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Erynnia — Last Sanctuary
#building #contest #critique #helpme #japanese #last #sanctuary #style
Published: 2016-12-04 22:38:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 819; Favourites: 103; Downloads: 0
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Patreon StumbleUpon YouTube Tumblr Pinterest Twitter Instagram [NEW] Facebook [NEW]Yay, improvement!!! I took to making an environment piece for a critique contest I'm entering. The theme was "Last Sanctuary." Please give me as much feedback as you can on how I can improve this piece.
Art (c) 2016 Erynnia
Tablet: Wacom
Software: Sketchbook Pro
Date: December 4, 2016
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Comments: 64
The pinks provide a nice color accent that really makes this place comes to life!
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Beautiful! 😍 I love the atmosphere that you created here! 😁
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Oh my gosh, this is really beautiful!!!!!!!!! And the cherry trees really add to it too, the idea of renewal really connects to last sanctuary.
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That's lovely.
As for feedback, it depends. If you're going for realism, the background and parts of the building could use more detailed textures; if you're going for a more stylized look, you probably have too much texture in the rock spire that's the foundation for the sanctuary.
I love the design of the doors.
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Thank you very much for the feedback, I'm glad you like it!
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stunning artwork - I love how you highlighted the sanctuary with the lighting
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I really like this piece but the doors are rather awkward to me. The color seems to be too dark and too saturated to fit in with the rest of the building and show a lot of sharp detail from what appears to be far away. You also outlined it in black rather than a different shade of the base color which makes it stand out too much. You probably spent a lot of time on it and the detail and hark work definitely paid off but this feature happens to be very distracting to me.
If you still have the file you can change this up by coloring in the black with a pale and light gold color. I think that'll make it fit in a lot better.
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Thank you for the feedback!
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This is a really pretty scene and I love the colors! I especially like how you painted the rocks and the cherry trees.
It looks like you have some great feedback already so I'll just mention what stands out the most to me for critique. The ornate door looks really cool, but the detail is a lot sharper and stronger compared to the railing in front of it and the greenery on the tiers above it. As a result I think the doorway becomes too strong of a focal point. Going over the door with a bit of blur, or reducing the light/dark contrast there, or removing some of the detail would probably help (alternatively you could tighten up and add more detail to the railings and plants but that would tack on a lot more work).
Hope that helps and good luck with the contest!
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Thank you very much for the help!
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I really like this piece, it looks like you've taken a lot of time to create beautifully harmonious colors and a sense of sanctuary here. As you've requested in your description, I do have some nitty-gritty feedback which I hope is helpful:
Mute the tones of the farthest mountains a little more to create depth. Create a foggy layer in between the far mountains and the nearer ones to create more pockets of space as well. The way you have the lighting on the center of the picture seems to create the illusion or expectation of a sunburst or cloudburst, and you could amplify this effect by having more clouds around the periphery with an opening on the top or an actual (very subtle) sunburst coming down.
I really like how you have the shadow of the pagoda cast on the mountain, but that mountain appears to be a lot farther back – far enough to be “immune” to the shadow's reach. It might have other shadows, but probably not from that building. However, when I first looked at it, it appeared to be the silhouette of another building, and I dig the possibility of a cluster of towers somewhere in the distance but only seen in silhouette.
The mountain peak acting as a capstone to the roof is a cool effect, but feels out of place. First, it does not match the type of mountains portrayed in the rest of the picture. Kind of like having a Victorian mansion in the Southwest desert. It is Asian-looking, but feels more Japanese whereas the rest of this gives me a Chinese feel, especially with the type of pagoda and the type of mountains and ink wash techniques. Secondly, the mountain cap looks a little like soft-serve ice cream, and needs more modeling and crags, etc. on the left-hand side to make it more corporeal.
The roof appears to be thatched, which is probably owing to the modeling around the edges and texturing. One wouldn't expect this type of roof with the type of eaves you've got there – it would be glazed clay tile. Try to sketch in the cylindrical interlocking tiles you'd see on this type of building (unless thatch is what you're going for, of course!)The rooftop reservoirs from which water is spilling are very bowed at the bottom and make it look like they can't handle the weight of the water. Straight lines will fix this. Because the viewer is approaching this right on instead of at an angle, except for looking upward, the curvature seems off.
The bottom level of the tower is unadorned altogether, and the absence of decoration is missed here I think. It actually makes it appear that this bottom layer is not substantial enough to hold the masonry crowning it (especially if there's a mountain resting above it all). Try to put windows or some sort of articulation to break up the space there. The woodwork or railing you've got surrounding this layer is also uneven on either side of the doors.
I really like how you've done the bridge, though it would probably fade in color as it nears the sanctuary. Or you could add some shading over it where clouds might be hovering.
The cherry trees are a very nice feature, but could use a little work in the following ways: the tree on the center turret is next to what appear to be full-sized pine trees, but the cherry tree is huge in comparison. Scaling down the cherry tree or increasing the size of the pines will help reconcile this. This is the same for the tree above it on the upper level, it feels disproportionately large. The trees clinging to the side of the rock face give the impression that they have prehensile roots like hands. If they are deeply entrenched in the cliff side, you probably wouldn't see that much of their roots as they would be covered by the rocks. The roots also need some sort of fissure around the roots to show that they've broken through the mountainside and are deeply embedded in it. (Also, cherry trees at high altitudes grow more like a shrub than a tree, so they'd be squatty low-lying / sprawling things.)
Lastly, the doors are massive and so is the bridge, if their scale is up next to the trees. The bridge should probably taper in a bit more as it comes to the entryway. The door itself, being so large by contrast to everything else in the building, makes the rest of the building look small. Reducing its size even by a third or in half will create a monumental building that can carry three layers of masonry. It's also a very unusual shape for pagoda doors – you'd see arched ones and rectangular ones usually, but not lozenge-shaped.Totally up to you and since it's your creation, do whatever you want.
Again, I do hope this is helpful! It's a gorgeous piece already, and could really sing with a few adjustments. Cheers!
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Wow, thank you so much for the great feedback, you mentioned a ton of helpful things to fix this piece, I am much obliged. The little "pine trees" aren't actually pine trees, they were meant to be bushes, but I guess to make it clearer as to what they are, I should make them more round-like. Thanks again for the critique!
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Honestly, I'm daunted... I don't want to pick this apart!
Ah, hiyas! I found your art through ProjectComment ~
I really don't want to look too closely for mistakes on this; it's so beautiful! The colours, the atmosphere, the set-up and design... It's breath-taking, seriously!
I'll just start with the colours. You chose wonderful colours, and contrast is splendid; the temple is clearly the centerpiece, and the cherry trees both frame and accent it perfectly. I just noticed this, but the idea of the cherry trees blooming only in the sunlight is awesome; I really like it.
And speaking of sunlight... The glow is really pretty; it gives the picture a feeling of "It's almost night; we arrived just in time and we're safe now." The only thing is, the shadow cast by the temple because of the sunlight, it's too clear; at the distance it seems to be from the temple itself, it would be a lot more blurred.
The elements of this picture are remarkably well put-together, by the way; the bridge leading to safety, the peace of the 'gardens' on the roof-terraces, the gentle architecture: everything comes together for a welcoming atmosphere. I feel like there should be some designs on the ground floor walls, too, and the railings feel a little too orange, but other than those, there's only one major thing that stands out to me. The roots of the trees stand out too clearly against the rocks; it looks like they were plucked out of the ground somewhere else and plopped down on the rock columns. I would either blur them a little, or add some grass or weeds, something to show that there is soil, or at least cracks filled with soil, to support the trees.
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Thank you very much for your comment!
I will definitely add some soil to the tree's roots, I didn't really think about that until you pointed it out, and also with the temple's shadow as well. I'm glad you like the piece overall!
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Oh, absolutely! You did an amazing job! ^w^
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This most certainly seems like a place one would go for solitude and safety... You did a wonderful job, dear.
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Thank you! 
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It looks amazing! I love the detail, and how the colors seem to blend together, and how soft the light it, and how that makes it look soft. Like early in the morning, or late at night. You did a great job
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Thank you so much, I'm really glad you like it!
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Indeed, it does have a similar style! :)
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