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Blazbaros — Contest: Iron Maiden
Published: 2009-09-17 23:25:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 1771; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 100
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My entry for *arbucias93 's Reploid Contest, located here [link]She's big, she's bad, she's gotta huge frickin' LAZER AXE!! D8
XD And I made her armour look more like leather. . . . and I threw in a little more skin then most other reploids. . . X3
Reploids (c) Capcom
Iron Maiden (c) Me
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Comments: 126
...
Oh my goodness?
I say!
Tea and crumpets, I should move my head before *thump*
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Sarcasm.
Invented by the best friend of Jesus Christ. (b^^)b
If you don't get the reference, read Lamb
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It's a really good book.
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Interesting concept. What exactly does this particular weapon do?
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Its a lazer-axe 
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Hmm... interesting. And how does it do that?
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See that marijuana shaped flash of light? That's the lazer XD
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So the laser shoots a concentrated beam that cuts through everything but reflective surfaces...
Wait... then all you have to do to counter it is to carry a mirror! D:
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>.> Think lightsaber, but in axe form
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So wait... I could block a lightsaber with a mirror? That would have made killing Vader so much easier.
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Oh. XD dude, you really wanted to argue that tonight or what?
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XD I love Star Wars. And I hate unepic ways to defeat epic awesomeness
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You mean like having the high ground? Or senate battles?
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Like using a mirror to block a lightsaber. . .it just. . . WON'T happen. . .
In Space Balls, YES, because its funny and because he actually SHOT at him XD
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I'm just nitpicking the "I have the high ground" logic. I didn't like the prequels much.
AND SPACEBALLS IS THE BEST SPACE MOVIE EVAH
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Yeah, they were missing something. . . they go and redo them >.>
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They SHOULD go and redo them DX
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Yes. Hollywood remakes. The best movies of all time, aren't they? XP
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Screw it, I'll do it myself XD
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No... there is no need for that. We could just frame Spielberg and Lucas for raping Harrison Ford, kill the guy who played Anakin by throwing him in a Volcano, and take over establishing a 1984 style government and merely say that the movies were never produced. It's really simple.
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No no, that's far too complicated... hmmm...
Perhaps we could grow a colony of clones and breed them in such a way the force became real and eventually, see them act out the whole thing by speeding up their growth and lives.
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Or, if all of that fails... I guess you could do it.
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OK then, I'll plant the pubic hairs on the toilet, you find the dick who played Anakin.
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Hayden Christianson, prepare to DIE. . .
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Wait... this won't work. Spielberg is definitely a Jew.
On to plan two?
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. . . get someone else to do it
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No, I don't know anyone else who would pay for it...
OK, plan three.
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What? no. Now you gotta make it. Have the first draft on my desk by Monday morning.
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Oh c'mon... with this long of a running joke, you've got to make something eventually.
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A long time ago in a galaxy far far away- THE END!
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;_; Oh god... so beautiful.
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Short, sweet and to the point
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In fact, we could make it simpler. Somewhere far away sometime long ago, shit went down.
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And seeing as it was a long time ago, we missed it and got no coverage. The End
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Dun dun dun duhhhh duuuuuh dun dun dun duuuuuh duh dun dun duhhhh duuuuuh dun dun dun duuuuuuuuh.
STARWARS, EPISODES ONE THROUGH THREE
EPISODE ONE
"Oh no, the Sith have returned and a planet no one cares about is under attack!"
"With haste!"
"Wait, I can't leave."
"Yes you can."
"OK."
"Mesa Jar jar binks!"
"Yousa can go fuck yourself."
"Oh look, we don't have any money but we can win it by putting this little boy (whom we need for an ancient prophecy) in danger!"
"I'll do it!"
"Yeah I won!"
"Yes, now say good bye to your mother you're only going to get to see her again once."
"Holy shit a sith!"
"Growling sound!"
"Holy fucking shit, it's retarded!"
"Obi Wan is ready to go on his own, can I train the bastard child here?"
"NO!"
"Let's go back."
"Wesa join you because we's fickle and underdeveloped!"
"Oh shit! Wesa losing!"
"I'm Anakin Skywalker for random ass Deus Ex Machina! Yeha!"
"Ha! wesa winnin!"
"Let's have a celebration!"
"But Quigon Jinn died."
"Who?"
"...Nevermind."
EPISODE TWO
"I'm in love with you."
"I know."
"Anakin, you're dangerous."
"Fuck you, I do what I wan'." *Look down and away and back up*
"You need to protect Amidala."
"SWEET"
"What's wrong Anakin?"
"I'm having flashbacks and I don't know how to respond."
"What? Cloners? But that guy's been dead long before the order was placed!"
"Well, you could always use them as a contrived plot device!"
"I don't see how that could backfire."
"Oh mommy I found you!"
"Hey Anakin, I'mma die now. Bleh."
\"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!\"
"I killed them all."
"Anakin, that's horrible."
"Hey look, a message from Obi Wan."
"'The fuck? He's under attack!"
"Let's go save him."
"NO!"
"I'll let you put it in my ass."
"OK."
"Oh shit, we were captured and now we're gonna die."
"*Random bug noises*"
"Yoda it is with some clones bitches."
"Hell yes! We win!"
EPISODE THREE
"Noooooooooo!"
"We're not gonna make it!"
"Fuck you, I do what I wan'!"
"Wait, we did make it, quick put in an irrelevant action scene!"
"Hmm, the guards are idiots aren't they."
"Yeah, and have any of these people heard of a firewall? I mean, R2D2 can basically do what he wants in their system."
"Take them to Dookie!"
"You mean Dooku?"
"Yeah, whatever."
"I am count Dooku."
"We'll kill you!"
"Oh no you don't bitch. *Crushes Obi Wan*"
"Use your anger young jedi!"
"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side!"
"What? Off with his head before he can reveal any more of the plot!"
"Oh, hey Anakin, I'm making you my informant amongst the Jedi."
"Sweet!"
"Fuck you, we do what we wan'!"
"Oh screw you guys!"
"Look, we need you here for a reason."
"Oh fine."
"I'm pregnant anakin."
"Didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Isn't it suspicious that you go home with me every night?"
"Point taken. Also, I've been dreaming of you dying a horrible death."
"Oh, that sucks."
"So I just let things happen?"
"Much, pretty, young jedi."
"OK. Then again, I don't take advice from green hobbits."
"OFF FUCK ASS JACK."
"GREIVOUS!"
"KENOBI!"
*Stab, shoot, roll, shoot, dead.*
"ALRIGHT, NOW TO GET BACK TO EVERYONE!"
"Oh, Anakin, by the way, I can save your wife, and I'm a mind reading Sith lord."
"...teach me."
"OK, but you've gotta be Sith too!"
"The emperor is a sith!"
"Stay here, we'll kill him."
"Wait, he could save my wife!"
"Stop!"
"UNLIMITED POWAH!"
"I... I betrayed him."
"It's ok, you're a sith now. Oh, and because I function like a crime boss, I need you to go kill some conspirators."
"OK."
*BIG JEDI DEATH SCENE AND TWO FAGGOTS FLYING AROUND KILLING PEOPLE*
"OK, you take the emperor, I'll kill Anakin. Break!"
"Anakin, it doesn't have to end like this!"
"Fuck you, I do what I wan'!"
"Ow! Anakin you're gonna kill me leading to your dark motivation and eventual death later!"
"Oops."
"Die!"
"I am the stronger!"
*Slash*
"BITCHES DON'T KNOW 'BOUT MY HIGH GROUND!"
"Ow! Lava!"
"I failed to kill the bad guy, into hiding I shall go."
"ANAKIN YOU BASTARD!" *dead*
"Christ, does everyone die in this movie? Was this made to traumatize the young or something?"
"Oh, we made you into a metal guy. Have fun with that."
\"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!\"
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My life is complete. . .
>.> and I liked Quigon Jinn, he was cool
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Well... they did kind of just throw him off a bridge plot wise.
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-_-; He should stuck around still at LEAST II
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What, with a light saber stuck in his stomach?
"Hey guys, nah, it's just a flesh wound. Truth is, I'll probably die from cancer first."
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Nooo. . more dramatic death
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