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eva-st-clare β Starless
Published: 2008-09-06 01:48:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 1719; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 35
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Description
I don't have anything to say, because I feel sad for Irene. er I can't think of anything interesting to say
I still dont know how to color like other people do, so um, it probably looks like scrap... since I drew it totally on cpu... um, sorry if it looks bad. I just wanted to do something that was light on dark. ...I guess if I ever feel like it I can always go back in to change it, it has about 5 layers >_<
Hm, I realized... I'm probably a little like her character-- in a certain sense--
Must be why she's my (co-)favorite, even with her great character flaws of turning tail, hiding from shame and endlessly nursing old wounds
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Comments: 45
oooo. the way shes just sort of highlighted is really beautiful! & I lovelove the background. Its quite excellent!
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That's so cool! 
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Your coloring abilities are fine, in fact, I'm envious of them, must leech out coloring talent though a straw.
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Cool contrast! The background textures are awesome too, looks like a real painting.
And Irene could use a hug. D:
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yeah.. she needs like 800000 hugs... (i'm ready to hand out hugs, lol, i need some too)
yeah it ended up looking like a fast oil painting O_o
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Wow, that's a lot of hugs! I'd like some too.
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Wow, dark! I almost expected a little bit of color somewhere, but still very nice.
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yeah, there's very little color as I wanted it to look like a very deep night was falling... the only color really is in the tiny bit of sunset on mountains, and the gold reflected in her eyes.
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(Curse me for forgetting the li'l bit in the BG, LOL.)
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Don't ever say your work looks like scraps! You have wonderfully unique style that sets you apart, your use of color and strokes makes your artwork come to life, and makes them very dramatic^^
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ehehe I get in this mood where I think I'm not good at doing things because my drawings don't look like the popular sort of art.
then I remember I'm talking about deviant art, and well you know...
people seem to like really shiny anime type stuff and I'm crappy at drawing anime style or making things all 3d and shiny >_< So most things I draw end up described as 'sketchy'...
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How many seas died
to soothe your pain
Making your skin
white salt
and aquamarines your eyes
I know what it means
to fall asleep
in an ocean of tears
And I hope no more seas
will ever die
(c) Francesca Nicoli [link]
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man you really know how to snag me with poetry TT_TT
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and then:
Pero ΒΏ
Como a ti, Filis, te quiero;
que en lo que mereces, Γ©ste
es solo encarecimiento.
Ser mujer, ni estar ausente,
no es de amarte impedimento;
pues sabes tΓΊ que las almas
distancia ignoran y sexo.
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Hey I looked her up, and I feel sad that I don't know if I've read about her before, becuase she is AWESOME.
and apparently one of the festivals in her name takes place in my town...
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un, she is AWESOME
she must be taught at schools XD
well, at least I hope that at this festival her poetry is recited by enlighted maidens in front of a crowd so brimming with gayness that a rainbow shines all over the place XD
(umm... well... there'is a lot of interesting stuff hidden and unknown.... uhh... now i'm looking in my bookmarks for the links on medieval lesbian nun letters, omg i remember saving them some monthes ago but i can't find them nao 
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oahh... if you find those link me, XD XD I used to want to be a nun when i was younger, because it meant I wouldn't have to marry a man. So... I often wonder if that was at least part of the reason some women went to convent rather than marry and bear 18 children without respite
(I also thought it was a law or something that you HAD to get married at a certain age, so that was the only way I thought I could get out of it? lol, I wasn't Catholic either nor a Christian, I just liked nuns)
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haaah... lol XD I've always wanted to be a Delphian Oracle, hehe being revered for talking into mad hexameter stanzas ahaha I even don't need to trip on anything - I have migraines ahahaha
still cant find the links tho
hehe, nuns are LOVE (ecstatic nuns are DOUBLE LOVE)
well, I've been interested in monastic institutes for a loong time.... hmm... the basic point is that... well...we can't find any truly matriarchal society in the history of teh humanses, we can only find some women changing their status and gaining power by the means of religion. All societies of ancient civilizations were more or less patriarchal, but nearly every religion did provide some resort for genderly or mentally deviant ppl: you could escape your fate by serving/dedicating yourself to gods/goddeses etc (well, there was another way: to become a 'dangerous' outcast, a witch, a healer, a sage etc)
so monasteries was the best christianity could give for a woman. Well, it wasn't bad cos many monasteries were quite independent and had highly socialistic society models (well, especiallymodelled after franciscans, mind Catherine of Siena etc)
omg, must stop, whya m I writing all this, you probably know much more orz
anyway...
I've been thinking on a novel bout fiery love of a nun and a witch in 16th century...but omg i still have to read so many things to provide accurate historical settings.. orz
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i know a little about that stuff, not expert at all tho. 
plus with nuns you get to be surrounded by other strange women who can't hack it in str8 public society XD
Mmmm nun x witch 
it's all fascinating anyway, and i know very few ppl who can talk like this
I don't need drugs to trip out. I already have enough night hallucinations and weird visions as it is.
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un un
well, I like reading bout history, religions and gender issues... and when these interests unite... hehehe
hmm, I've already thought out some major plot lines and gathered some historical materials...uhhh I want it to be srs and dramatical...gah...I've become too trashy lately... Ive seen/read too much nasty things bout this world...It's hard to look at it as it is, so I make it trashy ant laugh at it...tho nevertheless I try to enjoy every moment of life I get...but duh....even my jokes has become too quirky...I can't discern bon ton and mauvais ton...tho well saying nasty things was my "noli me tangere"/a mean to ward off ppl for a long time, but as a result I ward away ppl I want to stay ahaha
I ranted, orz sorry
well, visions, night hallucinations... *hug*
i've head some nasty things twoweeks ago and got into an anxious state...uhh...coudn't sleep, had visions of horrible monsters and pictures of carnage...still kinda lingers, i'm almost fainting from sleep deprivation...
orz
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ah.. same interest, lol. My entertainment is either completely over the top fantasy, or nonfiction with very little exception. I don't much prefer anything inbtw the two, it often makes me uneasy because i'm a strange person.
this week I ...'hallucinated' writing on my walls that I was sure at the time was trying to give me a message, but I couldn't remember the words... i was watching the writing appear. things usually appear on my wall. :/ I haven't slept well this week, obviously. LOL
(I had forgotten but a week or so ago I dreamed I went on a school trip to europe that was a month long, and we were in Amsterdam, i ended up walking around by myself cos no one would hang out with me and I had the thought I wanted to log on DA and msg you that I was in the Netherlands. ?? I always feel really lame when internets or people from the internets come up in my dreams, hahaha.)
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hehe
ohhh...:sad: 
hhah...my nights when i get anxious are...hehe... well, I've got horrible eyeside (-8/-9, without lenses/glasses my world is an impressionist painting) and can't sleep in lenses, and my ears become too keen - I can hear larvaeof bugs/mothes gnawing on their foodz...sooo...omg I feel pathetic, Im not afraid of death and pain, and I can't sleep because of unreasonable fears and visions induced by reading about atrocities, murders, women and children abuse, destroying of nature and cultural heritage and all the ugly things humanses do, and I can't stop reading them... hhah stupid masochism....
Oh my.....
Tho since my country is not an EU member, it'd take 3 months to make a visa, and anyway I'm applicable to the recent law that all recently graduated won't be able to get any visa for the next two years (hehe emmigration prevention)... LOL gah.... soooo I'd had to cross the borders secretly at night ahahahaha, and, well, since here ppl associate 'Netherlands' not with Bosch and Breigel, Dijkstra and Tanenbaum, but with legalized drugs&
(well there you can buy replicas of rings excavated from archeological sites of Baltic, Slavic and Finnic tribes that inhabited this region and other symbolic jewelry ahh ahh [link] [link] [link] )
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ohhh... I'd much rather have a wedding ring like that, I so hate the rings people have with gold and stupid diamonds in them... ugh so ugly >_< I'd love to have simple matching rings with someone if I were committed/married/whatever... and well... i'd like to be committed long term to someone at some point 
do you need visas to travel or just if you move?
sounds like it's a ... conservative country XD I don't much care for drugs or anything like that but I'd rather live in a place like Amsterdam is (I'm told), where people are just free to do what they want long as it doesn't hurt anyone... Here, I don't know... I'm so disgusted with the fundamentalist christians that think they run this country and want to shove everyone out who doesn't love their idea of Jesus.
They tried to pass an amendment to the state's Constitution (of Texas state) to forbid marriage between non-hetero's. Because apparently they are scared if gays can marry and live amongst them without being ostracised and lynched, their children might grow up thinking there is nothing horribly wrong with teh ebil gays. ZOMG!
in fact the city I live in is known as pretty much the only socially 'liberal' city/county in this entire state, the rest of it is oil barons, cowboys and assorted rednecks/bigots XD Ask me again why i live here...? Austin is nice, though... youll often see many odd people, and there is a large gay population.
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un un, usual jewelry usually suuucks gah...tho I kinda dislike the institution of 'marriage', I like the ring exchange symbolism, and there are some rly nice ethno/hystorical jewelry companies in europe, and I also like some gemstones, especially iridiscent ones, well like opals and ammolites(duh! [link] [link] )... uhhh... I'd like to be commited long term too
ahhh...
well I need visas for any foreign visit or travel, I can go freely only to russia and Ukraine, gah
well, the place I live in, belarus (historically litva), is hehe quite surreal. Ppls minds usually contain soviet morals and/or agressively expanding moscow patriarchy ortodox christianity rhetorics... so...hehehe...
well, this country is in the USA's 'tyranny outposts' list, first place for corruption, bureucracy and suicides, president is a mad bastard who constantly licks muscovite's top's asses, the 2 mln capital - the city I live in, is a gray monster - was completely destroyed by the soviet army in the WWII (haha they blamed germans in the textooks ahaha) - and got completely rebuilt without any historical buildings etc hahaha
tho well, at least it's not russia hehehe and living her can teach you a lot about life and human nature and politics....
hehe tho in fact many ppl who can adapt here cal live quite well, most ppls are content
but for me its just an ugly cage
tho I cant help but love it
well...blood is thick...
but I cant do anything...hhah...
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I'm not much concerned with the societal idea of marriage, or with the legal stuff, it is all patriarchal/hetero BS that was just done for money and convenience, but I'd like to trade rings and have commitment-- if that means marriage, i dunno... I'd consider it a spiritual marriage, since the other form of marriage means nothing to me.
I was bored today at work so I was looking up a map of the Baltic region-- er other than you I know someone in Estonia so I'm curious to update my knowledge of the region-- and I read some about the history of Belarus, and the capital and the region in general. so i read about the crazy president and the US' idea of the country LOL
from looking at it though, there seem to be some really pretty cathedrals and such, and the pictures of Minsk at least looked interesting...w ith all the various cultures it is bound to be an interesting place eh?
I see what you mean now about bogs, it said that much of the area is marshland. XD I always forget how close that area is to Finland and such.
same with the Balkan countries... i always have to look them up again cos the maps changed since i was little >_<
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Ahhh...spiritual marriage... un un <3 <3
waaahhhh
well, I must warn you that usually all the articles bout belarus contain a loot of false information (well, _evidently false), gah, cos information -> ideology -> power and belarus is a strategical land as a direct way "from russia to europe" hehehe and, well, whatever they say bout freedom pathos etc, most ppl are content, old ppl grew in harsch after war times, midage ppl grew in ussr stagnation times, so, well...this life is ok for them.
haha, oh, the problem is that, well, you can shoot anything to look interesting... I... I tried to love this city, but, well...It is always grey.. Grey, always dirty from that greyness... Murky, with either depressed or drunk people...With Kurapaty [link] on the one side and Loshytsa on the other plus many more minor murder places. This city was first mentiond 1k years ago in connection with a huge massacre. With haughty stalinistic buildings in the center (build by the hands of german captives) and stupid pseudohistorical eyecandies...Hhah...Almost all my friends considered suicide at one time or other, I think it's from living here...I'm not trying to demonize it, but, well, it's reality. There is even almost no good cultural life here.. It's void. Culture is concentrated in old little towns.
Well,in little towns there are interesting cathedrals and castles. But, well, cultural heritage is not being preserved well. On the contrary, many buldings slowly dilapidate into ruins, or even being destroyed to build commercial building on that land, or to build pseudohistorical eyecandies instead of them. It's absolutely surreal, illogical and makes my heart ache. I cant find the reason, why. The only plausible explanation is that moscow rulers, who wish to annex this land again, want to destroy all the cultural distinction, hhah.
The nature suffers too. Ha, everyone's motto is "it's not mine", omg. Near any road forests are filled with litter.
Tho the place where my gran lives and where I spent my summers as a child there [link] was very nice. It's still considered that "the old spirit" is at it's height there. It's in the north, Litva, so the folk culture is highly influenced by baltic sustrate, and 'usual' culture by Polish/Catholic.
Hah, my gran visited both the catholic and the ortodox church ahaha and paganism was still high in her: she filled my room with the smoke of burning thistle when I was afraid at night and was soo superstitious ahaha At least we were not living in the village -in this case she'd take me to some healer fag and I'd be made to eat some dried frogs ahaha
I was there for a couple of days this summer. There are 4 lakes in the town. Now only one of them is clean enough to swim. The small river with crayfishes and pearl oysters I was always hanging at and that was so clean one said you can catch trouts and eels there looked like a sewage stream...
Humanses humanses...
Well, I could be able to close my eyes on what ppl think and what language do they use and many other things...
But too many things make my heart ache here
Too many....
Hehehe...Well.. There are giant bogs in Polesie, in the south. Some historians say there was a sea there once. And the bogs from the north are a start place of a bog area that stretches to Karelia and Finland ahaha
But no matter how close are the plases... this country is closed for the outer world...hehehe
Well...Maps change, states change, nations stay.
orz sorry I wrote too much orz orz
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ah I only read a wikipedia article, to look at the maps and things, so I read only basic history like how it was bombed and rebuilt, and such... I can see what you mean, there seemed to be Stalinist architecture as it was probably rebuilt? Some of the monument type things looked rather modernist, and there was a Lenin statue... it seems interesting to me, maybe only because it is so different lol 
the photos on that site kinda fascinate me-- I'm obsessed with cemeteries so I spent a long time looking at that cemetery and wishing I could be there... for some reason
[link] ahahah lol, this is the city I grew up in. It's awful, the name sounds like a dirty word to me now... everything in that whole region I remember as flat and gray and bland, with bland emotionless people who barely conceal their racism. It's a dead place to me. 
thank you for talking about it, I really like learning about other places and what they'r elike since I've never been overseas (I need to get a passport if I plan to... that takes a few months I think 
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ahh... well, the lack of culture ( at least of culture that I approve) is emm because of the state of minds - many books have been written on so-called "post-soviet" mentality....
hhah...I liek cemeteries too.. Actually there's one more or less old one left in minsk [link] . I liked to walk there , but recently it became occupied by ugly goths (gah, i've been somthing between a goth and a punk in teh teens myself, but some ppl seemingly can't discern betweel what is aesthetic in clothes, makeup and behaviour and what is not >__<
Ehmm do you mean this cathedral [link] or that [link] ? Well, they were both catholic, and if fact they are almost the only two cathedrals build in "sarmatic barocco" style left in belarus. But the latter, bigger and older, was rebuild into an moscow patriarchy orthodox church after the uprisings in the second part of the 19-th century. Actually it was the fate of many catholic and uniatic cathedrals - in russian empire church was an ideological and linguistical tool. "If you want to conquer your enemy - educate his/her children in proper ideology". During the soviet times also many of them were rebuilt again and used as administrative buildings. Almost all ones that are left im minsk are such lifeless shells [link]
More photoes:
[link]
[link]
gah, but still..When I look at what preserved in Vilnia (Vilnius, the old capital of slavobaltic state Grand Duchy of Lithuania (minsk became big only in czarist russia as a strategical town), current capital of Lithuania) ,my heart aches...
[link]
[link]
[link]
no comments...
tho now lithuanians have built completely different nation with compltly different national mythoi, pity, duh, hah so many years of isolation and russification have made ppl of krivia/litva/belarus forget everything...
Ahh... *hug* Well, I understand what does it mean to live in place one considers dead....hhah
ahem, 
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ehh it doesn't sound strange, you are knowledgeable (to me anyway, because I know nothing about those areas...) and passionate about it, so I really like hearing something new
I save a lot of random architectural images for reference, some of those are so interesting and also very strange to me--- the baroque Orthodox style of churches was always so... different from what I know....
(started having interest in world architecture, architectural basics/terms and interior crafts when I needed to start designing town, buildings and interiors for my story
I think I referred to the Birth of the Virgin church, your second link. That one, and another one on the other page you sent, the interiors of them... are so baroque... I feel like I'm taking acid just looking at them O____o >_< TBH Baroque isn't much my favorite style in anything at all, but I still find something that elaborate to be really amazing on a certain level--
(I prefer Gothic LOL)
The St. Anne's church has a most amazing facade, I could look at it for hours, I saved so many that I could reference later when i'm trying to make up buildings or something
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Sorry... was feeling myself totally shitty those days orz
Well... maybe I'm a bit too passionate, but.. hah... that idiotic situation with the neglection, dilapidation and destruction of historical heritage sites and total inability to do anything about it makes many of those ppl who understand what's happening a bit too fiery... orz
Heh, well baroque orthodox churches are usually rebuilt cathedrals... Sometimes they make me feel cognitive dissonance... Well for ortodox churches I like kinda simple romanesque-like style [link] or classical-Byzantine like [link] [link] with hemispheric domes (gah, many domes were rebuilt to onion domes during czarist russia rule to make them look moscow style....Hahaha in fact muscovites copied onion domes from Kazan' mosques when muscovia and Tartaria were a united state... Hehe russian historians dont like this fact... Hah cos ideologically moscow/russian empire was constructed as a "pinnacle of slavic and orthodox culture" to have a premise to "gather"(= to raep and conquer) nearby slavic and orthodox lands tho in fact most of moscow cultural aspects are neither slavic nor classically orthodox but derive from Asian/Tertarian origins, tho it's not that I dislike them or something, but well... )
Hhah... I prefer gothic too... Pity that the only a few gothic cathedrals of the old Litva remained till now... Gah...
Well, tho first being guided by foreign master architects, the locals did the main job, so the remained gothic cathedrals have quite a special appearance, the same with barocco.
Hhah, I've been to west germany once, early gothic buildings were just amazing....uhhh....
Well, good luck with your story
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Ahh... Sorry orz It's better to snog than to snag
btw, bout poetry...
I've read some of Sor Juana, and it was GODLY. Well, i've heard bout her earlier, but laid my hands on her verses only recently...
omg, a nun who wrote baroque love poems to women, oh my oh my, she ascended to my pantheon in seconds... I've already seen a semibiographical movie bout her life (Yo, la peor de todas) and it was oh so sad
Some stanzas from Puro amor, que ausente...- "Lo atrevido de un pinsel..." were simply breathtaking (even for me reading spanish with dictionaries etc orz):
Yo, pues, mi adorada Filis,
que tu deidad reverencio,
que tu desdΓ©n idolatro
y que tu rigor venero:
bien asΓ, como la simple
amante que, en tornos ciegos,
es despojo de la llama
por tocar el lucimiento;
como el niΓ±o que, inocente,
aplica incauto los dedos
a la cuchilla, engaΓ±ado
del resplandor del acero,
y herida la tierna mano,
aΓΊn sin conocer el yerro,
mΓ‘s que el dolor de la herida
siente apartarse del reo;
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hey i liek to snog too
ooh, it's said, I had to translate it because I somewhat know Spanish but my vocabulary is lacking in some places T_T
that's wonderful must research.....
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"It is only in the night that we can pass for anything close to human. It is only the darkness that hides our eyes, our stops them from catching the light and exposing us for what we are. We are witches...and only in the night does a witch shed her phantom tears from silver eyes ."
I somehow imagine that this picture symbolizes something all Claymores feel, since given the heavy black of the painting, Irene could pass for any normal human walking in the night. But since the eyes can glow golden, I guess even they can't fool themselves forever.
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Omg that's an awesome quote/line
i think it fits very well to what Irene and all other claymore feel
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HOLY CRAP that was beautiful.
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Lol, thanks. Long-winded speeches are my specialty. XD
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eh... is that the little speech Teresa gave in the DVD extra storytime? or...? (never read a translation of it)
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Nah, it's something I spun up. Seemed to fit the moment, and it probably works in an AU fashion. XD
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ah, it's pretty good! XD sounded like an official dramatic claymore speech.
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