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ELBlove7 — The Psychotic Rants of a Madman
by-nc-nd
Published: 2010-06-06 17:28:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 316; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 4
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Description
I still feel your presenceHere at my side,
And it's made me go crazy,
Like that DAMNED Dr. Jekl and Mr. Hyde.
You see, I hated you
When you were still here,
And now your ghost haunts me,
Filling me with anger and fear...
I've killed my WHOLE family
And YET I have have had no time to mourn.
I have had no time to REST
Though my body is worn.
For, even when my anger
Is hidden away,
I know that you'll come,
And then you will say:
"You're a goooood pal.
You're my beeeeest friend.
You and I will be together forEVER,
Best friends till the eeeeend.
Why didn't you ever leave?
I TOLD YOU TO GO!
...but you said we were friends,
You WOULDN'T leave. No.
And there you sat with that hideous smile
Showing me all your sick taxadermy pets,
Making them laugh and talk and dance
Like some twisted little jest.
And so it itched, it burned, it scratched
DEEP inside my brain
Until it maaaade meeee gooo
Tooootally insaaane.
I hated you so much
That I BURNED you alive...
Then I took your ashes
And went for a little drive.
I scattered your ashes in a river
And watched them wash away,
But that was the first time you haunted me,
Oooh yes, that VERY same day.
I killed and I killed
To get you away!
I squashed life like a bug!
...and now all I feel
Is the straight jacket hug.
These paddles walls run red
And I hear your crazy little chant,
But I have nothing to kill you,
So I just rave and I rant.
I have nothing to kill with,
Not even to kill me.
I SCREAM and I CRY,
But I'll NEVER be free.
WHY have you locked me
In such misery?
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Comments: 7
Dark and deranged poems are my favorite poems.
Definitely hit that spot.
I LOVED this.
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In some bizarre way I love it. It's beautiful in its own grim way.
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I really liked the tenth stanza in particular, on the fourth stanza second line I think you repeated the word "have" and it is supposed
to be "have had" instead. I thought that the ending was powerful, I found out though how in this poem when you talk about insanity
and killing it is much more disturbing and dark to tell how someone has fallen from grace and the transformation it has on the persons
psyche. Rather than just saying "I killed a couple of people" its not as disturbing. Keep it up though your good, I know how hard it can
be to write story poems in fixed form barely anyone does it on dA.
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Oh! Yes you're right. See, when I was writing the poem, I was originally going to put the character in the position of being in the middle of his crazed killing spree, so making it "have" would have fit with that. Later though I changed my mind and decided to place his current position in a mental institution, but I forgot to look through and change any details that might not fit with that (or at least missed that particular one). After reading that too I got to thinking about the fact that I included only minimum punctuation and I thought about the fact that things can sometimes change meaning depending on where the punctuation is, so I think I'm going to amend that now as well. I'm also going to see if there are places where I can make use of caps lock to emphasize words here and there, because I noticed that the way it is someone might not hear the voice come through as dramatically as it should. I'm thinking about adding to the story somehow as well, but I haven't quite decided how yet. Well, when I finish it I'll make sure that I send out a notification so you can see the end results.
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amazing
its almost like you can see whats really going on 
one of the bes i have ever read
about insanity that is
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Wow, thank you. That's really flattering.
I really like the quote you have for your signature by the way. It's so true, yet people misjudge things all the time because they don't think of that.
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