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DrCrafty — Tandy Computer Whiz Kids- The Computer Trap
#linkara #thatguywiththeglasses #atopthefourthwall #channelawesome
Published: 2015-08-08 05:33:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 3305; Favourites: 84; Downloads: 21
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Memorable quotes from episode 358:
Linkara: "In the meantime, we cut over to the Metro City Elementary School, where we meet with the Children of the Damned and their cult ringleader, Ms. Wilson."
Ms. Wilson: "All right, class! Let's take our seats now... we've got a busy day ahead of us!"
Linkara: "I bet, they've got to work extra hard today not doing any actual schoolwork."
Ms. Wilson: "In fact, I've got two terrific surprises in store for you!"
Linkara (as student): "Are we finally getting the school lunch program back?"
Linkara (as Ms. Wilson): "No, silly. How would we ever be able to afford this really important disk drive if we did that?"
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Shanna: "Just press the F1 key, then the password prompt appears on the screen. A password can't have more than 8 letters."
Linkara: "Yeah, you wouldn't want people breaking in and stealing your math homework off of this thing. I kid, of course. These kids never do any math homework."
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Linkara: "Back over to the school, Judy Baker has arrived."
Ms. Wilson: "Children, if you can bear to tear yourselves away from the computers for a moment--"
Linkara (as Ms. Wilson): "I mean, it's just so exciting to type letters into a word processor. I wouldn't want you kids getting an aneurysm from this stuff."
Judy: "Good morning, everyone! Well, I see you've already got one of a reporter's most important tools on hand!"
Linkara (as Judy): "A connection to Superman!"
Alec: "Huh?! You mean a pencil and paper, Ms. Baker?"
Judy: "Ha ha! Maybe that would have been the answer a few years back!"
Linkara: "Actually, reporters even today still use pencils and paper, because sometimes, it's honestly faster to scribble it out than to have your autocorrect keep changing "Obama" to "Brahma". But no, she of course has her little portable TRS-80 model 100 computer and acoustic couplers for connecting to a phone line and transmitting the information to her editors."
Judy: "Why, with this model 100, I can record my notes, gain access to research materials, keep my appointment book..."
Linkara (as student): "Say, doesn't IBM have something like this?"
Linkara (as Judy): *gasps* "Who told you about them?!"
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Narrator: "Together, Ms. Wilson's class enters the shining museum-- to be greeted by a sight that is more wonderful than any of them could imagine..."
Linkara (as a student): "Wow, it's actually a better school than ours!"
Linkara: "They meet Mr. Donald Anderson, the president of the United Industrial Electric Company, who has nothing better to do that day but be a tour guide to a bunch of sixth-graders."
Alec: "Hot dog! I've heard of Mr. Anderson, Shanna! His company is one of the best in the country!"
Linkara (as Alec): "He embezzles way less than other companies!"
Shanna: "This should be exciting!"
Mike Nelson: "No, it isn't."
Mr. Anderson: "Ms. Wilson tells me you are already familiar with computers... but how many of you realize just how common computer use has become in this day and age?"
Linkara (as Mr. Anderson): "Every day, people are discovering new and exciting forms of porn on their computers!"
Mr. Anderson: "Without knowing it, we use computers every day!"
Linkara: *looking down and texting on his cell phone* "Eh, I'm sure you're just exaggerating. For this comic, it was apparently decided to include all that computer history that we would normally shove into the back of the comic into the story itself. And frankly, with my experience there, it's best if we just skipped it. Blah, blah, integrated circuits, yadda yadda, giant Tandy computer– There– Wait, what? Yeah, apparently, in this museum, they made sure to build a giant TRS-80 model 4 that people can step on."
Mr. Anderson: "That's to help show how it works."
Linkara (as Mr. Anderson): "People in this city have really bad eyesight."
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Linkara: "The police have already arrived, thanks to another anonymous tip that it was going to come down here. The terrorists have already put forth a five-million-dollar ransom as Detective Shaw arrives to take charge."
Policeman: "Okay, Detective Shaw! My men have got the museum sealed off! The only way out is through the front doors..."
Linkara (as policeman): "The identities of the terrorists are still unknown, but we suspect Vigo the Carpathian. The museum thing is kind of his M.O."
Linkara: "This is actually pretty tense, exciting stuff. So, naturally, here are the Whiz Kids to whiz all over it. Alec and Shanna are hanging around Judy Baker instead of, you know, being brought back to the school or having their parents called TO GET THEM FROM AWAY FROM THE PLACE WITH ALL THE GUNS!! But yeah, they want to see how a real reporter handles stuff, but when Det. Shaw asks for any witnesses to the initial attack of the gunmen, Alec steps forward, providing a clue that he noticed about how the lead terrorist had a snake tattoo that he spotted briefly."
Shaw: "Great, son! That's just what I was looking for! Come with me, and I'll show you how we're going to use your clue!"
Linkara (as Shaw): "I figured educating you is more important than trying to get as many salient details as possible or ask for any more witnesses who may have seen something you didn't."
Linkara: "But no, since this is about computers, of course, he shows Alec their mobile communications post, which will allow them to access their criminal databases, and see if they can identify the lead terrorist. And sure enough, their Google foo serves them well as they identify him as Max Fuzzi. That's not a terrorist name, that's a teddy bear version of a Miami Vice character."
Mobile communicator: "--currently employed by a foreign government to create havoc in the world's democracies!"
Linkara (as communicator): "He's so infamous that we're not even going to say what foreign government he works for, or explain how a hostage situation involving a single industrial will wreak havoc with democracy!"
Linkara: "I mean, wow, comic! You reached a new low of stupid with that. Why the hell couldn't he just be a notorious domestic terrorist? You had to make it about the Commies without even having the balls to say "Russia" or something? But whatever. Since Fuzzi-Wuzzi is an expert in high explosives, they think they've got their man, confirmed when they patch a line through to the guy, and he demands the five-million-dollar ransom by 9PM, about six hours from then."
Fuzzi: *over phone* "In that case, our hostage will be shot and we will detonate a powerful bomb hidden in the museum and destroy it!"
Shaw: "WHAT?!?"
Linkara (as Shaw): *pretending to hold up a phone* "I'm sorry, but could you repeat that? You keep cutting in and out!" *pulls "phone" away and shakes it in frustration* "Damn cheap, stupid Tandy crap!"
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Shaw: "If the man dies, Fuzzi, you've lost your bargaining power! Please... let me send in the medics!"
Linkara: "Yeah, it'd be a real shame if he didn't have another hostage on hand—" *leans toward the camera* "OH, WAIT!"
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Shanna: "We wanted to help fight terrorism, Detective Shaw!"
Linkara: *puts down the comic before leaning his head over the back of the couch, blinking in disbelief over what he just read* "...That was a thing just said by the Tandy Computer Whiz Kids in a comic promoting RadioShack! As paramedics take Mr. Anderson to the hospital, Alec and Shanna realize something."
Shanna: "Do you know what this means, Alec?"
Alec: "Yeah! It means we'll get a medal!"
Linkara (as Alec): "I'm gonna need a new rack for all the ones I've collected so far."
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I declare false advertising! This title card makes the Tandy Computer Whiz Kids look significantly more badass than they actually are.
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Please tell me that this is a upcoming episode, because his Tandy Computer Whiz Kids reviews are always a favorite of mine!
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I don't know what happens in this issue but I'm eager to find out.
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ALEC: So I pulled out my gun and said "hey that's my tandy, wanna feel it?"
LINKARA: ... My reviews of you guys get more and more one sided.
SHANA: Aggity ziggity west side foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr!
LINKARA: Ugh, somehow you sound just SLIGHTLY less humane then normal.
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Linkara got another lead that might help him track down Vice. Unfortunately, investigating it requires working with the Tandy Computer Whiz Kids. It's gonna take all of Linkara's willpower for this one. Not because of any hallucinations or fear-manipulation, mind you. Linkara just needs to avoid making any brainwashing jokes about the duo he's supposed to work with. One wrong move, and the whole thing could fall apart.
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Yippie-skippy! Another round with the those two brainwashed kids!
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Thanks for the Looney Tunes: Back in Action reference--nice to know someone else saw it
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Funny, you beat me to the comment. It seems there are a few of us who remembers Looney Tunes meets The Mummy.
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Based on the Title, I'da wung a parent trap reference... Not sure how I'd do it, admittedly. XD
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