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This is Death Valley National Park, and I hope it’s the part that’s in California not the part that’s in Nevada or I’ll have egg on my face (fried, of course, by the sun). I think this one’s called ‘Natural Bridge’ (check out half mile away at the park entrance from the highway it’s twin: ‘Not-Entirely-Natural-I-Suspect-Darling Bridge') It’s in a nice little canyon that can fill up with raging torrents of water without warning, because how else do you get natural arches like that? But water…is the least of your worries in Death Valley.
First of all, it’s very big, the largest in the United States, at 3000 square miles, and it’s the hottest recorded place in the United States, at 134.1F 56.7C, and this surprises me, but that’s the hottest verified air temperature recorded on planet earth. California beats out Libya, wow. This record is over one hundred years old, too, in case you thought global warming might lead to encroaching on this…nope, nothing even close. I was in Phoenix AZ, on their record 122F day in 1990, and boy that was a warmth that was not going to dissipate at all. In fact when you look at country weather record temperatures, it’s somewhat shocking what mild, cool, climates most of the world has actually. I went from freezing to death in an Arizona region that never reached 100F to the California Sierra where all the plants grow and it's 100F all summer so I’m kind of biased. Some like it hot.
Anyways, Death Valley, not content with heat records, is also nearly three hundred feet below sea level, making it the lowest point in North America too. It’s a big salt sink down there, and what water there is is poisonous. The salt crust on the basin floor is up to 5 feet thick in places. Lastly, in their long line of accomplishments, Death Valley National Park in 2013 designated itself an official ‘dark sky park’, a particularly difficult and virtuous move, considering that this enormous badlands wilderness area has permanent population … of four. But someone invisible is playing bocce ball with the rocks, because the rocks move all on their own and leave solitary tracks across the desert sands. I absolutely don’t buy Wikipedia’s explanation here, freeze a rock halfway in ice and then blow on it, nah.
Also things I don’t buy, Xander’s song and dance moves this week like he doesn't know what's going on.

Description

This is Death Valley National Park, and I hope it’s the part that’s in California not the part that’s in Nevada or I’ll have egg on my face (fried, of course, by the sun). I think this one’s called ‘Natural Bridge’ (check out half mile away at the park entrance from the highway it’s twin: ‘Not-Entirely-Natural-I-Suspect-Darling Bridge') It’s in a nice little canyon that can fill up with raging torrents of water without warning, because how else do you get natural arches like that? But water…is the least of your worries in Death Valley.
First of all, it’s very big, the largest in the United States, at 3000 square miles, and it’s the hottest recorded place in the United States, at 134.1F 56.7C, and this surprises me, but that’s the hottest verified air temperature recorded on planet earth. California beats out Libya, wow. This record is over one hundred years old, too, in case you thought global warming might lead to encroaching on this…nope, nothing even close. I was in Phoenix AZ, on their record 122F day in 1990, and boy that was a warmth that was not going to dissipate at all. In fact when you look at country weather record temperatures, it’s somewhat shocking what mild, cool, climates most of the world has actually. I went from freezing to death in an Arizona region that never reached 100F to the California Sierra where all the plants grow and it's 100F all summer so I’m kind of biased. Some like it hot.
Anyways, Death Valley, not content with heat records, is also nearly three hundred feet below sea level, making it the lowest point in North America too. It’s a big salt sink down there, and what water there is is poisonous. The salt crust on the basin floor is up to 5 feet thick in places. Lastly, in their long line of accomplishments, Death Valley National Park in 2013 designated itself an official ‘dark sky park’, a particularly difficult and virtuous move, considering that this enormous badlands wilderness area has permanent population … of four. But someone invisible is playing bocce ball with the rocks, because the rocks move all on their own and leave solitary tracks across the desert sands. I absolutely don’t buy Wikipedia’s explanation here, freeze a rock halfway in ice and then blow on it, nah.
Also things I don’t buy, Xander’s song and dance moves this week like he doesn't know what's going on.