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This is a piece about the search for my own personal truth about religion. I want you to know that I'm not an atheist and I'm not trying to disprove God. God absolutely exist, but he is not the soul murderer that brings death and judgment upon his people. I was born into a Catholic family and I went through the usual rituals like my first confession, communion, etc. The catholic schools I went to taught me about the love of Christ and his mother Mary and all of the saints. My parents, the school, and the catholic church instilled the beliefs in my head that I was a sinner and if did really bad things I was going to hell. They made sure that they ingrained their visions of hell deeply into my vulnerable young mind. I've been absolutely terrified of going to hell well into my adulthood. All of my life I never understood why a God that loved his creations so much would send his own children into hell. Would you want to do that to your own child? It never made any sense to me and that never felt right within in my own heart. As young children we are told exactly what God is and what he will do to you if you don't behave or believe. Christianity arose from an extremely large book called the Bible that many people sadly take literally. Most of the Bible was written over 2000 years ago and the rules of their culture reflect their own time period. These people didn't know any better and they treated their women, slaves, other cultures, and other races like shit. Their own God reflected their own culture and their time period.
When I was around 18 or 19 years old I started my own personal crusade for the truth about it all. I started to read the Bible and I started my search for the real Jesus. I was drowning in a deep depression at the time and I wanted Jesus to save me, like he saved so many of his people. When I started to read the Bible I was deeply appalled and disgusted by the way God savagely killed and punished his own people. "This is not how God is", I thought to myself. A true loving God would never treat his people like that. I knew that the Bible's depiction of God in the old Testiment was false. I'm not saying that the whole Bible is wrong. The Bible is full of passages of love, beauty, truth, and wisdom. I'm saying that the God I believe in would never treat his creations like the God treated his creations in the old Testiment. I also read all four gospels about Jesus and his teachings to his people. Most of his teachings rang true deep within my heart, but I didn't believe that he was a divine being that performed all of the miracles he performed. I believed that Jesus was a regular prophet and human being that spread his beautiful truth to his people. There is no hard proof that such a Divine man existed in history. I did several hours of research on the divine Jesus and I always came up empty handed. I read about other savior or sun Gods that existed besides Jesus. They were born on the winter solstice they all went through some kind of passion and they all died and rose from the dead. That concept has been around since the time of the ancient Egyptians, who existed way before Jesus was even born. The ancient Egyptians are the original creators of all major religions and Western Philosophy. I read this truth in many books and watched many documentaries on the subject. This real truth is written on all of the tombs and temples of the ancient Egyptian's architecture. Some stories in the Bible date well before the time of the Bible, like the epic of Gilgamesh and the original creation story. Noah's Ark is another version of the story the epic of Gilgamesh that was written well before the Bible's time. The Adam and Eve creation story was carved into an Egyptian wall way before the Bible was written.
As a young girl I always wondered if I existed before I was born. I also constantly thought about where we go after we die. My curiosity led me to research the unknown. Why does life exist. Why does space exist. Why is the universe infinite and filled with so many galaxies and stars. I wanted to know it all. As I grew older I realized that we are all connected by the same force of existence that I called God. I later referred to God as the source of it all. This source is responsible for all of space and time, our existence, other worlds, and most importantly love. I began to connect and tune into this source within me and I suddenly knew the meaning of life and everything around me. I realized that we all have spirit guides that guide us through life. They talk to us all of the time but we prefer to tune them out. Sometimes they shout thoughts into our ears and we have no choice but to listen. This happened to me while I was sitting in the back of church bored to death. While I was trying not to fall asleep a large thought, in the form of a women's voice, erupted within my mind. The voice told me that "there is no way we can learn everything we need to know in one life." This is a thought that is not taught in the Catholic faith. That thought changed my perception on everything in an instant. I finally knew that we reincarnate throughout time and space to learn, feel, know and experience the source. The source within us is constantly experiencing, and gaining knowledge about life on earth and life on billions of other planets like our own. When I look into the Hubble deep field pictures I feel God's presence the most. The source told me that the universe goes on forever and so does all of his creations. There is no death and there is no hell, there is only love.
Of course I didn't believe there was no hell at first. The thought of hell was so ingrained into my mind by organized religion that I believed that it existed. And what about people who go to hell during their near death experience. Those near death experiences haunted me to the core. I asked the source and my guides if there is no hell than why do people have hellish near death experiences. The answer came to me while I watched several near death experiences on You Tube. The people who have bad near death experiences are creating these hellish experiences because hell was so ingrained into their minds during their life. Sometimes our own beliefs can come to life after we die. For instance, a Christian will see Jesus come before them after they die because that is what they believed in. A Buddhist will see Buddha after they die and a Muslim will see Mahaumad after they die. There is no right or wrong deity that we believe in. The source will reveal itself in any way we believe the source to be. The source tells me that it doesn't matter what people believe in as long as they are kind and loving to all life forms and this planet.
My dearest soulmate committed suicide about 26 years ago. I feared his soul went straight to hell because that is what I was taught by religion. After I learned about his tragic death I tried to contact him, but I got no response. I thought that I lost him forever and that devastated me beyond repair. Nine years later he finally responded to my cries and I rescued his soul from the hell that he built around himself. I wrote a memoir called "An Echo Within" about the whole experience. Read the chapter called "The Confessions from a Lost and Forgotten Soul" to see how I rescued him from the cemetery that he killed himself in. His spirit has been attached to my spirit for the last 17 years and he is at peace as long as I'm at peace. He wasn't at peace during the first nine years of his death, because he was constantly surrounded by the hell his life put him into. Since he died in a very negative way he had no idea how to move on from his constant suffering and pain. The light was constantly reaching out to him, but he didn't have a clue how to face the light after he surrounded himself in total darkness. I believe that he had several issues that he had to work through on his own before he could ask for help. When he was finally ready to ask for help I rushed quickly to his side. My soulmate and I communicate to each other through our thoughts and feelings. He can read my thoughts before they come out of my mouth. My soulmate has taught me that we do go on forever and there is no Christian hell. The only hell we experience is our own personal hell. Love ones may be separated from time to time but we always make it back to each other in the end. Our love for one another will never die and we will never die. That is what I learned throughout my whole personal experience.

Sources:
Volcanos- free to use under the unsplash license image by Andres Montenegro on Unsplash
Free to use under the Unsplash License image by Ása Steinarsdóttir on unsplash
free to use under the unsplash license image by Diego Sierra on unsplash
free to use under the unsplash license image by Dmitri Zotov on unsplash
Free to use under the Unsplash License photo by Izabela Kraus on unsplash
free to use under the unsplash license image by Jeferson Argueta on unsplash
Free to use under the Unsplash License image by Jonatan Pie on unsplash
free to use under the unsplash license image by mana5280 on unsplash
Copyright-Only Dedication* (based on United States law) or Public Domain Certification image by dric on pixabay
Free to use under the Content License No attribution required image by AlexAntropov86 on pixabay
Flat earth dome- Stock Photo ID: 2234515375 image by buradaki on Shutterstock
Brain- image by danheighton on adobe stock
Skeleton arms- Stock Photo ID: 131869055 image by pterwort on Shutterstock
Water- Free to use under the Content License No attribution required image by Michelle_Maria on pixalbay
Sunset- Sunset, Dawn, Sun image. Free for use image by NoName_13 on pixabay
Hubble deep field image- Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0) Creator: NASA Hubble Space Telescope
Girl jumping out of water- image by By azazello on adobe stock
Cloud reference- Copyright-Only Dedication* (based on United States law) or Public Domain Certification CC0 Public Domain
Free for personal and commercial use image from pixalhere

Description
This is a piece about the search for my own personal truth about religion. I want you to know that I'm not an atheist and I'm not trying to disprove God. God absolutely exist, but he is not the soul murderer that brings death and judgment upon his people. I was born into a Catholic family and I went through the usual rituals like my first confession, communion, etc. The catholic schools I went to taught me about the love of Christ and his mother Mary and all of the saints. My parents, the school, and the catholic church instilled the beliefs in my head that I was a sinner and if did really bad things I was going to hell. They made sure that they ingrained their visions of hell deeply into my vulnerable young mind. I've been absolutely terrified of going to hell well into my adulthood. All of my life I never understood why a God that loved his creations so much would send his own children into hell. Would you want to do that to your own child? It never made any sense to me and that never felt right within in my own heart. As young children we are told exactly what God is and what he will do to you if you don't behave or believe. Christianity arose from an extremely large book called the Bible that many people sadly take literally. Most of the Bible was written over 2000 years ago and the rules of their culture reflect their own time period. These people didn't know any better and they treated their women, slaves, other cultures, and other races like shit. Their own God reflected their own culture and their time period.
When I was around 18 or 19 years old I started my own personal crusade for the truth about it all. I started to read the Bible and I started my search for the real Jesus. I was drowning in a deep depression at the time and I wanted Jesus to save me, like he saved so many of his people. When I started to read the Bible I was deeply appalled and disgusted by the way God savagely killed and punished his own people. "This is not how God is", I thought to myself. A true loving God would never treat his people like that. I knew that the Bible's depiction of God in the old Testiment was false. I'm not saying that the whole Bible is wrong. The Bible is full of passages of love, beauty, truth, and wisdom. I'm saying that the God I believe in would never treat his creations like the God treated his creations in the old Testiment. I also read all four gospels about Jesus and his teachings to his people. Most of his teachings rang true deep within my heart, but I didn't believe that he was a divine being that performed all of the miracles he performed. I believed that Jesus was a regular prophet and human being that spread his beautiful truth to his people. There is no hard proof that such a Divine man existed in history. I did several hours of research on the divine Jesus and I always came up empty handed. I read about other savior or sun Gods that existed besides Jesus. They were born on the winter solstice they all went through some kind of passion and they all died and rose from the dead. That concept has been around since the time of the ancient Egyptians, who existed way before Jesus was even born. The ancient Egyptians are the original creators of all major religions and Western Philosophy. I read this truth in many books and watched many documentaries on the subject. This real truth is written on all of the tombs and temples of the ancient Egyptian's architecture. Some stories in the Bible date well before the time of the Bible, like the epic of Gilgamesh and the original creation story. Noah's Ark is another version of the story the epic of Gilgamesh that was written well before the Bible's time. The Adam and Eve creation story was carved into an Egyptian wall way before the Bible was written.
As a young girl I always wondered if I existed before I was born. I also constantly thought about where we go after we die. My curiosity led me to research the unknown. Why does life exist. Why does space exist. Why is the universe infinite and filled with so many galaxies and stars. I wanted to know it all. As I grew older I realized that we are all connected by the same force of existence that I called God. I later referred to God as the source of it all. This source is responsible for all of space and time, our existence, other worlds, and most importantly love. I began to connect and tune into this source within me and I suddenly knew the meaning of life and everything around me. I realized that we all have spirit guides that guide us through life. They talk to us all of the time but we prefer to tune them out. Sometimes they shout thoughts into our ears and we have no choice but to listen. This happened to me while I was sitting in the back of church bored to death. While I was trying not to fall asleep a large thought, in the form of a women's voice, erupted within my mind. The voice told me that "there is no way we can learn everything we need to know in one life." This is a thought that is not taught in the Catholic faith. That thought changed my perception on everything in an instant. I finally knew that we reincarnate throughout time and space to learn, feel, know and experience the source. The source within us is constantly experiencing, and gaining knowledge about life on earth and life on billions of other planets like our own. When I look into the Hubble deep field pictures I feel God's presence the most. The source told me that the universe goes on forever and so does all of his creations. There is no death and there is no hell, there is only love.
Of course I didn't believe there was no hell at first. The thought of hell was so ingrained into my mind by organized religion that I believed that it existed. And what about people who go to hell during their near death experience. Those near death experiences haunted me to the core. I asked the source and my guides if there is no hell than why do people have hellish near death experiences. The answer came to me while I watched several near death experiences on You Tube. The people who have bad near death experiences are creating these hellish experiences because hell was so ingrained into their minds during their life. Sometimes our own beliefs can come to life after we die. For instance, a Christian will see Jesus come before them after they die because that is what they believed in. A Buddhist will see Buddha after they die and a Muslim will see Mahaumad after they die. There is no right or wrong deity that we believe in. The source will reveal itself in any way we believe the source to be. The source tells me that it doesn't matter what people believe in as long as they are kind and loving to all life forms and this planet.
My dearest soulmate committed suicide about 26 years ago. I feared his soul went straight to hell because that is what I was taught by religion. After I learned about his tragic death I tried to contact him, but I got no response. I thought that I lost him forever and that devastated me beyond repair. Nine years later he finally responded to my cries and I rescued his soul from the hell that he built around himself. I wrote a memoir called "An Echo Within" about the whole experience. Read the chapter called "The Confessions from a Lost and Forgotten Soul" to see how I rescued him from the cemetery that he killed himself in. His spirit has been attached to my spirit for the last 17 years and he is at peace as long as I'm at peace. He wasn't at peace during the first nine years of his death, because he was constantly surrounded by the hell his life put him into. Since he died in a very negative way he had no idea how to move on from his constant suffering and pain. The light was constantly reaching out to him, but he didn't have a clue how to face the light after he surrounded himself in total darkness. I believe that he had several issues that he had to work through on his own before he could ask for help. When he was finally ready to ask for help I rushed quickly to his side. My soulmate and I communicate to each other through our thoughts and feelings. He can read my thoughts before they come out of my mouth. My soulmate has taught me that we do go on forever and there is no Christian hell. The only hell we experience is our own personal hell. Love ones may be separated from time to time but we always make it back to each other in the end. Our love for one another will never die and we will never die. That is what I learned throughout my whole personal experience.

Sources:
Volcanos- free to use under the unsplash license image by Andres Montenegro on Unsplash
Free to use under the Unsplash License image by Ása Steinarsdóttir on unsplash
free to use under the unsplash license image by Diego Sierra on unsplash
free to use under the unsplash license image by Dmitri Zotov on unsplash
Free to use under the Unsplash License photo by Izabela Kraus on unsplash
free to use under the unsplash license image by Jeferson Argueta on unsplash
Free to use under the Unsplash License image by Jonatan Pie on unsplash
free to use under the unsplash license image by mana5280 on unsplash
Copyright-Only Dedication* (based on United States law) or Public Domain Certification image by dric on pixabay
Free to use under the Content License No attribution required image by AlexAntropov86 on pixabay
Flat earth dome- Stock Photo ID: 2234515375 image by buradaki on Shutterstock
Brain- image by danheighton on adobe stock
Skeleton arms- Stock Photo ID: 131869055 image by pterwort on Shutterstock
Water- Free to use under the Content License No attribution required image by Michelle_Maria on pixalbay
Sunset- Sunset, Dawn, Sun image. Free for use image by NoName_13 on pixabay
Hubble deep field image- Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0) Creator: NASA Hubble Space Telescope
Girl jumping out of water- image by By azazello on adobe stock
Cloud reference- Copyright-Only Dedication* (based on United States law) or Public Domain Certification CC0 Public Domain
Free for personal and commercial use image from pixalhere