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Description
And now for some bonus content.

I found this meme by way of *Nintendo-Nut1 's take thereon, and being a fellow Homestuck fan decided to do my own spin on it. What follows is my commentary on each of the subtitles I chose. (Spoilers ahead, read at own risk!)

Aradia - DAT WHEELCHAIR: Had nothing better to use, so I gave her some pupils leering enviously at Tavros's wheelchair.
Tavros - Don Quixote's bastard kid: Tavros wields a lance and is overly romantic. Quixote wields a lance, is overly romantic, and fights windmills. I think there's a subtle connection between the two.
Sollux - Double "Demon Horns" (\m/ \m/): When I first saw this guy, I though he would out of nowhere give me that gesture with both hands, but as a nod to his horns. Also, flames would have shot out of said horns.
Karkat - I'd give him a lozenge.: His throat must hurt from all that shouting.
Nepeta - Nepettanko and Vriska - HUGE BOOBS BLUH BLUH: At one point, I imagined the female trolls as drawn by *Jcdr , where Vriska would get all the cleavage (all of it), and Nepeta would have a flat chest. Only Vriska would be drawn in non-chibi mode.
Kanaya - The Virgin Cayman: When I read that Kanaya had a chainsaw/lipstick for a weapon, I immediately thought of Jack Cayman from MadWorld, who also used a chainsaw. As a bonus, both Virgin and Cayman are names of chains of islands.
Terezi - Blindness ain't no thing: Terezi is just as capable of moving normally when blind as she was with perfect vision. That's all there is to say on the matter.
Equius - Just a moirail. Nothing more.: Considering that all Equius did outside of giving Aradia her robo-body was to dick around and spend quality time with Nepeta before his untimely, fetishized death, he's not that much of a character compared to the others.
Gamzee - Totally not Wolverine: His face paint seemed to remind me first of him, then of the ICP.
Eridan - Wwhat's "sleep"?: His eyes look like he spent all day trying to make out with other trolls (and failing) rather than getting some proper rest.
Feferi - Her ancestor was the Witch of Death: Because anyone who has her minions slaughter countless alien races and conquer their lands deserves such a title.

John - DERP: Yes. Oh so much.
Rose - Jade (and vice versa): While their names fit their color schemes, they seem to be ironic to their general dispositions (or at least only Rose's is now).
Dave - Birdhair: After an infamous oversight on the part of just about the whole fandom (?), where a new reader pointed out on an image board how Dave's hair looked a lot like a bird if one looked closely.

Lil' Cal - Lil' CaaaaaAAAAAAああああああああああ: There are no words for the terror a simple dummy could produce. Especially one born from the mind of a psycho alien clown, and one who himself would create a demonic, albeit civilized, First Guardian.

WV - Mayor Sidewaysface: Maybe it's because of the robes, but I can never get it out of my head that WV is always facing to the side instead of towards us.
PM - Sgt. Cornucopia: Look at her hood. Doesn't it look suspiciously like a cornucopia? And what about that mailman's cap that could just as easily be an army man's hat?
AR - Judge Dredd(ful Aim): He may be the Law, but he is no Annie Oakley.
WQ - She is the King.: I always think that the less hair a female has, the more masculine she is (it probably doesn't help that I try to give any female I draw long hair). Since WQ is effectively bald, being a chess piece, this had to happen.

Jack/Bec Noir/SS - Bec-tsuho NoiReiuji: After a certain Tou-Homestuck mashup fanart: [link]
CD - Rainbow Pimp Gear, Inc.: Seriously, just look at him. He could make a fortune selling this stuff! He just needs to find the right audience....
HB - What luck?: In the Problem Sleuth vs. Midnight Crew bonus, Hearts Boxcars is described as being able to always roll Boxcars (sixes on dice), hence the name and the supposition that he's very lucky. However, in the Intermission, he seems to have lost it all, what with being at the mercy of Eggs and Biscuits, and having been clocked to an old calendar by Cans. Maybe Clover siphoned it out of him and gave it to Vriska?
DD - Spades Slick?: For some reason, I used to confuse DD with SS.

Nannasprite - If Homestuck were a manga, she'd be a kitsune. And a geisha.: This assumes that we're looking at an alternate story set in Japan, of course.
Jaspersprite - Cathulhu: No other pun would suffice.
Davesprite - The Yatagarasu: See the reasoning behind Nannasprite.
Jadesprite - Emo McGee: I still can't get over the fact that she made herself useless in Jade's eyes. Maybe if she reverts into having Bec's mind....Naaaah, probably late at this point.

Doc Scratch - Let us make a contract.: He reminds me so much of Kyubey that I actually put the weasel's face on him.
Snowman - "Hold still, Slick. Something in your eye.": This line, and the following action, were what sold her to me. Nothing like a little hate-flirting to start your night right.

Dad - Has FOUR Lungs. and Mom - Has TWO Livers.: I wonder why their health hasn't already deteriorated when they were smoking and drinking so much, respectively. Even with the Occam's Razor option (they don't really do it that much), I prefer going with the option that they have spare organs just for that.
Bro - HIS DRILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL ahh you know the rest.: Obvious Kamina reference is obvious.
Bec - First Guardian Amaterasu: They both have white fur and a connection to a sun. The only things missing for Bec are the Divine Instruments and Red (or Neon Green?) markings.
Grandpa - Hass Harley, CEO: Not just a reference to his Fanon name, but also to the fact that he inherited Betty Crocker's business.
Col. Sassacre - : I just flat out couldn't think of anything fitting for him that didn't reference Twain.

Maplehoof - Hoofbeast: Troll terminology had never been so fun before.
Casey/Salamander - Panic-flavored Bubblegum: All salamanders have those "spit bubbles" they blow when agitated. They happened to look a lot like bubblegum to me, thus.
Crocodile - MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME: Pretty much my first impression of those consorts, other than the nakking.
Mutie - Nice forehead tattoo.: Yes, I thought that Mutie had a tattoo on her forehead before I found out those were her other two eyes.

And finally, Andrew Hussie - The only good troll. EVER.: Normally, I'd be pissed if I were relentlessly trolled, but Hussie does a good job of telling a deep story yet also using postmodernism to his great advantage, "trolling" the reader's expectations. He's the reason Homestuck is as awesome as it can get, if not more so.

Meme (c) (And can be found here: [link] )
Homestuck (c) Andrew Hussie and MSPA

Description
And now for some bonus content.

I found this meme by way of *Nintendo-Nut1 's take thereon, and being a fellow Homestuck fan decided to do my own spin on it. What follows is my commentary on each of the subtitles I chose. (Spoilers ahead, read at own risk!)

Aradia - DAT WHEELCHAIR: Had nothing better to use, so I gave her some pupils leering enviously at Tavros's wheelchair.
Tavros - Don Quixote's bastard kid: Tavros wields a lance and is overly romantic. Quixote wields a lance, is overly romantic, and fights windmills. I think there's a subtle connection between the two.
Sollux - Double "Demon Horns" (\m/ \m/): When I first saw this guy, I though he would out of nowhere give me that gesture with both hands, but as a nod to his horns. Also, flames would have shot out of said horns.
Karkat - I'd give him a lozenge.: His throat must hurt from all that shouting.
Nepeta - Nepettanko and Vriska - HUGE BOOBS BLUH BLUH: At one point, I imagined the female trolls as drawn by *Jcdr , where Vriska would get all the cleavage (all of it), and Nepeta would have a flat chest. Only Vriska would be drawn in non-chibi mode.
Kanaya - The Virgin Cayman: When I read that Kanaya had a chainsaw/lipstick for a weapon, I immediately thought of Jack Cayman from MadWorld, who also used a chainsaw. As a bonus, both Virgin and Cayman are names of chains of islands.
Terezi - Blindness ain't no thing: Terezi is just as capable of moving normally when blind as she was with perfect vision. That's all there is to say on the matter.
Equius - Just a moirail. Nothing more.: Considering that all Equius did outside of giving Aradia her robo-body was to dick around and spend quality time with Nepeta before his untimely, fetishized death, he's not that much of a character compared to the others.
Gamzee - Totally not Wolverine: His face paint seemed to remind me first of him, then of the ICP.
Eridan - Wwhat's "sleep"?: His eyes look like he spent all day trying to make out with other trolls (and failing) rather than getting some proper rest.
Feferi - Her ancestor was the Witch of Death: Because anyone who has her minions slaughter countless alien races and conquer their lands deserves such a title.

John - DERP: Yes. Oh so much.
Rose - Jade (and vice versa): While their names fit their color schemes, they seem to be ironic to their general dispositions (or at least only Rose's is now).
Dave - Birdhair: After an infamous oversight on the part of just about the whole fandom (?), where a new reader pointed out on an image board how Dave's hair looked a lot like a bird if one looked closely.

Lil' Cal - Lil' CaaaaaAAAAAAああああああああああ: There are no words for the terror a simple dummy could produce. Especially one born from the mind of a psycho alien clown, and one who himself would create a demonic, albeit civilized, First Guardian.

WV - Mayor Sidewaysface: Maybe it's because of the robes, but I can never get it out of my head that WV is always facing to the side instead of towards us.
PM - Sgt. Cornucopia: Look at her hood. Doesn't it look suspiciously like a cornucopia? And what about that mailman's cap that could just as easily be an army man's hat?
AR - Judge Dredd(ful Aim): He may be the Law, but he is no Annie Oakley.
WQ - She is the King.: I always think that the less hair a female has, the more masculine she is (it probably doesn't help that I try to give any female I draw long hair). Since WQ is effectively bald, being a chess piece, this had to happen.

Jack/Bec Noir/SS - Bec-tsuho NoiReiuji: After a certain Tou-Homestuck mashup fanart: [link]
CD - Rainbow Pimp Gear, Inc.: Seriously, just look at him. He could make a fortune selling this stuff! He just needs to find the right audience....
HB - What luck?: In the Problem Sleuth vs. Midnight Crew bonus, Hearts Boxcars is described as being able to always roll Boxcars (sixes on dice), hence the name and the supposition that he's very lucky. However, in the Intermission, he seems to have lost it all, what with being at the mercy of Eggs and Biscuits, and having been clocked to an old calendar by Cans. Maybe Clover siphoned it out of him and gave it to Vriska?
DD - Spades Slick?: For some reason, I used to confuse DD with SS.

Nannasprite - If Homestuck were a manga, she'd be a kitsune. And a geisha.: This assumes that we're looking at an alternate story set in Japan, of course.
Jaspersprite - Cathulhu: No other pun would suffice.
Davesprite - The Yatagarasu: See the reasoning behind Nannasprite.
Jadesprite - Emo McGee: I still can't get over the fact that she made herself useless in Jade's eyes. Maybe if she reverts into having Bec's mind....Naaaah, probably late at this point.

Doc Scratch - Let us make a contract.: He reminds me so much of Kyubey that I actually put the weasel's face on him.
Snowman - "Hold still, Slick. Something in your eye.": This line, and the following action, were what sold her to me. Nothing like a little hate-flirting to start your night right.

Dad - Has FOUR Lungs. and Mom - Has TWO Livers.: I wonder why their health hasn't already deteriorated when they were smoking and drinking so much, respectively. Even with the Occam's Razor option (they don't really do it that much), I prefer going with the option that they have spare organs just for that.
Bro - HIS DRILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL ahh you know the rest.: Obvious Kamina reference is obvious.
Bec - First Guardian Amaterasu: They both have white fur and a connection to a sun. The only things missing for Bec are the Divine Instruments and Red (or Neon Green?) markings.
Grandpa - Hass Harley, CEO: Not just a reference to his Fanon name, but also to the fact that he inherited Betty Crocker's business.
Col. Sassacre - : I just flat out couldn't think of anything fitting for him that didn't reference Twain.

Maplehoof - Hoofbeast: Troll terminology had never been so fun before.
Casey/Salamander - Panic-flavored Bubblegum: All salamanders have those "spit bubbles" they blow when agitated. They happened to look a lot like bubblegum to me, thus.
Crocodile - MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME: Pretty much my first impression of those consorts, other than the nakking.
Mutie - Nice forehead tattoo.: Yes, I thought that Mutie had a tattoo on her forehead before I found out those were her other two eyes.

And finally, Andrew Hussie - The only good troll. EVER.: Normally, I'd be pissed if I were relentlessly trolled, but Hussie does a good job of telling a deep story yet also using postmodernism to his great advantage, "trolling" the reader's expectations. He's the reason Homestuck is as awesome as it can get, if not more so.

Meme (c) (And can be found here: [link] )
Homestuck (c) Andrew Hussie and MSPA