HOME | DD

andyending — holy
#honesty #love #poetry #writerscommunity #poetryfreeverse #writingcommunity #poetrycommunity #poetryforhumans
Published: 2020-02-14 12:34:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 128; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description i had always thought that a name not uttered was either holy
        or evil
        but i’m in a room full of people and no one dares to say her name and i don't think she's holy
        or evil
        but maybe she is—holy,
        that is.
        it’s fitting, too.
        her.
        the holy girl everyone thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

i had always thought that a name not uttered was either holy
        or evil
        but i’m in a room full of people and no one says her name and i don't think she's holy
        or evil
        or maybe she is—holy 
        holy girl you both thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

        and maybe that's why no one says her name.
        because then we'd have to talk about the shame,
        too.
Related content
Comments: 4

Lycaenyx [2020-02-17 13:04:40 +0000 UTC]

and maybe that's why no one says her name.
because then we'd have to talk about the shame,
too.

I love that closing

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

andyending In reply to Lycaenyx [2020-02-18 16:20:35 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.  

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Berried-Lark [2020-02-14 19:33:39 +0000 UTC]

Something that fascinates me is reading this aloud and wondering how you're separating the sounds, or in what way you expect the reader to parse it. 

So it's first going:
"but maybe she is—holy, 
 that is."

I'm reading the first line in full and pause with the comma. Sounds nice.

Then it comes back to that line:
"or maybe she is—holy 
holy girl..."

On this I can't help but attach the two holy's, like in a single breath, because it's as if you're emphasizing that she is holy, and you've figured out that fact by the end of the poem.

Maybe I'm explaining a very obvious thing, but I think that bit of wording is what makes this one for me. Passion in repetition and what not. Quite effective.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

andyending In reply to Berried-Lark [2020-02-16 20:31:25 +0000 UTC]

I don't think you're explaining a very obvious thing. I actually really like reading that you really understand this piece. The first holy was more a 'question' to me, for which I added 'that is', to stress that she is but nobody, including me, thinks that or had thought about that. But yeah, "and you've figured out that fact by the end of the poem" is what it's all about, or at least the message I'm giving to the reader, which is why the part about the shame comes after that second holy. 

Anywho or anyhow, thank you so much for taking the time to think about this and voice those thoughts. I genuinely enjoy that.   

👍: 0 ⏩: 0