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carnival β Passing
#abstract #alligator #bones #crocodile #dead #death #digital #ethereal #painting #passing #practice #sad #sadness #skeleton #spirit #still #vent #like
Published: 2018-02-10 22:24:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 1239; Favourites: 139; Downloads: 15
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I slept a lot today.well, yesterday technically
Almost a whole days stretch in fact..
And had a few interesting dream-pieces throughout that, most of which I can of recall abstract fragments from.
-One of which contained a reference to a long-term pet of mine, Tabatha (whom passed away in August of 2017), and she was just in that, like any other normal day/catting about.
But even my dream-brain was somewhat aware that is wasn't real; and my partnerΒ Kraden , also featuring in the dream, told me 'it wasn't really her, obviously, just a cushion that looked very like her' and upon picking up this very real cat in my dream, looking directly into her little cat face, I asked him again "are you sure? she sure feels like Tabby" .. he assured my it wasn't, he had checked too because he'd also been fooled, and when looking down once more, she had indeed become the cushion he was telling me this was.
-Twas only a small aspect of that dream, but upon waking & telling a friend it as struct me with a stroke of feeling the sadness surrounding the loss of her in my life once again pretty hard and it's been in the back there just kinda slumped against all forethought.
It doesn't get me down too often, she lived a good long life (of which I think I knew her almost entirely for. She could fit in the palm of my child-sized hand when we found her and her two brothers abandoned & we weren't even sure they would take solids they were so small.) and I'm so very thankful for the time shared with her, rich for the good memories etc..
-Still just left a rather large gap in heart upon finally passing, and that aches from time to time. \|'S
On top of this some on-going medical issues (that are now on the way to get treated better) Have put my thoughts if an odd place for now..
So here is somewhat of a Vent-Piece inspired by my state of mind right now~
was very calming to work on actually
[Soundtrack when making this]
*Not entirely satisfied with the execution of, but just goes to inform me I need more digital speed-paint practice
Digital Paint in Clip Studio.
Artwork by Erika V, Feb 2018
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Comments: 11
Man. I would not want to get stepped on by whatever that was. Poor alligator.
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MmmMm.. we hold onto that which we knew and hold dear for so long after the fact~ sometimes it's hard to let go and drift once more
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It hasn't been too long since I've lost my dog, she had a tumor, which was there in the first place due to neglect from my family. I had been in an abusive household and she had always been there to comfort me when I was upset, I pretty much raised her. I had to leave her when I ran away from home and I always worried about her. Eventually my mother ran away from that house too. Long story short, they gave her to us when she was all matted and ignored. We managed to get her as better as we could, and eventually managed to have enough to get her operated, but she eventually died due to that tumor, even though the vet did his very best.
There is always that lingering hole, and I've found that I'm a lot less motivated to do certain things after being gone. I have no idea what it is like to lose a child, but her passing had me losing sleep, sometimes still does, since she would always sleep beside me. She then began to sleep beside either my husband and I, or my mom. There's those nights where she seems to visit in dreams, and sometimes she actually speaks, or sometimes takes different forms. We all comment on how we miss her, it's really different when a beloved close pet, and friend, is gone.
So in a way I understand you, and this piece. Thank you for sharing this.
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Thank you for sharing also, and yes.. the panges have a habit of creeping up or just surfacing unexpectedly from time to time (only serves to really reinforce how much they meant to us though)
I hope you and yours find peace also (and sorry to hear of the rougher start) but glad to hear you are away from that now
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Yeah, it's gotten only a little easier over time, but still manages to sneak up on me like you said. It does let me appreciate the time I spent with her, though.
Thank you very much, we're getting there slowly but surely. Every day is another step forward.
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Wow, this image is so different, I would never have thought that you did it.Β Bravo with doing something so different.
And best of wishes to you.
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Damn, hope you go to sleep 
You know, for you, he/she is a part of your life because you have plenty things to live, because for him/her, you was all his/her life. And you loved that one.Β
In my country, the mentality is to be sad after the lost. In some place, we celebrate the death funeral and after with happiness because you know you haven't regret her life, because you feel lucky to have the chance to live with a wonderfull pet or person.
Hope i can cheer you up. Kiss <3
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Thanks a bunch btw (late reply)
indeed I am thankful for the nice memories with her~ she was a really great cattyboop
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