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Amandadear — The Opaque Box

Published: 2006-11-01 00:01:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 171; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description Me.
The box is opaque.
It holds much, releases little.
Full.
The box is full.
Much to share it has, but no one can see.
Mercy.
Pain.
Hope.
Pleasure.
All is contained within the box.
It longs to be clear, it longs to be be broken.
Forced.
Trying.
From the inside, it pushs outward.
The box that contains me is so fragile.
To me the box still impossible to escape.
There is so much more unrevealed.
I struggle with self.
Let it be free, still to keep it in I try.
Painful.
Stretched, not broken.
Praying.
No answer.
Wait.
Maybe I just dont like it.
The answer.
Smash the box.
Shatter.
Set me free.
Tears.
Freedom.
At last only through death.
I am free.
Broken.
The secrets are out.
The opaque box called me, is broken.
Finally.
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Comments: 17

Creamlistner11092 [2007-03-05 06:15:03 +0000 UTC]

I like! It flows well, step by step, very nice!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to Creamlistner11092 [2007-03-05 15:53:52 +0000 UTC]

thank you

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Gnyce [2006-12-19 04:32:55 +0000 UTC]

'Ey, this is nice. You already know what I said about it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to Gnyce [2006-12-19 04:34:12 +0000 UTC]

yes, thank you

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

cloverkrismayan [2006-12-07 08:52:57 +0000 UTC]

It is simple, yet it gives powerful message and imagery. Keep up on good work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to cloverkrismayan [2006-12-08 02:20:17 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so kindly!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

primroselust [2006-12-06 20:39:52 +0000 UTC]

Very nice XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to primroselust [2006-12-06 20:42:08 +0000 UTC]

Thank you SO much!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

originalnasadude [2006-11-04 06:36:17 +0000 UTC]

This one is really cool. But it seems suicidal in a way...but it could be about losing your virginity too.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to originalnasadude [2006-11-04 06:37:11 +0000 UTC]

Hmmm....but I have neither issues.... dont know what thats about. lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

m4nti [2006-11-03 01:20:25 +0000 UTC]

this poem is great. the irregularity and the one-word verses... really add a certain sense of depression/breakdown (lol) (in a good sense of course, coz feeling trapped is what you're trying to convey here).

i love it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to m4nti [2006-11-03 01:21:00 +0000 UTC]

THANK YOU!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

L0rre [2006-11-02 23:24:17 +0000 UTC]

The tempo, at least at which I read the poem, was very smooth. The one word thoughts gave a certain feeling of psychological distress that I enjoyed very much. Very well conveyed.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to L0rre [2006-11-03 00:56:22 +0000 UTC]

I did good(yey), I am happy.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

RyanBooth [2006-11-01 20:47:03 +0000 UTC]

Nicely written and very deep....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Amandadear In reply to RyanBooth [2006-11-01 21:04:09 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RyanBooth In reply to Amandadear [2006-11-01 21:05:16 +0000 UTC]

Your welcome

👍: 0 ⏩: 0