Comments: 15
prettyflour [2013-04-15 22:50:03 +0000 UTC]
This has been featured in the blog!
[link]
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harliequin [2010-08-22 18:05:40 +0000 UTC]
Lately I haven't really been inclined to reading rhyming poetry. But I really like the imagery you've been using. This piece is very pretty and the tempo of it is smooth except the last two lines.
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ahhwalkinghazard In reply to ahhwalkinghazard [2010-08-22 19:32:39 +0000 UTC]
Haha and yes.. I have problems with finishing lines, so I'll have to work on that ^_^
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KeanuWantRoomService [2010-08-10 03:12:34 +0000 UTC]
You have a very good piece here: great structure, great rhyme scheme.
The only thing I see wrong with it is that line fifteen is an orphan. No rhyme for bend.
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KeanuWantRoomService In reply to ahhwalkinghazard [2010-08-11 03:40:33 +0000 UTC]
I do like what you have done to it. It fixes the structure without compromising the piece.
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