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CrashArtist — Human
Published: 2009-01-04 18:58:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 519; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 6
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Description I may never meet you
share with you
or feel with you
but I will think of you
and wonder if you do some of the same things that I do
I'll wonder if you have some of the same reasons that I do
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Passion
Hope
Freedom
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and I'll think of everything
that keeps us apart
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Oceans
Land
People
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I'll want to ask you questions
so I can think on everything
that holds us all together
and last
of all this
I'll want to tell you that I love you
because of everything that you are
because of everything that you'll be
because of the world that we share
and because of that heart wrenching condition that keeps us all
Human
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Comments: 19

leoraigarath [2009-02-01 12:29:44 +0000 UTC]

that was a very well written poem... I really enjoyed it. It has a vibe, and a rhythm. It's really good. The only thing that was a little bit disturbing is the form, what with the crossing lines being distracting. I think that even if you choose to use lines to separate stanzas, which is perfectly good, in this specific poem you should use something more "structured" to make it all look whole, and not too much cut up. Try playing with those lines, and see if anything more fitting/interesting comes up. just a suggestion of course.

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CrashArtist In reply to leoraigarath [2009-02-01 15:41:13 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I've been thinking about the breaks and other forms of separation for my poems, with some I like it, with some I feel I should go in a different direction, still working on a few different styles, thank you for the well thought through critic!

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evcfenix [2009-01-26 03:20:25 +0000 UTC]

i get what you mean entirely in this. i've been harboring the same notions since my teenage years. its just amazing isnt it, the human condition. well put.

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CrashArtist In reply to evcfenix [2009-02-04 20:58:51 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

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CrashArtist [2009-01-07 20:54:58 +0000 UTC]

Wow, I can't believe you put that their, I love that soundtrack/song and I am so glad you think that

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AlishmcMalish [2009-01-07 20:40:20 +0000 UTC]

oh my god, that goes so well with this song [link] (i was listening to it while reading lolx)

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teraquads [2009-01-06 22:45:29 +0000 UTC]

Very lovely...reminiscent of a few words that inspired me a while ago.
Bravo to you, especially for being able to write a happy poem (they're harder than sad ones, factually). This is really great.

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CrashArtist In reply to teraquads [2009-01-06 23:08:29 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much

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palaeochannel6 [2009-01-04 21:40:05 +0000 UTC]

This is stunning work. I love this!!!

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CrashArtist In reply to palaeochannel6 [2009-01-04 22:17:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you I'm glad you enjoy it

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katiebird400 [2009-01-04 20:26:00 +0000 UTC]

OMG I really like that! it was like...you zoomed into my mind and read my thoughts.

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CrashArtist In reply to katiebird400 [2009-01-04 21:01:11 +0000 UTC]

Haha, yes, well that was no accident I'm in your head! I'm glad you liked it

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katiebird400 In reply to CrashArtist [2009-01-04 22:29:55 +0000 UTC]

Wuh oh...I KNEW I shoulda patched up that hole....



And I Loved it!

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CrashArtist In reply to katiebird400 [2009-01-04 22:38:18 +0000 UTC]

D'awwww

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katiebird400 In reply to CrashArtist [2009-01-04 23:49:09 +0000 UTC]

Take the hug seriously because it is a rare happening.

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CrashArtist In reply to katiebird400 [2009-01-04 23:57:18 +0000 UTC]

Yess'um I sure will... hehe couldn't help myself, but I most certainly will

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katiebird400 In reply to CrashArtist [2009-01-05 01:25:04 +0000 UTC]

Hehe s'okay I forgive easily.

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Waiting-For-A-Moment [2009-01-04 19:14:40 +0000 UTC]

I love this! I've always thought that the only thing that keeps (us) [human] is passion and love, and this is really good. I think that's what your addressing at least...

I love your writing, your so good at telling the truth. Great job, again.

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CrashArtist In reply to Waiting-For-A-Moment [2009-01-04 19:26:12 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, and yes, telling the truth is what I aim for I'm glad I'm good at it, I've always believed what made people human was the ability to be flawed, and that we are all connected through our love and passion

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