hiddentwilight [2010-06-24 18:15:15 +0000 UTC]
I was wondering about you the other day. It's good to see writing from you. Whether or not you post it here, I hope you continue writing.
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mackwrites [2010-06-08 10:35:11 +0000 UTC]
I can see the poignancy to this, but I guess I can't really feel it. The language is beautiful, and I like the style, but I didn't find much to pull me in. I think it was a lack of explicit conflict. The drama of the main character's relationship with the unnamed girl is only compelling if the main character wants a different level of interaction than is being given. For example, if the main character were unhappy that the girl got to be the princess all of the time. Or, the conflict could come from the outside--an adult who disapproves of the handling of dead animals.
The letters might've been dramatic--the main character feels like a violator, the girl has been collecting them--but they were simply buried and I guess the main character was okay enough with that, because they reached for the girl's hand (instead of driving them apart it seems to have driven them closer). And that's fine, I don't want to suggest that they have to be at odds. Like I said, an adult could provide the conflict. I guess I keep coming back to their relationship because the piece is so short and those are the only two characters.
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