Comments: 6
Chocban In reply to Yayume [2009-06-10 13:52:54 +0000 UTC]
Thankyou so much! I was a little hesitant about the end - what do you think?
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Yayume In reply to Chocban [2009-06-12 12:53:55 +0000 UTC]
I loved it!
This is the only thing I saw in the ending. "It’s got me to the very brink!" <---this line was a bit weird to me.
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random-cheeky-monkey [2009-06-01 12:26:42 +0000 UTC]
Oooh, very nice. Wonderful flow and feel.
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Arzades [2009-05-29 23:03:22 +0000 UTC]
Very nicely done. Rhyming and rhythm are used well, in my opinion, to emphasize the words. I'd've personalize used different words, but that doesn't mean that they'd be better.
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Chocban In reply to Arzades [2009-06-01 06:53:34 +0000 UTC]
Thanks muchly! The idea of personalising them added a different thought process to the poem, which is why I went out of my way to avoid personalising it until the last few sentences.
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