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Celinky — Muse in two parts
Published: 2006-02-12 00:06:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 189; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 10
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Description
I.Scribbling words on paper madly at one a.m. in the non-medical understanding that
if you get out all the words for the day you will be able to sleep.
Like exorcizing ghosts perhaps, “leave oh you ghosts of muses,
you have seduced sleep and stolen him away from me;
curse on you and all those like you, too egotistical to realize your pleasure is another’s pain.”
II.
We have been married too long, you and I. You, oh muse (must be a lady) the wife,
finally reaching the point where, free of the fear of pregnancy,
want nothing more that to give yourself to me, over and over again.
I, the old man, too tired from a life time of asking for your kindness and sympathy.
Too tired of hoping to taste your love.
Too tired from constantly asking for you to spread before me.
Too tired now
to even
lift
my pen.
Comments: 3
i'm not sure on the need for chapters, but I still have no trouble sleeping.
could you explian me why you used the I in "I, the old man, too..." i think -to me, the oldman, too...- sounds better.
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interesting suggestion. Personally, I don't care for the word "me", the sound is just so...high pitched and cute. Perhaps to go with your idea though I am thinking about changing the line to read my fluently:
"I, the old man, am too tired..."
I am considering "I am the old man, too tired..." but in a way I feel that is more like putting on or playing a role rather than being the role...hm...
as far as explaining why:
at the beginning of the second stanza the subjects/main characters are "you" and "I", I define the you with "you, oh muse (must be a lady) the wife..." so then it would be appropriate to describe the second character using the same (personal)[but not because obviously it isn't me] pronoun, "I". Wow, I think I just managed to confuse myself, does that make any sense at all????
as far as my choice to mark the stanzas as chapters, they are seperate pieces written with the same inspiration with muse being the uniting factor, the first lead to the second in a way. They belong together based on that history but the voice and tone and technique of personification are so different that I felt they needed to be divided in some form.
thank you for taking the time to really critique this piece
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
that was a lot of explanation. all clear.
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