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Description
How it began

It was painful. At least it was to her, the shaman of the pack, the one who was so receptive to the Celestial’s disapproval and rage. There were no more pleas, no more deals and no more begging. It was over. Like water their pelts bled dry, losing gorgeous pigmentation. Then Pyridon himself swept them forth in a massive wave from the Lake. Emblem didn’t fight it – but it was agonizing. She could no longer breathe in her element and the force shoved water into her sinuses, her ears and mouth. Long limbs were knocked away, loosing futile grip on sand. Body tumbled to and fro, beating against stone and, most likely, her other pack mates. The physical pain ran in accordance with that of the spirit – it was all anger, sore disapproval and she felt each charm ripped from her being. Was it supposed to hurt like it did?

Try as she may, Emblem could not loose consciousness. She wanted to. All she heard was water until her ears hurt, and her eyes stayed shut to protect them from the grime that laced the liquid. Violent riptides and torrents yanked her back, further out. Natural instinct kicked in and her legs paddled but it was hopeless. No matter how hard she tried she could not move – Pyridon was keeping her down. Air was running out until her lungs burned and her chest ached with the lack of oxygen. Still Emblem fought until there was no more fight left. Black edged her vision and her mouth opened to breathe something that was no longer available. Her lungs filled and then…there was nothing…

Weightlessness… Nerves were alive with pressure and every sensation that could ever exist. She could taste what she saw and smell what she heard. Incoherency became the only sensible thing and for ages she seemed to float in nothingness. Hours turned into days, and days into weeks. Heaven and hell were one and the same. Sleep beckoned her and Emblem took to it gladly. Dreams were things to understand and for hours she did so, dreaming of life, of death and existence itself…And then she tasted air…sweet but stifled. Now her focus was on breathing and she realized how hard it was…How she had to work and gasp just to get the full force of air down her throat…

Day One

The wolfess began to cough uncontrollably. Sapphire eyes opened, but they saw nothing. She was too panicked to place herself. Water poured out of her throat and nose. God it felt like she was hacking up a lung. But only water came out and nothing more. She groaned, her chest racked with pain and more water ended up spilling out of her. Moments passed as the wolfess just gathering her breath, filling her lungs with the sweet taste of air and nothing more. She could breathe. Which meant she was alive.

She was alive? Emblem shifted her weight to get a better look around. She lay on a shore, with water lapping calmly around her. Out beyond, towards the horizon was just fog. The next thing she saw was a forest to her right. Trees stood tall and beckoned her into the spacious woodlands. It was beautiful.

This was not Paragon.

Emblem blinked a few times, recognizing the terrible headache that pulsed behind her eyes. She felt exhausted and without a further thought, her head lay on wet paws and she drifted off easier than before.

It was night when she pulled from her slumber. The headache was still there but not as intense. Emblem let a groan escape her. Heavens she felt like a drowned rat. The darkness had enveloped the world and stars glittered the sky in a beautiful pattern. As she stared Emblem felt as if she could see travelers among the heavens – wolves of all sorts moving along its length. The shaman could not deny the beauty here. Maybe she was dead after all?

A side glance to her paws brought a yelp of surprise from her maw. She stood up immediately out of the shock and stared down, raising one paw than the other. Her color! It was the same light slate blue. She twisted around to see the blue wave ripple down her back, her sea green marked tail. She had her pelt! But how? Emblem shook herself out of nervousness and confusion. Where was she?

“Hello?” Oh her throat hurt. A cough escaped after the words vibrated from her vocal chords and a bit more liquid dribbled from her maw. She shook her head in irritation before she went back to her search. No answer, just silence. She couldn’t even hear the night songs that often dwelled in forests such as these. With careful steps the female moved forward, away from the water into the darkness. She was not scared, just confused. Where was she? Was she alone? Had she really died? “Hello? Hinata? Cruix?”

She was not an original to the Uiscens. Emblem had come into the pack life almost a week after they had returned from disgracing Pyridon the first time. She had found the pack in disarray; their convictions were not very – pure. Emblem flinched as she thought back to it all. It had taken less than a month for Pyridon to become so fully enraged. During that time Emblem had tried to tell them that they needed to spend more time at their focus, to act like a pack and like Uiscens. She offered to be with them and to help them. A few had tried…it had not been enough.

The world was ghostly. The trees were spacious and the forest floor was soft with leaves and pine needles. Emblem could not hear anything except the distant lapping of the waves against the store. It was so quiet. Terribly quiet. Her hackles rose slightly in discomfort. The wolfess was not used to such silence as this. But she did not stop moving. Her nose touched the earth. No smells of any life form. Just trees. Trees and she. Everything was the same to her, each passing tree, every leaf, twig, bush. Nothing changed. For hours until the twilight began to touch the night sky with blue tints she walked. Her gaze was troubled the entire time and growing more unsettled with each step.

It was an island. She was trapped on an island in a place she had never seen nor knew existed. And she was alone. Emblem returned to the spot that she had woken up at. She was alone…

Day two

Eventually she fell asleep, exhausted from the wear of the search. Emblem knew she was alone, but still she kept searching. Surely she had missed something? Someone, somewhere was looking for her too, or at least looking like she was? The silence was deafening – it was terrible. Just the lapping of the water that she slept next too and her own breathing, her own heart beat pounding ridiculously loud. There was no wind to tickle her pelt – there was no change at all. Her confusion turned into pain. What had she done to deserve this punishment? Emblem tried to understand and the next day she just sat and stared at the water. Every past mistake was so glaringly obvious in her mind. Every faulty word, every transgression that led her to this hell.

The fog never receded from the distance but it never reached out to envelope the small island Emblem was on. With a suffering sigh she stood again and shook he r pelt – still with its glorious colors that marked her a child of Pyridon’s ways. Well she had to do something. Surely there were clues as too where exactly she was – sitting around crying about it was not going to get her anywhere. Besides, that only gave her a headache.

The sun glowed in the sky and it gave her a strange feel. Or – lack of feeling. Emblem was comfortable but she felt no added heat on her pelt though it looked to be midday. The transition between shadow and light brought no change in temperature. Emblem shivered at the realization. Would water be the same? And food? Would she need to eat? And how – there was nothing here but she and the trees! Emblem felt the weight of hopelessness crush down on top of her – the force felt so physical that she stopped with a groan and stared at her paws. What things she had taken for granted on Paragon! Instead of seeing small insects scurrying about in their worlds she just saw dead leaves and brush. Her teeth ground together. She had promised herself she would not cry over this – she had to find a solution, at least try and understand!

As expected Emblem found nothing. Unmarked trees, empty burrows and dens. The day turned to night but she felt no change. Emblem only felt hollow and at the end of the day she returned to the water’s edge. Wherever there was water there was Pyridon. “Celestial” she started – it had been the first time she had spoken since yesterday and her voice was full of agony. “Celestial please…I only seek to understand, just to know where I am…I do not care why, just where…”

Silence. The slap of water against sand. Emblem did not move a muscle, afraid that maybe she would miss some sign, some prolific message that Pyridon would grace her with. An hour passed. Maybe two…Time did not exist here – who knew if this moon and this sun was even real? Was any of this real? It felt real and yet – too surreal for her to understand and comprehend. With a defeated sigh, exhaustion on her again the wolfess laid down and rested her muzzle on crossed paws. The Uiscen had reached no conclusion today – only more misery. She promised herself, as her eyes slowly drooped, that she would be more upbeat tomorrow. This sadness and misery was getting her no where anyways.

Day Three

Alright. So today she would do something – somehow. Emblem had never been one to play games, but it was obvious she was not leaving here anytime soon. The Uiscen had to do something. She stretched – shoved all forlorn thoughts to the very back of her mind and sighed. The sun rose and she noticed vaguely that the same colors danced across the sky as yesterday morn. A violent shake of her head pulled her out of that forefront. She mentally thanked Pyridon for the new day – was it a new day though? – and moved out into the forests. Emblem began to grow accustom to the silence. She hated it, but she could live with it.

In turn she was loud. Her usually silent pad-falls were noisy – she kicked up leaves to hear them rustle. Claws tore against bark to hear them rip and shred and she even barked just to hear the sound of her own vocals. Too quiet, too quiet! She would go crazy with all this silence. “I need to do something…” She mumbled as she glanced around. She hadn’t played games since she was a pup. She used to play with bugs but there were no bugs here! Chase birds, but what invisible fowl would fly from her? Obviously there were no other wolves about for her to exploit – she used to be a rough and tumble practical joker. Emblem half grinned at that memory.

Her tiny body was hidden behind the large rock. Her mother, a beautiful Uiscen, swayed at the movements of the ocean. Their family was large enough to be considered a pack, and they often prayed to the water – the Lake the pup corrected herself. Emblem didn’t care about the lake, her colors had barely come in. No, she only cared about getting her mother all wet! With a wag of a tiny tail, the pup’s large paws pushed out to sneak her body forward. Though her front was low to the ground, her hind end stuck up high. Realizing this, Emblem glanced back at it with a growl and her hind end immediately obeyed the fierce command with a drop. There. Now her mother would never catch her! She peeked out to see the silver wolfess tabbed with ocean green stand quietly. The pup let out a squeaking bark – ferocious in her mind of course – and her mother glanced over towards her direction. Emblem giggled to herself and took a step back.

“Emblem?” Her mother’s voice was like sweet honey and dripped smooth to the earth. Emblem wanted her voice to sound like that one day. But she was going to play a joke on her mommy no matter what! Another yelping bark and she could hear her mother’s paws shift in the sand. One…she was coming closer…two…almost there…THREE!

“GROWRRRAWWWRRR!” Emblem bellowed, jumping out to splash in the puddle that was left behind with the rains. Her mother yelped slightly as water splashed on her face and Emblem fell backwards as she laughed.

Melancholy gripped her heart – not now not now! Something to occupy her time. It had been two days since the day she had died – Emblem had to be dead right? – and if she was going to spend eternity alone she was going to have to come up with something to make sure her mind didn’t rot in her skull. Which was happening pretty fast with this unbearable silence engulfing the place. She swished her tail and turned back around. The strange sensation hadn’t slipped her – Emblem was not hungry. She would eat if she could – just to do something – but she didn’t feel the need.

Emblem could swim. Her charms may have been taken away but she knew how to swim like a regular wolf. Yes, she would swim. The slate blue wolfess stood on shore for a moment and overlooked everything before her. The water was blue – beautiful and clear. A shaky sigh escaped her lungs and she placed a paw in.

Gods she could not even feel the temperature of the water! Emblem wrenched her paw out in horror and stared at it. It was liquid and warm maybe? Or cold? Or hot? It didn’t matter did it? The sea could have been made by liquid fire and Emblem would never feel a thing! Anger surged through her – she did not want to be here! Why couldn’t she just stay dead, just sleep for all of eternity and love the memories that she had? Why this, why here? Nothing ever changed! Her fury drove her into the water head first – she felt the resistance but not the liquid. The resurface brought a gasp for breath and another pang of irritation flashed through her. What was this limbo that she needed to breathe but not eat?

Emblem shoved her paws out and her legs kicked. The slender body was propelled forward and her fiery sapphire eyes aimed for the fog. There would be other places; she had no doubt in her mind. Emblem would find someone else, someone with answers at least. No more mind games! Every paddle pushed her closer and the mist was closing in. She wanted to bite it, to taste it. To feel something!

Her little island was moving farther and farther away – the mist however decided it would stay put. The initial movement was all that Emblem was getting. It was taunting her! Dammit! With a growl she continued to push and strain until her muscles began to burn. Eyes narrowed with a light of stubbornness behind them. If she had to swim forever than fine!

The wave was unexpected. The water began to pull forward and Emblem stopped in surprise as she faced a wall. The two stared at each other – if a wave could stare, which it probably could – for a suspended second in time. And then it rushed Emblem and tossed her backwards. The wolfess rolled and tumbled violently before she was able to twist her body around. The wave never grew or shortened its height – it just moved forward. Emblem rode it with wide eyes – that shoreline was coming in fast. And then she was higher, higher still before she was falling. Impact knocked the breath out of her – her ribcage collapsed for a second before pushing back out. The water shoved her further up on the bank and then all that was left was Emblem.

“Alright Pyridon…I’ll stay…” she breathed. That was the last thing she said before blackness took her.

Day Four

She did not feel like moving. Consciousness touched on closed lids but the wolfess made no movement to open them up. She did not want to. She would sleep forever, her body wet but not cold. Nothing externally affected her, just internally. Her body was sore from the painful jar it had received from Pyridon. But... She knew he was here yes? Pyridon was in fact here, even if it was just for a short amount of time, even if it was just to keep her on this hell of an island she was not alone.

But was it worth getting up over? Finally eyes opened and stared blankly out over the water. Was it a sea? Suddenly curious but this obscure thought Emblem wearily leaned forward and lapped it up. She felt the water slip down her throat but it did not have the liquid cool sensation, no sweet taste nor bitter brim. But it sedated her and a few more swallows for good measure followed before her head hit the sand again and sore eyelids returned to their relaxed state.

Emblem came to again hours later, when the sun - or its impostor - was high in the sky. A small whimper left her frame as she twitched her legs. It felt as if her whole right side was bruised. Still she did not move. She felt deflated, useless. All of this was pointless. Eyes sidled shut again and Emblem let herself go.

Day Five

Sleep.

Wake. Stare. Silence, loneliness, nothing here but her.

Sadness, self pity.

Sleep.

Day Six

She had a dream. Staring eyes, voices taunting her, driving her onwards. She was running, constantly running but the scenery never changed. With a cry she woke, a jerk tingling down her spine. Sightless eyes filled with inner demons tormenting her, blaming her for this. Telling her she would die here, to weak to move on, too useless to save herself.

No.

No. No. No.

Anger filled her chest and her heart rate spiked. With a snarl her sight came too and the voices were cast back into the subconscious from whence they had come. She would not settle herself on the sand and die like some uncultured animal. Emblem was a wolf, and wolves did not just let themselves die. They didn't wish themselves away to rot, despite sorrow, anxiety, pain and agony, wishing and dreams. She would find something to do. Pyridon was after all, here at some interval even if he was silent.

This whole terrible place was full of tense silence.

Emblem planted a paw on the ground and pushed, slowly but surely easing her pained visage upwards. Success and liberation occurred when she finally found her paws. Vertigo hit her head like a hammer but only caused a slight sway. She was not, after all, going to let herself fall over. Partially because she was not sure she would even try to get back up. The wolfess staggered forward towards the water's edge and slowly cast her eyes across the distant esoteric horizon. Nothing, as if something deep within her expected her opticals to be greeted by some form or mass that would erect hope. Slowly the triangular head touched the resistance that was liquid and lapped it up - she didn't feel thirsty but who knew if her body was still being deprived of all that it needed to survive.

She didn't think it was, but it made her feel better to do something natural and commonplace.

Today...was it the same day as yesterday and the day before, or did this qualify as something new? Today sh e was going to explore yet again...maybe count how many wolf lengths this entire island was...was she that desperate already?

She had to do something to get her mind off the wallowing self pity that threatened to overtake her every time she thought about this predicament. If this was hell then so be it but Pyridon was watching and she be damned if she was going to go insane or fall over like some pup. So, wolf lengths it was! She deeply scored the current location - Emblem was pretty certain that she would not forget where she had slept for the last...however long it had been - but she didn't want to be circling the mundane island for all of eternity either. And then, from there, a paw reached out, took to the earth and a "one" slipped forth from a tired maw.

Emblem had began at midday. With no warmth from the sun and her tired mind easily able to escape from the light that usually pulverized her eyelids it was difficult for Emblem to wake up on a normal cycle. Thus she had come to and midday and that is where her counting adventure began.

In the end it came out to five thousand seven hundred sixty eight wolf lengths in total by the time she returned to the marked location. Her voice had rang out with every word, every number, infliction over each syllable until the silence was gone and for a moment - for a single moment - Emblem had forgotten where she was...and for a moment she felt like she was going to be all right.

But of course...that was only a moment.

Day Seven

It was a feeling, once so fleeting and distant that Emblem had never given it much thought that now attempted to engross her. The one of sadness, of the choking sigh and whimpering reprieve of the other life, that which she had lost by every fault of her own. The memories trickled across her mind, revealing to her everything she had - now gone - everything she loved - now dead. It hurt in the pit of her stomach, in the wells of her heart and the possession could not so easily be fought back. It engaged her emotions, the only feeling that could ever pull out such an array of desires from any one being. She wished she could go back, to try harder for she had surely failed her Celestial in ways that only a shaman could fail. She longed to understand where she was for that last step of acceptance, embracing the known for it was the unknown that scared her the most.

The pain was alive within her and this time Emblem did not fight it down - not yet, not when she wanted to feel it so badly, to mourn because it was all she thought she could feel. Such sadness, such pain that the thought of happiness was but a curling wisp of smoke, gone before she could breath it in and trap it in the depths of her lungs. Her voice trickled out of her maw, curses to herself for being the way she was. Failure. Foolish. Stupid. And the anger rose from the core of her being and she wanted to hurt something - hurt herself most of all. How could she let this be? How could she, claiming such a tie to Pyridon, to water, allow this horrid act of insubordination to occur?

The better logical part of her knew it could not just be the act of one to save her pack, that in the end she had tried but in her eyes it was not enough, would never be enough. Because all her trying did not bring back her pack. It did not save her from this repetitious torture, this pulverization of her heart. How much more could she take, how much longer would she ever be able to last in this harsh semi-reality, this bleak existence with no promise of future, just of past? Could she survive without losing herself in the process?

Blue eyes stared blankly at the water. She sat, not at her natural location so impressed by her body, but at a wide stream. It was full, clear and beautiful. The trickle of water ran over her and maybe it would have soothed her once. Not now. If a wolf could shed tears she would have but the soft pale silver-blue uiscen could do no such thing. The silence, always oppressing, was deterred from the clamorous noise that reverberated within the confines of her head.

So warped in the self pitied loathing and sadness that Emblem did not notice the fish that floated idly by. It was beautiful, speckled with soft variations of pinks and oranges across the slate gray. It floated against the current though did not seem to mind its pause in the shadow of the wolf. Had this fish ever seen sometihng like Emblem before.

It was the first sign of life Emblem had encountered since she had found herself trapped on the island and the sudden shock of this brought her reeling back into the current situation. Her eyes lit up, the instinct to kill the fish sudden. But she was not hungry, felt no need to eat and her body did not seem to waste away from the lack of nutrition. Besides...she could not bring herself to kill that which shared the same element as she, not here and not now.

“Hello.” Her voice was gentle, so afraid that the whispers of her breath would startle the being into the depths of the deep and she would never see it again. The fish did dart but only a jerk before it stopped again. She received no answer but that was alright. Emblem did not know what to say to the fish at first - should she introduce herself plainly? Or attempt to engage it with a question so maybe it would stay with her. The gentle colors reminded her of a fading sunset after the rain. The seated form slowly lowered itself down until the belly of the wolf touched the confides of earth. Paws dipped into the water and her nose hovered just above, sad eyes watching and studying. “I hope I don't scare you...I promise I won't do anything."

The fish had no answer for her.

“My name is Emblem...I am a Uiscen - or I was. I don't know where I am, and I do not suppose you could help me?" Silence again. Emblem would not have been surprised if the fish talked to her, in fact she would welcome such a thing. So the disappointment was alive when only the gurgle of water over rocks touched her sapphire kissed ears. “That's all right. Maybe I will understand one day."

She could not lament to a fish, she realized. And not for the sole fact that it was a fish. No, she just did not want to bore the poor creature away with the sad wails of her heart. What did he care - yes he - of the life story about the wolf that hovered on the other side. Emblem wished she could join him. Was the water cool to his skin, was it fresh and wonderful like it had been on Paragon?

“Do you mind if I call you something? I don't want to be rude and not address you properly." No the fish did not mind, would not mind. He drifted forward slightly and Emblem felt her body ease to follow. “You shall be Enigma." She found the title befitting, he was her enigma to this world of terrible mundane, her touch of sunlight and escape. The mouth of the fish moved repeatedly with a flash of his gills.

Suddenly he started to move forward quickly and Emblem leapt up with a slight wail. She followed him along as he darted to and fro, eyes searching. She was clumsy, a Uiscen was never as quick out of water. Enigma continued his pace, fin flicking back and forth. Emblem shoved forward but her paw caught on an uprooted tree and she came crashing down with another cry of agony - not for her body but for her loss. “Enigma please! Don't leave me!" The usurped emotion burst forth from her voice and her chest was gouged open as she attempted to search for him again. No tangerine kissed form, no flashing pink. Her sunset was gone! Emblem scrambled up and shoved her head in the water, dashed across the stream and ran along its lengths. Every movement was frantic, hectic but no answer was found.

Emblem ran back to their meeting spot. Maybe he had gone back! Maybe Enigma had turned around! But it was barren of the life she so longed for and Emblem collapsed with another mournful outcry. He had left her! She did not mean to make him leave! The tear less sobs hit her hard and she let them come, whimpers curling out of her body and fading into time.

Description
How it began

It was painful. At least it was to her, the shaman of the pack, the one who was so receptive to the Celestial’s disapproval and rage. There were no more pleas, no more deals and no more begging. It was over. Like water their pelts bled dry, losing gorgeous pigmentation. Then Pyridon himself swept them forth in a massive wave from the Lake. Emblem didn’t fight it – but it was agonizing. She could no longer breathe in her element and the force shoved water into her sinuses, her ears and mouth. Long limbs were knocked away, loosing futile grip on sand. Body tumbled to and fro, beating against stone and, most likely, her other pack mates. The physical pain ran in accordance with that of the spirit – it was all anger, sore disapproval and she felt each charm ripped from her being. Was it supposed to hurt like it did?

Try as she may, Emblem could not loose consciousness. She wanted to. All she heard was water until her ears hurt, and her eyes stayed shut to protect them from the grime that laced the liquid. Violent riptides and torrents yanked her back, further out. Natural instinct kicked in and her legs paddled but it was hopeless. No matter how hard she tried she could not move – Pyridon was keeping her down. Air was running out until her lungs burned and her chest ached with the lack of oxygen. Still Emblem fought until there was no more fight left. Black edged her vision and her mouth opened to breathe something that was no longer available. Her lungs filled and then…there was nothing…

Weightlessness… Nerves were alive with pressure and every sensation that could ever exist. She could taste what she saw and smell what she heard. Incoherency became the only sensible thing and for ages she seemed to float in nothingness. Hours turned into days, and days into weeks. Heaven and hell were one and the same. Sleep beckoned her and Emblem took to it gladly. Dreams were things to understand and for hours she did so, dreaming of life, of death and existence itself…And then she tasted air…sweet but stifled. Now her focus was on breathing and she realized how hard it was…How she had to work and gasp just to get the full force of air down her throat…

Day One

The wolfess began to cough uncontrollably. Sapphire eyes opened, but they saw nothing. She was too panicked to place herself. Water poured out of her throat and nose. God it felt like she was hacking up a lung. But only water came out and nothing more. She groaned, her chest racked with pain and more water ended up spilling out of her. Moments passed as the wolfess just gathering her breath, filling her lungs with the sweet taste of air and nothing more. She could breathe. Which meant she was alive.

She was alive? Emblem shifted her weight to get a better look around. She lay on a shore, with water lapping calmly around her. Out beyond, towards the horizon was just fog. The next thing she saw was a forest to her right. Trees stood tall and beckoned her into the spacious woodlands. It was beautiful.

This was not Paragon.

Emblem blinked a few times, recognizing the terrible headache that pulsed behind her eyes. She felt exhausted and without a further thought, her head lay on wet paws and she drifted off easier than before.

It was night when she pulled from her slumber. The headache was still there but not as intense. Emblem let a groan escape her. Heavens she felt like a drowned rat. The darkness had enveloped the world and stars glittered the sky in a beautiful pattern. As she stared Emblem felt as if she could see travelers among the heavens – wolves of all sorts moving along its length. The shaman could not deny the beauty here. Maybe she was dead after all?

A side glance to her paws brought a yelp of surprise from her maw. She stood up immediately out of the shock and stared down, raising one paw than the other. Her color! It was the same light slate blue. She twisted around to see the blue wave ripple down her back, her sea green marked tail. She had her pelt! But how? Emblem shook herself out of nervousness and confusion. Where was she?

“Hello?” Oh her throat hurt. A cough escaped after the words vibrated from her vocal chords and a bit more liquid dribbled from her maw. She shook her head in irritation before she went back to her search. No answer, just silence. She couldn’t even hear the night songs that often dwelled in forests such as these. With careful steps the female moved forward, away from the water into the darkness. She was not scared, just confused. Where was she? Was she alone? Had she really died? “Hello? Hinata? Cruix?”

She was not an original to the Uiscens. Emblem had come into the pack life almost a week after they had returned from disgracing Pyridon the first time. She had found the pack in disarray; their convictions were not very – pure. Emblem flinched as she thought back to it all. It had taken less than a month for Pyridon to become so fully enraged. During that time Emblem had tried to tell them that they needed to spend more time at their focus, to act like a pack and like Uiscens. She offered to be with them and to help them. A few had tried…it had not been enough.

The world was ghostly. The trees were spacious and the forest floor was soft with leaves and pine needles. Emblem could not hear anything except the distant lapping of the waves against the store. It was so quiet. Terribly quiet. Her hackles rose slightly in discomfort. The wolfess was not used to such silence as this. But she did not stop moving. Her nose touched the earth. No smells of any life form. Just trees. Trees and she. Everything was the same to her, each passing tree, every leaf, twig, bush. Nothing changed. For hours until the twilight began to touch the night sky with blue tints she walked. Her gaze was troubled the entire time and growing more unsettled with each step.

It was an island. She was trapped on an island in a place she had never seen nor knew existed. And she was alone. Emblem returned to the spot that she had woken up at. She was alone…

Day two

Eventually she fell asleep, exhausted from the wear of the search. Emblem knew she was alone, but still she kept searching. Surely she had missed something? Someone, somewhere was looking for her too, or at least looking like she was? The silence was deafening – it was terrible. Just the lapping of the water that she slept next too and her own breathing, her own heart beat pounding ridiculously loud. There was no wind to tickle her pelt – there was no change at all. Her confusion turned into pain. What had she done to deserve this punishment? Emblem tried to understand and the next day she just sat and stared at the water. Every past mistake was so glaringly obvious in her mind. Every faulty word, every transgression that led her to this hell.

The fog never receded from the distance but it never reached out to envelope the small island Emblem was on. With a suffering sigh she stood again and shook he r pelt – still with its glorious colors that marked her a child of Pyridon’s ways. Well she had to do something. Surely there were clues as too where exactly she was – sitting around crying about it was not going to get her anywhere. Besides, that only gave her a headache.

The sun glowed in the sky and it gave her a strange feel. Or – lack of feeling. Emblem was comfortable but she felt no added heat on her pelt though it looked to be midday. The transition between shadow and light brought no change in temperature. Emblem shivered at the realization. Would water be the same? And food? Would she need to eat? And how – there was nothing here but she and the trees! Emblem felt the weight of hopelessness crush down on top of her – the force felt so physical that she stopped with a groan and stared at her paws. What things she had taken for granted on Paragon! Instead of seeing small insects scurrying about in their worlds she just saw dead leaves and brush. Her teeth ground together. She had promised herself she would not cry over this – she had to find a solution, at least try and understand!

As expected Emblem found nothing. Unmarked trees, empty burrows and dens. The day turned to night but she felt no change. Emblem only felt hollow and at the end of the day she returned to the water’s edge. Wherever there was water there was Pyridon. “Celestial” she started – it had been the first time she had spoken since yesterday and her voice was full of agony. “Celestial please…I only seek to understand, just to know where I am…I do not care why, just where…”

Silence. The slap of water against sand. Emblem did not move a muscle, afraid that maybe she would miss some sign, some prolific message that Pyridon would grace her with. An hour passed. Maybe two…Time did not exist here – who knew if this moon and this sun was even real? Was any of this real? It felt real and yet – too surreal for her to understand and comprehend. With a defeated sigh, exhaustion on her again the wolfess laid down and rested her muzzle on crossed paws. The Uiscen had reached no conclusion today – only more misery. She promised herself, as her eyes slowly drooped, that she would be more upbeat tomorrow. This sadness and misery was getting her no where anyways.

Day Three

Alright. So today she would do something – somehow. Emblem had never been one to play games, but it was obvious she was not leaving here anytime soon. The Uiscen had to do something. She stretched – shoved all forlorn thoughts to the very back of her mind and sighed. The sun rose and she noticed vaguely that the same colors danced across the sky as yesterday morn. A violent shake of her head pulled her out of that forefront. She mentally thanked Pyridon for the new day – was it a new day though? – and moved out into the forests. Emblem began to grow accustom to the silence. She hated it, but she could live with it.

In turn she was loud. Her usually silent pad-falls were noisy – she kicked up leaves to hear them rustle. Claws tore against bark to hear them rip and shred and she even barked just to hear the sound of her own vocals. Too quiet, too quiet! She would go crazy with all this silence. “I need to do something…” She mumbled as she glanced around. She hadn’t played games since she was a pup. She used to play with bugs but there were no bugs here! Chase birds, but what invisible fowl would fly from her? Obviously there were no other wolves about for her to exploit – she used to be a rough and tumble practical joker. Emblem half grinned at that memory.

Her tiny body was hidden behind the large rock. Her mother, a beautiful Uiscen, swayed at the movements of the ocean. Their family was large enough to be considered a pack, and they often prayed to the water – the Lake the pup corrected herself. Emblem didn’t care about the lake, her colors had barely come in. No, she only cared about getting her mother all wet! With a wag of a tiny tail, the pup’s large paws pushed out to sneak her body forward. Though her front was low to the ground, her hind end stuck up high. Realizing this, Emblem glanced back at it with a growl and her hind end immediately obeyed the fierce command with a drop. There. Now her mother would never catch her! She peeked out to see the silver wolfess tabbed with ocean green stand quietly. The pup let out a squeaking bark – ferocious in her mind of course – and her mother glanced over towards her direction. Emblem giggled to herself and took a step back.

“Emblem?” Her mother’s voice was like sweet honey and dripped smooth to the earth. Emblem wanted her voice to sound like that one day. But she was going to play a joke on her mommy no matter what! Another yelping bark and she could hear her mother’s paws shift in the sand. One…she was coming closer…two…almost there…THREE!

“GROWRRRAWWWRRR!” Emblem bellowed, jumping out to splash in the puddle that was left behind with the rains. Her mother yelped slightly as water splashed on her face and Emblem fell backwards as she laughed.

Melancholy gripped her heart – not now not now! Something to occupy her time. It had been two days since the day she had died – Emblem had to be dead right? – and if she was going to spend eternity alone she was going to have to come up with something to make sure her mind didn’t rot in her skull. Which was happening pretty fast with this unbearable silence engulfing the place. She swished her tail and turned back around. The strange sensation hadn’t slipped her – Emblem was not hungry. She would eat if she could – just to do something – but she didn’t feel the need.

Emblem could swim. Her charms may have been taken away but she knew how to swim like a regular wolf. Yes, she would swim. The slate blue wolfess stood on shore for a moment and overlooked everything before her. The water was blue – beautiful and clear. A shaky sigh escaped her lungs and she placed a paw in.

Gods she could not even feel the temperature of the water! Emblem wrenched her paw out in horror and stared at it. It was liquid and warm maybe? Or cold? Or hot? It didn’t matter did it? The sea could have been made by liquid fire and Emblem would never feel a thing! Anger surged through her – she did not want to be here! Why couldn’t she just stay dead, just sleep for all of eternity and love the memories that she had? Why this, why here? Nothing ever changed! Her fury drove her into the water head first – she felt the resistance but not the liquid. The resurface brought a gasp for breath and another pang of irritation flashed through her. What was this limbo that she needed to breathe but not eat?

Emblem shoved her paws out and her legs kicked. The slender body was propelled forward and her fiery sapphire eyes aimed for the fog. There would be other places; she had no doubt in her mind. Emblem would find someone else, someone with answers at least. No more mind games! Every paddle pushed her closer and the mist was closing in. She wanted to bite it, to taste it. To feel something!

Her little island was moving farther and farther away – the mist however decided it would stay put. The initial movement was all that Emblem was getting. It was taunting her! Dammit! With a growl she continued to push and strain until her muscles began to burn. Eyes narrowed with a light of stubbornness behind them. If she had to swim forever than fine!

The wave was unexpected. The water began to pull forward and Emblem stopped in surprise as she faced a wall. The two stared at each other – if a wave could stare, which it probably could – for a suspended second in time. And then it rushed Emblem and tossed her backwards. The wolfess rolled and tumbled violently before she was able to twist her body around. The wave never grew or shortened its height – it just moved forward. Emblem rode it with wide eyes – that shoreline was coming in fast. And then she was higher, higher still before she was falling. Impact knocked the breath out of her – her ribcage collapsed for a second before pushing back out. The water shoved her further up on the bank and then all that was left was Emblem.

“Alright Pyridon…I’ll stay…” she breathed. That was the last thing she said before blackness took her.

Day Four

She did not feel like moving. Consciousness touched on closed lids but the wolfess made no movement to open them up. She did not want to. She would sleep forever, her body wet but not cold. Nothing externally affected her, just internally. Her body was sore from the painful jar it had received from Pyridon. But... She knew he was here yes? Pyridon was in fact here, even if it was just for a short amount of time, even if it was just to keep her on this hell of an island she was not alone.

But was it worth getting up over? Finally eyes opened and stared blankly out over the water. Was it a sea? Suddenly curious but this obscure thought Emblem wearily leaned forward and lapped it up. She felt the water slip down her throat but it did not have the liquid cool sensation, no sweet taste nor bitter brim. But it sedated her and a few more swallows for good measure followed before her head hit the sand again and sore eyelids returned to their relaxed state.

Emblem came to again hours later, when the sun - or its impostor - was high in the sky. A small whimper left her frame as she twitched her legs. It felt as if her whole right side was bruised. Still she did not move. She felt deflated, useless. All of this was pointless. Eyes sidled shut again and Emblem let herself go.

Day Five

Sleep.

Wake. Stare. Silence, loneliness, nothing here but her.

Sadness, self pity.

Sleep.

Day Six

She had a dream. Staring eyes, voices taunting her, driving her onwards. She was running, constantly running but the scenery never changed. With a cry she woke, a jerk tingling down her spine. Sightless eyes filled with inner demons tormenting her, blaming her for this. Telling her she would die here, to weak to move on, too useless to save herself.

No.

No. No. No.

Anger filled her chest and her heart rate spiked. With a snarl her sight came too and the voices were cast back into the subconscious from whence they had come. She would not settle herself on the sand and die like some uncultured animal. Emblem was a wolf, and wolves did not just let themselves die. They didn't wish themselves away to rot, despite sorrow, anxiety, pain and agony, wishing and dreams. She would find something to do. Pyridon was after all, here at some interval even if he was silent.

This whole terrible place was full of tense silence.

Emblem planted a paw on the ground and pushed, slowly but surely easing her pained visage upwards. Success and liberation occurred when she finally found her paws. Vertigo hit her head like a hammer but only caused a slight sway. She was not, after all, going to let herself fall over. Partially because she was not sure she would even try to get back up. The wolfess staggered forward towards the water's edge and slowly cast her eyes across the distant esoteric horizon. Nothing, as if something deep within her expected her opticals to be greeted by some form or mass that would erect hope. Slowly the triangular head touched the resistance that was liquid and lapped it up - she didn't feel thirsty but who knew if her body was still being deprived of all that it needed to survive.

She didn't think it was, but it made her feel better to do something natural and commonplace.

Today...was it the same day as yesterday and the day before, or did this qualify as something new? Today sh e was going to explore yet again...maybe count how many wolf lengths this entire island was...was she that desperate already?

She had to do something to get her mind off the wallowing self pity that threatened to overtake her every time she thought about this predicament. If this was hell then so be it but Pyridon was watching and she be damned if she was going to go insane or fall over like some pup. So, wolf lengths it was! She deeply scored the current location - Emblem was pretty certain that she would not forget where she had slept for the last...however long it had been - but she didn't want to be circling the mundane island for all of eternity either. And then, from there, a paw reached out, took to the earth and a "one" slipped forth from a tired maw.

Emblem had began at midday. With no warmth from the sun and her tired mind easily able to escape from the light that usually pulverized her eyelids it was difficult for Emblem to wake up on a normal cycle. Thus she had come to and midday and that is where her counting adventure began.

In the end it came out to five thousand seven hundred sixty eight wolf lengths in total by the time she returned to the marked location. Her voice had rang out with every word, every number, infliction over each syllable until the silence was gone and for a moment - for a single moment - Emblem had forgotten where she was...and for a moment she felt like she was going to be all right.

But of course...that was only a moment.

Day Seven

It was a feeling, once so fleeting and distant that Emblem had never given it much thought that now attempted to engross her. The one of sadness, of the choking sigh and whimpering reprieve of the other life, that which she had lost by every fault of her own. The memories trickled across her mind, revealing to her everything she had - now gone - everything she loved - now dead. It hurt in the pit of her stomach, in the wells of her heart and the possession could not so easily be fought back. It engaged her emotions, the only feeling that could ever pull out such an array of desires from any one being. She wished she could go back, to try harder for she had surely failed her Celestial in ways that only a shaman could fail. She longed to understand where she was for that last step of acceptance, embracing the known for it was the unknown that scared her the most.

The pain was alive within her and this time Emblem did not fight it down - not yet, not when she wanted to feel it so badly, to mourn because it was all she thought she could feel. Such sadness, such pain that the thought of happiness was but a curling wisp of smoke, gone before she could breath it in and trap it in the depths of her lungs. Her voice trickled out of her maw, curses to herself for being the way she was. Failure. Foolish. Stupid. And the anger rose from the core of her being and she wanted to hurt something - hurt herself most of all. How could she let this be? How could she, claiming such a tie to Pyridon, to water, allow this horrid act of insubordination to occur?

The better logical part of her knew it could not just be the act of one to save her pack, that in the end she had tried but in her eyes it was not enough, would never be enough. Because all her trying did not bring back her pack. It did not save her from this repetitious torture, this pulverization of her heart. How much more could she take, how much longer would she ever be able to last in this harsh semi-reality, this bleak existence with no promise of future, just of past? Could she survive without losing herself in the process?

Blue eyes stared blankly at the water. She sat, not at her natural location so impressed by her body, but at a wide stream. It was full, clear and beautiful. The trickle of water ran over her and maybe it would have soothed her once. Not now. If a wolf could shed tears she would have but the soft pale silver-blue uiscen could do no such thing. The silence, always oppressing, was deterred from the clamorous noise that reverberated within the confines of her head.

So warped in the self pitied loathing and sadness that Emblem did not notice the fish that floated idly by. It was beautiful, speckled with soft variations of pinks and oranges across the slate gray. It floated against the current though did not seem to mind its pause in the shadow of the wolf. Had this fish ever seen sometihng like Emblem before.

It was the first sign of life Emblem had encountered since she had found herself trapped on the island and the sudden shock of this brought her reeling back into the current situation. Her eyes lit up, the instinct to kill the fish sudden. But she was not hungry, felt no need to eat and her body did not seem to waste away from the lack of nutrition. Besides...she could not bring herself to kill that which shared the same element as she, not here and not now.

“Hello.” Her voice was gentle, so afraid that the whispers of her breath would startle the being into the depths of the deep and she would never see it again. The fish did dart but only a jerk before it stopped again. She received no answer but that was alright. Emblem did not know what to say to the fish at first - should she introduce herself plainly? Or attempt to engage it with a question so maybe it would stay with her. The gentle colors reminded her of a fading sunset after the rain. The seated form slowly lowered itself down until the belly of the wolf touched the confides of earth. Paws dipped into the water and her nose hovered just above, sad eyes watching and studying. “I hope I don't scare you...I promise I won't do anything."

The fish had no answer for her.

“My name is Emblem...I am a Uiscen - or I was. I don't know where I am, and I do not suppose you could help me?" Silence again. Emblem would not have been surprised if the fish talked to her, in fact she would welcome such a thing. So the disappointment was alive when only the gurgle of water over rocks touched her sapphire kissed ears. “That's all right. Maybe I will understand one day."

She could not lament to a fish, she realized. And not for the sole fact that it was a fish. No, she just did not want to bore the poor creature away with the sad wails of her heart. What did he care - yes he - of the life story about the wolf that hovered on the other side. Emblem wished she could join him. Was the water cool to his skin, was it fresh and wonderful like it had been on Paragon?

“Do you mind if I call you something? I don't want to be rude and not address you properly." No the fish did not mind, would not mind. He drifted forward slightly and Emblem felt her body ease to follow. “You shall be Enigma." She found the title befitting, he was her enigma to this world of terrible mundane, her touch of sunlight and escape. The mouth of the fish moved repeatedly with a flash of his gills.

Suddenly he started to move forward quickly and Emblem leapt up with a slight wail. She followed him along as he darted to and fro, eyes searching. She was clumsy, a Uiscen was never as quick out of water. Enigma continued his pace, fin flicking back and forth. Emblem shoved forward but her paw caught on an uprooted tree and she came crashing down with another cry of agony - not for her body but for her loss. “Enigma please! Don't leave me!" The usurped emotion burst forth from her voice and her chest was gouged open as she attempted to search for him again. No tangerine kissed form, no flashing pink. Her sunset was gone! Emblem scrambled up and shoved her head in the water, dashed across the stream and ran along its lengths. Every movement was frantic, hectic but no answer was found.

Emblem ran back to their meeting spot. Maybe he had gone back! Maybe Enigma had turned around! But it was barren of the life she so longed for and Emblem collapsed with another mournful outcry. He had left her! She did not mean to make him leave! The tear less sobs hit her hard and she let them come, whimpers curling out of her body and fading into time.