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k-d-t — Let's Talk About: Asexuality by-nc-sa

Published: 2011-06-19 11:54:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 25240; Favourites: 311; Downloads: 3029
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Description Please, feel free to download this to use for raising awareness. This is an updated version - thanks to everyone who gave me helpful suggestions!

Also in Spanish: [link]
(If you would like to see this in your language, please feel free to send me the translated text, and I will arrange it for you.)

Hello, everybody! I've not been on dA much recently (that university thing takes up more of my time that I could have thought). But I'm dipping back in today to see what you think of this.

I intended this as a poster to introduce the concept of asexuality, which a vast majority of people know nothing about.
The information is mostly inspired by/paraphrased from AVEN , which is a brilliant site that I reccommend you investigate.

I'd love to know what you think of this poster.
Is it too crowded? Just right?
If you hadn't heard of asexuality before, has it been informative?
If you identify as asexual, is there anything you think I've put badly, or missed out?


Edit: Thank you very much for all the comments - I haven't had this much feedback on a piece for a long time, if ever, and I really didn't expect this one to get any attention. I appreciate it
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Comments: 154

Gearsteal-Prime In reply to ??? [2021-01-15 13:21:39 +0000 UTC]

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Agent064Pixels [2017-10-15 08:09:54 +0000 UTC]

Domovina  

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Angelinia In reply to Agent064Pixels [2017-10-15 08:17:06 +0000 UTC]

thank you <33
i feel so happy when i see ppl who support sexuality because i'm not alone--

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DQVOID [2017-09-03 10:16:36 +0000 UTC]

nicely done good job

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MerylDannLyell [2017-08-29 11:40:55 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!!

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EnforcerWolf [2016-09-23 16:25:32 +0000 UTC]

This explains my feelings so much better than I can verbally articulate. 

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MeAndMyIdeas In reply to EnforcerWolf [2017-03-11 04:08:47 +0000 UTC]

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Kayisok [2014-12-07 23:23:03 +0000 UTC]

wow, I want to show this to my fam, but I don't got the guts;

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Frogget [2014-10-07 11:38:00 +0000 UTC]

So, Asexual Awareness Week is coming up and it would be really awesome if I could use this as part of a little information campaign I'm trying to put together for my school!! My own design skills are literally non-existent so it would be awesome if I could make use of your wonderful poster. :3 

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unicornomics [2014-08-06 16:00:29 +0000 UTC]

I'm not trying to offend anyone but I'm curious,typically (I know everyone's different) does someone know they're asexual before or after having sex for the first time?

Again,just curious

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Quoth143 In reply to unicornomics [2015-03-26 19:43:46 +0000 UTC]

I think it's different for everybody. From my own experience, I honestly never felt physically attracted to people and therefore never sought it out. Even when I saw a really good looking person, it would just remain that; they were a really good looking person. No feelings of wanting to get in bed with them or anything. 

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Perceri In reply to unicornomics [2014-10-14 21:43:24 +0000 UTC]

I am only speaking for myself so do not take this as the one true explanation for this but, for me, I have never had sex. I do not hold any interest it nor do I ever look at a person and feel sexually drawn to them like some people do when they see a beautiful model or actor/ess. I do make comments about how beautiful a person is but when I say those things, I am speaking as I would if I remarked on how beautiful the statue of David is. 

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midnightlunarose In reply to unicornomics [2014-08-24 08:13:55 +0000 UTC]

It's mostly after having sex but, it can occur before.

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k-a-lee [2014-07-29 22:37:03 +0000 UTC]

You kind of threw aromantics under the bus there. Aromantics, while they may not feel romantic attraction (by the way, romantic attraction is not  the same as love), they still are capable of deep, or intimate relationships. 

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Silentmania [2014-04-25 08:17:14 +0000 UTC]

You covered it k-d-t! It's just right.

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SteviRyoku [2014-03-16 16:17:59 +0000 UTC]

It's nice that you added the link to AVEN on the bottom of this also.. another thought, regarding the "if you havn't tried it, you dont know what you're missing." Someone once told me that "you don't have to jump in the water to know you don't like sharks." Basically saying.. you don't have to do the act to know that you don't desire it.

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Roxya237 [2014-03-16 15:38:48 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!I am asexual and 15 years old and this makes me feel better about myself

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CelticKawaii [2014-03-02 22:37:59 +0000 UTC]

Why does it come as a shock to everyone that aces can feel romantic attraction?! That's not the same thing as sex! Has no one heard of the four loves? So because I just prefer not to bang, I certainly would never risk my life for someone else, right? And of course, if I do risk my life for another, I'm hoping 'If I survive this, we are so getting it on later!'
Okay, kind of went a little nuts there, but...yeah, it aggravates me.

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557M [2013-08-13 23:20:14 +0000 UTC]

This is awesome. You've done an excellent job of presenting the facts and shooting down the objections in a clear and concise way. Many thanks, and kudos!

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Mawichan [2013-07-30 01:49:37 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much for this. Sometimes I wonder if I am one myself, but I'll stop putting much thought into it and I'll just see what happens later (because I have reasons to think I am and reasons to think I am not)


But I needed this info since I have a character who I think is/will write as asexual and I'll look it up to do my best to get it right. (I wouldn't want to offend anyone) 

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kelpiehunterkai [2013-07-13 05:08:04 +0000 UTC]

I had only heard of this once, and when I did, It made so much sense. Sometimes I wonder if I am. I've never really been attracted to anyone. People think I'm wierd, but I'm incredibly happy alone. So this would explain quite a few things XD

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Brightcynder [2013-05-13 00:32:05 +0000 UTC]

Too true!

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crown-n-thistle [2013-04-28 20:09:48 +0000 UTC]

Awesome :3
Thank you!

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dhxjcrd [2013-04-21 12:23:36 +0000 UTC]

Question: Can you be asexual, and still feel intense love for another person? Like, kissing, cuddling, making out and such, but not want the sex-part (Where the guy puts his pee-pee into her kitteh) and such? Or is it just completely not wanting anything to do with that sort? Or is there another term for that?
And great stuff you've done. It's pretty informative.

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Gearsteal-Prime In reply to dhxjcrd [2021-01-15 13:24:01 +0000 UTC]

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k-d-t In reply to dhxjcrd [2013-05-09 21:05:04 +0000 UTC]

Sorry this reply is so late! You might want to check out the ace communities on AVEN, Reddit or Tumblr for more response, but I'll try answer. Basically, afaik, you can certainly be ace and feel love. There are actually terms such as a-/hetero-/homo-/bi-/pan-romantic that people use to describe whether they feel romantic attraction, and there are asexual people who identify as all of those. There are also some ideas like aesthetic and sensual attraction, which get used to describe attraction based purely on physical beauty or touch. Overall, though, the attitude is mostly "do you feel like you're asexual? then you're asexual" - no other qualifying characteristics. (I know, it's frustrating sometimes - I definitely sometimes feel like I just want someone to tell me a label and to be that.)

In short, yes! It's up to you. But there are other words around, if you want to look into them.

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dhxjcrd In reply to k-d-t [2013-05-09 21:24:33 +0000 UTC]

No problem
Yeah, I'll do that. Or maybe it's s Grey Area thing? Or perhaps the age, or just a phase. Well, I guess I'll find out eventually. And yeah, labels can both be frustrating and lovely. Well, I'll just throw away some of the labels: I am what I am. If you don't like what I am, or do not feel for the way I am, your loss.

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AkirasGaarathichian In reply to dhxjcrd [2013-04-29 20:23:41 +0000 UTC]

I've personally heard people identify as asexual with those terms you've mentioned above, however it's up to you in the end if you'd like to adopt that as your sexuality. Asexuality is usually defined as not feeling a desire for sexual intercourse in general, though pleasure can be felt and such, though not always.. it's kind of complicated..?? sorry haha I may have just confused you ><;;

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dhxjcrd In reply to AkirasGaarathichian [2013-04-30 05:16:51 +0000 UTC]

No, I'm not confused at all . It's just that I wouldn't want myself to find my indetity as an asexual, if it isn't true. I mean, there are romantic asexuals, so maybe I could research a bit there. But thanks for your help. <3

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XxAnimeWolfxX [2013-04-04 08:32:09 +0000 UTC]

This. ^^^

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skeletorfight [2013-02-05 10:46:02 +0000 UTC]

Trust me, your poster is perfect and accurate I love that someone eventually speaks up on a subject rarely (if never) talked about and mistaken for "chastity". You can't even imagine how many times I've heard that "just need to find the right person" and, being sex a bit overrated in our society, its true that many asexuals feel like freaks of nature; hence they hate themselves .
It's important to shed light on this matter because people lacking sexual attraction are showered with advices/opinions that seem sensible and convincing and they can end up in relationships with someone they love who actually feels sexual attraction. The result is the asexual person feels guilty, worthless and kind of a liar
This post moved me to the core and I can't thank you enough for it. I don't know how to add emoticons but it would be the green one sorrounded by hearts ♥

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k-d-t In reply to skeletorfight [2013-03-21 17:22:47 +0000 UTC]

I'm so glad you like it! It's great to know that people are helped by this.

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skeletorfight In reply to k-d-t [2013-03-25 05:42:29 +0000 UTC]

I'm also delighted by the number of feedbacks your poster received *claps hands* ))

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Melancholy-Spiral [2012-08-28 20:04:46 +0000 UTC]

This is perfect! Thank you so much for this!

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k-d-t In reply to Melancholy-Spiral [2012-09-01 17:26:07 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

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Stormflower-x [2012-06-26 19:02:21 +0000 UTC]

"She's not straight. She just hasn't met the right girl yet."
lol, I loved how you put that. XD

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Annie-O [2012-06-23 05:29:00 +0000 UTC]

Ohhhh, you got no idea how much i LOVED this!!!!! I'm one of them.... where sexuality doesn't really matters at all. Yay for the freedom from that bondage. For very long i've stated that i came to this world a virgin and as a virgin i'm planning to leave. Virginity is NOT a sin or a disease, there's no real reason of WHY should we 'remove' it.

I think it's very good, people need to know about other type of persons, that trail away from what society calls as 'normal'.

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PheonixReaper [2012-06-02 19:01:28 +0000 UTC]

*enthusiastic clapping* Couldn't have put it better myself! If I ever manage to get over my social phobia enough to try to raise asexual awareness in my community, this would be the back bone of the campaign! (I'm actually really hoping to do some awareness-raising thing, but I'm so intrapersonal that it hurts... v.v)

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samuchan [2012-05-24 05:44:50 +0000 UTC]

Thank-you! I am asexual and this poster is amazingly well put together. If I could (and had the money) I would so print this out and hand it to people when I get asked about my sexuality and then give that blank stare when I tell them that I am asexual and end up spending about 10-20 minutes trying to explain what it means. Very nice!

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k-d-t In reply to samuchan [2012-05-24 08:03:42 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome! I'm glad you like it!

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Dark-N-Wolf [2012-04-03 13:20:02 +0000 UTC]

I like it!

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Jillianimal [2012-03-14 18:21:10 +0000 UTC]

This is AWESOME. Do you have this in any other languages? Or maybe know someone who accurately translate it?

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k-d-t In reply to Jillianimal [2012-03-14 19:01:03 +0000 UTC]

I'm afraid I haven't got this translated, and my foreign language skills aren't up to translating it, but if anyone happened to want to translate it, I'd be completely ok with that. If there's ever a translated version, I'll try and remember to let you know.

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Jillianimal In reply to k-d-t [2012-05-13 14:18:21 +0000 UTC]

I talked to GoblinPrincess about it being in Spanish & she fixed my tranlsation form google. Here's how it came out:

Vamos a hablar de asexualidad

La asexualidad: la falta de atracción sexual hacia otras personas
¿Ha oído hablar de ella antes? Lo más probable es que no. Así que vamos a hablar de ella ahora.

Entonces, es como el celibato o la abstinencia?
En pocas palabras, no. Esas dos son elecciones conscientes, pero la asexualidad es una orientación sexual. Y que alguien sea asexual no significa que nunca vaya a tener sexo.

Pero si alguien tiene relaciones sexuales, seguro que no es asexual...
Si un hombre homosexual tiene relaciones sexuales con una mujer, ¿le hace eso heterosexual? No. Sentirse atraído por alguien, ser capaz de sentir placer sexual y el deseo de tener relaciones sexuales son tres cosas muy diferentes.

¿Pueden los asexuales enamorarse?
Sí, pueden hacerlo. La atracción romántica y la sexual son dos cosas distintas. Si bien algunas personas pueden ser arománticas a la vez que asexuales, otros tienen citas y buscan parejas a largo plazo.

Eso es una tontería. Sólo tienen que probarlo o encontrar a la persona adecuada.
"Ella no es heterosexual, es sólo que no ha encontrado a la chica adecuada todavía." La mayoría de las personas no necesitan tener sexo para saber si se sienten atraídos por el sexo opuesto o del mismo. Por lo tanto, tampoco tiene sentido decir que alguien simplemente no puede saber si es o no es asexual.

Ok, acepto todo lo anterior. Pero ¿por qué debería importarme?
Debido a que la sexualidad es tan importante en nuestra cultura, es común que los asexuales, que constituyen un porcentaje muy pequeño de la sociedad, a menudo se sientan aislados o solos, e incluso llegan a pensar que les sucede algo malo que deben "corregir" o "curar". Aumentar la visibilidad de la asexualidad e informar al público general ayuda a los asexuales a sentirse cómodos consigo mismos y les permite ser abiertos acerca de sus sentimientos sin temor a la estigmatización o la alienación.

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k-d-t In reply to Jillianimal [2012-05-13 22:07:43 +0000 UTC]

Having said I'd get round to it, I decided tonight's revision could take a running jump. Spanish version, right here [link]
Thanks again.

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Jillianimal In reply to k-d-t [2012-05-14 13:58:18 +0000 UTC]

Awesome!

I was thinking maybe the "www.asexuality.org" at the bottom should be changed to "www.asexuality.org/sp/" or at least that one should be added so that they'll understand the link.

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k-d-t In reply to Jillianimal [2012-05-16 16:47:59 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, very good point. Thank you!

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k-d-t In reply to Jillianimal [2012-05-13 21:22:18 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much! I'm in my exam term at uni right now, but I've copied this down and I'll try to get a translated version up soon.

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bookwormgypsy [2012-03-11 03:20:51 +0000 UTC]

I feel like this poster really hits all the important points, clearly and concisely. I also really like how someone who had never heard of this before could conceivably work from top to bottom a get a really practical education. Thank you so much for sharing your talent and effort.

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k-d-t In reply to bookwormgypsy [2012-03-11 14:25:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much for the feedback - I'm glad that you like it!

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