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honey-art — OCD colored
Published: 2009-12-27 03:50:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 6861; Favourites: 111; Downloads: 289
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This is the colored version of the original sketch here -> [link]I have OCD.
The fear. The phobia of everything.
I am a prisoner inside my own mind.
A hermit, huddled in its shell.
My mind is like a sponge. I squeeze until nothing is left.
Until all the water is gone. Until everything I am is gone.
I stress myself.
Convince myself.
That I am insane.
That I am nothing, without the fear.
I can think of nothing but the fear.
The phobia.
The paranoia.
The ridiculousness of the fear is astonishing even to myself.
But I cannot stop.
I will not stop.
The fear eats me up until nothing is left.
It tears me apart.
Rips me limb from limb.
But I will not make it stop.
I cannot make it stop.
Is this a chemical imbalance in the brain?
Is this God’s idea of a practical joke?
Is this growing up?
Is this something that will pass?
I obsess over these questions.
I wait for this nightmare to end.
I wait the day I can rest my thoughts for ever.
Think more of the people who are suffering more than I am.
Dying.
Starving.
Killing each other.
Like I’m killing myself.
Limb from limb.
Inside and out.
I do this.
I do this everyday of my life.
I do this, because I have OCD.
The fear.
The obsession.
The ghost of my past, present, and future.
My own personal hell.
My own enemy.
My own self.
Eating itself alive.
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Comments: 99
I just wrote this blog post about how I overcame a large amount of my OCD tendencies; I hope it can help someone. I used to have very bad OCD, I always believed that I had to perform my rituals so that my family can be safe and no harm would be done to anyone I loved. This blog post talks about my mindset when I was overcoming these rituals when they would start. You also can PLEASE contact me through my blog and leave me a comment and I hope to be of help. www.workwithdavidweber.com/how…
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It looks really cool in color too. I love both equally though.
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I think I might have it. I have a fear of some things and it will drive me insane! I was dealing with intrusive thoughts a lot last summer and I'm still dealing with it, but not as badly.
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I also suffer from OCD. i was very drawn to this, because i have painted something very similar to this to illustrate my OCD. you can see it here: innsjo.deviantart.com/art/cons…
i thought it was an interesting similarity, with something dark coming out of our heads, haha. i love this piece, it describes it well.
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Whoa they are very similar haha I think thats very relevant to how the condition really feels, like there's a dark swirling screaming mass in our heads all the time. I'm very glad you can relate, it reminds me I'm not the only one dealing with this.
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yes, i thought it was very interesting how we expressed the same feeling in a similar way. i also saw another person who painted a monster coming from their head, which is similar too 
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i understand u mate.. i saw this pic and thought that it captures the reality of ocd very well
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;w; so pretty, I have it too, are you going to the OCD conference by any chance?
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Oooooo
Its so bad that so many people have
this terrible illness....
[link]
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OH. MY. GOD. This is simply AMAZING. The artwork, the poem... perfect! This is so accurate it's almost disturbing. I have OCD and I can see myself in what you've done here. My brain gets stuck on the fear of catching tuberculosis, and worrying about causing bad things to happen by the things I do (like putting on my clothes a certain way, or washing my hands a certain way). It really does consume you and how you described it as your own self eating itself alive is perfect.
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thanks dude (: glad you can relate to it, and thanks for the favorite
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yeah food is always an issue for me, thanks for the favorite by the way (:
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I just came across this picture. It's a very good illustration of OCD. Exactly how I feel...everyday.
It's so hard...
I'm glad there are other people out there who go through what I have to...
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For sure, you're definitely not alone. Glad you like it. (:
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Thank you for this piece, it really demonstrates this terrible mental disease.
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You're welcome but it's not a terrible mental disease, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes severe anxiety. I don't have a disease. I have anxiety issues that just make up apart of who I am. I have suffered but that's just apart of existence. Please don't call it a disease. I'm not ill. I have anxiety.
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It feels like a disease to me. It's made me mostly a housebound hermit.
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I want to thank you so much for this work! I have been very touched, it's a perfect description of OCD. How you feel inside, strangling and how you look to others, like you're sad and you don't pay attention to anything, while the truth is that you feel pain and you just stare to nowhere in particular, trying to supress all those thoughts and feelings that are running in circles in your mind.
It's obvious that I also suffer from OCD and I think that only we can understand each other.
Your post is precious not only for representing OCD so well, but also because it gives a chance to fellow-sufferers to express themselves and to see that there are other people in the world who can really understand them! I am not happy that a lot of people are suffering as I do, but I have to admit that it's kind of a relief, we are not alone and we can understand each other!
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I'm glad this means this much to you. Never be ashamed of your anxiety, it's apart of who you are but it does not define you (: thank you for the kind comments.
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As a fellow sufferer, I can tell you with complete honesty that this is one of the most accurate portrayals of OCD I've ever seen/read. When I was at my worst I felt exactly as you've so beautifully depicted. Keep up the good work!
Also, I'm not sure if you intended this or not, but the anxious figure's position seems reminiscent of Munch's "The Scream", which is usually considered one of the most famous depictions of anxiety. However, I think your's is more powerful.
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Hey thanks, I'm glad you were able to relate to it. (: I actually did intend to make the face look like "The Scream", it made a lot of sense to me to do so.
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I do this everyday of my life too. Wonderful art. Thank you so much.
-Atiya
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Thank YOU for the favorite (:
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WOW... I know how you feel. I have OCD too, and it's horrible. I really like your picture and your poem thingy.
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why thanks (: glad you could relate.
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thank you so much for drawing this. It means a lot to me <3
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thanks 
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I can relate. I have OCD as well And I love how you were probably the only one on here, that does artwork on the obsession part of OCD, unlike everyone else who just does compulsions. I happen to have OCD and I dont have any compulsions. Great Job!!!
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why thanks
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Your welcome, I think the reason why people do artwork that depict compulsions so much, is because people think thats the worst part of OCD, when really it the obsesions behind it..Or I at least that what I think.
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I agree, I think compulsions are an act of release, or a way to try to release anxiety, the obsessive anxiety.
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Your art is breathtaking.
The way you curl the lines, it fits perfectly with both the warmth of the girl and the shrillness of the scream you can hear from the monster within. The contrast is so apparent but at the same time so fluid that it just emits emotion from every detail. I love it.
I have OCD and this is exactly what it feels like. This picture particularly speaks to me because it seems like her body is in day but the monster is at night. Mine gets so bad at night, even last night I didn't go to sleep at all because there was a shadow on my wall. It was round so I thought it was the head of a killer. I stared at it for 2 hours, convincing myself that I wasn't going to die. I'm still not convinced.
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thanks so much for the lovely comments
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Amazing picture. It well represents the suffer of ocd.
I have ocd too, since my childhood. I can understand what you feel.
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why thanks
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I have suffered from a severe case of ocd for a while.
I washed my hands raw, shut myself off from the world for weeks on end, given myself stomach aches to the point where I'd vomit. Even as I write this to you I worry about a million things (will I get a stomach ache because of posting this, will I get sick, will I die....etc).
Thank you for posting this beautiful piece of work. I admire you greatly.
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thanks, I'm glad you can relate. I understand what you mean by these irrational fears, I had those a lot when I was younger, and I can assure you, you will not get a stomach ache, get sick, or die from posting this
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Listen to the "The Clicker" from the Alan Wake score while reading this poem; it fits wonderfully.
As a sufferer of OCD, this work hit me in the right spots. The picture above also illustrates how fellow sufferers feel trapped, anxious, and insecure. Will we ever be free from this turmoil? It's just so hard to deal with. I know it's ridiculous, but I just can't stop myself.
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Whoa, powerful song. I'm glad you can relate to this
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Nobody is perfect; perfection is impossible, as we all have our own unique flaws. You're right, you know. Those flaws do make life interesting--now that I think about it some more. Variety--something new, different, and interesting--is enjoyable.
I'm glad that you've made good progress on your OCD. By accepting it, you have essentially conquered it? That takes a lot of discipline.
The frustration I feel when OCD "attacks" me is immense because I know that I don't have to do what it wants, but I keep performing those repetitive tasks because of the notion that something horrible may happen if I don't. The worst part is that this problem is man-made, my fault.
I hope to conquer it like you have. You deserve high respect for your accomplishment.
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why thanks
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Thanks
Through encouragement from family, I've learned to be more confident towards what I do, so I don't always feel the need to anxiously check things over and over and over and over as of late. My checking quota has decreased as a result, but the anxiety still remains--albeit not as strong. Progress is good, as my work speed has been steadily increasing.
It's all about confidence . . . that is anxiety's weakness. A role model, someone who represents the best we know we are capable of being, can help in that regard. If he/she can finish things without worry, than so can we.
You'll overcome your anxiety. Within each person is vast power. I have complete faith in you.
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