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Hipcrit — Stranger than Fruition
Published: 2009-02-08 02:47:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 151; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Description They say she's too green to sing the blues
like Billie done; her strange fruit is an unpollinated
bud that never has or ever will see Papa Sun.

Her lilting cries of pain don't have enough history
in them to satisfy the tumbled-silky old cats who
used to make the birds chirp like anything way back
when their pajamas were the nattiest in town.

Even if she could make saints walk the streets
of New Orleans just to be closer to her voice,
back at the lounge they'd still want capitol-H Holiday tides
she's prohibited from getting her pantaloons wet in
'cause she was born on the white side of the tracks,
away from the musical creating of the shoeshine-blue ocean.

Revolutions later, she dreams of the colorblind fruit she has borne
running off toward the sun with his graceful, brassy, trumpet of a lover
and trying to find Louis in the sounds of sticky, shrimp gumbo air.
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Comments: 2

AlexanderSteele [2009-02-09 05:43:43 +0000 UTC]

Ohmygosh this is awesome! It's so vivid and fun even though it's from a sad point of view, just the way it's written makes me smile. I can see exactly where it comes from and feel the emotion in it. The rhythm is a tad sparatic, but that may be intentional. The wording and style are dead on. Bravo.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Hipcrit In reply to AlexanderSteele [2009-02-09 19:08:45 +0000 UTC]

Yay<3 I'm glad you like it. ^_^

Where in particular do you think the rhythm is funky?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0