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"Such welcome and unwelcome things at once/'Tis hard to reconcile."-MacDuff
Author's Note: I realize that I never actually say who "she" is. It should be readily apparent, but in case it isn't, it's Liz Stoddard.

He wasn't dead. She hadn't killed him. A flurry of emotions rushed over her.

Relief came first; the heavy burden she had carried for so many years was lifted from her shoulders. There was no more need for the fear of discovery, or for the dreadful secrecy that had kept her isolated for almost two decades.

Then came anger. She was furious at Jason, of course. He had lied to her; he had left her to suffer for eighteen years, and he had come back only to exploit her further. And she had let him. That was the most unbearable part. She had placed her trust in him. She had chosen to rely on him. And she could have stopped him at anytime, had she been strong enough. She shouldn't have waited for so long. If she had confessed eighteen years ago-

That's when the full implications of the situation hit her. Eighteen years. Gone. Wasted-well, not wasted. She had seen her daughter grow and thrive and flourish. That was anything but a waste. But still, how much more full and rich her life could have been! She could have gone to plays, attended concerts and charity events; she could have played with Carolyn at the beach. She had imprisoned herself in her own house for no reason.

But that was over. True, those years were gone-irretrievably gone- but Jason's blackmail had ultimately, ironically, lead to her freedom. Had he not pushed her to her limits she would have continued to punish herself for the rest of her days. Now she had options. Now she had opportunities. Now she had possibilities. She could, she supposed, be grateful for that.

Description

"Such welcome and unwelcome things at once/'Tis hard to reconcile."-MacDuff
Author's Note: I realize that I never actually say who "she" is. It should be readily apparent, but in case it isn't, it's Liz Stoddard.

He wasn't dead. She hadn't killed him. A flurry of emotions rushed over her.

Relief came first; the heavy burden she had carried for so many years was lifted from her shoulders. There was no more need for the fear of discovery, or for the dreadful secrecy that had kept her isolated for almost two decades.

Then came anger. She was furious at Jason, of course. He had lied to her; he had left her to suffer for eighteen years, and he had come back only to exploit her further. And she had let him. That was the most unbearable part. She had placed her trust in him. She had chosen to rely on him. And she could have stopped him at anytime, had she been strong enough. She shouldn't have waited for so long. If she had confessed eighteen years ago-

That's when the full implications of the situation hit her. Eighteen years. Gone. Wasted-well, not wasted. She had seen her daughter grow and thrive and flourish. That was anything but a waste. But still, how much more full and rich her life could have been! She could have gone to plays, attended concerts and charity events; she could have played with Carolyn at the beach. She had imprisoned herself in her own house for no reason.

But that was over. True, those years were gone-irretrievably gone- but Jason's blackmail had ultimately, ironically, lead to her freedom. Had he not pushed her to her limits she would have continued to punish herself for the rest of her days. Now she had options. Now she had opportunities. Now she had possibilities. She could, she supposed, be grateful for that.