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Description

life will always have its ups and downs

ive seen that in my life, especially recently

i've had a lot of highs, but only because I've reached new lows

i feel my happy spirit has run dry now; i can't just be happy for no reason anymore

i cant escape the fact that i have problems with myself

problems in my life dont bother me nearly as much as the problems i see within myself

fearful

sensitive

ashamed

embarrassed

slow

recumbent

lost

i have good things in this life

i do love this life

i wouldn't give it up for any other life

but with how far i can fall and drag myself

sometimes it's tempting

not suicide. that would mean no life

just an alternate one

i know i wouldn't be the same if i had a different life

i like being myself, but at the same time, sometimes I really fall deep in my problems

even with the support of friends (god i love them so much)

sometimes i reach new lows. not often, thankfully

sorry for not posting often. I have really just been struggling to uplift myself. I need to do more for my own enjoyment, and not worry about the satisfaction of others; i need to accept my mistakes and not dwell on them; i need to keep my emotions under control, while still allowing them to show; i know what i need to fix in my life, and that in itself is a gift

not everyone knows what exactly is wrong. took me a while to figure out, but I think I got it nailed down, somewhat.

I've been trying to spend these past months getting myself up to the nigh-impossible highs I once had, while still maintaining other people and keeping myself active and sane.

i got a new job; almost lost it; somehow revived it better than ever; failed my driving test; somehow only have to wait two months for my next attempt, as opposed to literally six months like last time.

i want to feel. i want to let my emotions out. i want to be free of this pit. holy hell i didn't know just how much deep feeling i'd been covering up this whole time.

how did i ignore this.

this sucks.

Description

life will always have its ups and downs

ive seen that in my life, especially recently

i've had a lot of highs, but only because I've reached new lows

i feel my happy spirit has run dry now; i can't just be happy for no reason anymore

i cant escape the fact that i have problems with myself

problems in my life dont bother me nearly as much as the problems i see within myself

fearful

sensitive

ashamed

embarrassed

slow

recumbent

lost

i have good things in this life

i do love this life

i wouldn't give it up for any other life

but with how far i can fall and drag myself

sometimes it's tempting

not suicide. that would mean no life

just an alternate one

i know i wouldn't be the same if i had a different life

i like being myself, but at the same time, sometimes I really fall deep in my problems

even with the support of friends (god i love them so much)

sometimes i reach new lows. not often, thankfully

sorry for not posting often. I have really just been struggling to uplift myself. I need to do more for my own enjoyment, and not worry about the satisfaction of others; i need to accept my mistakes and not dwell on them; i need to keep my emotions under control, while still allowing them to show; i know what i need to fix in my life, and that in itself is a gift

not everyone knows what exactly is wrong. took me a while to figure out, but I think I got it nailed down, somewhat.

I've been trying to spend these past months getting myself up to the nigh-impossible highs I once had, while still maintaining other people and keeping myself active and sane.

i got a new job; almost lost it; somehow revived it better than ever; failed my driving test; somehow only have to wait two months for my next attempt, as opposed to literally six months like last time.

i want to feel. i want to let my emotions out. i want to be free of this pit. holy hell i didn't know just how much deep feeling i'd been covering up this whole time.

how did i ignore this.

this sucks.