Comments: 10
uxv In reply to AthenrilTheThief [2013-01-27 12:07:10 +0000 UTC]
There are a few issues about the Pilgrimages I didn't understand. It's that on one hand they have unclear requirements, that you have to achieve "something worthy" and on the other hand there is a strict punishment for failing this vague task. Who determines what's considered worthy ? And what if there's a dispute? Also, if you failed your Pilgrimage, would you return to your village, knowing you'll be punished? I probably wouldn't .
And from a practical standpoint, I'm not sure it's in the best interest of the community to send their young people away - there's a big chance they won't return, whether due to them settling somewhere else or something happening to them. Young people, entering the productive age are a valuable commodity, even orphans .
But the people in your story don't necessarily have to think in practical terms, so these are not really issues with your story, I'm just wondering about these things. Also most readers might not see the above as issues anyway .
I'm sorry I can't be more constructive regarding this, maybe I'm missing the purpose the Pilgrimage will play in your story, or maybe I just don't have the imagination for this .
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uxv In reply to AthenrilTheThief [2013-01-27 16:48:33 +0000 UTC]
Perhaps just to get their name into your comments area, to make their account more visible? Or hoping you would comment/fave one of their artworks, to make them seem more important ? I'm not saying you or I would do such a thing, or even that I've seen it happen here, but it's possible, don't you think so?
Because I'm used to give constructive criticism in a way that not only points out problems, but also suggests possible ways to fix them. And here I only did the former.
But yes, while I'd like to discuss your story, it's not appropriate for me to enter your creative process. But it's a thin line to walk and sometimes I might overstep it .
Like I said, I think explaining later is a valid reply and yes we don't want to ruin the plot . Perhaps from this point of view, it would be better for me to wait with my comments until your story is finished. On the other hand, I'd hope you enjoy discussing it even while writing .
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AthenrilTheThief In reply to uxv [2013-01-27 17:50:55 +0000 UTC]
Yes, I consider it quite possible. I may have seen it here before but then I saw previous comments on the piece, which were quite constructive and well, I think that the people who unfortunately got to comment later just agreed with these but haven't got anything to add from themselves while everything else seemed all right (aaand they felt the urge to leave some sort of opinion to praise the piece of writing ).
Don't worry about it. If you overstep this delicate line, it's no big deal really, since I'm not a professional (or a novelist in this case), in fact I'm in the beginner area , I'd definitely use some guidelines.
Don't wait with the comments! It's good to have someone with a clear mind to drag me away from the story and show me how does it sound to them and point out the parts I should think over. Also, like I mentioned before, I don't mind the suggestions, I find them really helpful. It makes me consider some parts I may have missed while typing it all out. I may not use all the advice wherever it's mentioned but it will help me focus on certain areas in the following chapters.
And yes of course, I do indeed enjoy discussing these while still writing.
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