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A Key Point
Published: 2011-07-01 18:06:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 11108; Favourites: 761; Downloads: 101
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Hello. I'm your left shift key. You know, on your keyboard? I think it's time we had a little chat.See, I think I have things better than some others I know. Like my friends P, A, I, and N β you know those keys? - well, they've been feeling used. Whenever you open up Microsoft Word, they just start groaning because they feel your poetry coming. Me, though, I guess I'm just feeling ignored. Unappreciated. You know the feeling? I know you do. I saw that poem about your family. Tough stuff, right there. I feel you, I really do.
I know you feel all deep without me. Like the restraints I put upon you shackle your inner poet. I'm not uncool. Believe me, I am down with the youngsters. And I know the time it takes to capitalize could cause your conversation about your English teacher to Tanya to drag. I am the most understanding key on your keyboard, believe me. Not like Insert. Believe me, that guy's a total asshole. But I just think you really haven't considered all the dynamics our relationship could have. Like, I know sometimes you use Caps Lock when you're really angry at someone. Remember that time Mike told you to wear deodorant? Well, that's just one of the many functions I could also offer. Anger.
But that's not all. You too could write poems and not get compared to "a bad e. e. cummings" every single time! Of course, you'd have to stop doing that thing at the end of your poem where you keep indenting lines (ol' Tab, I'm sorry to say, is getting a little sick of that) and you might find it advantageous to actually read some other poetry, but I'm just saying it could work. Also, people will think you're smart if you start using me in your Facebook statuses. Know that cute boy in your history class you saw reading a copy of Catcher in the Rye? Well, he thinks people that use me are the most attractive girls of all. Try it. See if it works.
So I'm hoping we can maybe try this thing out soon. I guess I'm a little restless. If we run out of things to do, we can make fun of Right Shift Key. Dude's totally useless, am I right?
With deepest regards,
Left Shift Key
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Comments: 277
Looking down at my keyboard and seeing the worn paint on my Left Shift Key and how how only T is truly legible, I believe I have a very good relationship with my Left Shift Key. Though, I think he may want me to start bonding with Right Shift Key in the near future, lol.
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I love this! Β Very well written. Β Kudos!
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Nothing wrong with silly. Silly definitely has its place, but like everything else can become tiring if used too often. Well, that's just my opinion.
I actually prefer flash fiction and short stories. Reading and writing them. That's not to say I'm not capable of reading longer pieces, of course. It's just that a lot of them don't grab my attention. Maybe I'm just looking in all the wrong places.
Writing longer pieces is another matter entirely.
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I do not usually stop for flash fiction, but I actually saw the end "Left Shift Key" and got curious.
I think this story is clever, playful, and managed to fit a lot of satire into a very short piece. I think a lot of poets here would do well to read this (and hopefully it wouldn't hurt their feelings too much.)
Personally, me and Right Shift Key are best buds. I've never considered developing a deeper relationship with Left Shift Key, but maybe after this I'll consider using him every once in a while.
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Hilarious, how did you get inspired to write this story?
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Heh, great thinking. And a great writing style.
Just FYI, I work with graphics software and games, and am very bad at typing, so EVERY key gets its share of abuse on my keyboards. Except perhaps the Ins key
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This... This was hilarious. I loved it! Awesome job!
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Oh, finally. It was about time someone said something about this very dire problem.
I really like the idea, and it is very well executed although I have one critical comment: In the third paragraph, you use the phrase "believe me" twice in almost immediate succession. Unnecessary repetition is a real pet peeve of mine and I feel like either sentence would be fine without the phrase. Just a though - hope you don't mind.
Otherwise, great work. Maybe I can convince my English teacher to add this to the mandatory reading list for middle schoolers
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I didn't even know there WAS a 'Left shift key.' Now I feel horrible. -pets key- Poor thing.
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Funny. Very funny. 
Thank you for sharing your piece. I really enjoyed it.
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There are very few laws without exceptions in the crafts of language, and I encourage experimentation as long as the process of experimentation involves a critical, unbiased self-evaluation sometime in the process. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece, though!
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"I am down with the youngsters" indeed!
Very much fun!
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This is so great. It feels like satire/vent without all the rage and backlash. More taste, less filling. Well, that analogy sucked, but I really just do not have the brainpower currently available to make up a better one. Substandard complement: delivered.
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THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER! However, I only ever use "Right Shift Key" so....the poor left guy is nearly always left alone. Don't let yours know that though. 
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I've always wondered if people ever actually use the *right* shift key. XD
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I love the comment about the right shift key.
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THANK YOU. (Shift key got full attention there.)
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I must admit, I am terribly guilty of this.
Thankyou for making me laugh, though, hehehe...
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This has got to be one of the cleverest prose pieces I've seen on DA. And I got a good dose of laughter too (that "bad e. e. cummings" thing XD)
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i love this! its so funny! (sorry im not using the shift key. its summr and im not really into the whole "capitalizing" thing. shift is only for necessities...)
i do have a close relationship with the rightshift key tho. hes my buddy dude. and it just kills me when ppl use improper grammar....my nickname? Grammar Nazi. x)
anyway, nice work! (see? shift key...)
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...I think most grammar Nazis use the shift key year round.
Nevertheless, glad you liked the piece!
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lol normally. but u should see when i read stories full of run-ons and fragments....i go nuts.
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On the flipside, I know people who capitalize every word of the sentence. It Looks Like This. Arrrgh! Much love, shift keys. Much love.
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Yeah That's Really Annoying. I Mean This Doesn't Even Save Anyone Time What In The World.
I think I need a shower now.
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I love it. Though my Right Shift Key and I share a special relationship, as he is my "Drop down to the next line" right hand man.
Like this!
*high-fives right shift key*
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lol that was so cute 
anyway i love your prose
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Lol! I love it! It's a total, satirical way to vent just how frustrating it is when poor ol' Left Shift Key gets neglected. Me personally, he's one of my good buddies. We spend a lot of time together. I make sure to take good care of him.
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I love this so much. And what gets me is that it's not even bad poetry that doesn't use the shift key. Almost every literature DD I've seen lately has no capitalization. e.o;;
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I only use my Left Shift key for 'Crouch' or 'Sneak' in games. XD
If I ever want to do a capital letter, I use Caps Lock - Caps lock ON - type letter - Caps lock OFF. I actually find it faster D:
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Haha, really nice! XD
I always use Right Shift though. XD
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Absolutely love this! xDD Beautiful satire x3
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8D Omg, LOVE this! It's seriously had me laughing my ass off over here. Though my Left Shift Key does not feel the same. He get's used a whole lot by my pinky finger. Though he still agrees witht he Right Shift Key comment...
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I NEVER use my left shift key xD It's kinda funny. My right one is the one that's abused to the point where the finish on the keyboard's coming off....
This is a nice piece, though. I like the humour in it.
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I use the left shift key more often than the right, bu that's probably because I'm left-handed. ^^
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Very clever! I like the humor and the personification of the keyboard: how the different keys are designated as the cooler ones and whatnot.
Actually, I use the left shift key a lot more than the right one (which I only use for to capitalize Q, A, Z and other function keys). Who knows, maybe it's because I'm left handed so my left pinky dominates more?
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