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DeweyMeow — Pastel Sky // Birds

#background #birds #clouds #girl #moon #pastel #pink #purple #soft #artfortunes
Published: 2021-04-27 23:06:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 4210; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 0
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Description I'll be honest, I did not plan out the composition of this piece AT ALL. This originally started off as just a plain, calm, sort of simple, pastel sky, but I wanted to try and make it more interesting so I added more components to it like the girl (me) on the cliff and then the moon, followed by the tree and then about a hundred birds because why not. I'll be honest, in a way this was a sort of vent, but more of a passion project- so don't worry. I'm alright. For now, anyways..

I decided to take a little bit of a different take with this piece by using more pastel and desaturated colours this time rather than bright colours and a load of effects and things. I'll be honest, this could have gone much better, but because this is the first time I've really experimented properly with those sorts of colours in this way, I'm not too annoyed by it. I'll improve in time, probably. Maybe. Hopefully.. I don't know. It's up to God.

Anyways (I've been forgetting to put this in my descriptions lately, sorry!)
Time taken - Around 2 hours
Made with - Computer mouse & Krita (as always)

Extra other vent info
My close-r friends who follow me on Twitter will know I tweeted out a sketcky drawing and said about how that would be my last rough sketch (basically drawing) for the next 3 weeks, and you know, that would definitely have been the case, but today I really just lost my mind entirely and things really got a bit out of hand, so I had to try and find a way to cope and keep myself calm after I'd gotten myself back together, and of course, what better way to do that than drawing accompanied with some calm music?

I won't go into too many details because I know this is a public thing and and anyone and everyone can view this, but I will just say this;

If you want a brief, honest and sane summary:
Life has been really difficult for me lately because I've been suffering from a lot in silence (I have people to go to, my fear of bothering them just gets the better of me, I guess..). I won't say what, because honestly a lot of it is sort of personal and I don't like writing about it here for just anyone to see, but, know that I'm not really doing that well lately, physically and mentally. I know that brings a smile to some peoples' faces (You know exactly who you are.), but I'm just putting this out here as more of a warning than a "pity me" sign. I'm not okay, and honestly, I don't think I will be for a while because of everything that's going on, so if I go inactive here for a while, the reason being is that I'm just taking a much needed break. I promise, I really do love and enjoy creating little artworks or posting kind, inspiring, truthful messages on my main twitter account, but I really can't keep doing that in this state, so.. just be mindful of that. That's all.

I don't want to get anyone's hopes up or potentially hurt anyone, but, if I do stop posting on my social medias for a while without warning suddenly and don't come back, the likelihood is I'm not here anymore. I really don't like saying this sort of thing, but I'm going to be honest, because this is something serious and I've been meaning to address it for a while now. Irrespective of whether it be due to suicide or physical illness, I just want to try and make one thing clear if my time does come soon:

To anyone that I've ever hurt, I'm saying this with my whole heart, I'm sorry. I really am. I hope you can forgive me one day for the things I may have done, whether they be intentional or not, that upset you.
And to anyone who's hurt me, I forgive you. Whether you feel guilty for the things you did to me or not, or whether you're even asking for forgiveness or not, I forgive you.

Why? Because I can't leave this world holding hatred in my heart for anyone. If you're someone I ever said I hated, know that hatred has expired. I love you, and I wish the best for you, no matter who you are. I understand not everyone will accept things that easily and misunderstandings will always remain when people refuse to make an effort to understand me at all, but I'm just cleaning my side of the story, so please know that if there is something bad going on between me and you (the reader, whoever you may be), you are most likely the one keeping it going. I have no strength left to fight or hate others anymore. Everyone in my book is neutral now. Whether you stay that way is up to you. But my point has been made, whether you choose to understand it properly is your choice, not mine.

Anyways, this is getting too long, but the main message is just that I'm struggling a lot both physically and mentally right now, and if I disappear for good please know that regardless of who you are, I love and forgive you, and I hope you can do the same with me too. Thank you for reading this, viewer. Goodnight.


edit: One of my favourite artists actually just released a new song a few hours I uploaded this that defines my state at the moment perfectly, so if you don't want to read any of my vents and have any sort of interest in the way I feel right now, or just feel really down and want to listen to something depressing, give this a listen:

Citizen Soldier - If I Surrender 
And, if you're in the same place as I am mentally right now, I have a message for you:

Please, don't surrender. I know it feels like there's no point in trying when no one even cares about your existence or suffering in the slightest, I know it feels like this world wouldn't even notice if you were gone, but please.. don't do it. I promise you, there IS someone out there who does care about your life and pain, whether you believe it or not, and if you don't think that person exists, I will be that person for you. I might not know you at all, and I know there's no real way to give any reassurance online, but please do know that I do love, care for, and want you alive with all my heart, regardless of who you are. Everyone in this world deserves to be loved and feel wanted.

I'm not a therapist (so please don't treat me like one), I'm just a broken-hearted, scarred teenage girl myself with so many of my own issues, but please, if you feel like you don't have anyone you can go to or you just really need someone to talk things out to, know that my DMs on Twitter (@DepressingDewey) and this site (via chat) are open for you to come and talk.

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