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Audax-Nox — Nox-Part III
by-nc-nd
Published: 2007-10-15 03:58:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 363; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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She shook her head. It was a subtle motion, but I noticed it immediately. Maybe she was affected by my presence.“No. No, I’ll start.”
She adjusted the microscope, studying the slide. “Prophase.”
I chuckled. She said it so confidently. Was she merely trying to impress me by saying the first cell phase that came to mind or did she truly know what she was talking about?
It was strange for me to have so many question about a person’s response. This didn’t happen. If I was able to read her mind…
This would be a lot easier.
“May I see?” I reached out my hand to stop her from moving the slide and experienced the most remarkable sensation of my existence.
I truly had never felt anything like it. It wasn’t just the texture of her hand-her soft skin, the sheer warmness and vitality of it, but something stronger than that, it was like I had spent the previous years merely passing through, just muddling along, never really realizing I wasn’t fully awake.
I was now.
The urge to take her was still there. I wanted her blood, I still fought that urge even satiated. But there was something else, something deeper than blood lust.
I shook it off. Impossible. I had not had human contact in so long, it must merely be that.
I knew I was lying.
I looked at her-part of myself hoping that she had felt the same spark, the other part hoping that it was merely my imagination.
There was nothing there, except for a blush to her cheeks. The monster raged at the obvious showing of her blood, but I felt my hope fall. She taken her hand away the second it had touched mine. She was repulsed, obviously.
There was nothing there.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. God-if she only knew how much! I’m sorry for being a monster. I’m sorry for repulsing you. I’m sorry that no matter what I do, it seems to make you hate me more.
I pulled the microscope towards me, hoping that she wouldn’t notice the fact that I didn’t need to adjust it at all, hoping she wouldn’t realize the fact that I was a monster who could see two hundred times better than she could.
“Prophase,” I murmured. She was right. It was terrible to me to even think it, but I was slightly surprised Most students had such trouble with the concept, for reasons beyond my comprehension. Perhaps they simply didn’t look hard enough at the details.
It seemed obvious to me.
I wrote the answer on the sheet, hoping to get this lab over with.
I went onto the next slide, murmuring to myself the answer. I had almost forgotten she was there-the allure was most definitely there, but school made me go into an automatic state.
“May I?” came a tight voice.
I had to smile. She was affected. It wasn’t just me. There was something comforting about it, knowing that I wasn’t alone in feeling something so thoroughly strange.
I slid her the microscope, careful not to touch her again. I wasn’t sure what would happen if I did.
When she bent down to look at the slide, her hair fell in front of her, intoxicating me with her scent once again. I felt my hands grip into fists. I had to conquer this impulse.
Her brow furrowed when she realized I was right. It concerned her immensely, apparently, that I was right. I wrote the answer down, taking her disconcertment as agreement. She held her hand out, apparently expecting me to hand her the next slide. I obliged her, putting it into her hands carefully. She declared it to be interphase, passing me the microscope before I even had a chance to recover for the renewed force of her scent.
Now that the lab was done I went back to my original plan of trying to figure out Bella Swan. It was so strange-I could hear the thoughts of everyone in the classroom-Mike Newton hated the fact that we were lab partners-most of the students were simply frustrated by the assignment, or simply did not care about where Bella Swan sat, except to perhaps comment that they wish they had me as a lab partner.
She was a puzzle. I looked directly at her, even though she hadn’t realized it yet. Even with her guard down, I could not find a single thought of her own. She was obviously intelligent-her thoughts, whatever they were, would be copious and no doubt interesting.
She looked at me-she must have felt my gaze on her. A blush dusted her pale skin. It was attractive, even though the flaunting of her blood made me want to howl in frustration. She looked confused about something. I wanted her to desperately to say what was on her mind, no, I wanted to actually hear her mind so I could be rid of the mystery.
“Did you get contacts?”
I was startled by the question. What in heaven’s name was she getting at?
“No,” I said. Why was she asking?
Then I realized. My eyes. She must have remembered what my eyes looked like the first time we met-they would have been black. Because I hunted, they were now an amber color. She noticed. No one noticed before.
Why her?
My hands clenched into fists again.
As I tried to come up with a sufficient excuse as to why my eyes suddenly changed colors, Banner came over. ‘Why aren’t they working? Strange. It’s like they don’t even see each other. I hope I don’t have to redo the seating chart because of their high school drama.’ He looked at our paper, convinced that we weren’t finished it. ‘Edward Cullen’s handwriting. Did he even let her look at the paper. He’s so aloof, she probably just sat there and let him do it. I wonder if this class is too much for her.’
“Edward,” he chastised. “Did you let Isabella do any of the work?”
“Bella,” I corrected. I didn’t realize what I said until I noticed her face alight with surprise. I was pleased by her reaction, though again I wished I knew what she was thinking.
“Actually, she identified three of the five.”
‘Unlikely,’ the unpleasant man thought. He eyed Bella curiously. “Have you done this lab before?”
She blushed again, looking down at the desk. “Yes.”
His eyes narrowed. He was curious now. “Whitefish bastula?”
Bella nodded. “Yes.”
‘Advanced placement, I’ll bet,” he thought. I wondered if she was. Anything to gather more information about her. She confirmed his suspicions.
“Well,” he said. “I suppose it’s good that you two are lab partners then. Now I have two completely bored students,” he muttered the last part as he went off to examine the other labs. Bella showed no signs of hearing him though. It was probably a good thing, it would probably just make her ask more questions. Questions I could not even begin to answer.
There was more I wanted to know-I doubted that I would ever completely know Bella Swan. She seemed to be a walking contradiction.
She had expressed her displeasure to Newton about the snow. It was as good of a place as any to start.
“It’s a pity about the snow, isn’t it?”
I waited for her reaction. She was wary, like she wondered why I was bothering her with such prattle.
She shrugged. “Not really.”
I frowned. That is not what she said to Newton, nor what she said to Jessica Stanley at lunch. Why the sudden change of mind? Was she merely being contrary, hoping to give me two word answers so I would leave her alone?
“You don’t like the cold.” She couldn’t deny it. I saw her grimace at the thought of snow. Perhaps I could get farther with her by make pronouncements. She didn’t respond any other way.
“Or the wet,” she replied grudgingly.
What was she doing here then? “You must hate it here.”
“You have no idea,” she said.
She hadn’t answered my question. Why was she here? A disagreement with her mother, sending her into exile?
She was fascinating. She was mysterious. No matter what I thought she would say, she said something completely different. I was pampered, I realized. I had relied on my gift for so long that I didn’t know what it was like without it.
I had to ask her. I was tired of trying to be subtle with my questions, it wasn’t going to work. Not with her.
“Why did you come here?” I cringed. I had better class than that.
She seemed startled by my brusqueness. I regretted being so harsh.
“It’s…hard to explain.”
“Try. I think I can keep up.” I gazed at her face. There was so much pain, I wanted to find out what was causing her so much pain. Why did I care?
“My mother remarried.” Her voice sounded so sad, like she had instead said her mother had died.
“That was so complex,” I said. I was slightly disappointed, I expected, by her admission, that it was hard to understand. Then I remembered how sad she sounded. She must have been close to her mother. It pained her to be away from her. “When did that happen?”
“Last September.”
Why the space in between? Perhaps there was discord between her and her stepfather.
“You don’t like him.” I ventured a guess.
She frowned again, giving it some thought. “No, he’s fine. A little young, maybe, but he makes my mother happy.”
Why, then? Why did you leave? If you aren’t Cinderella, then who are you?
I didn’t realize I had voiced my second question aloud. Again, she seemed surprised. Perhaps everyone had been just as subtle as I.
“He-Phil-travels a lot. For his job.”
“Why does he travel?”
She rolled her eyes. It wasn’t an obvious gesture, I doubted she even realized that she had made it. “He plays baseball.”
I smiled. It was our favorite sport. “Have I heard of him?”
She made a face. “No, he’s strictly minor league. He doesn’t play well.”
“So your mother sent you here.” That was the most obvious conclusion.
That seemed to make her angry. I was surprised at the spark of anger in her eyes. She really did have the most expressive of faces.
“I sent myself,” she said tightly. I was breaching a sensitive subject.
What? Why would she do that, send herself to a place that she obviously didn’t like? It caused her pain. She did it for no reason.
“I don’t understand,” I admitted to her. She probably didn’t realize how frustrating that was for me, but it was.
“It saddened her, being away from him. I didn’t like seeing her so depressed when he was gone, so I decided to spend sometime with Charlie.”
I frowned. No teenager was that self-sacrificing. They were selfish beings, as we all were. I was surprised that she did this-make herself unhappy for the sake of another’s happiness.
“It makes you unhappy.”
“And?” she challenged me.
“It’s not fair. To you.”
She laughed bitterly. She had a nice laugh, it would have been better if she was laughing out of merriment and not out of cynicism. “Life is not exactly fair, haven’t you heard?”
I smiled out of bitterness too. “Yes, I have heard.”
I continued to stare at her. It was remarkably rude, but I couldn’t stop myself. She sacrificed her own happiness for the sake of her mother’s. She didn’t care for the stepfather. She hated Forks and hated being without her mother. She didn’t realize she had every boy in school eating out of the palm of her hand and she was smarter than most of the students in the class.
Who, exactly, was Bella Swan?
She frowned, probably wondering why I was staring at her.
There was still the pain in her eyes. It was obvious I was the first person that she talked about this to in a while.
“You put on a good front, but I’m willing to bet that you’re suffering more than you let on,” I whispered to her. Her already huge eyes got even bigger. She grimaced, I had obviously been right. She looked down at her notebook.
“I’m right.”
She scowled at me.
“I thought not.” I rejoiced in being right about something when it concerned Bella Swan.
“Why do you care?” she snapped at me.
I grimaced. Perhaps my observations and my gloating had gone too far.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. I hoped she didn’t hear me, actually.
She scowled at the blackboard, dissatisfied with my answer. Ha! Now she knew how it felt.
“Are you annoyed with me?” I had to ask her. Her face was so comical, as were her actions. I wish I could hear her thoughts-I imagined they would be just as entertaining as her actions.
She looked at me, curiously this time, all anger gone from her face. “No,” she said after a while. “I’m annoyed with myself. I’m so easy to read. My mom-she calls me her open book.”
The thought annoyed her. She frowned at it. Was it the thought of her mother or the thought of her being so transparent?
“I find you very difficult to read.” If only she knew how much truth that had!
“You are a good reader, then,” she said.
“Usually,” I said with a smile. Usually I can hear the other’s thoughts. I’m not blind as I am now.
Her eyes widened, her entire face changed. She was affected by my smiles. At least in that respect, she was like every other female. It was comforting.
The lecture for the day began, with less than half of class time left. No more conversing with Bella, at least for today and I was no where near unraveling her mystery. At least there were things I knew now-even if it led me to more questions. I was fascinated. She was a walking contradiction. She hated rain and snow but willingly decided to live in Forks. She possessed more maturity than most-she sacrificed her own happiness for her mother’s.
I couldn’t hear her thoughts.
And I wanted her blood more than I wanted anything else in the world-had ever wanted in the world.
The bell rang. I wanted more time with her-but I wouldn’t be able to take much more of it. I left, I needed to.
There was always tomorrow.
