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Description
TW: Mentions of triggering things like SH.

I hate not being able to go a scentence without spacing out or getting distracted w smt as simple as a tree or some shit and either forgetting what I was saying or stuttering and restarting my scentences completely unable to spit it tf out. imagine this uhh you're speaking w a friend and you stop talking and start experiencing dissociation out of buttfuck nowhere and when you come back to reality you forget what your saying or can't really finish your scentence anymore and give up on the topic and change it.
I usually js blurt out the most random gibberish when I space out mid scentence all "BLBLBLBLTLRLTLTRRRUHHH" and try to talk again. I shut down alot and space out way too often and also take rejection and any form of anger or disappointment from other people AWFULLY. I mean I'll probably ghost the topic and continue on w the convo even though it's all im stressing about for days. theres been alot of dumb shit I've said without thinking at ALL and I freak out when people get upset about it (doesn't justify it I swear. I'm not saying some shit like WAAA IM SO SAD FORGIVE MEEE!!!!)
I'm a major fucking extrovert but I get super overwhelmed and shit around crowds or listening to multiple people talk at once bc it completely overstimulates my brain and it feels like a chaotic jumble of bullshit that makes you unable to think and eventually you zone out again. I also have other random problems (?) that don't necessarily connect to adhd, yk shit like constant stimming like flapping my hands, rocking back and forth or side to side, adding a really unhealthy amount of pressure to my left eye with my left hand, (I js do it without knowing im doing it idfk.) kicking rocking or bouncing my legs all the time (mainly due to the fact I've had RLS -restless leg syndrome- ever since I was 5 or some shit) pulling on my hair, scratching myself, chewing on my shirt or something else, the list goes on but there's also more amazing lovely problems that also fuck up my life!!! yayy /s
depression is a constant fucking struggle and oh my fucking god it sucks. it's been my total bff for over 3 years now and it's gotten bad enough to where attempting or "intrusive" thoughts or ideas/actions are normal at this rate. was put in a facility for a week from it. (didn't help at all, dont put your kids in those places assholes. i promise you they'll come back worse.) I've been taken on and off Prozac and Clonidine a few times now and the only stress relievers is writing/drawing about it, talking to my friend group, talking w my s/o, crying, eating, unfortunately self harm, etc.
anxiety is just as bad. I have anxiety attacks atleast once a week and I'm always zoning out and bouncing my knee so it's barely even noticable. js looks like me being me. it feels like some random wave of stress that increases your heart rate untill you have your sweaty ass head down in your arms and heavily breathing through your mouth. fun /s
it's also js random feelings of fear or worry and it's even worse when you don't even know what your anxious about as it progresses and gets worse.
so kids, this book is called "hb30 is crazy" written and illustrated BY horny herself in the flesh.
sorry I burned a hole into your brains with how freakishly long this post is <3

Description
TW: Mentions of triggering things like SH.

I hate not being able to go a scentence without spacing out or getting distracted w smt as simple as a tree or some shit and either forgetting what I was saying or stuttering and restarting my scentences completely unable to spit it tf out. imagine this uhh you're speaking w a friend and you stop talking and start experiencing dissociation out of buttfuck nowhere and when you come back to reality you forget what your saying or can't really finish your scentence anymore and give up on the topic and change it.
I usually js blurt out the most random gibberish when I space out mid scentence all "BLBLBLBLTLRLTLTRRRUHHH" and try to talk again. I shut down alot and space out way too often and also take rejection and any form of anger or disappointment from other people AWFULLY. I mean I'll probably ghost the topic and continue on w the convo even though it's all im stressing about for days. theres been alot of dumb shit I've said without thinking at ALL and I freak out when people get upset about it (doesn't justify it I swear. I'm not saying some shit like WAAA IM SO SAD FORGIVE MEEE!!!!)
I'm a major fucking extrovert but I get super overwhelmed and shit around crowds or listening to multiple people talk at once bc it completely overstimulates my brain and it feels like a chaotic jumble of bullshit that makes you unable to think and eventually you zone out again. I also have other random problems (?) that don't necessarily connect to adhd, yk shit like constant stimming like flapping my hands, rocking back and forth or side to side, adding a really unhealthy amount of pressure to my left eye with my left hand, (I js do it without knowing im doing it idfk.) kicking rocking or bouncing my legs all the time (mainly due to the fact I've had RLS -restless leg syndrome- ever since I was 5 or some shit) pulling on my hair, scratching myself, chewing on my shirt or something else, the list goes on but there's also more amazing lovely problems that also fuck up my life!!! yayy /s
depression is a constant fucking struggle and oh my fucking god it sucks. it's been my total bff for over 3 years now and it's gotten bad enough to where attempting or "intrusive" thoughts or ideas/actions are normal at this rate. was put in a facility for a week from it. (didn't help at all, dont put your kids in those places assholes. i promise you they'll come back worse.) I've been taken on and off Prozac and Clonidine a few times now and the only stress relievers is writing/drawing about it, talking to my friend group, talking w my s/o, crying, eating, unfortunately self harm, etc.
anxiety is just as bad. I have anxiety attacks atleast once a week and I'm always zoning out and bouncing my knee so it's barely even noticable. js looks like me being me. it feels like some random wave of stress that increases your heart rate untill you have your sweaty ass head down in your arms and heavily breathing through your mouth. fun /s
it's also js random feelings of fear or worry and it's even worse when you don't even know what your anxious about as it progresses and gets worse.
so kids, this book is called "hb30 is crazy" written and illustrated BY horny herself in the flesh.
sorry I burned a hole into your brains with how freakishly long this post is <3