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jensengirlnc — Chip: Chapter 1
Published: 2012-06-01 23:41:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 103; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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Description In the first raid, they took twelve people. Three of them I knew personally. Mrs. Hatley who lived next store to us and her daughter, little Nadia, were taken in the dead of night. Nadia was only five and I had known her her whole life. It was horrid.  Their small empty house haunted the town with its emptiness and silence.

The other was Tyler, my best friend and boyfriend. We lived together in a small, quaint house on the outskirts of town with my brother, Hayden. They were the best company anyone could have had. I remember cool, summer evenings when we would sit on the porch make up silly games just to pass the time, laughing and joking together.  We were a good team, the three of us. The growing artist, the odd actor, and the learning musician. I loved to sit and watch Tyler learn to play a new song. In a place of little technology it kept his interest for hours on end.  He knew how to decipher the dots and lines in a way I never could.



Tyler, too, was ripped away from me in the dead of night. I woke that night to the sound of him yelling and quickly I ran to his room next to mine, but it was too late. He was gagged and tied kneeling on the ground. The officer, dressed in starched white, had his thick, brown hair in one hand as he forced him into a standing position. Tyler bit into the gag in pain, then looked up and saw me standing in the doorway. His eyes  locked with mine and he shook his head furiously. The officer followed his gaze and laughed harshly, "A girl? I thought you were the only rat living in this house?"

"Let him go!" I blurted out about to rush at him when I felt an arm pull me back. I screamed and Tyler tried to rush toward me but the officer pulled back his hair again and he cried out in pain, muffled still by the gag. I whipped around to see Hayden  holding me back. "Don't. You can't win this," I heard him say as he held me back.

"Now listen!" the officer yelled, "I'm only ordered to take one of you filthy animals but if anyone makes trouble I'm sure I can fit one more inside the truck," he tugged on Tyler's hair again just to hear him groan, "Any volunteers?" he finished locking eyes with me with a slight smile. Hayden answered for me in a small voice, "No sir."

"All right then. We will just be leaving. Don't stir up trouble, miss. You won't like the outcome." And with that the man dragged Tyler out of the room and down the hallway. "No!" I sobbed trying with all my might to get out of Hayden's grip.

Tyler managed to turn around just barely, his gag now slipping a bit from the struggle. "Hayden! Take care of her! Don't let her-" but he never finished. A guard took the butt of his gun and connected it with Tyler's temple. His knees crumpled to the floor as the man laughed harshly. They hoisted his body into the truck and slammed the doors driving away just as quickly and silently as they had came.

Hayden nodded solemnly, understanding the meaning of Tyler's plea, then turned and walked back to his room.

I stood there frozen. What was I supposed to do? I turned and walked into the
living room, all of the fight sucked out of me. I was Dry, hopeless, and empty . I sat down on the couch and cried desperately. Cursing, I threw things at the wall only to  collapse into heavy sobs. Hayden did not bother to comfort me, and I don't blame him for this. It's almost impossible to comfort someone who's heart has been ripped out and trampled on.
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Comments: 6

ArmieRivitts [2012-06-02 00:45:07 +0000 UTC]

This is getting exciting. Seriously.


It's occurred to me that you're not posting these in the introductions and chapters area of the literature section. xDD
Also, OXFORD COMMA Y U NO USE IT???
(And figure out how to cut the chapters here? What?)

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jensengirlnc In reply to ArmieRivitts [2012-06-02 00:59:04 +0000 UTC]

Ha um.. Huh?
OHHH I started in the short story not thinking I was gonna continue and then just clicked the same thing his time Ooops.
And I have no grammar skills.
And Well I just like wrote not really splitting it up in my notebook so when I post it here I'm trying to put it into more chapters

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ArmieRivitts In reply to jensengirlnc [2012-06-02 01:03:48 +0000 UTC]

Okay, the chapter thing makes sense now. xD

The oxford comma is amazing. You should use it. OR JUST LET ME BETA FOR YOU.

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jensengirlnc In reply to ArmieRivitts [2012-06-02 01:22:21 +0000 UTC]

lol okay fine I'm pretty sure you're the only one who reads these anyway Is it possible to email them to you then you like do corrections in red? Just so I can see?

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ArmieRivitts In reply to jensengirlnc [2012-06-02 01:28:14 +0000 UTC]

I can totally do that. I'll send my email in a note.

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jensengirlnc In reply to ArmieRivitts [2012-06-02 01:29:23 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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