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IagoOthello — A Childhood
Published: 2011-02-01 08:27:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 479; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 0
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Description
I was born into a household many might callRich, easy, loving
Two parents still very much in love
Two annoying yet loved older siblings
And a caring, cuddly, fluffy dog
Rich... Not exactly, but I couldn't complain
Easy... Not really, I was and am pushed to work harder,
Be better,
Good grades, attitude, manners
Loving... Yes, though the occasional smacks takes me away from that sometimes
All in all a pretty nice life
Until it wasn't
Losing my father at age 12
Suddenly
Unexpectedly
To a heart attack
Finding comfort in fists connecting with walls
And Sharp objects meeting flesh
Being sent to a therapist
Diagnosis?
PTSD, ADHD, Bipolar, Anxiety, Depression
My own personal messed up, mixed up cocktail of the mind
Add a psychiatrist and
Cue medication trials
Adderall - Shaking like a heroin addict without a fix
Strattera - Driven near to committing suicide
Zoloft - Good enough till the mood swings got worse
Lamictal - Added to Zoloft it seems to work...
Most of the time
But potentially lethal if stopped cold turkey?
That's one way to make sure you keep taking it
Middle school bullying morphs into high school drama
Grades steadily worsening
Finding a job, losing a job
At least when I came out it went pretty smoothly
Finally got my license
Third time's the charm they say
Mom;s got a boyfriend
He's alright
Cept when I hear things late at night
Can't get my headphones in fast enough
Don't sleep in a room next to your parents
Unless it's soundproof
Present day
Still searchin' for a job
Hopin' to make it into a college I WANT to go to
Still coverin' up scars
Placing a smiling mask over a frown
Crossin' my fingers
Praying that after childhood
Things will actually start to look up
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Comments: 12
It's a little more like angsty prose than a poem, but it's not bad writing.
I'm on zoloft, it doesn't do much for what it's supposed to.
But I sort of understand what you're saying,
just from an opposite view. I know that made little sense- and my apologies that I cannot put it to different more inteligiable wording
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It's k, I get what you're saying.
And yeah, Spoken Word for me always seems to mix between poetry and pros.
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Wow, man where do I start?
This. I love it.
Innocent at first then downward spiral. And it happened so fast. Tragic. Rough. Trudging through mud to get back to where you were and the monsters come back and attack. But you still walk up the mud and stairs to go back up. It wasn't easy, but your still walking. Better. Soft. But still harsh.
Your selection on words and timing made this an interesting piece to read. Unique and well written.
Very Deep.
Your very strong person to go through all of that. To be honest, I don't if I was able to go through all that.
Thank you for letting us have a glimpse of your world.
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Wow, thank you. I'm glad you could find all that inside this piece.
Comments like these make my works feel like they were really worth while to write, so... thank you again.
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xD No problem at all, hun ^^
I know what it's like to go through a spiral of confusion. I have a panic disorder and it wasn't easy for me to come back up to the surface, but in the that long road, you always make it. It's a puzzle with a lot of factors and theories when your all alone in the dark. It's very troublesome. 
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Hey no worries
Find comfort that your not the only one
Things definatly seem better when you have a friend who understands
And if your in need of a rant ive been told im a good listener!!
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Thank you
Same to you by the way, I'm in the good listener department as well, at least according to my friends.
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It seems weird to think we've never met, because I feel kinda like you know me, and I at I know you better than people who I HAVE met.
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it does seem weird lol. cuz i do have to remind myself sometimes that we havent XD lol its nice though knowing that people you've never met do care. and no problem at all :]
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Agreed, it is a very nice feeling
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