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Chocban — The L Word

Published: 2009-05-29 15:38:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 440; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 2
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Description Is ‘Love’ a word that you can say
And then try to take away?
Do you wait until you’re sure?
But how if you’ve not felt before?
Can a person try it out?
Just so’s they’ll know without a doubt?
Cause all those feelings that run deep
Can confuse in the hold they keep

To know you’ve done your best to scare
And they to show you they still care
The sickly feeling that you get
When you see them so upset.
To want to see and hold them so
And fight inside to let them go.
It’s surely signs of something more
But do you dare use jet'adore?

To throw around this word we use
The L word that we all abuse;
To treat it as a simple noun
As if the word is not renowned,
It is hard to make those see
This word cannot be used freely.
It’s got me to the very brink!
Perhaps love isn’t what I think...
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Comments: 6

Yayume [2009-06-07 00:36:29 +0000 UTC]

I this poem! I have felt this way many times, & you put it into words so nicely.

* goes &s*

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Chocban In reply to Yayume [2009-06-10 13:52:54 +0000 UTC]

Thankyou so much! I was a little hesitant about the end - what do you think?

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Yayume In reply to Chocban [2009-06-12 12:53:55 +0000 UTC]

I loved it!

This is the only thing I saw in the ending. "It’s got me to the very brink!" <---this line was a bit weird to me.

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random-cheeky-monkey [2009-06-01 12:26:42 +0000 UTC]

Oooh, very nice. Wonderful flow and feel.

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Arzades [2009-05-29 23:03:22 +0000 UTC]

Very nicely done. Rhyming and rhythm are used well, in my opinion, to emphasize the words. I'd've personalize used different words, but that doesn't mean that they'd be better.

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Chocban In reply to Arzades [2009-06-01 06:53:34 +0000 UTC]

Thanks muchly! The idea of personalising them added a different thought process to the poem, which is why I went out of my way to avoid personalising it until the last few sentences.

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