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ahhwalkinghazard β€” The Prince of Roses
Published: 2010-08-10 02:57:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 324; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 1
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Description I see you whirling in the darkest edges lightly 'cross the ground,
Your long hair veils your fair face, o'er shoulders cascading down,
You the Prince of Roses and I the tyrant Queen,
You pass me with an airy smile, a tepid seventeen,
The female aristocracy awaits your glove-clad hand,
A dance with you is all they wish, turning with this band,
Your eyes they pass from face to face, only to cast down,
That look of hope, a subtle prayer, a silent noble frown,
I despise your splendour, weighted brow, pale divinity,
Those lips that spark a thousand dreams with child-like fantasy,
Another noble you enthuse with steps as soft as air,
I sit in silence, now released… I wonder if I dare,
The boldest tyrant, put to fear by dainty boyish hands,
I race down from the marble front, 'til a-front me you stand,
A scarlet red I flush and an iron brow I bend,
I bite my lip, the silence speaks, I dare to comprehend,
"Why will you not dance with me?! You, Prince of Roses fair!"
You laugh at me, dismiss that maid, and brush aside your hair,
You bend low like a gentleman and take my hand to kiss,
"For you sat high on heaven's gate, this marble barred our tryst,
Will you, Tyrant Queen of Glass, but bless me with this dance?"
I stepped aback, gracing you with a bewildered stubborn glance,
And as you lead me through the crowd they parted at the sight,
Of you and I prepared to waltz, together on this night,
The Tyrant Queen and the Prince of Roses, hand in hand, heart to heart,
And e'er since that hour we have sworn ne'er to part.
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Comments: 15

prettyflour [2013-04-15 22:50:03 +0000 UTC]

This has been featured in the blog!

[link]

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harliequin [2010-08-22 18:05:40 +0000 UTC]

Lately I haven't really been inclined to reading rhyming poetry. But I really like the imagery you've been using. This piece is very pretty and the tempo of it is smooth except the last two lines.

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ahhwalkinghazard In reply to harliequin [2010-08-22 19:27:43 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much

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ahhwalkinghazard In reply to ahhwalkinghazard [2010-08-22 19:32:39 +0000 UTC]

Haha and yes.. I have problems with finishing lines, so I'll have to work on that ^_^

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uniquePoetry [2010-08-10 03:32:24 +0000 UTC]

Your boyfriend is really lucky because this poem take your breath away reading. Your very good at being descriptive. While reading the picture paint in my head of your poem was so fully of color and life. Keep writing like this and you'll go far. Amazing work

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ahhwalkinghazard In reply to uniquePoetry [2010-08-10 04:27:38 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very very much!

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uniquePoetry In reply to ahhwalkinghazard [2010-08-10 15:45:21 +0000 UTC]

your welcome

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KeanuWantRoomService [2010-08-10 03:12:34 +0000 UTC]

You have a very good piece here: great structure, great rhyme scheme.

The only thing I see wrong with it is that line fifteen is an orphan. No rhyme for bend.

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ahhwalkinghazard In reply to KeanuWantRoomService [2010-08-10 04:27:21 +0000 UTC]

!! I orphaned a rhyme T_T I will look into correcting this,thank you! <3

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KeanuWantRoomService In reply to ahhwalkinghazard [2010-08-10 04:35:25 +0000 UTC]

No prob~ Let me know when you find it a partner!

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ahhwalkinghazard In reply to KeanuWantRoomService [2010-08-11 02:06:55 +0000 UTC]

I have remedied the orphan line Let me know if you think it fits. Sometimes when you go back to fix a structural error you compromise the content, lemmie know if I was silly enough to do such a thing ^_^;;

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KeanuWantRoomService In reply to ahhwalkinghazard [2010-08-11 03:40:33 +0000 UTC]

I do like what you have done to it. It fixes the structure without compromising the piece.

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ahhwalkinghazard In reply to KeanuWantRoomService [2010-08-11 04:07:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much, you've been very helpful and very kind n_n <3

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KeanuWantRoomService In reply to ahhwalkinghazard [2010-08-11 04:08:24 +0000 UTC]

No problem. No problem at all~

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ahhwalkinghazard In reply to KeanuWantRoomService [2010-08-10 04:50:21 +0000 UTC]

I shall indeed n_n

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