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illuminaraJukebox Cafe
Published: 2013-06-17 19:21:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 5021; Favourites: 120; Downloads: 0
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            A string of bells jingled obnoxiously against glass as Hugh entered the Jukebox Café. The first thing he noticed was the pepless fan rotating just enough to move hot air and the smell of grease from one side of the restaurant to the other. No one came for the food, or at least that’s what he assumed upon sight of the sticky red tablecloths and French fries that speckled the checkered floor. That and the fact that he was the only soul in sight.

            He walked up to the bar and squinted at a sign asking customers to “Please seat yourself or ring for service.” What kind of café required its customers to ring a bell for service? Not sure if there was an employee in the place, he rang it despite the sheen applied by dirty hands, and the shrill sound barely cut through an old tune produced by the jukebox in the corner.

            Almost a full minute later, a young woman appeared from the back, wiping her hands on her waitress’s apron. She smiled and said, “Can I get you a menu?”

            “No, thanks. I’m looking for the proprietor of this establishment.”

            “That would be me.”

            He looked her up and down, noticing every detail from her worn-out clothes and dirty blonde hair to her beach of freckles and the lime green polish chipping from her nails. Certain his face betrayed his skepticism, he asked, “How long have you owned the place?”

            “Well, it kind of fell into my hands about a year ago. Why do you need to know?” She frowned, quite positive his cheap excuse for a suit jacket and ten dollar sunglass didn’t belong in her café and certainly had no right to question her.

            He paused a moment, then grunted. “Right. I always forget.” He fished around in his pocket and produced a wallet, flipped it open, and held it out for her. “Hugh Cartwright, Fault Line Management.”

            Without batting an eyelash, she inspected the card carefully. “I wouldn’t have accused you of being a management man.”

            “I’ll count that as a compliment.”

            “Don’t.”

            Not knowing exactly how to continue, Hugh returned his identification to his pocket while considering his words. “Do you get much business?” he asked obviously after a moment of awkward silence filled by a sad song from the jukebox.

            “It’s a madhouse most days; you just came at a bad time."

            She said it totally deadpan, and he had to hesitate, not sure whether to acknowledge the statement as sarcasm. So he moved on to the real business of his visit. “Management has reported numerous fault line disturbances at this location. I assume you can collaborate that.”

            “Disturbances?” She blinked at him. “Hardly.”

            “Something’s going on, hence my visit.” He waited for what he assumed would be her inevitable explanation, which never came. “Since you’re making me ask, here it is: This is an official investigation, and I need to know what at this location is causing the disturbances.”

            “Well,” she said plainly, “why don’t you do a little actual investigation and find out for yourself? Or aren’t you management types paid to do anything more than talk?”

            “Ah, so there is something to find.” He seemed satisfied with himself for getting that insinuation out of her, and she frowned.

            “Either there is or there isn’t. I’m simply saying it’s your job to find out, not mine.”

            “Fair enough.” He pushed up his sunglasses and stepped away from the counter. “It’s not like I expect cooperation from you keepers.” Reaching into his pocket, he produced a translucent, bean-sized device and adjusted it into his ear. Then he stood perfectly still and listened—listened to the beat of the fan, to the throbbing of traffic outside, to the sizzle of the fryer in the kitchen, and then to the strum of guitar chords artificially vibrating from the jukebox.

            That was it, the jukebox. He walked over, around a few tables, and leaned in to notice every detail. He determined every color of its psychedelic arches and every condiment-tipped smudge, but most importantly he noticed the minute fracture in the tile at the machine’s base.

            He smiled to himself and knelt down, slowly tracing his fingers along the line. “It’s been a while since I’ve encountered a sound disturbance,” he said mostly to himself. “In a fault this small, it’s one of the few things that can worm its way through. But it obviously does.”

            “Obviously? Really? A crack in the floor of a dump like this?” She’d walked up behind him and crossed her arms. “That’s quite a stretch.”

            Hugh turned and finally removed his sunglass. “I’ve been in management a lot longer than a year. I know obvious when I see it.” He paused for a second. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

            “I didn’t give it.”

            “And now I’m asking.” At her look of defiance, he added, “Officially.”

            “Annie.”

            “Annie ... ?”

            “Just Annie.”

            “Okay, Just Annie, tell me about this jukebox.”

            She shrugged. “There’s not much to tell. It’s been here since I acquired the place, playing music, you know, like jukeboxes are known to do.”

            “And you’ve been its keeper.”

            She rolled her eyes. “You can see how well I take care of it, so yeah, let’s go with ‘keeper.’” She added air quotes for sarcastic emphasis.

            “You have quite the well rehearsed defense.”

            “And you have no proof.” She narrowed her eyes at his smile. “What?”

            “You did it again, implied that there’s proof to be found.”

            “You have your work cut out for you if you want to transform that fancy to truth.”

            “That’s why you’re going to help me.”

            She uncrossed her arms and placed them on her hips. “What exactly about our discourse thus far has led you to that conclusion?”

            “Only that I’m sure a year’s been long enough for you to have seen first hand how dangerous fault disturbances can be. Management sent me to negate those dangers, no matter how slim you may perceive them to be.”

            “Yeah, I understand that disturbances are dangerous, but there’s no disturbance here. It’s a perfectly functioning fault.”

            Something in her voice hinted otherwise, and he studied her closely. “Perfectly functioning?” Her expression faltered, and he didn’t need to say more. He simply waited.

            “Well, certainly nothing that qualifies as a disturbance, but things have happened. Nothing dangerous, just ... out of the ordinary. This fault line is unique, it’s evolving.”

            “Nothing evolves when it comes to fault lines.” He sighed and took a seat at the nearest table, gesturing for her to join him. Locking eyes with her, he explained, “They only devolve and mutate over time into something unstable at best and death traps at worst.” He tried to conceal the pain in his voice, but he doubted with much success.

            “You lost someone to a fault, didn’t you?” She spoke softly for the first time, which transformed her youthful defiance into innocent concern.

            Hugh swallowed and cleared his throat, then said, “My wife and daughter.”

            An awkward silence; it endured pitifully.

            Finally, he composed himself. “That’s why I’m here. I don’t want anyone else to lose the people they love like I did. You understand why this is important?”

            “Yes.” She examined his expression but could find no sight into his soul. “I assure you, nothing like that could happen here.”

            “Why not?”

            “Come see for yourself.” She moved back to the jukebox and held out a hand. “Give me a dime.” He produced one from his pocket and dropped it onto her palm, and she flicked it into the machine with skilled ease. “Now pick a song.”

            He read a few of the album titles and shook his head. “Power by Kansas? I’ve never heard of any of these.”

            “Is that the music’s fault or yours?”

            “Fine.” He read through the songs and said, “How about ‘Taking In the View?’”

            “Great. This song will give you the answer to your question.”

            “I didn’t ask a question.”

            “But you still want to know the answer.”

            Hugh’s eyebrows furrowed in perplexity. He’d never met quite such a riddlesome keeper before, but there was something about her that intrigued him, so he decided to stop questioning everything and let her show him whatever she intended.

            “Are you ready?” she asked. He nodded, and she pressed in the buttons P7. The record dropped into place and began to play the song’s eerie cords. “Close your eyes and just listen,” she said. “Feel the heartbeat of it.”

            Hugh wanted to shut his eyes and join her in tranquil stillness, but he couldn’t remove himself from the transformation happening around him. The lights flickered in tune to the rhythm of music, and then all the material furnishings joined the dance around enchanted lyrics.


            The world began to change

            The children moved and they had children

            It was all arranged, you couldn't live there anymore

 

            All you had was that old place

            In the middle of the path of progress

            So they took the space and put the ceiling on the floor

 

            In one of the rooms all the walls were blue

            It was hidden so well that no one knew

            Just the place for taking in the view 


            Blackness struck like the beat of a wing and then vanished into a hazy afternoon. The music continued, but now dull and tinny, barely escaping the jukebox speakers.

            Annie opened her eyes nodded to the now bustling café. “Welcome to my other palace.”

            A quick glance around revealed the same café but even more worn out, though this time the florescent light gleamed from a polished floor and clean tablecloths. The same fan swung overhead, but it seemed to have a little more pep. The real difference was the people. The place now brimmed with laughing children who gorged themselves on fries while spilling ketchup and smiling parents who tried their best to clean small faces.

            Hugh stepped forward into the place, amazed. “This is—”

            “Annie!” A stout young man sporting an apron and buzz cut emerged from the swinging doors of the kitchen and interrupted him. “About time you got back. Table twelve is ready to order.”

            “Thanks, Chuck. I’m on it.”

            Chuck nodded and disappeared within the depths of the kitchen.

            Hugh turned back to Annie. “Who was that?”

            “My boss. I hired him shortly after acquiring the place.”

            “You hired your own boss?" He raised an eyebrow, then lowered it again. "Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

            “What do you want to know, exactly?” A glare began to take shape on her face. “Does this place look like an unstable death trap to you?”

            “Well, no, not at first—”

            “I didn’t think so. I brought you here so you could see for yourself that there’s nothing disturbed about it, so why don’t you hurry up and do your investigating so I can get on with my business. As you can see, it’s booming, and I have tables to wait.”

            “Whoa, okay.” He held up his hands on reflex. “I’ll get started. Please bring me a glass of water.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “I always start by drinking the water.”

            She narrowed her eyes, then sighed, not in defeat but in resignation. “I’ll be right back.”

            Hugh walked over to the bar and took a seat on one of the faded red stools while he waited. He listened to the chatter and paid attention to the rhyme and pitch of it, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The string of bells rang as the door opened, and two new patrons entered the café. A mother guided her middle school aged daughter to a booth, and they began to chat softly to each other. They looked so much alike, both with thickly curled black hair, tan skin that glowed even in the worst of lights, and inquisitive dark eyes.

            Hugh leaned forward, not sure he could believe what he saw. Was it even possible?

            “Here you go.” Annie set a glass of water on the counter with unnecessary force, startling him from his thoughts. But he didn’t say anything and didn’t look away from the booth. “What is it?”

            “That’s impossible,” he said.

            “What?” She followed his line of sight. “Sophia and Marie? They’re regulars.”

            He abruptly turned to her, imploring her with intense eyes. “You know them?”

            “I just said they’re regulars. Why? Do you know them?”

            “They’re my family ... but they can’t be here. There were erased from time itself.”

            “Unless you’re wrong.”

            He watched his wife wink a secret message to his daughter, and Marie laughed the laugh of a hundred bubbles bursting all at once. “I want to be wrong,” he whispered.

            “This place is a haven,” she said simply, and he believed her.

Related content
Comments: 95

xXThe-WhispererXx [2013-10-31 12:22:16 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful

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illuminara In reply to xXThe-WhispererXx [2013-10-31 23:14:46 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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Gryphyn-Bloodheart [2013-08-25 03:55:29 +0000 UTC]

Overall, it's a cute story, I think the "fault line management" system is interesting and would like to know more about it. But that's always the thing with sci-fi shorts -- if you really want to expand on your world and its rules, it's hard to keep it a short story


There's a "through" that should be "throat", a "head" that should be "heard", a "bought" that should be "brought", "... even in the worst of lights" might be better as "worst lighting"... There are some places where the wording just sounds a little off, feels like it just needs a good read-through. I think it would be a good idea to read the piece aloud to yourself and make some minor revisions, just nitpick it to death. For instance: "...revealed the same café but even more worn out, though this time the florescent light gleamed from a polished floor and clean tablecloths." This description doesn't make me feel like the place is more "worn out." It's also worth mentioning, check every word ending in -ly and make sure it's the best thing to put there.


I would like a little more information in the story about what these fault lines entail, how secret they are or are not in this world. I like that we find out a lot of this through dialogue, and it isn't directly told to us, and maybe you can have more of that, have them discuss the dangers or lack thereof of these fault lines in the context of the world around them. "Remember that one that was all over the news in december..." "but the next day there was one that did such-and-such..." but there are other subtle ways of revealing more information, like perhaps Hugh feels really anxious every time he does one of these investigations because maybe he was there when he lost his family and saw it happen, perhaps certain things feel familiar about this cafe, or you describe something in the cafe a certain way that implies something entirely different without saying it directly. (Example: "An awkward silence; it endured pitifully." perhaps might be better describing a sight or sound or sensation within the setting that we focus on uncomfortably as the time passes.) The moment when it's revealed that Hugh lost his family to a fault line feels a little cliche, I feel like it'd be better if she didn't know or if this fact was revealed more subtly. Or, at least, when it is revealed, engage the reader in it a little deeper by revealing details about how this happened.


At the very end, there needs to be a lot more emotional intensity. This is the climax, and it falls a bit flat. You need to make your reader feel whatever Hugh is feeling. I should know what it would feel like to be in his body at that moment. I like that there's a bit of a noir feel throughout the piece, and I'd like to really feel the contrast more between that and this haven.


Hope this doesn't feel like too much critical feedback. It's a story with a lot of potential, I just see a lot of places where it can be cleaned up, and I hope you plan to come back and revise it at some point.



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illuminara In reply to Gryphyn-Bloodheart [2013-08-31 22:19:54 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for pointing out all the typos! It’s impossible for me to find them myself.

I appreciate your attempt to help my syntax, but I’ve read through this many, many times, and it’s almost exactly how I want it. I want it to feel a little … different. That’s just how it should be in my mind. Every adjective and adverb is entirely intentional, I assure you.

Yeah, that would be cool, but I don’t really know anything more about the fault lines at this point. I may work more on figuring it out at some point, but I have other writing projects that take priority right now. But no, Hugh isn’t an anxious kind of guy, which should be fairly obvious … "An awkward silence; it endured pitifully,” is a retake on a line from Gatsby, and I’m sure no one other than me gets, but I like it anyhow.

OK, so the goal of every story is to have an arc, a path of change, if you will. In order for Annie to crack and start cooperating with Hugh, he has to tell her something personal that will resonate with her. Hence the revelation about his family. But men don’t do details (especially if those details are tied to something emotional), so that simple revelation is all he’s gonna say.

There needs to be more emotional intensity? What if I don’t want there to be more emotional intensity? What if the only emotional pull I’m going for is that one little spark of change I reveal in the very last line when Huge decides he wants to be wrong about everything he believes? Maybe the point isn’t to show readers exactly how Hugh is feeling. Maybe the point is to let them guess. I firmly believe that, in this case, less is more.

And no, I do not plan to “clean up” or revise this story in any significant way. I feel it does indeed live up to its potential because it came out exactly how I intended it to feel.

Sorry, I’m not trying to bash your suggestions. I’m just pointing out that I did everything I did with this story for a reason. It’s typically a good idea to assume that’s the case when critiquing, especially if you are a complete internet stranger.

Anyhow, I definitely appreciate your time and feedback! Trust me, I don’t mind getting critical feedback at all. It’s great to get different points of view on my work; however, I want to point out that it’s often unwise to spread your opinion all over a piece without knowing the author’s intent. If you do, please expect them to defend their piece and not take any of your suggestions. Critical feedback is a two-way street that hopefully opens up a helpful dialogue for both parties.

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Gryphyn-Bloodheart In reply to illuminara [2013-08-31 23:46:34 +0000 UTC]

No, it's alright. Take it as you will. Just wanted to share some of my impressions, and just hope at least some of them were helpful in some way.

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EstrellaCorazon [2013-07-07 04:01:23 +0000 UTC]

very nice! your DD is very well deserved!

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illuminara In reply to EstrellaCorazon [2013-07-07 17:11:54 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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KCKinny [2013-06-30 06:22:58 +0000 UTC]

Just the right length the balance the mystery with the "reveal".

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illuminara In reply to KCKinny [2013-06-30 14:03:02 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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Chaldemone [2013-06-26 01:57:38 +0000 UTC]

So, towards the end, I found one typo: She narrowed her eyes, then signed, not in defeat but in resignation. “I’ll be right back.”

I'm assuming "signed" was supposed to read "sighed".

Also, this line was confusing to read: He looked her up and down, noticing every detail from her worn-out clothes and dirty blonde hair pulled back in a pony tail to her beach of freckles and the lime green polish chipping from nails.

I recommend deleting "pulled back in a pony tail". It just reads smoother without it, and it's not like the pony tail is critical to the story.

Otherwise, really pretty story.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-06-30 00:55:52 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! It has been fixed.

True. I could definitely do without that part.

Glad you liked it. Also, I haven't heard anything from you in a while. How's life?

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-07-01 19:26:31 +0000 UTC]

Life's been strange. Kind of just in limbo at the moment, though I'm pretty excited about the possibilities with the new job I just started. I'm working at a bike shop, currently just as a sales associate, but there's room for growth. I broke my arms back in March and haven't been doing much since. Just started a different job last month and got this job last week.

How's your life? Seems like you've still been active in the lit community here on dA. I've been considering leaving for a while now, but it's somewhat convenient storage space.

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-07-02 13:49:54 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I know the feeling. That sounds like a pretty cool job. I'm personally tired of office jobs, but I can't seem to find anything else. That sucks about your arms though. Are you started to dabble in art again yet?

I'm really not doing much right now except attempting to write a lot. And training my new puppy. She's adorable and smart ... which is probably a dangerous combination. I'm also thinking about going to college for technical writing, but I don't know. Eh, I try, but I'm always discouraged by the lack of quality content around here. Oh well. At least there are some cool people. dA IS convenient for storage if nothing else.

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-07-09 18:31:41 +0000 UTC]

Eh. You could always just save up and go back to school to learn something else. Even if I stick with this job for a while, I'll probably end up going to school to learn welding, haha. And no, I haven't done art in ages. Can't find my kneaded erasers, which isn't the end of the world... but would've been incredibly useful for the only art project that I have left on my to-do list. (I agreed to draw something for a friend and haven't done it yet... it's been two years.)

Yeah, the community of skilled writers on this site is rather scattered and sparse, to say the least. I haven't written much either, which may or may not be a good thing. I don't know. It doesn't serve the purpose it used to, or maybe that purpose is no longer necessary for me. Technical writing sounds like a drag, but you'd probably be able to make it tolerable, haha. What've you been writing, tutorials aside?

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-07-10 03:34:47 +0000 UTC]

I've heard you can make a decent living by welding. Hey, whatever works. If you don't completely hated it and it's a way to make money, it's all good.

That's sad about your lack of creativity lately. I understand about not doing something because it no longer serves any purpose. I've dropped a few hobbies for similar reasons, but I hope you can find some way to stay creative!

I've been working on a novel for a little while now. I've finally stepped out of development and into first draft stage, but I'm lazy and haven't gotten past the first few chapters yet.

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-07-11 07:13:28 +0000 UTC]

I just think welding's cool, or hot, haha. A bit dangerous, but I'll be taking safety precautions seriously for the rest of my life after my little tumble.


Been doing personal research projects as I'm planning on moving. I suppose I should really just hurry up and finish getting TESOL certified and go off to continue finding work abroad. But I really like working with bicycles, haha.

Haha, yeah, I've been lazy too. Will finally commit to running now that I've got a friend to hold me accountable. Ran most of one mile today. (Walked/jogged a bit more, but not for time.) I'm probably a better runner now than I was in high school, which is surprising because I was definitely in better shape then than I am in now. I'll probably log my struggles and accomplishments privately, just to keep track of improvement. If only writing worked the same way, haha.

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-07-21 23:47:00 +0000 UTC]

Haha, well that sounds reasonable.


Good luck with the running. That's something I could never do, but I'm in awe of people who can. 

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-07-23 15:35:55 +0000 UTC]

Augh. Update: Bought a really expensive bike; lost my running shoes. Not sure if I want to spend money on new shoes at the moment, though I can get them discounted without having to wait around for a sale. Unfortunately, even if I bought new shoes, it would take a while for them to get to me. Not even sure when I'll get my bike; a month-ish from now? Pretty excited about it though. That's the bike I got.

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-07-23 20:46:59 +0000 UTC]

Sweet! It looks totally awesome. So are you going to do some pretty serious training and/or competitions, or are you just really passionate about biking? (Or both, haha.)

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-07-24 17:05:16 +0000 UTC]

Probably not going to train or compete anytime soon. It's just to commute to work, really. And I work at a bike shop, so clearly I love bicycles.

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-07-24 17:07:31 +0000 UTC]

That's awesome. I'm all about having nice things that are both useful and enjoyable.

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-07-25 06:58:13 +0000 UTC]

I do want to build up my endurance though, so 40-60 mile bike rides are in my not-too-distant future.

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-07-25 16:06:06 +0000 UTC]

Sweet! And good luck. Hopefully some walks longer than a mile will be in future this week/weekend. lol

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-08-02 06:28:32 +0000 UTC]

Did you get around to your long walks? I haven't biked more than 10 miles in a day so far, but that changes tomorrow. >.< Hopefully I won't struggle too much with it. 

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-08-02 18:57:48 +0000 UTC]

I've gone on some good ones! 10 miles seems like quite a lot to me. But good luck!

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-08-03 07:39:19 +0000 UTC]

It's not all in one go, and it's pretty fast with a road bike. Biked to work (8 miles) in 35 minutes. Came home a lot faster than I would have with public transportation. Drivers here are assholes, though. I really hate dealing with them. Kind of want to get a foghorn to startle the drivers honking at me. And a bag of rocks to toss at drivers who try to run me over.

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-08-05 02:16:53 +0000 UTC]

Nice. I've come to the conclusion that drivers everywhere are assholes. A foghorn would be awesome.

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-08-08 04:46:11 +0000 UTC]

Not nearly as much so. I guess a part of it is just that the driver to cyclist ratio is much larger here than it is in other cities; I mean, most of the trails that people bike on are trails that people will drive their bikes to. Didn't make much sense to me before biking more regularly around here and learning what dicks the bulk of them are. What's changed in your life? Any significant progress on your book? Sorry I haven't had time to get to it yet; I will eventually! 

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-08-08 15:11:31 +0000 UTC]

Um, not really. I'm still looking for a job and haven't had much luck because the economy sucks. But oh well. Mostly I'm training my dog. I'll start taking her to a group training class next week and might start teaching my own classes after that, so that's exciting. I'm making some slow progress on the book. I need to change the very first scene of the first chapter, though, so no rush getting to it.


Other than biking, are you up to anything new/interesting? 

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-08-21 23:31:18 +0000 UTC]

Signed up for some free online courses with Stanford University. Since they require that I interact with other students, I think I actually have a shot of completing them, especially the shorter term ones since internet here is actually reliable, haha. Bought running shoes so I'll actually run on top of biking in a few weeks. Yay. 


Life hasn't changed much really. Just looking forward to moving out of here. What about you? How's your puppy doing? Did you find a job yet?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-08-26 22:55:07 +0000 UTC]

Free courses? That sounds pretty sweet. What kind of subjects are you studying? (I'm thinking about taking some business classes at some point ...) Good luck with all that!


Yeah, moving out's always good for moral. Breeze is doing super well. She's getting big and incredibly fluffy. I got a job! Last week I started at a firearms story doing receiving and inventory. I actually love it, so that's a relief. 

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-09-11 19:05:31 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, Stanford's got a bunch of free courses online, same goes for MIT and numerous other universities. I kind of like MIT's approach better - having all the material there and free for anyone to go through at any point in time. Sure, there aren't peers with whom you can interact with regarding the material, but at the same time, there aren't any stupid deadlines to meet either. I seem doomed to have technology failures every time I try to take online courses. (My laptop died; literally, the power button does nothing.)


Congrats on the job! Are you still loving it? Sounds interesting, to say the least. I'm glad Breeze is doing well and learning quickly. Smart dog.  

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-09-12 00:42:10 +0000 UTC]

That IS a good approach. I'll have to go check it out. And naturally, technology doesn't play well with the pursuit of ... well, of anything productive. I hope it starts working again though or is at least fixable. 


Yep, it's still pretty sweet. Starting to get the hang of it.

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Chaldemone In reply to illuminara [2013-10-06 03:40:27 +0000 UTC]

Yeah... my friend sent it in for an RMA. I still have no idea if/when I'm getting my laptop back. 

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illuminara In reply to Chaldemone [2013-10-08 00:31:20 +0000 UTC]

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Rakshiel-MoGaidren [2013-06-25 02:43:18 +0000 UTC]

I like it. Just when I think I've got it, the plot-line twists out of my grasp

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illuminara In reply to Rakshiel-MoGaidren [2013-06-25 04:22:56 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I always try for a good twist, but I always feel like people can see them coming ...

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Rakshiel-MoGaidren In reply to illuminara [2013-06-25 04:30:18 +0000 UTC]

Naw. That's only because you can see it in your head (you be the one writing it after all) I have had the same problem, until someone asked me why something was the way it was. I hadn't explained it, but I felt it was obvious. It's an artist thing. Just keep doing what you do, it is gold (DLD after all)

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illuminara In reply to Rakshiel-MoGaidren [2013-06-25 13:42:11 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, that's true. It's still a weird feeling ... but I guess that's why you need lovely beta readers to let you know what you need to work out. Good luck with your writing!

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Rakshiel-MoGaidren In reply to illuminara [2013-06-25 13:46:19 +0000 UTC]

Why yes, yes you do. I happen to be graced by one myself. And he kicks my ass when I need it.

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illuminara In reply to Rakshiel-MoGaidren [2013-06-25 16:15:53 +0000 UTC]

That's awesome. I need to get one.

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TheGalleryOfEve [2013-06-25 02:14:47 +0000 UTC]

Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!!

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illuminara In reply to TheGalleryOfEve [2013-06-25 04:16:06 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! Those are some glorious emoticons!

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TheGalleryOfEve In reply to illuminara [2013-06-25 19:18:22 +0000 UTC]

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Trillatia [2013-06-24 20:42:46 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing - I look forward to all further endeavors!

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illuminara In reply to Trillatia [2013-06-25 04:14:53 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! After this, I'll definitely have to write more.

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Trillatia In reply to illuminara [2013-06-26 01:45:18 +0000 UTC]

I can't wait!

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scribblesinnias [2013-06-24 20:22:06 +0000 UTC]

That is awesome!

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illuminara In reply to scribblesinnias [2013-06-25 04:15:13 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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TheWhitePriestess [2013-06-24 20:12:47 +0000 UTC]

Your descriptions are beautiful, particularly that of the laughing child.

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