GrecianUrn [2010-01-30 16:07:38 +0000 UTC]

Don't be too harsh on yourself. I like the rawness here and I think the compulsive drive to get something down on paper is a good place to start out from. You obviously have a natural sense of rhythm/meter because your lines have a drum-like quality and I could see this being set to music. Thanks for sharing this one.

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BlackLinerBaby [2010-01-30 14:52:26 +0000 UTC]

This is good. I like it

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Nevar23 [2010-01-28 01:49:31 +0000 UTC]

It's not awful, and trust me, I've written some bad poetry, lol. I actually think it would make a great song. I understand the feeling/compulsion that sometimes something just needs to be written.

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lzsays [2010-01-28 01:17:56 +0000 UTC]

Poetry seems to have no discernible rules, guidelines, or patterns to it of any kind whatsoever... So don't sweat it, man! I think the only person who, despite the rule that there are no rules, can still break the rules of poetry is me.

So, good job!

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cthruglass [2010-01-27 22:53:52 +0000 UTC]

I can't say I love but I think it's just so rough and representative. It needed to be written.

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