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FriedPickles — The Burial
Published: 2010-06-03 23:55:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 841; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 4
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Description Her fingernails had earth underneath them when she laced them through mine, carelessly, like the gesture didn't matter. We were young, so it didn't matter. We took for it granted, but that doesn't matter either. The freckles on her nose marked the changing of the seasons. It would be warmer, and the thin blond hairs on her pale legs would glisten in the sunlight like cornsilk. I never wanted those hairs to go away. They were electric, and her legs moved mechanically and fast, like she had a special part that my brown legs weren't made with.

She took me into the woods where the creek collided with fallen trees and a big clearing. It was the place we ruled. Really she ruled, and I watched. She would pretend to be a princess, and I would pretend to be her.

That day we ate oranges in our favorite spots. The juice ran all down our arms, and we'd play a game trying to see where the oranges stopped and our skin began. I liked to imagine that the line would never exist and that we could just become parts of the things that mattered but faded.

That day was a burial day. She held an old coffee can in her hands, and I peered into it to see what creature we were putting to rest. I didn't see anything. She pulled piles of paper out of it, which I didn't understand, but I had gotten used to her, so I forced myself to be patient.

Normally the contents of these bins and boxes were animal carcasses she rescued from her yard. She felt she owed them respect, so we were there to deliver it. We spent hours sometimes crafting eulogies we felt best honored animate things, despite the fact that we'd never known them. She insisted that as humans we had to have known them. I don't think I understood that.

This box was full of paper, letters that looked like they contained every kind of handwriting.

I've been collecting them for a while now, she said, more to the things themselves than to me. So many different people wrote them. Each page smells different, feels different, full of someone's own perception of a memory meant for one specific person.

That person wasn't us, and I felt like a violator seeing these pieces of private people I didn't know. Something about them made me more nauseous than the dead birds and squirrels.

There was no dead to bury, so we buried the letters alive. The sound of the leaves of paper shuffling against each other followed by the dry click of the coffee can lid were the only words spoken.

I reached for her hand and started to cry.
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Comments: 6

isoldthesunrise [2010-10-09 03:52:37 +0000 UTC]

This is like a portrait of a very beautiful memory.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

hiddentwilight [2010-06-24 18:15:15 +0000 UTC]

I was wondering about you the other day. It's good to see writing from you. Whether or not you post it here, I hope you continue writing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mackwrites [2010-06-08 10:35:11 +0000 UTC]

I can see the poignancy to this, but I guess I can't really feel it. The language is beautiful, and I like the style, but I didn't find much to pull me in. I think it was a lack of explicit conflict. The drama of the main character's relationship with the unnamed girl is only compelling if the main character wants a different level of interaction than is being given. For example, if the main character were unhappy that the girl got to be the princess all of the time. Or, the conflict could come from the outside--an adult who disapproves of the handling of dead animals.

The letters might've been dramatic--the main character feels like a violator, the girl has been collecting them--but they were simply buried and I guess the main character was okay enough with that, because they reached for the girl's hand (instead of driving them apart it seems to have driven them closer). And that's fine, I don't want to suggest that they have to be at odds. Like I said, an adult could provide the conflict. I guess I keep coming back to their relationship because the piece is so short and those are the only two characters.

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Jump-and-Canon [2010-06-04 02:31:32 +0000 UTC]

It's been a while since we've heard from you! I liked this piece.

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Victimize-Pixie [2010-06-04 02:11:44 +0000 UTC]

I find this concept to be lovely and the piece entirely beautiful.

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MinorKey [2010-06-04 00:46:00 +0000 UTC]

I still like your style

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