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dai-hima — I can't kill myself yet.

Published: 2009-10-08 05:07:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 1305; Favourites: 52; Downloads: 50
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Description I can't kill myself yet.
There are so many things I have yet to accomplish.
There are so many things I want to do.
There are so many things I want to say.
There are so many people I wanted to love.
There are so many moments I...


There are so many moments I wanted to kill you.
There are so many moments I wanted to die.
There are so many moments I regretted ever meeting to you, telling you those things, sharing those moments, unforgettable, stone in my mind.
There are so many memories I don't want anymore.

But I...


Maybe it's better off if I died.
But I can't kill myself yet.
But I can't kill myself yet.
But I can't kill myself yet.





Here we are, spread out on the earth as newborns, naked, stripped of pride and dignity and hope and the love of God and left, forlorn, forsaked, covered in new dirt, embracing our stupidity and pointless existence. They told me there was rebirth here, but the new life I left to reach this place was just as meaningless as the brown and green and yellow scenery I can see from all directions here. Green. I hate green. I hate the sky unless it is pure blue and I hate your blood for being so brown. I hate you. Did you know that? And yet my hate is so worthless it can only be love.



No, I can't kill myself.


All I ask is that you remember me, though the ages may pass as we all pass, that in your sleep and in your dreams and in your heavens and in your God and hope would you please, please remember me, even while I am still living on this earth, and when I am old and grey and it is my time to die, if you are still with me, living and decaying as you sit, would you please bury me with the cross, on a hill with no green, and pray for my soul as I take my last breaths, that as I descend to the depths of hell my substance might somehow catch a glimpse of the glory above, from which I will forever be barred from.
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Comments: 43

Sui-Kaede [2010-01-08 16:16:34 +0000 UTC]

It's the most beautiful thing that i've seen *___*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Aiyai [2009-10-10 21:35:58 +0000 UTC]

Beautifully depressing ^^. I really like the brushstrokes of the red, expressive, plus the artist's comment tells a nice story. ^^

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Luhuna [2009-10-10 13:18:36 +0000 UTC]

It's a awesome picture but it doesn't like the other you make...
But I think all people are sometimes depressed, but you have so much things to do: I know that when I'm depressed I eat two thousand chocolate cakes and phone friends and go to see a movie, or go in the city to drink a coffee next to the beach (a very very expensive coffee!!!4euro one cup!!O_o")...
I don't know if I help you, but I hope you are in better mood after you have seen what for idiotic things I do when I'm sad^^"

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kairi315 [2009-10-09 19:29:28 +0000 UTC]

Very depressing D:
the drawing looks SO GOOD! Gose very well with the poem

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

eartianwerewolf [2009-10-08 20:46:14 +0000 UTC]

*reads descripiton box* I can't kill myself yet..hmn..sounds kinda like something I told myself during my depression. Though I was more like "I don't want to kill myself, but I definitely don't want what I'm having anymore."

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

amuhn [2009-10-08 20:30:47 +0000 UTC]

despite the dark theme, he looks like he's smiling to me. D: It's like a 'sad sigh' smile.

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Sketch-to-Learn [2009-10-08 19:38:24 +0000 UTC]

I totally feel this way right nows;;

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AresX-666 [2009-10-08 19:10:46 +0000 UTC]

;o; DON'T BE SAD, BE HAPPY CAUSE IF YOUR NOT HAPPY, I'LL RUN OVER AND GIVE YOU A MASSIVE BEAR HUG AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE HAPPY CAUSE YOU CAN'T BE SAD D:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Ine-chan [2009-10-08 18:45:19 +0000 UTC]

so..SAD.
Don't be sad!
You have no time to be sad! you must be happy!
And that's a fact. orz
Also cookies, cookies are a fact.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ah-hin [2009-10-08 14:28:36 +0000 UTC]

wow i finally figured out what OTL is supposed to be. XD
ANYWAY
you can't kill yourself becuse you would cause everyone in the world to mourn you and all your talents :c
i love you so freaking much- don't even think about killing yourself D:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AgitoZ13 [2009-10-08 13:03:52 +0000 UTC]

This is sad~

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Koichi-Sama [2009-10-08 11:57:57 +0000 UTC]

that's true. there was a time I murdered them over and over O: and when playing halo it would help to pretend they're the aliens lmao.
J/k.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MurakisSlave [2009-10-08 07:13:20 +0000 UTC]

>.>

I've been feeling like this a lot lately... But, we gotta hang in there, ne?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AnnyKi [2009-10-08 06:45:06 +0000 UTC]

That's sure depressing.
But somehow the line "There are so many moments I wanted to kill you." makes me laugh

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dai-hima In reply to AnnyKi [2009-10-08 07:02:26 +0000 UTC]

urhurhurhur. CB

Everyone has those days! *shot'd for bad Hannah Montana imitation*

Seriously~~. LOL I think everyone's murdered at least one person in their mind at least once. XDDD

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

KodakBear In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 21:25:57 +0000 UTC]

LOL
Ive killed many a people in my mind before~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dai-hima In reply to KodakBear [2009-10-09 01:07:47 +0000 UTC]

8DD huhuhu.

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AnnyKi In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 07:19:06 +0000 UTC]

... "Everybody makes mistakes!" Yup, you got that right Killed at least once, but everytime someone gets on my nervs, I can't stop imagining the moment when they get blasted away by someone.

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EmoAllDayLong [2009-10-08 06:41:18 +0000 UTC]

YOU ARE SAD!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dai-hima In reply to EmoAllDayLong [2009-10-08 07:02:34 +0000 UTC]

LOL!

Yes I am~~ 8D

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DanielMaja [2009-10-08 05:51:15 +0000 UTC]

Thats one depressing and emo poem/song thing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dai-hima In reply to DanielMaja [2009-10-08 06:00:10 +0000 UTC]

LOL! WAHAHAHA xDDDD LOL

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Hana-Maehata [2009-10-08 05:35:50 +0000 UTC]

Wow. oAo The picture looks great, and the description...

I'm pretty speechless.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dai-hima In reply to Hana-Maehata [2009-10-08 05:42:57 +0000 UTC]

Hahahaha! >w< lol~~~

Please don't let it scare you~~. xDD Although it most likely does a lot OTL


I get really depressed at times, and it's hard to express. @w@;; Sigh. I hate my hand for drawing happy things at these times. I wish I could draw manly men and gore but I can't. OTL

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Hana-Maehata In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 11:27:44 +0000 UTC]

Haha, don't worry it doesn't quite scare me. A bit worried, but not scared.

If it makes you feel any better, I can't express myself through art, either. It's hard for me to draw anything depressing that looks decent.

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dai-hima In reply to Hana-Maehata [2009-10-09 04:20:27 +0000 UTC]

;w; buuu!!!! A kindred spirit!!!! *sniffles and tackleglomps you*

Ahahaha, I try to take myself seriously when I draw, but it's hard. XDDD

;w; aaw, you shouldn't be worried! Lol I would never kill myself. It's really gross, I think... self-murder...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Hana-Maehata In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-09 13:41:22 +0000 UTC]

Normally I have to draw a character that represents the emotion I feel, rather than drawing an image that depicts it.

And I'd hope not! D: I'd be a sad Hana. ;w;

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SilverWhirl [2009-10-08 05:28:02 +0000 UTC]

You have things to do! People to see! So much ahead of you... People to see! So many oppurtunities! People to see! People to see!

...and people to see.

ILU.

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dai-hima In reply to SilverWhirl [2009-10-08 05:33:32 +0000 UTC]

Wahahaha!!!

LOL I looooove you~.

YOU to see! hohoho.
and maybe mikaru from DiO. ;o

JKJK. :33 I love you~~~

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SilverWhirl In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 05:38:47 +0000 UTC]

Teehee.

I love you too!

Me? Really? I couldn't have hoped for THAT. Teehee. I love you toooo. We could see Mikaru together... :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dai-hima In reply to SilverWhirl [2009-10-08 05:46:52 +0000 UTC]

*//A//* D-do you know who he is~~~?

>//w//< Yes you!!! Lol, you're the only person whose existence keeps the world spinning. *3*


*shot'd*

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SilverWhirl In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 05:53:15 +0000 UTC]

The singer for Distraught Overlord righttt?

D'awww well, that sounds awesome! I like the world to spin... that day night thing and stuff, so we can sit in front of a sunset and enjoy a picnic and listening to a wonderful song together and joyfully peering into each other's eyes.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dai-hima In reply to SilverWhirl [2009-10-08 06:05:28 +0000 UTC]

YES. MY GAWD HE IS SEXY LOL *shot'd*

>//w//< Yes~~!!! *A* Aaah that'd be too good to be true, dearest! ;w;

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SilverWhirl In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 06:12:30 +0000 UTC]

Ahhaha yus.

That'd be pretty sweet! I'd love itt.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Genuine-Anguisette [2009-10-08 05:13:02 +0000 UTC]

"That's not friendly."- Quoting the Ghostbusters game my husband is currently playing.

But seriously- It's so much different then what you usually do! I love how it's still the "bright, light" colors you usually use, yet it's so... dark!
Wonderfully done.

Nice surrender.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dai-hima In reply to Genuine-Anguisette [2009-10-08 05:17:11 +0000 UTC]

Lol! Ahahaha, yeah, I feel depressed all the time, but it never works out when I try to express it. """OTL

LOL I really bet a few people'll stop watching me if they read this. >3>;; orz but we're not all happy all the time...

...are we? @A@;;

Sometimes I think I've missed the train heading towards happiness. OTL But as you point out, I can't use dark colors. @A@;; I just can't. x33

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Genuine-Anguisette In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 05:22:28 +0000 UTC]

Awwe. lovelovelovelovelove.
I know how it is, most of the women in my family suffer from bipolar disorder, including myself. And by most of the woman, I mean my sister, mother, and my deceased grandmother.

Happy all the time is silly, cause I mean, if you aren't sad, there is no happy. > Right?
Right.

I will keep watching you, as it's still pretty. Even if it's like... blood.... @.@ halp.x3

>>;;;
that OTL always looks silly to me... haha especially with the ''''''''''''' cause it's the backside of his head... ><;;;; Shh... I'm just talking now. @@;

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dai-hima In reply to Genuine-Anguisette [2009-10-08 05:30:44 +0000 UTC]

*A* G-good point! sad makes happy what it is! *shot'd*

;3; buuu really? *sighs* hahahaha, just living in this house makes me depressed. OTL

Not that anything's wrong with the house itself. x3


Back of his head? 8'D *has no idea what you mean* xDDD LOL, I know, the blood is tacky. It wasn't supposed to be there... OTL really. I just was frustrated and teary because I wanted to express my womanly angst and then it was like oops, there's red on my paper. 8'D

OHOHOHO I love you~~ *3*

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Genuine-Anguisette In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 05:35:48 +0000 UTC]

WOMANLY ANGST, WHAT KIND OF BLOOD IS THAT?!
DDDDDDDDD: O>o
x3 j/k I know what you mean. (again) I don't like living in my apartment, it's kind of gloomy here.



OTL isn't it a Man's head, his arms, and then his legs???

'''''''''OTL seems weird when it's usually o.o;;;;;;;;;;;; the side of the head?

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dai-hima In reply to Genuine-Anguisette [2009-10-08 05:46:02 +0000 UTC]

oh yes! LOL I guess it's weird, hohohoho. hmm. o3o I guess it looks good as "OTL but not """"OTL. xDDD LOL I once wrote OTL~ and my friend pointed out to me that that looked... weird. xDDD hahaha~!

*3* OHOHOHOHO. IT'S ANGSTY SEXEH BLOOD. ;3; y-you don't like the apartment~?


...
OTL I had to break into my own house today. ;; through the kitchen window. xDDD

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Genuine-Anguisette In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 05:53:14 +0000 UTC]

xxxxD Hahah
OTL~ looks vuuuurrry weird. x3

Rawr~ I want a bigger living space, maybeees.

Oh, that's the good kind of blood... I think o.o'

O.o
Did you loose your keys? Maybees?

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dai-hima In reply to Genuine-Anguisette [2009-10-08 06:10:49 +0000 UTC]

nuu, I dern forgot them in mah purse. ;w; wuuuu! *sniffles*

>3< Best type of blood there is! *shot'd*

A bigger place, ooh~! *//3//* You and your husband need a house, hohoho!

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Genuine-Anguisette In reply to dai-hima [2009-10-08 06:29:43 +0000 UTC]

Awwee~~ Bad keys. >3 They should follow you around.

Nomnomnom.

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