone? Or are you creating it for fun and enjoyment? It's all about context. The person who distills an alcoholic beverage isn't responsible for those who abuse what they create.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I create for fun(the fun of drawing comics - better if it was clean) and to attend a demand... dehumanizing fantastic characters may be part of the demand. That's how things go.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
How is it dehumanizing? Fantasy =/= reality. By drawing porn you're not actually drawing real people. You're not doing anything to anyone. If people can't tell the difference between art and real life that's their hang up not yours.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Well tell that to the court after drawing underage characters in porn. It's not real people, but you go jail as same as if was.
It's not about what's real, it's the context that matters.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I think I have the same label on my head too!
Good luck in your chosen artistic medium, I love your work.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Great story, i loved reading it!
keep it going Stefan.. i'm a big fan of your photography.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Everyone has their perversions or delusions. You're comfortable with sharing yours with everyone else, while the rest of society tries to pretend perversion doesn't exist.
-A fellow pervert, but not labeled so
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
You know, I found you here after I read an article of you in some magazine about the milk bathtub shoot. I thought the picture was great and I liked how you wrote the article, very professionally and just seeing the model as a subject.
I find photography to be a difficult field sometimes, nude especially. There is a lot of beauty in naked bodies and there are a lot of aspects to it. Treating the models with respect is my highest goal, even though I usually don't shoot nude and I have not had a paid shoot in that area yet.
Somehow it's strange how writers like Jack Ketchum or Stephen King do not get labeled as psychopaths just as often as nude and erotic photographers are labeled perverts. I'd actually say you do similar things. You create an imaginary scenario and illustrate it with tools, like lights, composition, angle, etc. instead of pen and paper.
There are many photographers out there that can capture stunning, intimate, erotic, nude pieces and few who actually try to exploit the model - photographer relationship.
I hope you continue to produce content and pursue your dreams, models deserve respect no matter what facet of the business they work in.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>