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It happened again like most nights but this night worse than all the rest. She couldn’t take it anymore; the drunken rages the verbal, mental and physical abuse. It was more drama and stress than she could take and she knew she had to get away. To everyone else she seemed perfectly fine but deep inside she was dieing. She was a pretty, bright young woman barely 16, normal teenager tons of friend’s loads of mischief. She did pretty well in school accept a few classes she just didn’t seem to care, she was friendly and a good listener and gave great advice loved to play sports. Yet she seemed to con everyone with the show she put on making everyone believe what she wanted them to. She wore a mask making everyone believe that everything was reasonable in her life. Yet no one knows her pain inside, no one knew what happened behind closed doors.

She would come home to her drunken step-dad. The reason he is drunk is because he would tell her mother how worthless she is and she would lock herself in her room now to drunk to take his fury out on her mother he would take it out on her, so much for calling it home. They would bicker with each other over stupid things until someone threw the first punch. Its not her mothers fault she is still with him and the only reason she isn’t is because she’s afraid of him because if she leaves him he will beat her to like he does on most days but worse.

Tonight as she walked in the door she could smell the alcohol and it singed her nose and made her eyes fill up with tears. She walks down to her room and to her surprise she sees her mother sitting on her bed reading her journal of poetry and thoughts. Her mother looked up at her with tears in her eyes. She had found her personal journal with all of her depressed, contemplated suicide notes and poems. “Charisma what are all of these about?” her mother asks. “Those aren’t yours you shouldn’t be reading them” Charisma replied. “Don’t give me that attitude now tell me what this is about” “How is that any of your business you have never cared before once ever since you married that drunken prick” Charisma replied furiously. “ Oh you don’t know what I’m talking about well let me read this for you: Pain is inevitable, death is fun, I let people torture me, I torture myself, contemplated suicide, obviously hasn’t worked, must be here for a reason, and that’s to be hurt, destined to be alone, I’m a fallen angel, who will never stop falling, never land, never find peace, serenity, or happiness, I walk around lost, like a little puppy looking for a home, looking for love, kindness, and warmth, a place to call my own, a place I feel welcome, I look for a real friend I can confide in, but it seems I can only confide in myself and the pain I bring, 6 cuts a day, maybe it will take my breath away, watching it bleed and bleed, making it harder to breath, because I’m going to draw a picture, a picture on my wrist, ill draw it with a razor, ill draw it just like this, and when I draw this picture, a fountain will appear, and hopefully my problems, will slowly disappear.” her mother read. Her face looked like she saw a ghost and she gasped I turn around to see my step dad had appeared behind me. “You want to kill your self do you want to die here let me help you on your way!!” and the next thing she knew she was being smashed against her wall being punched and slapped around he was hitting her like she was a dog who just took a piss on the white carpet. She tried to fight back but it never really works all she can do while she has a split second of time would throw the hardest punch of her life right in front of her hoping to hit something. It worked sometimes but not all. It worked this time she hit him right in the middle of his face with a loud crack and a pop. She didn’t know what she hit but it sounded painful so it made her laugh but it only made him more enraged.

Most parents would want to help their child with their problems but she knew her mother wanted to but her step father wanted nothing to do with her and she knew it so he threw her out on the street with no money the clothes she had on and nothing else. She started to run surprised she could move at all with blood gushing from her face and tears streaming down like the blood she would draw from her arms, she could feel the unbearable pain in her side and stomach with every movement she made but she didn’t stop running. She kept running for what felt like hours she ran about half a mile behind her house into the woods. As she ran her legs felt as if they weren’t there anymore and she finally collapsed barely missing cracking her skull open on a rock nearly 3 inches from her head. “ Too bad I missed,” she said out loud with a faint chuckle.

She sat there crying rocking back and forth back and forth thinking of what just happened she couldn’t believe it. She was scared for her mom hoping he hasn’t killed her by now for letting her go even though it was him who threw her out. After a long while she goes to the closest gas station goes into the bathroom and cleans her self up. She calls her best friend to pick her up and take her somewhere safe she could stay and the only safe place she could think of was with Charisma’s boyfriend.

Later that night around 2 am she went back to her house and snuck in her window got clothes and all the essentials she needed for at least 2 weeks shoved them in her book bag and anything else she could find to hold things. She went upstairs took $50 dollars out of her moms purse and noticed she was sleeping on the couch. She snuck up the stairs quiet as a mouse put her hand over her mother’s mouth to wake her and made sure she didn’t make a noise. “ I knew you would come back,” her mother whispered “ I would never not come back,” she said back with a smile. Her face was swollen black and blue with bruises everywhere. “ I took money from your purse ill pay you back I promise” “ Don’t worry about it Charisma I just want to know that you will be ok” her mother told her in an extremely worried voice. “ I'll be fine but I’m worried about you” “ I'll be ok as long as he doesn’t wake up and see you here, meet me tomorrow night at 8:30 at circle K in the back ill bring you food money and anything else I can bring you” Charisma gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and gave her a gigantic hug. They herd rustling in the back room, her mother looked back there and looked right back to where Charisma would be standing and it was just like a snap of her finger and Charisma was gone.

The next day at school Charisma felt like she was on trial for murder and there where reporters all around her asking the same questions over and over. “What happened you didn’t call me back”  “What happened to you”
”oh my god are you ok” “did you get in a fight” “did u fall down the stairs again” All she told them was that she got drunk and that’s all that she remembered but she was told she got into a fight with a BIG girl. All her friends just laughed and told her to stop getting into so many fights and that was that.  That was her excuse for her step dad unless she really did get into a fight, which didn’t happen often.

That night she was waiting from 7-9. That’s when she started to think that she was found leaving the house and something horrific happened to her mother. She got to her house about 5 minutes later she sneaks in her room sits at the bottom of the stairs and waits for someone to say something. The house was dead silent the lights were on but this time the alcohol wasn’t the only smell that struck her nose, this smell was so repulsive she was on the verge of puking, then all of the sudden she herd her mother scream such a eerie scream that the high pitch tone echoed through the house and it pierced
Charismas ears, and without hesitation she dashed up the stairs to see her step dad drunk as a mother with blood all over him and to her despair her mother lying on the floor motionless. He starts to stumble towards she was terrified worried sick and pissed off. He had a look in his eyes like he was going to kill her next so there was only one thing to do, get him before he gets her, she pulls her switchblade out of her purse that her mother bought her for protection and screams “ if you come any closer I swear I will kill you, you sick sadistic bastard” He acted as if he was frightened by this 15 year old girl who he almost beat to death the night before because now she had the power. With a loud growl he ran towards her just as he was in front she put her hand up by her head and plunged it into his chest. He tumbled down the stairs leaving a trail of blood behind him a pool of blood surrounding him. She runs and dials 911 give the immediate detail and hangs up. Dashes to her mother to see if she is still breathing and she barely gasping for air and her pulse was slowed down much slower than it should be, it seemed like hours for the paramedics to arrive. She sat in the back of the ambulance holding her mothers hands looking at her step dad praying that he’s dead.

After hours of sitting in the waiting room of the hospital and many trips to the bathroom for throwing up they get the results that her mother is barely stable and is in a coma but they cannot do anything else for her and they say that they don’t know how long she has to live. As they are telling her this Charisma starts to scream yet she cant recall all she could see was everything going blurry she couldn’t hear the doctors and suddenly everything went silent.. And black. She awoke 3 days later with a worried boyfriend and best friend asleep by her side. After hours of debating they let her go with them, her boyfriend told her that her mother was still in the coma and was fading faster and faster everyday. She couldn’t believe it she said she had to be alone so she asked to be alone. She sat there for a few minutes pondering on what she should do and she knew what she had to. She took a piece of paper and slipped it in her pants and a pen in her shirt. She went into the bathroom and sat and cried. After a 10 minutes of her being in the bathroom her boyfriend decided to check on her, he knocked but there was no answer, he tried to open the door and it was locked so he starts to scream her name, no answer, so he broke it down and he lets out this horrific scream He fell to his knees screaming and screaming. All he saw was his once beautiful girlfriend lying in a bathtub full of blood. Charisma killed herself, she slit her wrists her arms her legs her stomach the back of her heel and finally her throat. There were 2 notes, one to her beloved boyfriend and one to her friends and family. He read them but first the one to him.

“To my beloved boyfriend
I never meant to hurt you by doing this but I feel that only in death could I be happy and not in pain from all the things that have happened, don’t ever let anything come in your way of what makes you happy and we will one day be together again. Ill always be watching over you i'm your guardian angel and ill always be with you.
Love with all my heart
Charisma”
Tears started to stir and sting his eyes he couldn’t believe what had happened. He couldn’t bear to read the one to her friends and family but he sucked it up and read it.

“To my friends and family
Do not blame yourself for anything that has happened it is not your fault. Everything happens for a reason but sometimes that reason is unknown this is my destiny, but do me one favor if my mother does live tell her that this wasn’t her fault either and that I love her and will always be with her and will be saving a seat in heaven for her, and if my step dad happens to be alive make sure that he gets a life sentence”
Love you all…Charisma”

That’s my story hi my name is Charisma Marie Williams, I’m 15 years old and that was the story of how that one night worse than any other led up to so many traumatizing things that I couldn’t handle and I killed myself.  That was 3 years ago my mother lived and Is doing a lot better after years of therapy my boyfriend has recovered but still remains without anyone to love and visits my grave everyday and takes care of my mother, my step dad got a life sentence with no parole and I bet know he is wish that I did kill him. You may find it odd that I am telling you this story now because I am dead but some things from people who die will live on forever. Don’t ever take anything that you have for granted because you more than likely lose it and once its gone you might not ever be able to get it back. You never know what you had until its gone. Open your eyes to see what you have and be thankful for it because one day it may be taken away like the snap of a finger. Don’t live like you might die tomorrow live like you may die tonight, in 5 minutes, 30 seconds, love like you have been hurt before so you don’t get hurt anymore,  never give up hope keep trying keep dreaming and never forget the ones you love because that’s all you need in the end are the people you love and love you, and don’t let anybody take you

Description
It happened again like most nights but this night worse than all the rest. She couldn’t take it anymore; the drunken rages the verbal, mental and physical abuse. It was more drama and stress than she could take and she knew she had to get away. To everyone else she seemed perfectly fine but deep inside she was dieing. She was a pretty, bright young woman barely 16, normal teenager tons of friend’s loads of mischief. She did pretty well in school accept a few classes she just didn’t seem to care, she was friendly and a good listener and gave great advice loved to play sports. Yet she seemed to con everyone with the show she put on making everyone believe what she wanted them to. She wore a mask making everyone believe that everything was reasonable in her life. Yet no one knows her pain inside, no one knew what happened behind closed doors.

She would come home to her drunken step-dad. The reason he is drunk is because he would tell her mother how worthless she is and she would lock herself in her room now to drunk to take his fury out on her mother he would take it out on her, so much for calling it home. They would bicker with each other over stupid things until someone threw the first punch. Its not her mothers fault she is still with him and the only reason she isn’t is because she’s afraid of him because if she leaves him he will beat her to like he does on most days but worse.

Tonight as she walked in the door she could smell the alcohol and it singed her nose and made her eyes fill up with tears. She walks down to her room and to her surprise she sees her mother sitting on her bed reading her journal of poetry and thoughts. Her mother looked up at her with tears in her eyes. She had found her personal journal with all of her depressed, contemplated suicide notes and poems. “Charisma what are all of these about?” her mother asks. “Those aren’t yours you shouldn’t be reading them” Charisma replied. “Don’t give me that attitude now tell me what this is about” “How is that any of your business you have never cared before once ever since you married that drunken prick” Charisma replied furiously. “ Oh you don’t know what I’m talking about well let me read this for you: Pain is inevitable, death is fun, I let people torture me, I torture myself, contemplated suicide, obviously hasn’t worked, must be here for a reason, and that’s to be hurt, destined to be alone, I’m a fallen angel, who will never stop falling, never land, never find peace, serenity, or happiness, I walk around lost, like a little puppy looking for a home, looking for love, kindness, and warmth, a place to call my own, a place I feel welcome, I look for a real friend I can confide in, but it seems I can only confide in myself and the pain I bring, 6 cuts a day, maybe it will take my breath away, watching it bleed and bleed, making it harder to breath, because I’m going to draw a picture, a picture on my wrist, ill draw it with a razor, ill draw it just like this, and when I draw this picture, a fountain will appear, and hopefully my problems, will slowly disappear.” her mother read. Her face looked like she saw a ghost and she gasped I turn around to see my step dad had appeared behind me. “You want to kill your self do you want to die here let me help you on your way!!” and the next thing she knew she was being smashed against her wall being punched and slapped around he was hitting her like she was a dog who just took a piss on the white carpet. She tried to fight back but it never really works all she can do while she has a split second of time would throw the hardest punch of her life right in front of her hoping to hit something. It worked sometimes but not all. It worked this time she hit him right in the middle of his face with a loud crack and a pop. She didn’t know what she hit but it sounded painful so it made her laugh but it only made him more enraged.

Most parents would want to help their child with their problems but she knew her mother wanted to but her step father wanted nothing to do with her and she knew it so he threw her out on the street with no money the clothes she had on and nothing else. She started to run surprised she could move at all with blood gushing from her face and tears streaming down like the blood she would draw from her arms, she could feel the unbearable pain in her side and stomach with every movement she made but she didn’t stop running. She kept running for what felt like hours she ran about half a mile behind her house into the woods. As she ran her legs felt as if they weren’t there anymore and she finally collapsed barely missing cracking her skull open on a rock nearly 3 inches from her head. “ Too bad I missed,” she said out loud with a faint chuckle.

She sat there crying rocking back and forth back and forth thinking of what just happened she couldn’t believe it. She was scared for her mom hoping he hasn’t killed her by now for letting her go even though it was him who threw her out. After a long while she goes to the closest gas station goes into the bathroom and cleans her self up. She calls her best friend to pick her up and take her somewhere safe she could stay and the only safe place she could think of was with Charisma’s boyfriend.

Later that night around 2 am she went back to her house and snuck in her window got clothes and all the essentials she needed for at least 2 weeks shoved them in her book bag and anything else she could find to hold things. She went upstairs took $50 dollars out of her moms purse and noticed she was sleeping on the couch. She snuck up the stairs quiet as a mouse put her hand over her mother’s mouth to wake her and made sure she didn’t make a noise. “ I knew you would come back,” her mother whispered “ I would never not come back,” she said back with a smile. Her face was swollen black and blue with bruises everywhere. “ I took money from your purse ill pay you back I promise” “ Don’t worry about it Charisma I just want to know that you will be ok” her mother told her in an extremely worried voice. “ I'll be fine but I’m worried about you” “ I'll be ok as long as he doesn’t wake up and see you here, meet me tomorrow night at 8:30 at circle K in the back ill bring you food money and anything else I can bring you” Charisma gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and gave her a gigantic hug. They herd rustling in the back room, her mother looked back there and looked right back to where Charisma would be standing and it was just like a snap of her finger and Charisma was gone.

The next day at school Charisma felt like she was on trial for murder and there where reporters all around her asking the same questions over and over. “What happened you didn’t call me back”  “What happened to you”
”oh my god are you ok” “did you get in a fight” “did u fall down the stairs again” All she told them was that she got drunk and that’s all that she remembered but she was told she got into a fight with a BIG girl. All her friends just laughed and told her to stop getting into so many fights and that was that.  That was her excuse for her step dad unless she really did get into a fight, which didn’t happen often.

That night she was waiting from 7-9. That’s when she started to think that she was found leaving the house and something horrific happened to her mother. She got to her house about 5 minutes later she sneaks in her room sits at the bottom of the stairs and waits for someone to say something. The house was dead silent the lights were on but this time the alcohol wasn’t the only smell that struck her nose, this smell was so repulsive she was on the verge of puking, then all of the sudden she herd her mother scream such a eerie scream that the high pitch tone echoed through the house and it pierced
Charismas ears, and without hesitation she dashed up the stairs to see her step dad drunk as a mother with blood all over him and to her despair her mother lying on the floor motionless. He starts to stumble towards she was terrified worried sick and pissed off. He had a look in his eyes like he was going to kill her next so there was only one thing to do, get him before he gets her, she pulls her switchblade out of her purse that her mother bought her for protection and screams “ if you come any closer I swear I will kill you, you sick sadistic bastard” He acted as if he was frightened by this 15 year old girl who he almost beat to death the night before because now she had the power. With a loud growl he ran towards her just as he was in front she put her hand up by her head and plunged it into his chest. He tumbled down the stairs leaving a trail of blood behind him a pool of blood surrounding him. She runs and dials 911 give the immediate detail and hangs up. Dashes to her mother to see if she is still breathing and she barely gasping for air and her pulse was slowed down much slower than it should be, it seemed like hours for the paramedics to arrive. She sat in the back of the ambulance holding her mothers hands looking at her step dad praying that he’s dead.

After hours of sitting in the waiting room of the hospital and many trips to the bathroom for throwing up they get the results that her mother is barely stable and is in a coma but they cannot do anything else for her and they say that they don’t know how long she has to live. As they are telling her this Charisma starts to scream yet she cant recall all she could see was everything going blurry she couldn’t hear the doctors and suddenly everything went silent.. And black. She awoke 3 days later with a worried boyfriend and best friend asleep by her side. After hours of debating they let her go with them, her boyfriend told her that her mother was still in the coma and was fading faster and faster everyday. She couldn’t believe it she said she had to be alone so she asked to be alone. She sat there for a few minutes pondering on what she should do and she knew what she had to. She took a piece of paper and slipped it in her pants and a pen in her shirt. She went into the bathroom and sat and cried. After a 10 minutes of her being in the bathroom her boyfriend decided to check on her, he knocked but there was no answer, he tried to open the door and it was locked so he starts to scream her name, no answer, so he broke it down and he lets out this horrific scream He fell to his knees screaming and screaming. All he saw was his once beautiful girlfriend lying in a bathtub full of blood. Charisma killed herself, she slit her wrists her arms her legs her stomach the back of her heel and finally her throat. There were 2 notes, one to her beloved boyfriend and one to her friends and family. He read them but first the one to him.

“To my beloved boyfriend
I never meant to hurt you by doing this but I feel that only in death could I be happy and not in pain from all the things that have happened, don’t ever let anything come in your way of what makes you happy and we will one day be together again. Ill always be watching over you i'm your guardian angel and ill always be with you.
Love with all my heart
Charisma”
Tears started to stir and sting his eyes he couldn’t believe what had happened. He couldn’t bear to read the one to her friends and family but he sucked it up and read it.

“To my friends and family
Do not blame yourself for anything that has happened it is not your fault. Everything happens for a reason but sometimes that reason is unknown this is my destiny, but do me one favor if my mother does live tell her that this wasn’t her fault either and that I love her and will always be with her and will be saving a seat in heaven for her, and if my step dad happens to be alive make sure that he gets a life sentence”
Love you all…Charisma”

That’s my story hi my name is Charisma Marie Williams, I’m 15 years old and that was the story of how that one night worse than any other led up to so many traumatizing things that I couldn’t handle and I killed myself.  That was 3 years ago my mother lived and Is doing a lot better after years of therapy my boyfriend has recovered but still remains without anyone to love and visits my grave everyday and takes care of my mother, my step dad got a life sentence with no parole and I bet know he is wish that I did kill him. You may find it odd that I am telling you this story now because I am dead but some things from people who die will live on forever. Don’t ever take anything that you have for granted because you more than likely lose it and once its gone you might not ever be able to get it back. You never know what you had until its gone. Open your eyes to see what you have and be thankful for it because one day it may be taken away like the snap of a finger. Don’t live like you might die tomorrow live like you may die tonight, in 5 minutes, 30 seconds, love like you have been hurt before so you don’t get hurt anymore,  never give up hope keep trying keep dreaming and never forget the ones you love because that’s all you need in the end are the people you love and love you, and don’t let anybody take you