HOME | DD

angrymeatball — A Choice Made Well
Published: 2008-10-17 02:46:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 91; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description That’s it, I silently decided.  I’d go back and tell her how I felt.  I was horribly nervous.  My entire body was shaking.  I opened the door of the gym and prepared myself to speak, but I stopped.  She was sitting there, against one wall.  But she wasn’t alone.  She was resting her head on James’ shoulder, their hands clasped together tightly between them.  I shut down.  From that single image, a flood of emotions rushed through me.  Pain, rage, depression, anger, regret, and ones I don’t even have a name for, all flooding my mind at the same time.  I stood, unable to move while my brain process what I saw.  Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.  
“This was one of the best days I’ve ever had,” James said.  
“I know,” Abby agreed.  “I just wish that the dance could have gone on longer.”  
Longer.  That word brought me back to the real world.  The word echoed in my ears, and I found myself faced with a difficult choice.  One the one hand, I loved her with every fiber of my being, and would do anything within my power to make her happy.  On the other hand, I so wanted that happiness to include me.  But I knew what I had to do, and it was definitely within my power.  
I went back into the hallway and into the room behind the gym, where the dance’s sound system was set up.  I found the play list that had been used earlier and set it up to play, but I added a song to the beginning: Don McLean’s “American Pie”.  I pressed play and stepped into the gym.  The two of them looked surprised at the music, which started of soft and slow.  James saw me and gave me a quizzical look.  I mimed dancing, and the song sped up.  They looked at each other, smiled and got up and started to dance.  James nodded in my direction and mouthed “Thanks”.  But then Abby looked at me and did something she hadn’t done in a long time.  She smiled.  But not just any smile, she smiled the smile that made me fall in love with her in the first place.  
I watched the two of them for a moment until my heart couldn’t take it anymore and I left.  As I started my long walk home, I thought about what had just happened.  Then I did something I never thought I would do: I cried.  I cried because it hurt like nothing I’d ever felt before, because I lost what I didn’t have in the first place.  But most of all I cried because no matter how I looked at it, no matter what I said to myself, nothing made what I did any less the right thing to do.
Related content
Comments: 0