HOME | DD

Hiyum β€” Behind My Bars by-nc-nd

Published: 2009-07-11 05:53:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 756; Favourites: 38; Downloads: 30
Redirect to original
Description EDIT
After some awesome critiques I went back and fixed this pic up. Thanks everyone!
I'm trapped behind my own bars, beaten down by society. I am blood thirsty for success and won't give up. Take me as I am.
Related content
Comments: 19

candyheartz [2009-07-16 04:11:59 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


What a beautiful meaning. It always makes a huge difference to art. I can really see the emotion in this. The bars have been done well, they don't take away from the subject as they are light, but still have the symbolism there. The blue in the mane really adds something to it. Personality and character, something unique without looking unrealistic. You work well with colour. The proportions of the face are a bit skewed, although you have done well. The eyes in particular and the shading of the showing cheek and inbetween the eyes. Working with real life reference photos tends to help me on those things. Also anatomy books are a huge help, I would recommend taking a look in your library. You can learn so much from books. Also perhaps emphasise the eyes more for even better impact and feeling. I would love to see you keep practising, you already have great skills and im sure you could create amazing artwork in future.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Hiyum In reply to candyheartz [2009-07-16 07:42:55 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the great critique!
You are very right about the face (especially the right eye). I'm very happy that you like the blue in his mane. Its' got to be my favorite thing about this piece. But i'll mess around with his face structure. Thanks again so much (:

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

hyperferret [2009-07-16 03:05:24 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


Phenomenal work, first of all. I love how you worked with the negative space by filling it with his mane. It gives this piece a strong composition.

I like the exploration of textures here. Like how the texture in the nose is so distinctly different from the furrier texture in the rest of the face. It creates some stronger realism. Speaking of textures, from the looks of this I'd say you might enjoy trying this out: [link] I think it would look cool with some grungy textures here and there. But of course, it's not needed.. it looks just as well on its own. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)" />

Anyway, getting down to business. Your composition is good- it looks like you have utilized the rule of thirds here. However, this is kind of a focal point conflict. I am drawn to his eyes, but I see that there is blood on his lips which brings your theme into play. Either of these could be your focal point, and they are both in good regions of the picture if they are meant to be focal points. But there has to be one- is it his eyes or the bloody mouth? Like I said, I find myself more drawn to the eyes, mostly because they are bold and you added a high level of detail to them. But I feel like the blood is a stronger symbol in regards to the theme/meaning of the piece, so I almost feel like that is where the focal point should be...

There are a few ways I would approach this. One would be to add some blood splatters near the eyes. Doesn't have to be a whole lot. I see that you have one there, but it looks more like a blood smear and splatters are more dramatic (haha e.deviantart.net/emoticons/let… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Lick)" />). But if you wanted to play with the blood smear/splatter some more, I would suggest making it more of a deep crimson color. After all, blood is.. blood red. haha. I think that would create strong imagery with two aspects of your theme: the strong will and the symbol of blood.

Or, if you wanted to pull the focal point to the mouth, then a bloody mess is in order! Think about what lions' mouths probably look like after they eat their kill.. yugh. D: I'd play with adding some blood stains to his muzzle or something.

Maybe I am just crazy about blood splatters and messes. I can also see why you might want to keep it subtle. Looks good that way.. but in that case, the focal point is definitely the eyes.

::wipes sweat:: whew, I sure like critiquing e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title="Bucktooth" />

I forgot to mention that I think your use of value is impressive. You've got core shadows and little shadows and highlights and everything with a cohesive light source. These days I swear nobody understands light sources.. ha.. you are one of the few. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/let… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Lick)" /> One thing I would look at, though, is adding a little tiny more value to the eyes. Just some slight shadows towards the top of the pupils might add some drama or something. ha.. I dunno.

Also excellent use of color. I like how you added the blue along the outer areas to make them recede and make the face pop out more.

All in all, excellent work. You clearly have a good understanding of color, composition and value. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)" />

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Tarzz96 [2009-10-03 07:59:01 +0000 UTC]

wow this has to be the best thing you have done so far

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Hiyum In reply to Tarzz96 [2009-10-10 09:10:48 +0000 UTC]

Thank you (:

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Tarzz96 In reply to Hiyum [2009-12-27 03:15:21 +0000 UTC]

n_n

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

blackwidowed [2009-07-15 04:05:56 +0000 UTC]

BEAUTIFUL pic. Seriously.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Hiyum In reply to blackwidowed [2009-07-15 16:08:10 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

IceStormWolf [2009-07-12 18:22:31 +0000 UTC]

that looks incredible i am at a loss for word! (except those X3)

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Hiyum In reply to IceStormWolf [2009-07-14 16:20:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

IceStormWolf In reply to Hiyum [2009-07-15 22:10:05 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

MissTown [2009-07-11 16:19:38 +0000 UTC]

ah.... this is lovely in the way that it portrays the emotion. But I'm sorry you feel this way. things get better, thoguh. always.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

MTborn [2009-07-11 15:17:08 +0000 UTC]

Oh, that's sad! One of my favorite animals is the lion, and you almost made me cry!!

At least you aren't giving up. I know too many people that just give up at the slightest hint of trouble, so keep pushing through!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Immonia [2009-07-11 10:34:49 +0000 UTC]

You can really feel how sad/miserable this lion is. I love how the colors seem to blend and pull the face to be one with the background. It makes the lion seem almost ghostly. Also, nice use of lining across the screen. It's not too distracting, adds effect to the image but at the same time, keeping the focus on the lion. Very awesome!

I do think the right lump over eyebrow (His right) leans in a little too much towards the left eye (His left). Try pulling it in a bit ^^

I also think the upper right lip and the bottom right lip (His left and right) could be pulled up a bit.

The shadowing on his nose can also be shortened to stay just between the eyes but that could just be me.

Fave+

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Hiyum In reply to Immonia [2009-07-11 16:42:02 +0000 UTC]

Okay thats whats wrong with him lol.
I knew something didn't look right. I'll have to mess with it (:

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Immonia In reply to Hiyum [2009-07-11 19:58:17 +0000 UTC]

lolz Glad I could help ^^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Dragonica93 [2009-07-11 06:10:35 +0000 UTC]

A. Awesome drawing! Lots of detail, emotion and symbolism, which earned you a !
B. Don't give up! Society will beat you down, and it's a given that one will make friends and enemies in this life. But that shouldn't stop a person from doing what they feel they must do. Determination and passion in everything you do = pure awesomeness! Sorry for the rant.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Hiyum In reply to Dragonica93 [2009-07-11 06:24:58 +0000 UTC]

Thanks (:
Exactly. Thats what makes a strong person. The ability to keep going even when times are rough. Again, thank you

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Dragonica93 In reply to Hiyum [2009-07-11 17:53:35 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0