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k1773r — meh...
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Published: 2005-09-05 10:53:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 76; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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first of all, an apology my love,as i know i should not say these things alowed but im fed up with caring anymore, im fed up of having to consider some one elses feelings before my own! well for once im putting myself first!
i spoke to your boyfriend last night. He annoyed me so much i just wanted to die! and all becouse i told him how i felt about you, my dear.
when i told him i thought you were the one, he said i think just about everyone is. When i told him i was willing to jump out of that fucking window just so you would shut up about him for one second and listen to what i would like to have siad. he said that i was just being paranoid.
Its just that, that i love you.
i know i say that alot, but i love your more than i could ever say. And now im getting pissed off with films and books for stealing all the romantic lines! but i love evry thing about you, the way you softly push your bottom lip through clenched teeth, The way you smile at the most dishartening things.
the way i dream about holding you and whispering into your ear as we look at each other, laying still on a bed..."will you marry me"
you always tell me "but im with him now" and that line always breaks my heart.
my omther told me that you cant have everything you want..well i will sacrafice anything just for a kiss from those rosey lips and to hold your hand for a second
i know i sound bizzar and a bit sad considering im like 14! but thats how i feel about you and the only thing that can take that away from me is death and if he comes for one of us im ganna knock his fucking balls off!
now you probably wont ever want to see or talk to me again so i may as well go back to my misserable life before we meet, before i realised this passionate mayhem known as love, but it will be as hard as hell and i will never stop thinking of you.
im sorry..i .love you i wish i never had as it just makes things worse
goodbye...Rochelle
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Comments: 10
Favourited.
As for wheys... Idiot would be kind.
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"Erm..for the record..most of the conversation with me, didnt actually happen
You never said you'd jump out of a window...and I spoke to you today..
And Phil? I don't care if you love her...just don't try and fuck it up"
I DONT KNOW BEANS IM NOT WONDERWOMAN!
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well hello there mr Im-so-politicly-correct i do belive that you didnt read the little artists comment did you
plot - couldnt care less my life has been abit ballsed up and thats about it! this was not ment for many eyes infact i only wanted one to read this
emotion - i didnt want to put this in fictional but they dont have what i require in non
spelling & grammer - woopty doo jack ass i dont really care about spelling as this was a bit of a good bye to my loved one and i couldnt be bothered to make it all perfect for you!
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How...romantic. It's about as good as can be expected for a teen romance piece.
l'll give you my rating.
Plot: 5 of 10. While your plot is interesting, it's not well developed, and it sounds more like something you should've shared with the person to whom you've addressed this piece. deviantART is not the place for personal love or hate letters. On the other hand, it could be considered romantic in a teenage way--the part about marriage, for instance.
Emotion: 7 of 10. Here's the part whrein you did very well. There are many well expressed emotions in this piece. They are a little unclear and rather exaggerated, but if that's the way this "fictional" person feels, sure, why not.
Diction, Spelling, & Grammar: 1 of 10. I apologize for this rating, but you need to check the spelling and grammar before you post a piece here! If it's not completed and your best work, then this should be in your Scraps. Can you spell and capitalize words? Yes. Get a spell-checker if you cannot. The grammar isn't the worst that I've seen. Diction also needs work. Choose some more expressive words instead of using the same ones.
And that is my fair review--containing both good and bad.
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thanks peff means alot! 
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hey, you, back off. leave the guy alone okay? I had the same trouble with a guy and i'm about ready to cut my own throat because i become so choked up in tears its hard to beathe. you don't even half way understand what he feels. Killer, man... I know exactly what you feel and I feel that pain day by day... some girl stole a guy from me who I thought was my everything and now nothing between us is right........ because of her. I know we aren't best friends but in the past i always wanted to be good friends with you because i can relate to alot of what you feel. i know this is long and sappy and you probably don't give shit, but i'm willing to talk and comfort, and i'm sorry that you lost the girl you love, truely I am. I know it hurts and oyu just want to give up, you don't want anyone else but that one certain person. it's painful, I know, and the pain doesn't ease until it gets worse, look, if you need to talk or to just yell and scream, slur up spit and cuss feel free to send a note to me letting it all out, it helps a little bit. but killer, man, really, i almost cried while reading that because i know exactly what you feel, and i'm really sorry you have to feel like that, (i feel liek a retard because i'm saying the same thing over and over in a differnt way so i'll just stfu)
-Shel "Peff"
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Erm..for the record..most of the conversation with me, didnt actually happen
You never said you'd jump out of a window...and I spoke to you today..
And Phil? I don't care if you love her...just don't try and fuck it up
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if feel like i want to say more..but i shouldnt else i will make you and him even worse
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