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GrubbsWriting — How to Fix The World

Published: 2012-11-10 08:05:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 7649; Favourites: 400; Downloads: 96
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Description How strange
This abomination...
an execution, while play
The howling strings
Of the cellos
Of the veins
Of the time
Of humanity.

To the discord
Are the who and what,
the how and the why
Ever lost to that
of the cords
of the strings
of the howling
of History.

"Fix this", they cry,
the masses whose
words fester and boil,
carried words, spoken indirect
of the leaders
of the struggles
of the home
of the brave

The final breath
of humanities dying words
"in ashes, from ashes"
She speaks, so melancholy
of the future
of the present
of the past
of Civilization.

"World!" She pleads
with a cry, so finishing
"Heed and listen!"
To them she speaks
Of the necessary
of the desired
of the curses
of their blessings...
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Comments: 32

LongCoolWomanInBlack [2013-11-21 05:28:31 +0000 UTC]

I believe listen goes after learn and think goes between Learn and Attempt. Otherwise, it is a reassuring bright light.

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SaphirePZ [2012-11-15 13:26:17 +0000 UTC]

excellent work!

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IAstartov [2012-11-12 13:29:08 +0000 UTC]

I like it's structure, repeating "of" in each part creates an awesome rhythm, it sounds great.

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videakias [2012-11-12 06:33:37 +0000 UTC]

please remove my previouse comment

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GrubbsWriting In reply to videakias [2012-11-12 13:56:56 +0000 UTC]

Why

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videakias In reply to GrubbsWriting [2012-11-13 06:57:40 +0000 UTC]

I was wrong,your work was good,I accidently let this message to your work,I wanted to let t somewhere else

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GrubbsWriting In reply to videakias [2012-11-13 16:35:21 +0000 UTC]

It's been removed.

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videakias In reply to GrubbsWriting [2012-11-13 17:54:10 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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WakingDown [2012-11-12 05:19:20 +0000 UTC]

awesome

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Gornam [2012-11-11 18:06:02 +0000 UTC]

Awesome

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Nestharon [2012-11-11 16:14:20 +0000 UTC]

Quite interesting. You really know how to use the words. I started to write poems as well a few months ago, until now, I wrote short stories and spiritual lessons. But, I must say, your poem, reminds me of myself

Thank you for sharing. Namaste!

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SnappyIrides [2012-11-11 10:33:36 +0000 UTC]

This is one of those poems that you can mull over for days afterwards and still be able to extract meaning form it. Love it

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Maxim66 [2012-11-11 00:15:56 +0000 UTC]

I only need one word to describe it:awesome

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theartsydoglover [2012-11-10 22:53:42 +0000 UTC]

This is brilliant. Perfectly brilliant.

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PULSericsson [2012-11-10 15:12:43 +0000 UTC]

This is one of the greatest things I've ever had the pleasure to read.

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JonathanGragg [2012-11-10 15:10:57 +0000 UTC]

Love this pic, great work

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Ohygglighet [2012-11-10 15:02:18 +0000 UTC]

Epic!

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BlueStarrfire [2012-11-10 14:52:31 +0000 UTC]

its so amazing

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rubberduckies1 [2012-11-10 14:49:43 +0000 UTC]

that is amazing !!!

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jara29 [2012-11-10 14:40:56 +0000 UTC]

i like

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Nexzu [2012-11-10 14:17:46 +0000 UTC]

Reminds me of darksoul... I really enjoy the poem. keep it up!!!

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seb53 [2012-11-10 14:01:49 +0000 UTC]

woh , realy nice work , It make me think about Baudelaire .

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Merdahn [2012-11-10 13:46:31 +0000 UTC]

Surreal.... WOw... I like this!

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TheHomicidalPigeon [2012-11-10 13:43:25 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, nice! *-*

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Demyxismynickname [2012-11-10 13:39:02 +0000 UTC]

this is very well wirtten and abstract, i like it~!

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videakias [2012-11-10 13:26:26 +0000 UTC]

Hidden by Owner

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scarletrose7 In reply to videakias [2012-11-10 14:04:13 +0000 UTC]

Why are you here then
this is a place where you like, love or just leave and leave a nice comment, a suggestion to make it better, a critique, or just leave

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Demyxismynickname In reply to videakias [2012-11-10 13:38:36 +0000 UTC]

if you don't like it, then just leave the page, you don't have to be mean about it

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Hbot208 In reply to videakias [2012-11-10 13:37:47 +0000 UTC]

Well, since it's on DeviantArt, you didn't have to say anything.

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rdioactivetrash [2012-11-10 13:16:37 +0000 UTC]

this is so awesome

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Hayleyishayley [2012-11-10 12:00:50 +0000 UTC]

Brilliant work. Well done

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Metinks [2012-11-10 11:27:04 +0000 UTC]

I love this... makes me want to start writing again

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seldeus [2012-11-10 10:58:37 +0000 UTC]

Well, it is great, I think ! Is there a possibility to get it bigger ?

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