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Jzoid β TG Cap 1
Published: 2013-10-03 15:23:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 6339; Favourites: 54; Downloads: 70
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Description
Hey guys my first ever TG Caption =ORelated content
Comments: 6
Sorry for the late reply.
I don't know just the background I gave him I got 2 maybe 4 things that I could add, if you feel like suggest why 
1) Sexist?
2) Gay?
3) Or maybe he thinks males are superiour?
4) Or maybe he just had a bad experience as a kid with them, turned down alot?
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You've got a lot of comma-related errors in your sentence structures. The most common and most annoying to see are the areas where you started a whole new sentence but used a comma without following any of the six basic comma rules when you should have used a period(".") instead. To fix this, you'd either need to research proper English "punctuation" or get someone proficient in that area to proofread/edit the story text for you.
Other than that, you seem to have the right idea in terms of writing a caption story, including a fairly-decent description of the TG transformation itself, which, in these kinds of pieces, tends to be the most important element. IΒ applaud you for your taste in caption images as well. Just take my advice above for the next one and I'm sure you'll do well.
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Sorry English isin't my first language
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