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I have something to say, and it won't be easy. Life as we know it is over, that's for sure. This is a new reality and your reality is most probably very different from mine. You see, I am Russian. I am now prepared to be hated, for things I have no control over, for things I don't even now much about, because I'm a civilian, not politician, economist or soldier. I only see it in the news, probably just like you do, but I have the luxury of being able to read BOTH European websites (namely BBC) and Russian ones. You get the information your government wants you to know, we here get the information our government wants us to know. You get the picture of abhorrent Russians murdering civilians in the streets and bombing blocks of flats, we get the picture of an equally abhorrent Ukrainian military using civilians as a life shield and positioning their snipers on the upper floors of blocks of flats.

However you call it, 'special military operation' or plainly war, it is a devastating situation that brings horror and grief, at least this we can agree on. Why did it come to this? Putin says it is to protect the people of Donetsk and Luhansk, who wanted to join Russia since the revolution of 2013 (ever heard of that?) and were facing violence from the Ukrainian side. BBC says it's nothing but Putin's ambition. I don't feel like any of those give the full picture of what is really going on. It might have a lot to do with the expansion of NATO and the threat it poses to Russia's national security. In simpler words: my opinion (based on nothing but history books) is that like so many countries Russia is now at risk of becoming a colony-like subordinate to Britain and the US, who would gladly have their share of Russian resources. Ukraine, as a country situated between NATO and Russia, cannot be independent and neutral, it's bound to be the political or military battleground until one or the other side takes over it.

Reading BBC, I have my questions:

1. Who benefits from keeping the non-military people in the besieged cities? Not Russians, presence of civilians only slows progress of the attack aimed at defeating Ukrainian authorities. You get reports of Russian military stopping the residents from leaving, we get reports of Ukrainian military halting anyone who's willing to leave, especially those willing to leave for Russia, not Europe.

2. Who benefits from the news of “barbarian Russians” bombing children's hospitals? What is the point of bombing a hospital? It is not a military object, its destruction achieves nothing but hate. Where's the benefit in that?

3. The Chernobyl power plant has lost its power, who has cut the power line? Are you sure you know the answer? I am not sure of anything.

4. Finally, I appreciate the professional journalism of saying 'there are many bodies lying in the streets and no-one can carry them' (the emotional impact) along with 'there has been very little footage and few photos to reveal exactly what it's like inside the city' (the fact of having no proof). I have the feeling had there been any proof at all, you would have already seen the worst of it in every gruesome detail.

It's ironic how US and European companies think we here won't be able to survive without Coca Cola or Ikea or H&M. We are sure to face so much worse than that. I was born it the country torn by yet another one of those coups – when I was about 10 my family couldn't afford tomatoes and cucumbers in winter, they were just too expensive. When at 16 I learned from my foreign penpals that it was normal practice to write letters on one side of the paper only and then start another sheet, it was a cultural shock – why would you want to waste a whole clear side? Maybe younger generations can no longer live without the latest iPhone and Steam computer games, future will tell. I'm in my thirties, and even though I know I will get nothing but hate for saying so, I'll say it anyway: I stand with my country, I am not going to immigrate or go to the streets protesting against something I do not understand.

So I guess, more than anything, this is goodbye. I don't think I'll be able to update my gallery any longer, both because of the blockings foreign websites are bound to face in Russia soon and because of the audience who only see one side of the story and will automatically hate me for my nationality combined with my unwillingness to feel ashamed of it.

I wish things were different.

UPDATE as of Sept 25 2022: I've done some research and I feel I'm ready to come back.

And I hope that before you judge me on the basis of what the mainstream Western media tells you about the conflict in Ukraine, you do some research of your own. Here's mine.

1. BBC Newsnight report, 1 Mar 2014: Neo-Nа'zi threat in Ukraine

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SBo0a…

Quote: “One nation, one people, one country. A clean nation. Not like under Hitler, but in our own way, a little bit like that.”

My note: Before 2014 Russian language had been the second official language in some regions of Ukraine (Odesa, Kharkiv, Kherson, Mykolaiv, Zaporizhzhya, Sevastopol, Dnipropetrovsk, Luhansk and Donetsk), while Hungarian, Moldovan and Rumanian had been official second languages in several towns in Western Ukraine. Ethnic minorities that constituted more than 10% of population in a region had been allowed to use their mother tongue in legal contexts in that region. Not anymore.

2. NBC News, 13 Jul 2017: Ukraine's Hyper-Nationalist Military Summer Camp for Kids

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpV16B…

Quotes: "I'm not a nаzi, not a fасist. I'm a nationalist of Ukraine."

"Death, death to Moscovites!"

(presenter) "They are fighting Russian sympathizers. It's not Russian army, it Russian rebels, I suppose, or perhaps even Ukrainian born Russian sympathizers".

My note: Is there any surprise that this kind of policies made people of Eastern Ukraine, who had been speaking Russian all their lives, feel more like they belong to Russia than Ukraine?

3. CBC News, 9 Dec 2019: Inside one of Ukraine's separatist battlegrounds. The war has killed 14,000 people and torn Eastern Ukraine's Donbass region to shreds.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7XiGM…

My note: the presenter calls it 'separatist-held area'. Imagine living somewhere all your life, and yet you don't actually live there, you 'hold' the area. The hopelessness is evident in people's voices: in 2019 they didn't feel like either Ukraine or Russia wanted to have them. (And Russia couldn't interfere in 2014, the sanctions would have ruined Russian economy back then.)

Anne-Laure Bonnel, a French journalist, made a documentary called “Donbass”. Every single French TV channel refused to give it screentime.

4. The US Senator Richard H. Black thoroughly explains the reasons of 2022 war. These videos are long but very worthy of watching:

27 Jun 2022 Richard H. Black - The US and NATO don't care how many Ukrainians die www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXOWZn…

8 Jul 2022 Richard Black: The decision for war was made in US, the decision to attack was made in Russia

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft_8kn…

5. Finally, a note about “Russian war crimes”. From the first day of attack Russian officials were saying that Russian military did not target civilians. 'No', said Western media citing Ukrainian officials, 'you are monsters who target schools, hospitals and residential areas'. Yet on August 4, 2022 Amnesty International published a report (www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news… ) pointing out that Ukrainian military do use schools, hospitals and residential areas. The report was called 'a lie', yet there's solid proof that it's true:

A Canadian soldier who'd fought in Ukraine openly says that his first mission was to go into an apartment building and set up a sniper position from there ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN2Ndi… time: 1:55). In case you are wondering what it's like to have a sniper positioned in your home: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y55wF4… (report by Vittorio Rangeloni). And here you can see ambulances being used to transport Ukrainian military troops: youtu.be/BE-A5xbx6gI A family who escaped from Mariupol tell the interviewer that they were blocked in a basement with another 300 people by Ukrainian army, who used them as a shield against Russians: www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvZg-H… In this video you can see Russian soldiers save civilians trapped in basement by the Ukrainian Аzоv battalion youtu.be/_lsoV_6ZCZc German N-TV viewers could see a swastikа decorating a Ukrainian tank: youtu.be/xF578KmWUZs

There are brave Western journalists who report from the frontline (some started in 2014), look at what they saw and what they've lived through:

Eva K Bartlett (Canada)

Patrick Lancaster (USA)

Graham Phillips (UK)

Anne-Laure Bonnel (France)

And here is a discussion that has more names of independent journalists in the comment section: www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0H7PI…

There are no saints in wars. But before you call Russia a nа'zi country (and I've seen Sky News already say so!) that invades its neighbors for no reason, do your own research.

The comments to this dev are still closed by you can PM me or comment in my Journal.

Description

I have something to say, and it won't be easy. Life as we know it is over, that's for sure. This is a new reality and your reality is most probably very different from mine. You see, I am Russian. I am now prepared to be hated, for things I have no control over, for things I don't even now much about, because I'm a civilian, not politician, economist or soldier. I only see it in the news, probably just like you do, but I have the luxury of being able to read BOTH European websites (namely BBC) and Russian ones. You get the information your government wants you to know, we here get the information our government wants us to know. You get the picture of abhorrent Russians murdering civilians in the streets and bombing blocks of flats, we get the picture of an equally abhorrent Ukrainian military using civilians as a life shield and positioning their snipers on the upper floors of blocks of flats.

However you call it, 'special military operation' or plainly war, it is a devastating situation that brings horror and grief, at least this we can agree on. Why did it come to this? Putin says it is to protect the people of Donetsk and Luhansk, who wanted to join Russia since the revolution of 2013 (ever heard of that?) and were facing violence from the Ukrainian side. BBC says it's nothing but Putin's ambition. I don't feel like any of those give the full picture of what is really going on. It might have a lot to do with the expansion of NATO and the threat it poses to Russia's national security. In simpler words: my opinion (based on nothing but history books) is that like so many countries Russia is now at risk of becoming a colony-like subordinate to Britain and the US, who would gladly have their share of Russian resources. Ukraine, as a country situated between NATO and Russia, cannot be independent and neutral, it's bound to be the political or military battleground until one or the other side takes over it.

Reading BBC, I have my questions:

1. Who benefits from keeping the non-military people in the besieged cities? Not Russians, presence of civilians only slows progress of the attack aimed at defeating Ukrainian authorities. You get reports of Russian military stopping the residents from leaving, we get reports of Ukrainian military halting anyone who's willing to leave, especially those willing to leave for Russia, not Europe.

2. Who benefits from the news of “barbarian Russians” bombing children's hospitals? What is the point of bombing a hospital? It is not a military object, its destruction achieves nothing but hate. Where's the benefit in that?

3. The Chernobyl power plant has lost its power, who has cut the power line? Are you sure you know the answer? I am not sure of anything.

4. Finally, I appreciate the professional journalism of saying 'there are many bodies lying in the streets and no-one can carry them' (the emotional impact) along with 'there has been very little footage and few photos to reveal exactly what it's like inside the city' (the fact of having no proof). I have the feeling had there been any proof at all, you would have already seen the worst of it in every gruesome detail.

It's ironic how US and European companies think we here won't be able to survive without Coca Cola or Ikea or H&M. We are sure to face so much worse than that. I was born it the country torn by yet another one of those coups – when I was about 10 my family couldn't afford tomatoes and cucumbers in winter, they were just too expensive. When at 16 I learned from my foreign penpals that it was normal practice to write letters on one side of the paper only and then start another sheet, it was a cultural shock – why would you want to waste a whole clear side? Maybe younger generations can no longer live without the latest iPhone and Steam computer games, future will tell. I'm in my thirties, and even though I know I will get nothing but hate for saying so, I'll say it anyway: I stand with my country, I am not going to immigrate or go to the streets protesting against something I do not understand.

So I guess, more than anything, this is goodbye. I don't think I'll be able to update my gallery any longer, both because of the blockings foreign websites are bound to face in Russia soon and because of the audience who only see one side of the story and will automatically hate me for my nationality combined with my unwillingness to feel ashamed of it.

I wish things were different.

UPDATE as of Sept 25 2022: I've done some research and I feel I'm ready to come back.

And I hope that before you judge me on the basis of what the mainstream Western media tells you about the conflict in Ukraine, you do some research of your own. Here's mine.

1. BBC Newsnight report, 1 Mar 2014: Neo-Nа'zi threat in Ukraine

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SBo0a…

Quote: “One nation, one people, one country. A clean nation. Not like under Hitler, but in our own way, a little bit like that.”

My note: Before 2014 Russian language had been the second official language in some regions of Ukraine (Odesa, Kharkiv, Kherson, Mykolaiv, Zaporizhzhya, Sevastopol, Dnipropetrovsk, Luhansk and Donetsk), while Hungarian, Moldovan and Rumanian had been official second languages in several towns in Western Ukraine. Ethnic minorities that constituted more than 10% of population in a region had been allowed to use their mother tongue in legal contexts in that region. Not anymore.

2. NBC News, 13 Jul 2017: Ukraine's Hyper-Nationalist Military Summer Camp for Kids

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpV16B…

Quotes: "I'm not a nаzi, not a fасist. I'm a nationalist of Ukraine."

"Death, death to Moscovites!"

(presenter) "They are fighting Russian sympathizers. It's not Russian army, it Russian rebels, I suppose, or perhaps even Ukrainian born Russian sympathizers".

My note: Is there any surprise that this kind of policies made people of Eastern Ukraine, who had been speaking Russian all their lives, feel more like they belong to Russia than Ukraine?

3. CBC News, 9 Dec 2019: Inside one of Ukraine's separatist battlegrounds. The war has killed 14,000 people and torn Eastern Ukraine's Donbass region to shreds.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7XiGM…

My note: the presenter calls it 'separatist-held area'. Imagine living somewhere all your life, and yet you don't actually live there, you 'hold' the area. The hopelessness is evident in people's voices: in 2019 they didn't feel like either Ukraine or Russia wanted to have them. (And Russia couldn't interfere in 2014, the sanctions would have ruined Russian economy back then.)

Anne-Laure Bonnel, a French journalist, made a documentary called “Donbass”. Every single French TV channel refused to give it screentime.

4. The US Senator Richard H. Black thoroughly explains the reasons of 2022 war. These videos are long but very worthy of watching:

27 Jun 2022 Richard H. Black - The US and NATO don't care how many Ukrainians die www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXOWZn…

8 Jul 2022 Richard Black: The decision for war was made in US, the decision to attack was made in Russia

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft_8kn…

5. Finally, a note about “Russian war crimes”. From the first day of attack Russian officials were saying that Russian military did not target civilians. 'No', said Western media citing Ukrainian officials, 'you are monsters who target schools, hospitals and residential areas'. Yet on August 4, 2022 Amnesty International published a report (www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news… ) pointing out that Ukrainian military do use schools, hospitals and residential areas. The report was called 'a lie', yet there's solid proof that it's true:

A Canadian soldier who'd fought in Ukraine openly says that his first mission was to go into an apartment building and set up a sniper position from there ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN2Ndi… time: 1:55). In case you are wondering what it's like to have a sniper positioned in your home: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y55wF4… (report by Vittorio Rangeloni). And here you can see ambulances being used to transport Ukrainian military troops: youtu.be/BE-A5xbx6gI A family who escaped from Mariupol tell the interviewer that they were blocked in a basement with another 300 people by Ukrainian army, who used them as a shield against Russians: www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvZg-H… In this video you can see Russian soldiers save civilians trapped in basement by the Ukrainian Аzоv battalion youtu.be/_lsoV_6ZCZc German N-TV viewers could see a swastikа decorating a Ukrainian tank: youtu.be/xF578KmWUZs

There are brave Western journalists who report from the frontline (some started in 2014), look at what they saw and what they've lived through:

Eva K Bartlett (Canada)

Patrick Lancaster (USA)

Graham Phillips (UK)

Anne-Laure Bonnel (France)

And here is a discussion that has more names of independent journalists in the comment section: www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0H7PI…

There are no saints in wars. But before you call Russia a nа'zi country (and I've seen Sky News already say so!) that invades its neighbors for no reason, do your own research.

The comments to this dev are still closed by you can PM me or comment in my Journal.