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LaMademoiselleRouge — Twilight Demotivator
Published: 2010-03-22 18:55:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 3809; Favourites: 55; Downloads: 143
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I was bored, that's all I can sayAnti-Twilight
Seriously, what is up with the sparkles?
David Bowie is the only guy who can pull off glitter and look good doing it
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Comments: 131
The only crime worthy of the death penalty.
Be sure to give Major Armstrong his sparkles back too.
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Haha, this made my day! 
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I think they're really a subspecies of faerie with a fetish for blood myself
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Or they just have a femine side to them, lol.
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You don't have to have a feminine side to sparkle
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I used that as a joke, thats all.
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David Bowie's the only guy allowed to sparkle.
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Edward: THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER!!!!
Me: No sweetie, that's the skin of Tinkerbell.
Edward: But-
Me: Now wait here and don't be bothered by the nice men with the nets okay? They're not going to hurt you.... Get him boys!
Seriously, what kind of vampire SPARKLES??????
What has the world come to?
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AND fangs! Gotta have fangs!
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Vampires on some serious psychadelics or who're actually supposed to be backup dancers or extras in a Ke$ha video?
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I have no idea what I was thinking when I actually liked that stuff XD;;
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I know, I used to think it was cool too, but then it all hit me.
Bella: Ungrateful Wet Weed
Edward: Tinkerbell in disguise
Jacob: Bestiality fan/Pedophile
What was Stephanie thinking!?!?!
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I started realizing that
Bella=Mary Sue/Author's Insert, insult to feminism
Edward=Abusive, domineering control freak
Jacob, you're on your own.
At the end, I only really liked the series for some of the side characters like Jasper (who needed more screentime) and the Volturi (because evil is awesome). This series is just fucked up otherwise. The last book was particularly disturbing.
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I know, I agree with all that, but I think I hate Bella the most because she's such an ungrateful brat.
After all her dad bought her a computer, a CAR, painted her room, got her loads of new clothes-
And she won't even properly call him dad??
What. A. Bi- I mean brat.
Not to mention she's all like "Oh my gawd! My life sucks so much!" when there's practically a crowd behind her screaming "WE LOVE YOU BELLA!!!"
I mean COME ON!!!
Edward sucks.
Jacob is too... obsessive? No... Well I just think that he's too hung up on Bella.
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Oh my God, I know, if I were her, I'd be beside myself, wondering what I could do to repay my dad for all that stuff. What a brat. She treats him like he can't take care of himself without a woman around to do all the domestic stuff men don't do.
As for the attention, I'm a really, really shy person so all those people going "WE LOVE YOU WE LOVE YOU" would be really uncomfortable for me, but... I mean really, at least people /want/ to be friends with her!
Edward's abusive and I hate that. I always have, his treatment of her always left a sour taste in my mouth.
Jacob's just... I have no words. He was a good character with plenty of potential but then the "Author" derailed his character. I cried for the old Jacob.
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Again I agree with all.
Jacob could have been SOOOO much better, but Meyer killed his character completely. If the old Jacob was still there, the book series might still have some meaning to me.
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She wasted a lot of good opportunities because she wanted her world to be perfect and exactly how she wanted it. She's just a terrible writer.
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I know! She managed to make every one a Mary Sue in some way
Bella: The biggest one of all, alone and closed off from her parents and friends, yet almost everyone loves her.
Edward: The 'apparently' cold blooded killer who isolates himself because he thinks he's 'dangerous' but really he hiding all these hidden emotions.
Jacob: The second guy who's so nice and brilliant and the main girl has to make the Ultimate Mary-Sue decision. Who should she choose? The perfect guy or the one she REALLY loves. Although I don't hate Jacob as much as the others, but Meyer still ruined him.
*sigh* what happened to good books?
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She ruined everyone else by making them into the little people to aid the other Mary Sues. It's outrageous. The books aren't even well written, if I were her publisher, I would have sent them back to be rewritten until it was done right.
Who knows? The disappeared with JK Rowling, Meg Cabot, and all the other good Teen literature writers
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Exactly! If I had written it, vampires wouldn't sparkle, everyone wouldn't be a Mary-Sue and... well it would be an entirely different book.
I know... I miss J.K... *sigh*
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Yeah, I was reading Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles at the same time and I'm like. "What...?" Meyer obviously knew nothing about vampires when she started writing.
I love when they compare her and S.Meyer. I wonder when they'll understand that there is none.
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And she thinks she's written the best thing in the world. Sad.
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I know right... She dares to think that she has written something that can compare to J.K Rowling? And she'll NEVER come NEAR Douglas Adams....
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She thinks she's written a love story on par with Romeo and Juliet... she's wrong and she's completely missed the point of the play.
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Yup, she thinks way too much of her writing. Ever notice that the book didn't become really popular until the movie? It was just the fact that Robert Patinson was in it that made it popular at all. And I don't even see what all the girls see in him!
And "the lion fell in love with the lamb" is NOT the most romantic sentence ever. In fact, its insulting lions and lambs because she's relating them to those horrible characters.
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I know, I went to an all-girls high school and I couldn't get away from it, I thought I was going to kill myself. She compares it to Wuthering Heights too... I guess it fits, they're obsessive and creepy enough...
I like Robert Pattinson if only because A. he was Cedric Diggory, B. I feel bad for him, and C. He hates Edward.
It really isn't, and seriously, you don't fall in love with your food. It's like me wanting to marry chocolate.
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I never like Wuthering Heights that much either.
I don't hate Robert, because he was awesome as Cedric and he DOES hate Edward, I just don't see why all the girls are like "OH MY GAWD ISN'T ROBERT PATTINSON SOOOOOOOO HOT!!!! SQUEEEE!!!!!"
I'm like he isn't THAT good looking! At least not in Twilight. Cedric however is an entirely different matter, because I will admit that he was pretty handsome there.
Chocolate is for eating, not marrying... Meyer was really messed up in the head....
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Me neither, I only read it because they made us.
He really isn't that hot, he looked like a rich frat boy who just rolled out of bed with a massive hangover after a wild dorm party.
I would never marry my food, that's just wrong.
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Gotta agree with you on that one ^^
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I went to the premier of the movie with a friend and we made fun of all the little twihards. It was fun
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Lol! I wish I could have seen that!!
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It was so much fun, the fangirls glared at us so much. >w> When the second movie came out, a local radio show did "Dramatic Readings" of New Moon that are absolutely hilarious XD
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Lol! I'll have to see if its one YouTube at some point!
Did you see the movie Vampire's Suck, you know, the parody of Twilight? It's freakin hilarious!
Becka (Bella): Why did you just take your shirt off?
Jacob: *holds up sheet of paper* The contract says I have to every five minutes.
LOLZ!
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There are two of them. Search for "Lambert and Lindsey New Moon"
No, the reviews said it wasn't very good and I'm not a huge moviegoes (I only go and see about 1 a year)
PFFFT... Sounds about right.
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I'll have to look those up later..
Whoever said that about the movie? It was epic! Yeah, I'm not so much so either, I haven't been to the cinema in like, two years? O.O
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They have some other stuff too that hilarious. I wish they'd put more up, either that or I need to break down and buy some of their CDs
The person who reviewed it for our paper -shrugs- Last time I went to the movies was last November when my mom and I went to see Tangled for my birthday
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I'll have to see that!
Ahhh Tangled? My sister saw it and said it was Rubbish with a capital R. What do you think?
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One guy does reviews of children's books and I can listen to them a million times and still laugh XD
I thought it was wonderful! I really liked it, but then, I'm a sucker for movies like that (I only wish it had been hand-drawn animation instead of CG...
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Ha! That sounds cool!
Well I haven't seen the movie, so I wouldn't know. But it might have been better as a hand drawn your right.
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I especially love his review of One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish XD
It's cute, the music's pretty good too.
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What's the other one that's really funny? Oh, the Goodnight Moon one's good
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I haven't seen that, what is it about?
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