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chill13 — The River: part one

Published: 2014-05-10 01:20:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 1862; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 9
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    Part 2:   
    
    Another lazar blast sliced through the air with a whining ‘Dzzzt’, burning a hole in a tree an inch from Rover’s head and singing off a couple of his rust-colored curls.     

    “Whoo!  That’n was a close shave!”

    Rover tried to hang on to his hat as he ran through the dense foliage, dodging the red-hot weapons fire from, perhaps twenty very angry Bartrids.  The truth was he felt just the tiniest bit silly running from what amounted to a bunch of four-foot pink hedgehogs.  Of course, they were four-foot pink hedgehogs with lazars.  And it was that last bit that really counted.  

    “Did you have to mention that your last trade agreement was with the Dahlina?”  His lithe, blue first mate sprinted beside him, all four arms pumping vigorously as they tried to traverse the thick jungle without being shot or getting clotheslined by a vine or low hanging branch.

    “How was I supposed to know they were feudin’?”  Rover puffed, his chest heaving under his plaid shirt as a laser beam struck his left arm and ricocheted off the reflective metal.  If they didn’t loose these guys soon he might very well need a prosthetic for his right arm as well and maybe his head. 

    “I told you that before we landed!”  Flyspur countered, briefly leaping up the side of a tree with his sticky amphibian feet to clear a particularly dense patch of brush and nearly getting his tail fried off in the process. 

    “Make sure I’m paying attention next time----Whoa Nellie!”  Rover skidded to a stop, throwing his arms out to keep his balance.

    Flyspur barely avoided running into him.

    The jungle ended.  The chasm plunged straight down sixty feet into a foaming river.  It was as if someone had taken a huge knife and sliced the land in half leaving a jagged black gash in the green foliage. 

    The gap was wide, certainly too wide to jump and even too wide for Rover’s self propelled grappling hook. 

    They were trapped, caught between irate, lazar-wielding hedgehogs and a plummeting, rocky cliff.  

    An unexpected grin spread across Rover’s face.  “This is just like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!  Well, not exactly.  I mean there weren’t no hedgehogs involved there and it was more desert than jungle but---“

    Flyspur ignored the Human history lesson.  “What do we do?”

    Rover’s smile widened.  “We jump.”

    His first mate turned to him in shock even though he realized that it was truly their only option.  “You can’t swim!”

    Rover’s grin turned to a frown of indignation.  “I can so.”

    “With a buoyancy field!”  Flyspur protested.  With all the metal imbedded in Rover’s body, from his biometalic ribs to the metal plate in the left side of his skull, to the heavy metal in his prosthetic arm he was not exactly light in the water.

    “I got a propeller in here somewhere.”  He held up his left arm, which was essentially an elaborate Swiss Army knife, about to search for the appropriate attachment when a bolt of red hot light sliced the air directly between the two fugitives.  “No time for that!” 

    “You can’t do this.  The impact alone—“

    “On the count of three!”

    “There has to be another way!”

    “One!”

    “Keep your arms and legs straight!”  Flyspur said, speeding through the words as quickly as possible.  

    “Two.”

    The angry shouts of the Bartrids could be heard above the weapons fire.  They were only yards away and would burst through the foliage any second.

    “Hold your breath!  Please, Rover, for the love of the Colors, hold your breath.”  As a Jssfloon his throat and nostril slits closed automatically when he was underwater.  But with humans it seemed to be a completely conscious action.

    “Three!”        

    With an enthusiastic ‘Geronimooooo’ Rover grabbed Flyspur’s upper arm and yanked him out into open space.


...
(Edit: I removed Trigger from this story.  He was originally going to play a vital part but I changed a few things and decided to use what I was going to do with him in another story.  As the story is now....he was kind of getting in the way.  Sorry little guy)
....

This is not a part of my 'Outlawed' story.  Just a scene that came into my head that wouldn't go away.  Please forgive me.  

....
(Rover and Flyspur are copyright by me)

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Comments: 31

Pelycosaur24 [2014-07-20 22:43:45 +0000 UTC]

Amazing! I love your style of writing, as well as the story and characters.

By the way... do you have any sketches of those hedgehogs? - I so want to see them

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chill13 In reply to Pelycosaur24 [2014-07-20 22:49:29 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!  I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!  I was mostly trying to nail down Rover and Flyspur's personalities in this story.  Hope you like the second half

Unfortunately, no.  I just never got around to it.  

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Pelycosaur24 In reply to chill13 [2014-07-21 10:29:00 +0000 UTC]

You are welcome

Part two is just as good! Cant wait to read more Rover is a really awesome character.

ok, (but if you ever do get around to it, let me know )

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artsytarts [2014-06-05 16:34:27 +0000 UTC]

Oh my god, thank goodness that Flyspur can swim so well! That was a pretty tight situation. o_O

I love your writing.

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chill13 In reply to artsytarts [2014-06-05 19:37:04 +0000 UTC]

Yeah. Flyspur is actually more amphibian than anything and is perfectly at home in the water, a talent that has saved Rover's skin more than once.
They do tend to get into those.

Aw thanks.

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artsytarts In reply to chill13 [2014-06-13 07:38:46 +0000 UTC]

Thank goodness Rover has Flyspur around! And vice versa, I'm sure ^^

A thought just popped into my head. Totally unrelated, but interesting: Kari's species evolved from amphibians similar to frogs, so would technically be the most similar to the Jssfloon in my OC bunch. But they moved so far away from water that they lost the need to be able to swim. In turn, they had to be able to walk on sand. Hence the shape of her legs and feet. Genetically though, I think she'd still be more related to amphibians than anything else. Needless to say that Kari is absolutely rubbish at swimming.

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chill13 In reply to artsytarts [2014-06-13 22:32:25 +0000 UTC]

Certainly!  The truth is they're both ridiculously protective of each other but in vastly different ways.

Very interesting backstory you have for them!  Sounds like you've put a great deal of thought into it!

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artsytarts In reply to chill13 [2014-06-13 22:47:17 +0000 UTC]

I love those two

Thank you! I'm intensely working on them at the moment. Especially today, I've made quite a lot of progress. Specified what their planet looks like, what the climate is and stuff like that, now I'm moving on to specifying more of their traits. And I also finally gave the species a name: Nabii. I'm having loads of fun.

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chill13 In reply to artsytarts [2014-06-14 15:22:49 +0000 UTC]

Hoping to have a second part up soon....but can't decide weather to add a flashback or not.

Wow! You've been busy! Good! I can't wait to see more of these characters!

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artsytarts In reply to chill13 [2014-06-14 23:35:53 +0000 UTC]

A flashback might be good for readers who don't know your characters well yet. If that helps... XD

Yeah, I've been really busy. Cool, I'm glad you feel that way! Might still be a while until I can get a ref sheet together, but it's definitely coming.

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chill13 In reply to artsytarts [2014-06-15 22:57:15 +0000 UTC]

I decided to just leave it with a comment instead of an entire flashback.  The reason is it was actually the story of how Flyspur and Rover met, and I just wasn't sure if this was the story I wanted to reveal that in.  

OOoooooooohhhh!  Ref sheets are awesome!  

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artsytarts In reply to chill13 [2014-06-16 07:48:12 +0000 UTC]

Good point. It'll probably be more effective in a story where it adds a lot of weight to the plot.

Yes, they are!

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MerryellaBrandybuck [2014-05-10 13:12:22 +0000 UTC]

Geronimo: "Sure And I would surely help if I was there "


Me: "Good work   I hope they will make it..."

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chill13 In reply to MerryellaBrandybuck [2014-05-12 03:43:06 +0000 UTC]

Got a hand glider on you?

Well, Flyspur is sure to be fine. With his bones being a strong cartaledge he can take a pretty severe impact without breaking anything and being partially amphibious he both knows how to hit the water properly and can hold his breath for over half an hour. Rover, on the other hand, is another story.

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MerryellaBrandybuck In reply to chill13 [2014-05-12 06:55:11 +0000 UTC]

Geronimo: "Not exactly. I just can breath underwater. Was born underwater after all "

Oh, I see. Wish them good luck then...

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MerryellaBrandybuck [2014-05-10 12:36:42 +0000 UTC]

Geronimo: "C'mon, guys, you can do it!!! ... I like the 'geronimo' part by the way "

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chill13 In reply to MerryellaBrandybuck [2014-05-10 13:02:41 +0000 UTC]

Heh. You would!

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LabelPerginu [2014-05-10 02:54:51 +0000 UTC]

Oh dear! A rather tight situation here o.o; I really hope Rover'll be alright! And I've forgotten how much metal he's got in and outside of his body. He's like a walking anchor. 

I love the sketchy/blue filter here; it sets the mood perfectly C: 

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chill13 In reply to LabelPerginu [2014-05-10 03:08:33 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, they really didn't have many options.
A walking anchor is right. While technically he can swim he doesn't do it very well because his arm tries to drag him down...unless he uses the propeller attachment and then he's fine. The trouble is getting to it in time. It always takes several tries before he finds the one he wants. And in this particular situation the drop itself is a problem.

Thank you. It's just a pencil sketch with a blue filter over it. I actually tried fully coloring it but it just didn't turn out right.

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LabelPerginu In reply to chill13 [2014-05-10 17:07:48 +0000 UTC]

It's a crazy yet courageous move.
Ohhh…I see that propeller didn't work this time It must be a bit irritating having to remember where and which attachment is what…but still, it must be handy having a robotic arm like his C:

No problem! Yeah, that's what I figured cx
I think it looks fine as it is…and everything technically looks blue underwater, so it doesn't matter

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chill13 In reply to LabelPerginu [2014-05-12 03:56:31 +0000 UTC]

Well, really it's like an entire hardware store in there, with a bit of 'bigger on the inside' technology, and with his unreliable memory his hardware swaps aren't always as accurate as he'd like them to be. Sometimes it just cramps his charismatic style, other times that delay can be a bit more serious.

Heh, thanks.

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LabelPerginu In reply to chill13 [2014-05-12 22:10:19 +0000 UTC]

Oooh, right!! Like the TARDIS….and the Captain's beard c:
That would explain the situation with revealing his "plunger" He must get a tad embarrassed when he pushes the wrong button, especially when dealing with customers who are hazardous or any other foes. 

No problem  

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chill13 In reply to LabelPerginu [2014-05-12 22:21:15 +0000 UTC]

EXACTLY like the TARDIS and the Captain's beard!  And maybe Mary Poppin's bag thrown in too.  

It does embarass him a bit.  But he usually just pretends that he did it on purpose.

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LabelPerginu In reply to chill13 [2014-05-13 00:08:36 +0000 UTC]

Right?! Oh yes, cannot forget about Poppins Cx

Ah, just tries to cover it up x3

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chill13 In reply to LabelPerginu [2014-05-13 00:22:37 +0000 UTC]

Yep!

One thing Rover is not good at is admiting mistakes.  

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LabelPerginu In reply to chill13 [2014-05-13 00:23:43 +0000 UTC]

Heheh cx Aw. Yeah, he's gotta work on that

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chill13 In reply to LabelPerginu [2014-05-13 00:41:14 +0000 UTC]

Big time.

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AlexVanArsdale [2014-05-10 02:26:25 +0000 UTC]

What a dramatic picture! Great job as always!

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chill13 In reply to AlexVanArsdale [2014-05-10 02:39:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank you much. The thought came to me the other day that Rover probably couldn't swim too well with all that metal on him. The picture and the story just naturally followed.

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AlexVanArsdale In reply to chill13 [2014-05-10 03:50:07 +0000 UTC]

He needs a propeller in his arm as one of his gadgets to help him swim! 

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chill13 In reply to AlexVanArsdale [2014-05-10 03:58:16 +0000 UTC]

Ha ha! Funny you should say that! He actually has one. He mentions it in the description. But in this particular situation he didn't have time to whip it out.

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