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bailey--elizabeth —
11 3
Published: 2011-11-07 06:27:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 13223; Favourites: 402; Downloads: 312
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Description
i've been sitting underthe same tree for days and now
the leaves are leaving and now
the bark is peeling and
is this what they talk about
when the sparks all flicker
out?
i've been stoned enough
times to be called a martyr and
my mind's been getting hazy
lately
how do they expect me to answer
all these prayers?
i'm not a saint, i've just got
no grasp on sin.
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Comments: 49
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oh my god that line about being stoned enough times to be called a martyr - so cleverly brilliant
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Hello Bailey, here is the link to the poem in which I quoted your poem. [link]
I have posted a link back to "11 3" in my description. Thanks for letting me use the quote!
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"the leaves are leaving"
May I make a suggestion? Unless you intended this as wordplay and you really want it to stay in there, a different gerund would be better. Perhaps 'parting.'
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i did intend it as wordplay/repetition.
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I would have been dumb and put the leaves are leafing
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Wow...this is an amazing and very deep poem. Also great to read out loud, it flows perfectly, especially the first part.
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This is the greatest testimony to my "ignore capital letters = make everyone think you're super talented" theory yet.
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Sometimes capital letters just don't feel right.
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Depends on the particular circumstance/context, but sometimes I agree.
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oh wait, I wanted this smiley.
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Wow, so much great imagery in a little space. I especially love those last two lines. It's so much me.
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Chirp, congrats on the DD, it's been twittered. [link]
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This is the reason why I write. For beautiful pieces such as this.
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A bit more attention to lineation might be advisable. After about line 4 this sinks into abstractions and unsubstantiated phrases. The rhythm's quite pleasing, though. Congrats for the DD.
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This is absolutely beautiful. You are so inspiring
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I absolutely adore this. The imagery is inspirational.
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This is amazing 
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I really like reading this over and over again. It's like a song I keep playing.
Really nice
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I have missed reading your work. It is wonderful
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I've been browsing DA lately, praying for some work that shows even mild talent, and this shows immense. I really do love this poem.
Maybe it's just me, but the lack of capitalization on you "I"s express the reader's lack of respect for him/herself. I truly love the last two lines, as well.
I hate to be a bother, but I recently re-joined DA and uploaded a few of my works. I'm not one for attention, but it'd be nice to just have some feedback. All is appreciated, and all is welcomed.
Once again, amazing work. Definitely favorited.
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It's actually more of identity establishment. It's present throughout her pieces as well as numerous periods.
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Regardless, I loved it. (:
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on your* "I"s expresses*
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alone as the light goes out, what do you expect of me?
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It's really amazing. I like it a lot... (boring comment... but I mean it.)
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hmm.. im not a writer. but the first couple of verses feel like a broken flow?
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wow 
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i must admit, i'm not a very big fan on literature, but this gave me chills. This is beautiful! worded wonderfully, as well. I love it C:
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somehow you managed to capture exactly what i feel right now. you really are an exceptional writer. <3
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it seems you continue to fascinate your watchers, myself included
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Bailey, this incredibly inspired me so much that I'm planning to make a photograph about it.
Is it okay if I feature a few of your lines on my photographs? (I'll definitely credit back to you and this writing)
I won't write the lines on the photographs; they'll just be put as a description on DA.
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