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DualEdgedMind — If My Heart Could Scream...
Published: 2009-05-01 02:56:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 114; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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If my heart could scream,what would it sounds like?
Would it sound like my own voice?
Or would it be mute?
Would it be the blood curling cry I expect?
Or would it be the bone chilling whisper I fear?
What would my heart scream?
That it longs to stop beating?
Maybe it would shout a shrill "Stop that!"
Every time I made a mark
If my heart could scream,
would I still make a sound?
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Comments: 28
You illustrate the connection with the heart and mind in such a creative and fluent way. The repeated use of the word "would," makes for some questions that thought-provoking and the sense of empathy between the speaker and reader is strong.
The whole thing is a strong and mysterious enigma that many people could relate to. Awesome work on this.
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Thanks, much appreciated!!!
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No problem. Glad to help.
This work makes ya think. The link between the heart and the actual person...it's thought-provoking.
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That was the point, I was thinking of how if you were to stop thinking about what you feel with your heart and let it speak for itself, what would it actually say or even sound like... very pleased that someone understood that and enjoyed it!
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Well, it takes a lot of skill to write something with deeper meaning. But you make many valid points with each line, making for a better poem.
It was an excellent read.
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Thanks!!! Question for you: compared to my other works ( if they have been viewed) what style/ topic do you believe works best as a thought provoking poem?
I need to submit something for credit and would like it to be meaningful.
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I read a few of your other works, and I'd have to that this poem really stands as a thought-provoking one. "If My Heart Could Scream..." has that moment of confusion, something that many people have to face.
It's a poem that relates to the reader easily. It did for me.
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Thanks for the feedback!!! much appreciated!!! one other question if you don't mind.... I like to get critiqued... on the two poems that can be read a few different ways, is it understandable?
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Oh yeah. You have a strong voice and versatile word choice, always adding that vague and adaptive quality. Understanding the poem is easy to do; it's going deeper that takes some effort.
Either way, though, the deeper meaning works and is understandable. You are a great writer with plenty of adaptive skills.
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Much appreciated!!!! Now that I finished adding new stuff I must browse through yours... lol
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Aww, thanks. I only have one poem up, but I'll have more up in the coming times.
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Do so!!! I loved that one you have up!!!
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Thanks. I try my best to make my poetry deep, though accessible.
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Very well thought out and visual in the mind
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I love poetry. I read a lot of poetry from Poe. He's a poetic hero.
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Poe is amazing, but I think Lord Byron and Sylvia Plath are definitely just as good, especially her poem "Tulips".... her son actually committed suicide about 3 weeks ago... seems to be a family trait...
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I read about a lot of British poets in school, but I like American poets too. I need to read more works from the British poets, aside from Shakespeare. I liked Macbeth, but a lot of Shakespeare's works were borrowed from historical events.
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A lot were, and Macbeth is great with the whole King James hidden meaning, but I found A Midsummer Night's Dream to be really good with the play of Pyramis and Thisby in it actually being a famous play from Greece at the time it was written.
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I admit, A Midsummer Night's Dream had a lot going for it.
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It did... Have you tried William Blake, or William Wordsworth? They are both really good British poets
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I recall learning about Blake, but I don't recall Wordsworth. I should check out some of his works.
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Wordsworth is considered a romantic poet, generally he writes a lot about nature too in terms of being against industrial times
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Those Romantic poets really do possess serious skills when it comes to poetry. I learned about Transcendentalists and Anti-Transcendentalists. I like the Anti-Transcendentalists more like Poe and Hawthorne, but the Transcendentalists like Emerson and Thoreau had some great writings too.
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Definitely... I just can't get enough of poetry. Oh!!! A rreally good song to write to is Metamorphasis 2 I forgot who it's by but it's a classical song and it's amazing, if you are a Twilight nerd then this is what Bella's lullaby should have been, if not then disregard what I just said... lol
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Poetry lets me get quick ideas on paper. I write poetry when I have an idea and an instinctual feeling to write something fast.
I save a lot of my more grandiose ideas for short stories or novel-length works.
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Awesome!!! You should publish prologues on here or chapters
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Well, some of these I'd rather save to be published. Some of my poetry is pretty spontaneous, and some of my short stories are pretty concise, so I'm considering putting some of that up on DA.
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Nice, I look forward to seeing it!!
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