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ARVEN92 β Chakra -B.O.T. Page 140
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Published: 2013-10-12 08:51:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 27655; Favourites: 476; Downloads: 0
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Cover: [link]
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French Version / Version française: [link] by/par
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Pageeeee! WHOAAAA ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY. That is A LOT.
Long time no see, eh?
So, we left with a question: which Hero would Led choose to go rescue C.Y., Cheetah, Kuma or Hielo?
Many, many MANY of you said it would be Kuma, and only a small number of people said it would be Hielo
So, congrats to who guessed Hielo! He is the correct answer!And hey it's okay, Led gave Kuma another duty anyway. No joke this time, Cheetah is literally freezing over, so Kuma is best suited to warm him up.
The last panel was a pain, but I like the final effect
What do you think of the underwater? Does it look good enough? And what about C.Y.? Where is she? O.O
SOON.
Coloured Pencils on A4 Paper.
Several hours.
Characters and art (c)
I want to improve, I greatly appreciate feedback and constructive criticism regarding anatomy, page flow and overall composition. Thank you!
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Comments: 450
My, thanks so much for this critique^^
I agree with you, the characters sure look like they're standing in the water, especially in 1st panel XD I'll make sure to avoid this mistake! Also thanks for the references! those pictures are lovely and very helpful!
Also thanks for the tips about the clouds, and for the wet fur
Truly thanks a lot again!
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No problem, I love the comics
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My, thanks! I'm honoured you do!
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Well, Arven, you've done is again. Made me fall in love with another one of your comic pages. I know I haven't reviewed one in a while, so... yea, here's you go!
Vision
First, areas that need improvement, as always. First panel, the ocean looks pretty cool. But there are some size problems. Cheetah is always portrayed as small and lithe, and this is shown decently well here. But Kuma and Hielo have some problems. With Kuma, he seems very small, not as large as he should. He's supposed to be almost giant, but here he seems about the same size as Hielo. I can understand him looking dry, though, he is a fire element, so that should keep him warm and dry enough. Hielo seems quite small, too. Cheetah is based after a cheetah, so he's supposed to be very lean and somewhat small. Hielo has always been portrayed as about the same size as Led, maybe a little bigger. But all three look about the same size.
Second panel, it all looks pretty good, but the water on Led's nose should be a little darker, because as is, it stands off awkwardly. Also, Led should be a little bigger, and Orca's ear looks very pointy and cat-like.
Third panel, the same size problems.. Cheetah looks good, Hielo and Kuma need to be bigger, especially since Hielo is closest to the screen.
Fourth panel, the underwater looks good, but where there's a line of water pretty pararell, that should be more zig-zaggy, considering it's a stormy ocean. Also, as Hielo's body goes farther from the screen, it should become more unseen. Water is generally like that unless it is crystal clear. The same goes for Kuma, he shouldn't be seen underwater from that distance. Hielo's head might have also benefitted from being a little bigger, same with his visible forepaw.
Now for good things- and there's a lot. Most of the fur looks very wet. The foam looks good, it's nice to see you've improved on it. Led's expression is amazing, he looks brave and serious, but you can see he is worried. In fact, most of the expressions are very good! Kuma's disappointed face is one of the highlights, he looks like he's disappointed and worried, but doesn't want to complain. The details on the last panel are really cool. The sky is interesting to look at, and the underwater effects are awesome, you captures the motion and bubbles well.
Overall, vision gets 3.5 stars for being pretty cool but also having a lot of size issues.
Originality
It's pretty original. I feel a little like I've seen the general idea before, but it's still a good idea. Not much to say, 4.5 stars.
Technique
I'm always in love with your technique. Here especially, the colored pencils are really well blended and pretty to look at. The foam is a good technique, though it looks a little much. Tone it down just a tad. Like, this much |--|. 4 stars for being a good idea but just a little difficult to master.
Impact
The expressions are extremely well done, and therefore have a greater impact. Hielo's determination shows through, Orca's pain, Kuma's disappointment, and so on. The whole pack is somewhat lost without CY, and it really shows. 5 stars, considering I can't find anything bad with it.
Overall
Overall, you did a very good job on this page, though I have mixed feelings towards the visionary aspect. Another great page down, and another one to come soon, I should hope!
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My, thank you SO much for this amazing critique, I'm absolutely honoured you took your time to write it!
I agree with you about their sizes being inconsistent throughout this page XD Kuma is indeed the biggest of the three, followed by Hielo and then Cheetah
And thanks for pointing out the water on Led's muzzle as well XD I was sure something didn't look right, I didn't realize it was the water :'D Led looks funny with that white on his face! And also about Orca, thanks a lot^^ The ear was not supposed to be pointy, I actually intended to make it look like it was behind Led's head
I also agree about the water in last panel 
And thanks so much for liking the expressions and the wet effects! I loved adding those, working with paint sure is fun^^ I'll make sure not to overdo it though, as I can see I'm exaggerating with it XD
Truly thanks a ton again for this beautiful critique, I love it! <3
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Your welcome, babe. You know I love writing them, and you can expect another one tomorrow!
Β
I honestly love your water effects XD. If I were sponging paint onto it, I'd so go overboard just as well. I get everything you're saying, and I hope I helped! I probably wouldn't point out everything and sometimes I feel a little bad about it, but a lot of your critiques don't seem to point out anything that needs improvement, and while I love your work and I hope you know how much you inspire and amaze me, I understand the need to improve, and so I hope to help you do just that. I do try, at the same time, to encourage you and praise you, and you are a brilliant artist.
It's my pleasure, honestly. I love critiquing, whenever I get a chance. Love your artwork! <3
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Oh my, awesome!
Hey no problems, you don't have to feel bad about it, I actually appreciate that you point out my mistakes
That's really kind of you to say, truly thank you a lot for it! Thank you a lot a million times! <3
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I love this page! the audience can clearly see that the characters cant see anything. The wet fur on the wolves was great, but if they were all wet then kuma's mane should look heavy. On the last panel, the anatomy on the paws were amazing! The only things you should work on, should be the water, you dont have to put too much white in it. But the details were AWESOME! The single fur strands were a good detail and the water drops on led. the Bubbles were very realistic, plus, the anatomy of the legs. The colors on your comic are getting sooo much better than the first pages.
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My, truly thanks a lot hun^^
I'm happy you like the page!
And I agree, Kuma's mane should weigh a lot more, all wet D8
And thanks for the tip on the water too!
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thanks for liking my critique
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I would have been like "Hell yeah im Crazy" and carried dem both
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Wow you are excellent with traditional water foam!
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I start to get the feeling that Kuma is the one who wants to prove himself...
And how do you get those awesome water effects? o.O
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True that...
Hoho thanks! i use white paint for the sprays of foam and pencils for the water itself^^
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I just realized that Kuma and Hielo look like puppies in the first panel and ITS SO CUTE
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I really like Hielo's design : D Also I want to say that I really admire emotion expression of characters.
Two questions:
- Why names in polish language? I'm wondering about that : D
- Are all characters wolves or they're hybrids of different species? I'm thinking about it because of Cheetah : p
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My,Β Thank you very much, I'm happy you like my characters' expressions^^
Hoho, to answer the questions:
- I really love Polish language! <3 For my comic, I chose names from all over the world (for example Hielo is spanish for Ice, and Tiikeri is Finnish for Tiger), but Polish in particular is a language that I really love and I wish I could learn <3
- Some characters are full wolves (like C.Y. and Kuma), while others are half wolves, half the animal they represent (like the Zodiac Demons, and Cheetah too
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Thank you for all your answers! I wish you luck if you'll learn Polish someday ; )
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Hoho no problem! and thanks a lot! <3
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How did you do that white part on the water? It looks icy, so no wonder Cheetah's so cold!Β
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I used a brush and white acrylic paint for it^^
Yeah, it sure is cold D8
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omg the last slide is amazing Β Β the water is so detailed and well done Β Β and kumas face in the first slide
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Aww thank you so much ^^
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Lovely work on sea art and splashes, it really looks like a storm!
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wow, i just can't remember how long it's been since i followed your story from page 1!
btw this page is really impressive, did you use cotton to color the tip of the waves?
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Whoa, thank you a lot! 8D I'm so happy you're still following it since then, it's been so long! <3
Hoho close^^ I used a soft brush for them
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yeah, i have been long gone from deviant art, but once i got back and saw your post, i spend the whole night reading from where i got left behind XD
and why shouldn't i follow it, you have both good story and good art, i wouldn't want to miss it
aah i see XD
lol i have so many things to learn.
recently i started college, and i entered animation school.
what i don't really understand is we have to learn from the basic of the basic, like coloring picture and stuff.
my last assignment was to recolor a poster, i chose "Spirit : stallion of cimarron".
and boy do i despise poster colors now XD
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OMG sorry for late reply ;;
Aww thank you a bunch for saying that, truly <3
And hey, that sounds really good^^ It's okay that you started from the beginning, I guess they do that to put everyone on the same level and start teaching them from there
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lol it's okay, i'm pretty slow too.
and you're welcome, i'm just saying it because it's true
and yeah well, it's okay that they put us in the same level and teach us all equals, i kinda like it.
but i think that some topics are something that we don't need XD
and they just put it in there to gain more money
we actually had to buy a GIANT book, and didn't use it in the end, lol XD
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I agree
My, that sucks though, considering how expensive books are lately
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yesh! *q*
you understand it perfectly!!
i'd rather buy an artbook that i can use for reference to draw than buying a giant text book that will never be used
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also, I love hielo's face in the first panel, he reminds me of a Siamese cat
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And hoho, thanks again XD He gives me the same impression XD
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i love the underwater effect in the last panel
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I just realized something funny...you said that supposedly Kuma has a crush on CY (although he really hasn't showed it much if you aren't looking for it), and he looks really disappointed--or maybe just really worried--when he's not picked to go find her. Coincidence? I think not!
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Hoho, well spotted! That may be right
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