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Kharta — Fate or Fortune -Ch8, p6-
Published: 2014-08-10 13:59:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 1812; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 3
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Description
Everyone's very used to Rise hanging off Souji.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notice: If anyone finds any mistakes or the quality lacking don't be afraid to leave a comment. I shall address each problem during a week after a chapter is concluded.
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Read from right to left.
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Disclaimer: Persona and all its associated trademarks do not belong to me or Tempest Kiro.
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Title Page: kharta.deviantart.com/art/Fate…
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Comments: 9
Okay, with Yosuke's face. It either needs to curve in more to show that it's only his left side, or you need to fill in the missing right eye as (after closer inspection) the design was drawn with his whole face at an angle. If the latter, then you'll need to fix his nose as well.
With Souji (Hey, I got it!) He needs to be about Yosuke's height in the top panel as WinkC1ub said. Also, the proportions of his head and body are off in the last panel (I'd recommend Making his body and arms bigger).
Now for the REAL asshole nitpicking territory: Naoto's Yasogami High badge on her collar on the top panel should actually be on the other side (aka not visible), but her year 1 Roman Numeral pin should be there (funny how this is correct in the bottom panel). Finally....you didn't add the checkered pattern designs like usual. (...Don't look at me like that! I said this was the asshole level!)
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I edited everything you pointed out. Better?
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Very. Although, I feel like an ass for giving this much nitpicky 'criticism' when this would be quite the feat for myself.
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Its alright. I need mistakes to be picked up anyway, especially when I'm not at my game.
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Yosuke seems really tall and Shouji seems really short. Also, Yukiko's face looks kinda weird
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Much better, though Yukiko's face still looks a little weird. I think it might be that the mouth is too big. Try lining the corner of her mouth to right bellow the middle of her eye
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